The sound of rain on the wooden roof top was like the sound of the beads of a broken necklace falling down on a hard surface. His fingers traced the line of her hips, digging in and pulling her close. She gasped and fell on his chest. His lips gently brushed against her jaw line and down her neck. He stopped in the crook of her neck, just taking her scent in. He kissed the delicate skin lovingly, making her shudder. She chanted his name, so sweetly, like honey dripping from her lips, “Jaejoonga!”
He looked up to stare into the depth of her dark eyes. The lights reflected in her irises like moonlight on the surface of a lake at night, silver ripples breaking the sheer darkness. He smiled. 
“Nabi, my sweet Nabi.”
His hands moved on her back, counting every crease in her top and the bones in her back, his fingertips tickling her spine. She giggled shyly at the feather like touch and bent forward, melting into the heat of his chest and arms. He kissed his way up this time, just pausing at the corner of . He could feel the movement of her chest against his body, fast and impatient, filled with anticipation and … Fear. He bent his head toward her ear and murmured softly. 
“I know it’s your first time. I won’t do anything rash to harm you. If you want me to stop, all you need to do is say so. Alright?”
Her heart skipped a beat. All the blood rushed to her face, making her feel feverish. She suddenly felt and exposed despite being yet fully clothed. She bit hard on her lower lip and hid her face in his muscular chest. His voice came in with a puff of hot air again. 
“Alright?”
She just nodded into his chest. Jaejoong grabbed her chin and made her tilt her head up. He smiled gently, melting her worries and doubts. She felt her heart beat unimaginably fast, trying to break free from its bony ribcage. Her breathing was uneven. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her passionately. Her fingers tangled in the fabric of his white dress shirt and crumbled it. Her mind went blank as he gently bit on her lower lip and her lip between his own. 
He gently guided her back to the bed and pushed her down without breaking the kiss. She scooted back on the soft bed spread and let Jaejoong climb on top of her. Her chest was now heaving rapidly. Jaejoong broke the kiss as they both panted in need of air. His delicate fingers pulled on the hem of the top she was wearing, his warm fingers brushed against her bare skin. She hissed and arched her back, like being touched by hot iron. He waited for her to calm down and look at him. His eyes were asking for permission. She gave him a small nod. He peeled off the top and dropped it on the ground without hesitation, to make sure she wouldn’t change her mind. He marveled at the sight of the untouched and unmarked porcelain skin. He bent down and kissed her collar bone and then her chest. His lips moved down her torso. Her fingers tangled in his soft, silken, blond hair. She tried not to pull too hard, but the approving hum escaping Jaejoong’s lips made her realize she was not hurting him and he was indeed enjoying the slight tug. Her back arched as he a small hot, wet line on her belly and his hands moved up and down her bare arms, scratching the exposed skin, leaving pale pink marks behind like very thin, silk ribbons hanging from her shoulders. She pulled on his hair a little roughly and moaned out loud as he bit the side of her hip, making her body jerk up because of the most pleasurable kind of pain she had ever experienced. Her hands moved up abruptly and covered to quieten the scandalous moans was making without her consent. 
Jaejoong rose up. His dark brown eyes darted to hers. She was writhing underneath him, her body rubbing against him, sending small electric charges through his body. Her body was like hot wire. He grabbed his shirt and ed it impatiently with a low groan. He tossed it on the floor, too. She took another sharp breath in. Her eyes widened. Nabi had seen his tattoos before, but from up close they looked even more magnificent. The black ink twirled on the porcelain skin of his chiseled chest. Black against white. She traced the butterfly wings on his right shoulder. He put his left hand on hers as he hovered above her, balancing his weight on his knees and his right hand. Her small hand disappeared in his large palm. She felt a sense of security. He smiled and said, “I was thinking of someone especial when I was getting this tattoo.”
Her heart fluttered. She looked up at him. She wished to find the answer to whom that especial person was in his darkened eyes. He bent down and kissed her again. He moved her hand to the top of her head and grabbed her other hand as he fully sat on his knees, pinning her wrists on top of her head on the mattress. He laced his fingers with hers. 
Nabi felt herself getting lost in the sensations unexplainable by words. As she tilted her head to expose her long neck to his hungry kisses she heard a crackling noise nearby. The noise similar to that of someone walking on the wooden floors of the second floor of the large house they were staying at. Her eyes flung open anxiously. Jaejoong’s eyes were closed and he was putting small kisses on her earlobe and neck. His right hand tenderly untangled from her fingers. It  moved to the strap of her dark blue bra and pulled it down her shoulder. She heard a giggling sound and her head sharply turned towards it. To her utter horror there was a hand poking through the small crack of the bedroom door, holding a cellphone trained at them, recording their every move. She screamed and pushed a shocked Jaejoong down, making him fall from the edge of the bed. She clawed at the bed spread and tried to cover herself as she slid down the side of the bed, hiding behind it. 
The door flew open and a few people toppled inside, chortling in laughter. Jaejoong sprang to his feet and looked at them through still hooded eyes. Three guys and a girl, his idiotic cousin Minsook and his friends: Sangmin, Chansoo and Tiffany. He felt rage rising up in his chest.
“Minsook! What do you think  you’re doing? Didn’t you guys leave with Junsu and Yuchan?”
The young boy with the cellphone in hand grinned broadly and hid his hand behind him. 
“Hyung,” he answered, “they left earlier. We came to get you. We were just curious … There were noises coming out of the room.” 
The others chuckled. Jaejoong gave them a murderous look which made them go quiet. He looked at Nabi who was struggling with her top and trying to keep the sheets in front of her body. He bent down and asked, “are you alright?”
She just nodded, avoiding his gaze. Her eyes were filled with tears. She shrank back as he tried to grab her shoulders and make her turn towards him.  Jaejoong looked at Minsook. His jugular vein bulged out as he tightened his perfectly set jaw.
“Give me your phone.”
“Hyung!” The young boy shouted in protest.
Jaejoong held his hand out, “I said give me your damn phone.”
Minsook looked down at his phone and then at the others. The girl raised an eyebrow and with a small gesture which went unnoticed by a raging Jaejoong, motioned for him to run. He looked back in the room one last time and dashed out. 
The blond man cursed loudly and ran after him, calling out his name. 
Nabi who had finally managed to put her top back on stood up. She brushed her straight messy hair behind her ears. She was avoiding looking at anyone, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. She knew in the back of her mind that she hadn’t done anything wrong. They were both adults and she loved him, loved him so much she was willing to give herself to him and he had said he loved her, too. She didn’t owe an explanation to this young bunch of intruders. Still, the hostile, mocking gazes fixated on her were too much, like they had caught them in the act of adultery. Nabi moved to walk out of the room. Tiffany who had been silent so far blocked her way. Suddenly she had taken an intense interest in her own nails. 
“Do you know,” her voice was calm and collected as she looked down at her nails, “why we filmed you, Unni?”
Nabi didn’t say anything. She stared at the other girl’s long nails, painted purple and gold. She dug her own short nails which were painted a pale beige into the palm of her hands.
“Oppa asked us to do it.”
“You mean Jaejoong?” Nabi’s voice shook.
Tiffany raised her head and smiled. Her grayish green lenses concealed the glitter in her eyes. 
“Oppa Jaejoong is not the kind of person who stays with someone for long. I’m telling you this … Because he did the same to me.”
Nabi’s eyes went wide.
“You’re lying!”
Tiffany sighed dramatically. 
“I wish I had the film to show you. He used it to break up with me. I loved him very much. That’s why we’ve stayed friends, but I can’t see that he does the same thing to someone else.” 
Nabi shook her head vigorously. 
“He wouldn’t do that. He’s not that kind of person.”
Tiffany smiled kindly at her like someone smiling at a naive, ignorant child and grabbed her shoulders. 
“Unni, did he say that he loves you?” 
Nabi’s eyes widened. 
“Yes!”
“Did he also tell you he got his butterfly tattoo, thinking of someone especial?” 
Nabi’s shoulders went rigid under her hands. She felt her long nails dig into her shoulders slightly. 
Tiffany bent forward and murmured into Nabi’s ear.
“Let me guess! This is your first time being with a man!”
“How did you …” Nabi’s voice broke. A drop of salty tear fell from her perfectly shaped almond eye.
“He likes s. He likes taking away their innocence. He says it’s easier to scare them away afterwards.” 
She pulled back and stared at the broken girl in front of her. Tiffany wiped the tear from her cheek and cooed soothingly, “I’d get away from him as quickly as possible. The choice is yours of course. If you think you can deal with being dumped afterwards … Stay with him. He’s worth it after all. Even one night with him is like being in paradise.” 
Tiffany closed her eyes like someone remembering the sweet memories of the past and smiled to herself. Nabi suppressed a sob. She pushed her way out of the room and ran down the corridor towards the stairs. Tiffany grimaced and chuckled lowly. Sangmin approached her.
“How did you know all that?” He asked curiously. 
Tiffany laughed, an ugly laughter filled with hatred.
“Jaejoong oppa was stupid enough to confide in me. He asked about how to deal with a . He was afraid of hurting her and doing something wrong.”
She made bunny ears with her fingers mockingly at the mention of the word , the gold on her purple nails glittering under the light. “The rest … I just heard it through the door, like you idiots did.” 
“Why did you lie to her?” Chansoo asked, sounding irritated.
Tiffany her heels, eyes blazing.
“She doesn’t deserve him. She’s not good enough.”
“And you are?” Said Chansoo with an unbelieving laughter, “you’re a hypocrite! Did you know that? It was supposed to be a joke and now you’re trying to break them up. Do you know Jaejoong hyung will never forgive you if he finds out?”
Before she could answer Jaejoong marched back into the room. He was holding Minsook’s phone in his hand. The young boy was following him rubbing his red ear. His older cousin had caught up to him and twisted his ear to make him remember to act like an adult. Minsook was pouting disappointedly. 
“Where is Nabi?” Jaejoong asked, his eyes flaring dangerously. 
They looked at each other. Tiffany smiled sweetly and linked her arm in his. He was still waist up. His arm was ice cold like a marble statue. He looked down at her hand in a way that Tiffany decided it would be better to retrieve it. She cleared . 
“Oppa!”
“What?” He snapped back impatiently.
She pouted and cocked her head to the side. Jaejoong angrily repeated his question. Tiffany rolled her eyes. 
“She was upset.” She said, her mind working fast. Jaejoong wasn’t as naive as Nabi, besides he knew Tiffany better and knew what she was capable of, “she thought … You know … That you did that on purpose.”
“Did what on purpose?”
“Film her.”
Jaejoong’s face dropped. Tiffany put her hand on his arm again a little more carefully this time and bit on her lip. She could now feel the goosebumps on his skin.
“Oppa! I tried to tell her she was wrong. She wouldn’t listen to me. I told her we were just fooling around and you didn’t know … She said …”
Tiffany dropped her hands and hung her head. She sighed loudly and played with her fingers nervously. Chansoo looked at Sangmin in disbelief. The other man shrugged. Tiffany was not a lot of things, but she was sure an amazing actress. 
Jaejoong grabbed her shoulders and bent down to look into her eyes.
“What did she say?” His voice had started to shake.
“Well …”
Jaejoong roughly shook her. 
“Oppa!” Tiffany shouted, her eyes welling up, “you’re hurting me.” 
Jaejoong instantly let go, taking a step back. Tiffany put her hand on to cover her smirk, faking an exaggerated pained face. 
“I’m sorry. Just tell me where she is.” Jaejoong pleaded in a more gentle voice. Worry was lurking in the pit of his stomach.
Chansoo was beginning to feel really bad for the poor guy who seemed genuinely worried. Tiffany was playing a dirty cat and mouse with him, apparently trying to buy time so by the time Jaejoong took off after Nabi, she would have already gone. He had enough of her cheap act.
“She just left without saying anything.” Chansoo said in a rough voice, staring at Tiffany. Her head sprang up. 
“You …,” she spat out.
Chansoo debated whether to tell on her or not.
“Hyung,” he looked at Jaejoong, “you might be able to catch up to her if you run.”
Jaejoong looked confused for a split second, then he just took a deep breath in. He looked at the only girl in the room and his eyes sparkled in realization.
“Thanks Chansoo …. Tiffany, I’ll have a talk with you when I get back.” 
Jaejoong grabbed his shirt and ran out. The merciless downpour soaked him through as he stepped out into the murky curtain of the night. Ironically the first thing which came to his mind was the song “cry me a river”. He pulled the shirt on and ran out of the picture perfect, well looked after garden and the wooden gate in front of the house. He looked to the left and right, but couldn’t see anyone in the dim lights of the street. The wet stream running down his face made it even harder to see. He decided to walk in the direction of the main street. His walking soon turned into a panicked run. He couldn’t see Nabi anywhere. She didn’t know this neighborhood very well and it made him worry for her even more. He was thinking about all the things he wanted to tell her, but he hadn’t gotten the chance to do so. The image of her teary eyes was burned behind his lids, making them sting. He just needed to find her, explain to her some things and he knew that everything would be fine again. As he got to the steep road which led to the main street he saw a dark, shaking shadow on the side of the street. A yellow cab had come to a halt in front of it. Jaejoong sped up his pace, slipping on the wet ground and getting up, shouting Nabi’s name. It was her. He could tell from her soaked shoulder length hair and the blue coat she was wearing on her lean figure. She got into the taxi. Whether she heard him or not he didn’t know. By the time he got to the street the taxi had taken off, it was even too late to try and catch up with the fading yellow spot in the distance.  
Jaejoong bent forward, hands on his knees and his throat burning. His breath came out in swirling, white clouds. He was soaked thoroughly. His blonde hair stuck to his forehead and cheeks. He brushed the hair out of his face in an angry motion and stared into the suffocating darkness. Heavy drops of rain whipped on his face ruthlessly, making his skin sting. There was a bitter taste in his mouth, like the aftertaste of drinking sour milk. 
He looked at himself. His ed white shirt was stuck to his body like a second skin, his leather pants were glued to his legs uncomfortably and he was barefoot. He hadn’t noticed that he had no shoes on just until now. He could feel the sting of pain spreading through his feet. The tips of his toes were bloodied, the stream of rain washed the blood away as new droplets formed on the wounds. Jaejoong felt his frustration build up inside. He let his anger and all the unspoken words come out in a single loud scream, piercing the inky veil of eternal darkness.