It was almost 5 am and he hadn't slept yet.

No, he couldn't.

His room was so calm but his mind was racing and he didn't know why. 

He could hear the faint sound of adzan—people told him that it was a sound that calling moslem people to pray, one new thing he learned from his journey—It sounded more like an alarm telling him that it was dawn and he should sleep.

But he couldn't.

He wasn't anxious, nor scared.

He was perfectly calm but he felt empty.

He was missing something.

The journey started to get boring and lonely.

He missed home.

Not home the literally home, place where his family lived.

But home where s were at.

He missed s—their moments together—though he rarely talked, he really enjoyed when he were with them.

It was as warm as warm soup he ate last night.

It was as fun as the experience he had while doing a concert.

Without them, it wasn't the same.

That's why this journey started to bore him—the so-called holiday while in truth he was trying to run away from his problems.

He missed himchan's lameness, Jongup's fun and smart remarks, daehyun's loud mouth, even Youngjae's cringe-worthy aegyo.

He missed Junhong too. He missed him the most.

His smile, his cute giggles, his awkward nature, his honest and sharp words, his talent, all things that never failed to amaze him.

He missed Junhong the most.

He stared at his phone.

Should he call Junhong? It wouldn't be lame, right?

Himchan had called him last week, rambling about how he missed B.A.P as whole and how Jongup never returned his love.

'It's alright to call Junhong once in a while, you are like his brother why should you feel embarrassed to call him?', He convinced himself. 

He pressed Junhong's number, didn't even bother to think how much money he would spend on the call. 

He really needed to hear Junhong's voice, soon.

He was really really nervous, it felt like forever waiting for Junhong to answer the call.

Has Junhong woken up yet?

His palms started to get sweaty.

“Hello?”
 

His breath hitched when he heard Junhong’s voice.
 

“Junhong?” He could hear his own voice shaking.
 

“Yongguk-hyung! What a surprise!”

“Yeah, I hope im not bothering you this early, how's life there?”
 

“No, you are not, Hyung. I just woke up hehe. I'm fine. How about you?”

“I'm good. I'm calling from Bali now.”

 
“Bali?! Wow! That's far! Bali is in Indonesia, right? How could you get there, Hyung? You never tell me!”

He chuckled at the boy's excitement.
 

“A friend recommended it, I've been here since two days ago. It's beautiful and fun, you have to come here. Food's good too, spicy but good. You will like it…”

'”Ah.. I wanna go to Bali too~ all I do is sleeping, eating, playing and practicing here.. I'm bored!”

“Hahaha maybe after I’m back to Korea we should gather with the others and plan a vacation”

“Sounds good, Hyung! Whoah I can't wait!” The joy in Junhong's voice made him grinned from ear to ear. He could imagine his smiles and the lovely dimple on his cheek. He wished he could kiss it.
 

“Hyung, I kinda miss you, you know..” he was taken aback by his sudden confession.
 

“We haven't talked for a while. I kinda miss it hehe. I miss Himchan-hyung's lameness too. I'm so happy that you call me..”

The feeling that he had been holding bubbled up in his chest, ready to spill in a second. 
“I miss you too” his voice croaked as a single tears flowed from his eyes. He covered his mouth to prevent his sobs from coming out. 

“Hyung, are you okay? I think I just heard you cried…”

Mentally cursing himself for being sissy, he regained his composure and answered, 'I am fine.”

“Oh, that's good then. Hey, won't you pay a lot for calling me this long, Hyung? Is it okay?”
 

Money doesn't matter when it comes to you, Junhong. 

He wiped his tears, “No, it’s okay, you know how rich I am, aight?” He hoped that his voice wouldn't betray him and that the boy would notice that he was crying.

Junhong chuckled and Yongguk couldn't help but smiling, “Seriously, Hyung... are you really okay? Because you rarely call me…”

 
He bit his lips. Junhong was right, he wasn’t okay. His heart hurt because everything that happened. He missed everything, he missed being on stage, making music, and laughing with the members. He felt lost and hopeless. His hands were shaking due to hold the unbearable feeling he had at the moment. He was close to breaking down, he was going confess about it but the boy spoke first, “Hyung, I... I really miss the moment as B.A.P, Hyung... I’m so sad that we have to go through all this ... but like what you always say, everything's gonna be alright, isn't it?”

That hit him hard and he was loss for words. He realized that it wasn’t the time to be weak and he had to be strong. Not only Junhong, but everyone in B.A.P was looking up on him. They needed him to guide them, since he was the oldest, he was the leader.

“Yes. Everything’s gonna be alright.” He finally stopped shaking and no more tears were shed. They were silent for a while.

“Junhong, you know... My old man once said that we won't know what we got till it's gone and we will learn something from it. I didn’t really understand it back then, but I finally know it now. I hate this kind of situation, we all hate it, but it teaches us a lot of things... at least it will teach us about how cruel the world can be and how to treasure every moment in life because of it…”

“I know it, Hyung, but…” Junhong went silent and suddenly he heard sobs from the other line.

 “Junhong? Are you alright?”
 

“I.. I am scared, Hyung” The amount of sadness in Junhong's voice broke his heart, “I-I'm s-sorry I've t-tried to hold it a-and be positive b-but. I’m.. I-I also know that we will fix this matter somehow but I-I can’t help it, Hyung… I-I am scared o-of what would happen later...”

He hoped he could fly to where Junhong be right at the moment, to kiss his tears and embrace him tightly till he was sure that nobody could hurt that boy. 

'It's okay Junhong. it's okay to cry and be scared. Sometimes I have bad thoughts too, that things won’t get better in the end and we are stuck in this . It makes me scared but in the end I still believe that everything’s gonna be alright. We are gonna face it together, along with the others. You are not alone. Because we are strong, together we are strong. I believe we can make it, we have been through many things together and things like this won’t stop us. There will be a way. Don't worry, I am going home soon, Okay? Hyung will fix it, we will fix it. You believe in me, right?” He wasn't a religious person but almost every night he prayed to the God deep from his heart that everything would be alright and hoped that he was strong enough to fix, protect and guide s to never walk in the wrong lane again. For everyone to never shed their tears anymore, especially Junhong, that boy was too precious and too pure to be tainted like this. Somehow deep inside his heart, he knew that everything was going to be alright

We might be broken but we can fix it
 

“I-I believe you, Hyung”
 

“Yeah, don’t worry about that. Ah I wish I were there so I can hug you…” He wasn’t trying to sweet talk, he really meant it.
 

“Come home soon, Hyung. I will pick you up in airport. Hehe” He laughed at the boy’s antics.

“Okay, see you then, I need to sleep…”

“Have a nice dream, Hyung… Good night”

“Good morning to you”

He ended the call, staring into nothing as the morning light seeped through the curtain, slowly illuminated the dark room.

He clasped his hand tightly, as he whispered,

“Everything is gonna be alright… I’m going home…”