There’s a list of people who have been assigned to go with 2PM to Japan for their concert, and there isn’t much surprise when I find my name right under Namyong’s. There isn’t much surprise when I find Renn’s name either, since she’s in music production, but the fact that my other two dorm mates aren’t on there means that more likely than not, I get to room with dear old Renn.

Not something I’m really looking forward to.

There really isn’t that much to Renn. She stays out of my way, and in turn so do I. Neither of us are really the talkative type, and although I don’t think I’d mind putting in the effort, she doesn’t seem to want to, so why should I bother? Although she’s older than me, she doesn’t act like it. To be honest, I’d say she has the same mind set as Kass, just a lot more reserved. Does that make any sense? Think Kass, but being unable (or purposely so) to outwardly announce your thoughts. That’s Renn.

Speaking of Kass.

“Why the hell do you get to go?”

I’d usually rather not have an argument over dinner, not when I’m trying to enjoy my food with decent company. Decent, only cause Kass is being a huge bother at the moment.

“I didn’t ask to go,” I reply. And you should know that.

“You got to go with them to the US too, and to Taiwan, and all those places, that’s just unfair!” Kass hits the table with cutlery still in hand and I have no idea how I haven’t gotten a migraine yet.

I hear the front door open, but from the racket that Kass is making, I’m not surprised no one else has noticed. There isn’t a greeting or verbal announcement of an arrival, which is typical Renn- she was always one to slink into and out of the dorm without a word. From the corner of my eye I can see her quietly making her way to her room, and had she not looked like she didn’t want to bother acknowledging her dorm mates, I might have left her to it. Maybe.

“I’m not the only one who goes.” Renn turns around at the sound of my voice and my face remains stoic. “She’s going too.”

Renn looks like she’s going to kill me, and if she could do it with her eyes, I’m sure she would have. With a last glare my way she disappears into her room and Kass’ loud voice brings my attention back to the table.

“Her too?! I know why you get to go, but why does she get to go?!”

I’m tempted to tell her off about formalities, but then, we’re foreigners first, I think.

Renn reappears at the doorway of her bedroom and from the look in Kass’ eyes, and the look on Renn’s face, I’m surprised nothing’s burst into flames yet.

“Don’t look at me,” Renn says tartly. Oh, she speaks. “JYP’s the mastermind. Go send him your complaints.”

“Maybe I will!”

Anymore yelling and I might just lose my appetite.

“Unni,” Fuu speaks up, looking over at Renn, “are you having dinner?”

Renn shakes her head and disappears back into her room, and put my focus back on my food. But before I can even take a bite, Renn’s voice breaks the temporary silence at a decibel that is very unlike her.

“Kass!” Renn storms past Fuu and marches right up to the table. “Did you move my keyboards?!”

“What’s your problem?!” Kass replies, matching Renn’s volume and I swear I might just break something. “My earring fell down and I had to go get it. I put everything back, sheesh!”

Normally I can choose what I pay attention to, and I tune unnecessary things out with ease. This is although both unnecessary and unimportant, is happening right in front of my face. It looks like it might get dangerous the way Kass continues to brandish the pair of chopsticks currently in her grasp, and Renn looks livid as she fires back.

“Earring? My cables are all tangled, I taped those up perfectly! And I know exactly where I plug everything, you unplugged and replugged!”

You guys aren’t that far apart, you really don’t have to yell.

“Well, duh! I didn’t want to get electrocuted. Plus, I needed to charge my phone, all the other sockets on my side were taken!”

Seriously.

“I told you not to touch my cables!”

Seriously.

Kass stands up. “It was just for a minute! What’s wrong with you?!”

“Enough!” My own voice is dangerously low, but I have their full attention and that’s all I need. “Just drop it,” I eye them equally, “both of you.”

Renn turns on her heel and stalks to her room, and Kass collapses back in her chair and crosses her arms over her chest, her expression matching her frustration. All of it reminds me of a five year old throwing a tantrum, and this is one of the rare times I really do feel like the mother of the house. Fuu’s still standing quietly over by our room, almost afraid that she’ll upset someone by moving, and this time my hand comes up to massage my temples. Maybe I’m getting a migraine after all.

Renn comes back out with her bag on and guitar in hand and leaves without a word, and I quietly tell Fuu to clean up as I make my way to my room.

Who would have known most of my stress would come not from work, but from home instead?

This wasn’t part of the contract.

-

I’m at the JYPE building out of habit but there isn’t any scheduled dance practice for today. The boys have mixed schedules: some of them have their own separate recordings, and some of them have vocal lessons. Sometimes I work with Miss A for practice, and sometimes I’m with the trainees helping them out with their dancing, but as of yet, I have no plans for the day.

I find myself in an empty practice room, but before I can move to the middle my phone goes off. One look at the screen brings a smile to my face.

Mai! Make room in your busy schedule for me

I smirk as I tap in my message.

Is that an order?

Rino’s reply comes quick.

You bet it is

She’s playful as ever, and I go along with it as my thumbs fly across the screen.

Give me your options, and I’ll see what I can do

The door to the practice room opens, and I look up from where I’m seated at the back. Jinwoon’s head pokes in and spies me in the mirror, before turning in my direction and sending me his traditional smile, his eyes disappearing into crescents.

“Noona!”

He pushes the door completely open as he walks in, plopping himself down in front of me where I’m sitting sideways on the couch.

“What is it, Jinwoonie-ah?” I ask, a little confused. He looks like he has a reason to talk to me, but if he did, why couldn’t he just ask from the doorway?

Jinwoon is still smiling as if he’s done nothing wrong, and it takes a few seconds before he starts to laugh. He starts to laugh, and I narrow my eyes.

“What is it, Jinwoon?” I repeat, although with a different intonation than before. It’s accusing, because I kind of feel like he’s laughing at me, like an inside joke that I was left out of, ignoring the fact that he and I are the only ones here.

He merely grins some more as he gets up and backs away. “I was just waiting for the hyungs to catch up, that’s all.”

He’s standing by the doorway now, sending me another look of silent laughter before he his head slightly to the side and sends me a look, his smile suddenly disappearing.

“Noona, you’re always here,” he says thoughtfully. “You should go out more.”

I blink in response, a little taken back from the irony of the comment.

“Bye noona!”

“Wha–”

But Jinwoon’s already gone, the door’s swung shut and I’m left alone again. I breath out a tiny chuckle and shake my head in resignation. Tucking my phone in my bag, I attach my mp3 to the stereo system to actually do what I came here to do.

Dance.

It’s something I do often (obviously), but I’ve heard that a lot of people around me also think that’s the only thing I do. Dancing is what I do at work, and since at work is where I see everyone, I don’t blame them. What they think is none of my business, since it is my job.

Dance is an outlet for your emotions, creativity through your body, a way of speaking when you can’t express yourself in words. Maybe that’s why I find it so alluring. You can choose to dance to the lyrics, or focus on the beats. You can dance in fluid motions or move in short, intricate movements. Above all else, you can have fun with it. It’s simple to do: put on some music and you’re good to go. No one said you had to be any good to enjoy dancing. Not to mention it’s a healthy workout.

Dancing is what I like to do, what I choose to do, and not because I have nothing else to do.

After more than a few upbeat songs, my breathing becomes slightly irregular as I pause to catch my breath. A slow song suddenly plays in the background, a result of the randomized option on my mp3, and I find myself reminiscing.

The last time we went back to America for one of 2PM’s concerts, I took a side trip home. I spent it with family and friends, the typical, but other than that, I haven’t been back. I’m not sure if I should feel homesick once in a while- I know for a fact Fei Fei gets emotional when her parents are mentioned, and Khun occasionally looks distant after he’s received a text from home, but me?

Wooyoung asked me that once, when we were stuck using the stairs the one day neither of us could wait for the elevators. Probably to break the awkward silence that lasted longer than it probably should have- polite small talk can only go so far.

I remember almost tripping up the steps and catching myself on the railing. The stairwell was silent- Wooyoung was behind me to my left, and I knew that he had stopped moving as well.

“You okay, Mai?” he had asked, and I quickly nodded my answer.

Neither of us had budged from our spots, and looking back now, I still don’t what prompted the conversation that followed.

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

His voice had been light, not exactly prodding, but not exactly letting up either. I turned to face him.

“What brought it up?”

Answering a question with a question was always the best way to avoid answering it at all.

Wooyoung had shrugged, and I remember feeling like he was approaching a serious situation with a nonchalant air, and I hadn’t liked that I couldn’t tell if he really meant it or not.

“I don’t know, sometimes I wonder if you ever have time to just, relax.”

“Who says I don’t?”

I knew he hadn’t meant it in its literal term, and I remember regretting answering so quickly, but then immediately taking it back.

“Renn says you’re the same at home.”

I didn’t regret my next answer either.

“Well then maybe you should just hang with her.”

I’m not sure what makes me go on the defensive when Wooyoung’s around, or when Wooyoung’s mentioned, or when Wooyoung’s present, or just Wooyoung in general. It’s frustrating, but it’s also habit- something I have yet to break. But it’s not like he’s complained about it, so maybe he doesn’t care.

I had turned around and started back up the stairs, putting an end to- whatever it was, and leaving it at that. I hadn’t even managed to take my second step when I heard/saw/felt Wooyoung’s presence in my personal bubble.

“Mai...”

He had skipped the couple of steps to catch up, approaching from my left side as he stood hovering in front of me. He had managed to stay off to the side, as if he had aimed to block my way but thought better of it.

It was still too close for comfort.

It isn’t often when I hear my heartbeat in my ears, and I don’t blush easily either. So when those were the two things that decided to happen simultaneously, I was more than grateful for the intrusion of another employee, who, like us, must not have had the patience to wait for the elevator.

Which brings me to my next question.

Since when did I ever become impatient in the first place?