I’m feeling nervous.

These days, whenever we’re going to meet, my heart will race against my will. I know the fact very well that I’m crushing on him. I’m not sure if he feels that way towards me. We clicked really well the moment we first met, when my sister introduced me to his boyfriend and his friend six months ago. And that friend is Im Chankyung.

We’ve been contacting each other. We share a lot of the same interests. My love for hiphhop songs, my favorite rapper, my liking to going to gigs, he likes everything that I do and vice versa. That was how we got close really quick. I thought he was older at first, because well, he did look older than his actual age. But then, he did act mature even though the fact that he is actually a year younger than me.

All that aside, I’m probably just a friend to him.

Well, being a rising idol and all, he has lots of fans and brushed shoulders with the prettiest girl group members.

I don’t stand a chance.

“Yerin, are you ready yet? Hyunwoo is here!”

My older sister, Soorin, peeks into my room. I quickly pick up my sling bag and rise from my dressing table.

“Yup, I’m ready.”

“Oh,” my sister smiles an evil smile. “You’re wearing a skirt? You really hate it no matter how many times I told you that you have nice legs.”

I shrug. “I just feel like it.”

“Right. Changkyun would drop his jaw if he saw you.”

“Why suddenly Changkyun?”

“Like I didn’t know that you’re crushing on him hard.”

“Why would you say that?” I avoid her eyes. I didn’t want to deny it but it’s too embarrassing to admit that I do.

“If smiling from ear to ear while texting him is not crushing on a boy, I don’t know what that is,” my sister laughs.

“Shut up, unnie.” I reach out to pinch her arm, but she swiftly avoids me and laughs. I love seeing her so happy. She really look radiant these days. Maybe it has to do with the fact that she’s in love with Hyunwoo oppa, who is the leader of the group that Changkyun is in with. They had known each other since high school, but starting going out six months ago. Only recently they started going on dates. They always make sure to bring me and the other Monsta X (their group name by the way) group member along to cover up the fact that they are actually on dates. In this case, Changkyun is the usual victim.

-

“We’ll be away for six months for the asia tour.” Hyunwoo oppa looks troubled when he reveals the fact during our dinner together. He keeps rubbing theback of his neck. Soorin unnie, on the other hand, looked the least affected. She just keeps eating. They are really a cute pair. Hyunwoo is reserved and gentle, while my unnie is bubbly and witty.

“It’s okay. You have to be busy when you’re still a rookie. We can always contact each other whenever you can.” Soorin unnie smiles widely.

My sister is really cool. Me, on the other hand, feels even more anxious. Six months is a long time. What if I grew distant with Changkyun? What if he found an amazing girl who can lift him up during those busy times? The news disheartened me. I was thinking about confessing to Changkyun, but I don’t think I can do that right now. If he doesn’t feel the same way towards me, it might disturb his focus while he was away.

“I’m really sorry.” Hyunwoo smiles gently.

“I told you, I’ll be okay. Just text me once in a while, okay?” Soorin unnie squeezes Hyunwoo oppa’s hand, and the smile returns to his face at Soorin unnie’s soothing gesture.

Well, they are cute and all, but sometimes it’s still boring being a third wheel.

After the warm dinner, we take a walk at the nearby park. It’s quite late into a Monday night and its’s still in early spring. There are not many people around because it’s so chilly. I swear I’m not going to do anything as stupid as wearing a short skirt in early spring anymore. God.

Hyunwoo oppa and Soorin unnie are walking ahead of us, lost in their conversations. A few steps behind, I am walking alongside Changkyun. Maybe because it is chilly, but somehow I’m feeling awkward and unable to start a conversation.

I sigh. A subtle chuckle sound followed after. I look to my side and see Changkyun smirking slightly.

“What?” I can see a spark of mischief in his eyes.

“Come to think of it, I don’t think I have ever seen you in a skirt before.”

“Why? Do I look weird in it?”

“Nope. You actually look cute in it.” He slightly bites down his lower lip. I swear he looks embarrassed saying that. “Are you trying to impress me?”

“Tch. You wish.” I playfully try to kick his shin, but he jumps to the side instead, laughing at me.

“Kids!” Soorin turns around, “Hyunwoo and I are going to get some ice cream. Wait for us here, okay?”

“We can-”

Soorin didn’t even wait for me to finish talking and then ran off somewhere, dragging Hyunwoo along with her. Oh, my sister. She can be reckless sometimes. Did she forget why she brought me along on her date in the first place?

“Hey, Yerin. Let’s sit here.” Changkyun sits on a bench facing the lake and pats the empty space next to him.

I smile at him and accepted his little offer.

I rub my arms up and down as I take the seat. Suddenly it gets really chilly. Changkyun immediately takes off his jacket and put it on me.

“You should have this.” He told me.

“Thanks.” I really appreciate it. It’s embarrassing to tell him that I’m cold after being as stupid as wearing a skirt at night.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Will you be okay about our tour?”

His question took me aback, but I completely keep myself composed. “Well, it’s your job, and you have to do it well. Of course I wish you all the best.”

“I’m going to text you everyday.” He grins, which makes him look so adorable that my heart skips a beat.

I laugh. “Sure.”

“When I’m tired and feels bad, I’m going to take out all my complains on you.”

“Go ahead.”

“Don’t you find me annoying?”

“Well, you are. But I don’t mind. Just do whatever you want.”

“Really? I can do whatever I want?”

I nod. It’s the first time he acts sort of childishly. But it’s really cute, and he’s making me like him more.

“Of course. Aren’t you always like that anyway?”

“So I can be your boyfriend too if I want, right?”

Once again, I am taken aback. I didn’t expect him to ask anything like that. I had to take a few moment to completely absorb the hidden meaning behind the question. Is he perhaps feeling the same way as I do about him?

His smile starts to falter. He didn’t look confident just now, and he definitely looks appalled now.

“I guess not,” he laughs nervously. “Did I scare you just now?” He clears his throat. “I was just kidding, heh.”

“Changkyun, I… I actually really like that idea.”

This time, it is his turn looking at me, unblinking, like he didn’t believe what he just heard.

“Wait, what do you mean?”

I smile, hoping that would save me from being more awkward. “Well, I don’t mind at all, really. But if you want us to keep being friends, that’s fine by me too.”

“No!”

His sudden outburst rendered me frozen.

“I-I mean, I want us, uh,” He swallows. He calms down again and reaches for my hand. “Choi Yerin.”

“Yes?”

“I really want to give us a try.”

I nod. “Me too.”

Changkyun leans closer to me and softly plants his lips on mine. The kiss was brief and shy, but I could not get it off my mind. He was so gentle and shy, it was the sweetest moment in my life.

“There’s no turning back now. I’m going to annoy you every single day of your life.” He warns me in a grin.

I laugh a little. “Try me.”

He smiles, and I thought he looks so handsome that night. My heart agreed, because it never calmed down the whole time I am with him.

Soorin, who was standing in the distant, watching the new young couple from their behind, looked at Hyunwoo with a large grin on her face.

“I guess everything worked out?”

Hyunwoo shrugged and then smile. “Let’s wait a little bit more.”

“I agree.” Soorin let Hyunwoo wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him. She sighed in content as she leaned her head on his shoulder.