“Seriously hyung, another one?”

 

It’s 3am and the light from Jihoons’ bedroom shot its way into the corridor -  bouncing off the walls, the floor, Taeils’ solemn expression and the cling wrap bound tightly around his neck.

 

“Go back to bed Jihoon, I’ll show it to you tomorrow morning.”

 

Taeil hushes the younger boy to his room and makes his way to the couch, albeit with much effort. He reaches for the armrest and settles himself down, away from the blinding gaze Jihoon was giving.

 

He bends over to undo his boots when it hits him hard first in the abdomen and soon to the throat. He gags a little before reaching to get the damn napkins which were a little too damn far from his damn arms. Jihoon rushes almost instinctively over to get him the tissues he needed when he took in a whiff of whatever soju his favourite hyung had been having. His dark brown eyes turned a shade of anger as he tilted his face up, scrutinizing Taeil’s face for any signs of consciousness left in him. His trembling fingers trying to make their way up to touch the product of Taeil’s impulse (or inanity) – like how he has been trying to make sense of Taeil’s obscure behaviors as of late.

 

His favourite hyung has made some stupid decisions in the past. For example, walking out of the studio mid-recording just as Jiho finished his 5-minute criticism of Taeil’s lack of enthusiasm last week, or getting into his new jeep despite Jihoon and Minhyuk chasing frantically after him.

 

But this time it was different.

 

For the former - apologies could be made, recordings could be rescheduled and bitter feelings would disappear like the seasons. And as Jihoon’s fingers met the cold and warm wrap against Taeil’s skin, the gravity of the situation consumed him. The irreversible and ineradicable traces of what happened tonight were a blazing reminder of the older man’s incalculable movements.

 

No. It wasn’t the passing of seasons that he is used to… but the grip of a winter Jihoon never knew could be this cold.

 

“Why?” Jihoon found a spot next to Taeil, seemingly unfazed by the cloud of alcohol (almost immune) His left hand was on Taeil’s back, rubbing in sympathetic circles, the other trying to outline what could only look like a vague circlet of stars – blurred beneath the layers of protective wrap and the bulge of Taeil’s punctured skin.

 

“Can you just off and go to sleep? I said I’ll explain it to you tomorrow!” At that, Taeil, who had long forgotten about the shoes he still has on, started making his way to the bathroom. One step was all it took to send Jihoon screaming only for a brief second before covering his mouth with both hands so as to not wake the other members up. Taeil realizing what had happened, grabbed Jihoon’s broader shoulders for support as he lifted his shoes off what was going to be a bad bruise in the morning.

 

“Aish Jihoon, I’m really ing sorry. I swear to God I’ll make it u- ”And before Taeil could finish his promise of trying to mend what was already beginning to bruise, Jihoon lept forward to envelope his shorter hyung into an embrace, the pain from his 4^th and last toe still ringing up to his ears.

 

“Tell me why hyung. Please tell me…” At this point, the notable difference in height has Taeil’s head nestled comfortably (almost naturally) against the crook of Jihoon’s neck, with the taller boy’s hands wrapped around his mid-section – the words jumping tensely into his ears.

 

When Jihoon pulled his face back; expecting a reply from Taeil, all he could see was the void that was Taeil’s face. It was a vacuum that consumed the universe of devotion Jihoon had for him and it was this nothingness that petrified him. And within this vacuum, time stood still as Jihoon scrambled to unearth the secrets of Lee Taeil and all that he had yet to discover but not yet understand. But he only found himself swimming – no, drowning, in the abyss of a Taeil he once knew.

 

“. Off.” Was all Taeil could offer. This was all that resonated from his beautiful and alluring voice that usually sent shivers down Jihoon’s spine as the words poured out like two tiny drips of mecury into Jihoon’s heart, huddling together with the remnants of Taeil’s recent reproach towards him, forming a pool of cold liquid metal.

 

And like that, Taeil could feel Jihoon's grip being loosened around him and he began on his original journey to the bathroom, not a visible expression of guilt in sight.

 

Jihoon watched Taeil’s shadow flicker as the intoxicated hyung switched the bathroom lights on. He bit lower lip and started clearing the tissues off the coffee table when he noticed the head of Taeil’s supposed shadow bobbing slightly against the heated floor. He took a small step forward and began to hear a slight whimpering sound, followed by forcefully suppressed but heavy breaths.

 

But before he could turn to the truth,

 

all that’s left was the swinging of his bedroom door, the alcohol in the air and the heaviness of his heart.

 

 

// hi guys i'm new to writing actual fanfics and block b and all the craziness they have to offer. i wrote this as more of a hyung/dongseang relationship rather than an actual pairing but this could be the first and final time >:)

//sorry it had to be so angst - nell caused it

//written and edited in under 2 hours so let me know if there are any weird phrasings