The weather that day was as gloomy as the twenty-nine year old man's mood. He couldn't do anything at all. Questions flooded his mind as he hugged his pillow tightly, not minding the damp feeling caused by his tears. It has only been three days since the break up. He wasn't quite sure whether he did the right thing or not. Was he regretting it? No? Maybe? Yes? He doesn't know. What he knows for sure is that he loves his ex-boyfriend very much. How he would sacrifice anything to be with him again; to hold his small but soft hands, to feel the warmth he usually felt every morning when he woke up, or to see the small smile that forms in his lips whenever he does a sweet gesture. But what he needs now is someone to make him feel alright; to hold his hands in a way that he'd feel safe, to feel the warmth he is longing for, to smile again without any pain in his chest.

He was desperate. His mind and heart was torn between getting back with his ex or to move on. 

He took his phone which was lying beside his head pillow. Staring at the black screen, he let out a long sigh of disappointment. He was about to put it back when it suddenly vibrated. Not feeling any tiredness, he sat up straight and fastly unlocked his phone. Was this the moment he was waiting for?

"..." the brunette fell back again whilst placing his right arm over his eyes. "I should stop being like this." he muttered as he tossed his phone somewhere in the bed after knowing it was only a notification from his twitter account.

This time he couldn't cry. For two unbearable nights without Jongwoon, he had cried his heart out. He even jokingly thought to himself that he has no more tears left. He screamed to his heart's content, not minding what the neighbors would say. Those two nights were the worst. The bed that looked so small for the two of them felt a little bigger now. He was so emotionally unstable for he felt so many emotions. He doesn't know if he was angry at Jongwoon for leaving or if he was angry at himself for holding on. Unproductive, loss of appetite, signs of laziness- those were only a few of what he has become since the break up.

'First, you think the worst is a broken heart. What's gonna kill you is the second part. 

He needed company- his company. But Kyuhyun knew that the possibility of him coming back is as low as a