December 2011

When the last word slip through his lips, his fingers rest on the keyboard. His eyes are closed, focused on the source of his pain. Remembering her scent. Her face. Her smile.

“Wow..” his hyung whispers.

Young bae was startled. He forgot there was someone else in the studio. He opens his eyes, and turns towards him with a smirk.

“That was beautiful.”

Young bae nodded, and he looks towards the keyboard. He remembers how her fingers moved fluidly through the keys, how her eyes were always closed, how she always looked at peace when music streamed through the piano.

And he remembers how she always found time to play on the piano.

No matter where they were, what time it was, she had to play.

And he understood it. It was her first love.

And now it was his.

“So,” his hyung said, getting up from the chair, “youtube? Do you have an account?”

--

Later that night..

He played his video laying in bed.

Making sure each word, each note, was perfect.

It amazed him how one song could cultivate him. That song was his obsession. He couldn’t stop playing it, he couldn’t stop thinking about it, he couldn’t go a second without it.

He misses her.

And it’s been years.

Shouldn’t things like this get better with time?

“I miss you,” he whispers to himself. 

He closed his eyes, allowing a tear to stream down his face. And instantly, he sees her face. She’s there, saying I love you.

“I love you too.”

--

Jan 2012

He’s used to waking up alone, but since last month, each day has been harder. It’s 837am, and he’s been awake for over 3 hours.

His body is stretched across the bed, with the song playing softly and his mind is stuck. Stuck at how to overcome problem. This problem that his heart created.

He’s massaging his head. His eyes closed, and his lips pressed.

“This is ridiculous.”

--

Mid February 2012

“I still can’t believe you did that,” Jiyong says, pacing back and forth in Young-bae’s room. “You got balls.”

Young bae hasn’t taken his eyes off the floor.

“Did she know it was you?”

Young bae shook his head, before crashing against his bed.

“Huh, interesting.”

--

Later that day.. (on youtube)

After all these years.

Daaaaaaaani  3 hours ago

--

Earlier that day..

The door opens, and their eyes meet. And she smiles, like usual.

“John, you came early. I wasn’t expecting mail til later this evening,” she cheered, her hands reaching out towards him.

He’s thankful she can’t see how distraut he’s been.

He’s thankful she can’t see his regret.

He’s thankful she doesn’t know it’s him.

She can't see how stupid he feels, and how breathtaking she looks.

How could she be more beautiful?

“Dani,” he whispered, stepping closer to her.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry,” he said under his breath before taking a step back.

Looking back, he sees her grab her cane before taking a step out the door. And within seconds, she finds the package he left for her. She ran her finger over the writing,

She's still forgiving.

--

March 2012

Forcing himself out of bed at 7am isn’t something he’s happy about, but he has to train.

Grabbing a sweater from the outside closet with Boss' leash in hand, he stopped everything when he opens his door.

“Dani?”

"Hey, Bae."