how i wish, fin.
how i wishTo my dearest Jeonghan,
I received your wedding invitation, and hey! As your best friend since we were both six years old and innocent, I am more than glad for the both of you. Of course, the kid I used to make sand castles with is now going to be committed to another person now– who accepts and embraces all of your flaws and imperfections, and loves you more than anything else in this world. I still believe I was the first person to do that though, as your best friend and your partner-in-crime, am I right? Tell me I am. Haha, okay but kidding aside, I can bet you ten gallons of mint chocolate chip ice cream that I, Joshua Hong, is going to wear the brightest smile among all of your guests.
Wow, I cannot believe it's been twenty years now since I saw you crying because you couldn't see and move your right leg, which was apparently burried by a bunch of bully kids in the sand when we were still little! Oh, I could never forget that time. I thought someone cut your leg too at first, until I realized there was no blood. And I remember my mother telling me how much I should be careful because if I'm clumsy and reckless, I'll see blood. And that means something bad is happening. I couldn't see them in your leg, so I thought you weren't in such a horrible situation after all. Who knew we'd share our lives with each other as we grow up in the future though?
Allow me to be a bit nostalgic in this letter for a few paragraphs, okay? I know how much you want to see me being all soft towards our friendship, so yeah, after all those years of waiting, I'm granting the wish of that twelve-year-old Jeonghan who wrote me letters every night when I went to the states for a short vacation now. Do you remember that? You sent me a thousand words yet I could only reply back with a hundred or two, making you sulky because you thought I don't appreciate them that much. You know how hard it is for me to express myself using words but still, you wanted me to say more to you. That was the kind side of you, the one you killed when we were fifteen.
Hahaha, kidding! But you did start to get fond of making fun of me when we were fifteen though, putting tons of your mother's make up on my poor angelic face as I fall asleep after having a movie marathon with you. That time, I pretended to be mad at you and gave you the silent treatment– you ended baking soft cookies for me and making me a glass of warm milk, trying to make me finally notice you again. You know how much I can't resist my bestfriend, though? I can't believe you thought that was our first actual fight. I won't get mad over a small thing! Or maybe I will. Hahaha! Kidding again. Those were some fresh memories huh.
Ten years from now, will you still consider me as your bestfriend? We've been watching each other's backs for two decades now, but after getting married, I know you won't be that free anymore to spend time with me like you used to but it's okay. I totally understand. But wait, can't you believe that we're already twenty-six? Wow, and your wish really came true huh– you're getting married at the age of 26. I feel like I want to just spend time alone, tell me things about your married life too in the future so I can think about it first before trying. Hahaha! Jk, I know the two of you will have an amazing life together. I know you both love each other so much.
I am correct, right? I should be, because if not, you know I will still always be one message or one call away! If you get into fights and want someone to talk to, don't forget about me. Is that clear, Yoon Jeonghan? Our should I say, future Choi? Always remember that okay. Good luck on your wedding preparations! I wish I could help and check things out with you, or even hang out with you on your last days of being an unmarried person. But I'm still stuck in LA because of some sort of problem in our company, and I can only be there on the exact day of your wedding. You know I can't let myself miss such an event, a truly special and life-changing one.
This ends here, I guess. See you in a few weeks! Please be happy with him... I miss you, best friend.
Joshua
Letting out a deep sigh, the twenty-six-year-old Joshua Hong closed his eyes as he finishes off his letter. The fakest letter he has ever written in his entire life, as he calls it. He wants to be happy for his bestfriend though, it would be selfish for him to not be. But thinking of all the selfless sacrifices he has made during the past years just to make his bestfriend happy even if it means taking away his own happiness, Joshua just let himself be selfish this time. The only part of the letter that was close to reality, aside from the part he reminisced, was the final part, which wasn't even a hundred percent true; Joshua had no plans of showing up in the wedding.
But reading his letter, there was so much more to add. He couldn't include the most memorable memories he won't be able to forget though– like when he felt his heart beat going faster when he saw Jeonghan crying for help when they were six, how he started noticing how he feels different whenever he was with Jeonghan when they were twelve, and of course, how he discovered he was inlove with his bestfriend back when they were still fifteen, young free and pure. Those were some of the things he wished he could write, as if it was that easy to drop a sudden confession like that.
And booking a flight back to Seoul was like digging his own grave, seeing the love of your life finally getting officially committed to another person is just too painful to watch. Joshua broke his heart a lot of times in the past already, all because of his hopeless feelings for his bestfriend. He just wants to let this one pass, he's no superman. He breaks down and cries his heart out occasionally too like any other human. Falling inlove with his bestfriend was the biggest mistake he has ever done, and maybe the biggest mistake he could never learn from too. Because he knows that even after years, he would still be a fool for the sake of his bestfriend, he would still be inlove with Yoon Jeonghan.
The angel who broke his heart a million times.
“Would you like me to send that letter tomorrow for you, hyung?” Joshua turns his gaze to the owner of the voice, it was Hansol.
He shook his head.
“You know they won't let you out of that hospital bed, you'll be getting your final operation tomorrow.” Hansol adds, sitting beside the older male.
“I've experience too much pain in the past already, that won't hurt anymore.” Joshua assures.
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