Chapter 1: The song

-Hong Lim's POV

Will you leave me?

How do I live without you?.

If you leave me now

I wish to keep you from leaving

Will you not return If I looked sad?...

The Queen's singing danced around like a wind caressing my pitiful soul. The sun shone brightly against the green lake adorned by waterlilies. None could be matched to her blinding radiant aura right now.

Our young Queen. The one who came to our Goryeo as a little princess had grown into this great ruler.

This song. How long ago did I hear it?

Why does it sound so vaguely nostalgic?

What is this overwhelming feeling that no word could describe?

For a moment, all I could see is the sight of her dainty fingers strumming the strings and the way she lost herself to her song.

It was like a far-away dream that I had long forgotten.

It was a little secret I used to share with her Majesty long long ago. It's so long that I don't remember if it was real or just a dream. A little memory that she might no longer know if it existed. It wouldn't matter if she cared. After all, I'm a corrupted servant who stole her husband.

But right now, the memory that we both tried to forget is all coming back to me so vividly.

Fragments of my childhood.

It seems like just yesterday.

Do you remember?

-flashback-

10 years ago

"Hey... what's your name?"

"It's Hong Lim, Milady!"

Hearing the young boy's answer, she frowned.

"Would you mind if I let you call me by name? We seemed to be the same age"

"Forgive me, Milady. Your highness is Princess of Yuan, our future Queen." He freaked out "I served the King and so I can't do such disrespectful thing!"

"Princess, Highness, Queen. That's all I'm hearing these days. I'm so sick of it!" She pouted. "I just want to make friends"

"Forgive me, Princess!" He bowed

"There is no one around. Why don't you just call my name once?" She suggested "It's Hyo Jin. My closest maid called me that when there's only two of us"

"But I..."

"No but. It's an order!" She smiled "Let's be friends, Hong Lim! The King is always busy to play with me. I had no one to talk to since I came to the palace"

Maybe it was the tinge of sadness in her eyes that made him give in.

"Princess...Hyo...Hyo Jin" He stuttered clumsily.

"Idiot. Just Hyo Jin. No one would hear you but me." She playfully grinned.

"Hyo..Jin" He said almost like a whisper.

"Yay! Finally I made a new friend. Teehee!" She chirped. And he must admit that it's too adorable for a high and mighty princess of Yuan.

He bet he must be smiling unconsciously by now. She's just a little girl and he's no better.

"Say , Hong Lim. Would you like to hear me sing? It's been a long time I didn't sing"

"That would be impossible. Your beautiful voice is for the King and only him. I can't possibly..."

"Oh..." She immediately lost her excitement. "Right. I'm still just a princess to everyone here..."

Such a lonely expression that she made

He knew that feeling.

In this palace, everyone is to act accordingly to their titles. There is no exception.

No one has the liberty of choice. She''ll always be a princess and he'll never stop serving her. They can't be friends.

He already called this royal palace his home and dying for the King his life purpose. He can't pursue any other life because the King had rescued and gave him this life. It's an oath that he'd stick to until the end and die for the honor of serving the great King. He would do nothing that's beyond his devotion.

He suppressed his loneliness so long that he didn't know he's capable of feeling it. All she did was a simple confession and it all came flooding to him. Such an overwhelming loneliness... He knew he lost his will now.

"In that case, if we can keep this a secret, I think there's no problem. Please grant me the honor of hearing your magnificient singing!" He bowed even lower.

When he raised his head to look at her, she seemed oddly taken by surprise.

"Err... Princess Hyo Jin?"

His voice pulled her out of her trance. She looked at him, eyes full of happiness.

"Thank you!" The words finally left her lips.

"Why?" He was confused

"For willing to spend time with me."

Her eyes were lively and innocent but so lonely.

For a second, he forgot to breathe.

Like a secret force, the things she said, the songs she sang and the way she looked that day slowly crept into his mind and burned into the depth of his very soul.

It became a part of him for all those years.

…

5 years later.

-Hong Lim's POV-

"Hey. Isn't the Queen stunning today?"

"Sure does! As expected of our King's mate"

Chatters of everyone in the palace are going about. Everyone is busy watching the wedding ceremony of princess Hyo Jin and our King right now. Today is the day the royal couple officially come to be at age of marriage. They're making their vows in front of all the citizens.

My eyes fixed on both of them. The King remained emotionless as always but our new Queen seemed so happy. It's her big day, her dream's come true.

I got a little tipsy from all the drinking and dancing so I decided to leave the party for fresh air.

My feet led me to the palace garden. Somehow I stopped at the usual lake of beautiful waterlilies at the North.

Ah. It's right here.

I don't know why but whenever I need some air I would unconsciously visit this place. I've been here many many times to accompany her when she sings. Somewhere along the way, it became my habit to calm my soul here.

"Found you."

I knew that cheery voice. It's gotta be her. I turned to the direction of the voice.

"Your Highness… No, your Majesty!" I greeted her

"Hyo Jin. Don't tell me you forgot our rule not to call me that when we're alone?!"

"My apologies, Hyo Jin."

"Right. Can't believe I still have to remind you of that after all these years."

She gave me a brilliant smile.

I quietly observed her.

The little princess that I knew had bloomed into a woman at her glorious 15.

Her makeup and hairdo is perfect. She looks flawless under the moonlight.

"You're happy." The words escaped my lips like an awkward statement before I knew it.

She looked at me with wide eyes for a moment and immediately looked down shyly with flushed cheeks.

That's right. She likes him. It's only natural to harbor crush for a brilliant man like our King. 

"Stop teasing me. Or I'll get mad you know!" She said.

"Aren't you going to the King's chamber now?" I said, not wanting to keep troubling her but at the same time I want Hyo Jin to stay just a little longer. "My King may be worry over your absence."

"Yeah. I've gotta go now"

Somehow I regret what I suggested. I longingly searched for her gaze.

"Thanks, Hong Lim! For always supporting me so that I could make it this far." She looked at me and I saw endless moonlit in the depth of her eyes. "Promise me one thing."

I raised a questioning eye.

"Never stop being my friend!"

And she gave me the brightest smile, like a graceful waterlily blooming under the tender moonlight.

"Anything for you, Queen Hyo Jin."

Then she left swiftly like the wind. For many years after, I still remember the sight of her small back as she left me that evening.

Every time I think of it, I was reminded what an empty promise I made!

Because that very same night, the King sorrowfully confessed his feelings to me at my bed side. That fateful night, my Queen was left alone at his chamber. That fateful night, he asked me to be with him and only him.

That fateful night, I truly came to realize that I'll never have the liberty of choice to make a promise to anyone. My very existence is to serve my King, my savior, my true ruler. I vowed to give him everything he wants, even if it's my soul and body.

That fateful night, I let go of my childhood friend because from then on, I'd break her heart in many ways.

I don't deserve to hear her sing anymore.