Jiyeon's POV

Her gleaming, amber eyes seemed to penetrate through my frozen body as I stared up at her, regretting every single damn word I just spat out. Hwayoung and Boram were still sharing earphones, listening to whatever music swam through their ears. Eunjung was still slurping on her ramen, naturally curious about everything going on in this hectic lunch table. Hyomin pretended to be interested in every aspect of her old phone, although I knew she was listening to what was going to happen next, while Soyeon stayed silent, her head going back-and-forth between me and Lee Taemin's girlfriend.

As for me? I was slightly cowering under Lee Qri's steady, hard-to-read gaze. It was either she was pissed, weirded out, or just wishing for an answer so that she can get rid of her confusion and just eat. So...

“I-I mean, not anymore, at least,” I quietly stammered, lowering my head to hopefully show more respect to the gorgeous [and slightly scary] upper-class-girl. Just how did Taemin oppa woo her heart so well back in CV?

“Qri, I invited her here, along with Sunyoung – I mean, Hyomin,” Soyeon spoke, slightly shrinking away from Hyomin's sudden glare. Hmm, I wonder what was up with that...

And...is Qri even her actual name?

“Oh. I see,” Qri mumbled in a surprisingly deep voice, before she smoothly slid over onto Soyeon's other side. Glancing at my watch, I realized that I only had five more minutes to stay before I had to hang out at his area, to talk with him and HyunA and meet new people, again.

I didn't know whether to be happy or not.

"Yah, hoobaes! Are you ignoring me?" Qri called out to Hwayoung and Boram, grinning. Upon hearing her voice, they instantly looked towards her and smiled back, starting up a happy chatter. Watching that, I couldn't help but feel a bit hurt, even if Eunjung, Hyomin, and Soyeon started up random conversation with me.

Because after that, Qri even moved onto being chill with Hyomin [Sunyoung (?)] and Soyeon, and even played around with Eunjung, who now that I thought about it, started to seem a bit familiar...

Before I could put my finger on it, though, it was finally time for me to go.

"Where are you headed, Pretty Girl?" Soyeon instantly asked, seeing me rise up from my seat.

"Bored?" Hyomin asked, rather gently.

All of a sudden, the familar guilt sickness infected my mind, making me assure them the best I could that, "No, everything's fine," and "I just have to go meet...Seung-Ho, and...his friend HyunA, and stuff, but really, I'm fine."

Yeah, I'm fine...right?

"Alright then...See you at the lockers, Jiyeon!" the two chorused, smiling. I let out a smile myself before giving a final wave to those two, and even Eunjung, before leaving. I remember, right before leaving though, accidentally looking right into Qri's eyes and catching her steady, hard-to-read gaze again. Feeling stiff, I quickly turned around, trying to not feel lonely again look at Hwayoung and Boram before finally leaving the third floor and going one floor up to meet my "boyfriend."

~*

Seung-Ho's POV

"Oppa where is she?" Ga-In noona asked, chewing on her peppermint gum.

"Yeah, you said she would come ten minutes prior, didn't you?" Kwon hyung asked, slightly confused.

"Well, she is hanging out with the kkang-pae girls from Diadem," Tiffany noona shrugged, slurping on her vodka water. "What would you expect?"

"Guys, just wait," I quietly commented, remembering with a pang how Jiyeon hated to be rumored or talked about. "There's still eleven minutes before lunch ends anyways..."

"Well, if you say so," Sunye noona replied, resuming back to her makeup. I sighed and mentally begged Yeon to show up...

...when finally, exactly ten seconds later I started to see an all-too familiar looking girl slowly come walking here, shyly brushing her hair with her hands or fidgeting with her fingers the whole way.

"There she is!" HyunA noona cheered from beside me, pointing happily towards Jiyeon. Sure, her face was cast down out of shyness, but she always did that when she first met new people; eventually, [I hoped] she would get used to this whole school in general.

"Wahh, she's so cute!" Jia noona chirped, grinning as she stood up for a better look.

"Hmm, not bad," Tiffany said, before she leaned into Wooyoung hyung's ear to whisper something.

"She's prettier than I thought she'd be," Yoseob hyung said, giving me a nudge.

"And what is that supposed to mean!?" I demanded, laughing.

"Nothing, oppa, he didn't mean it," Ji-Eun noona cut in, glaring ar her boyfriend.

"Um, o-oppa," Jiyeon stammered as she quietly - and suddenly - sat herself down next to me. She always did move like a shadow...

"Ahnyoung, Jiyeon," I softly said, her hair. Responding to the familiar touch she instantly relaxed, which somehow made me feel even more comfortable than even she did. But, at the same time I knew she felt terribly, insanely awkward under all my hyungs/noonas/gal friends/guy friends all staring at her, taking every one of her features in like she's some new museum spectacle.

"Hey, Jiyeon! Do you remember me?" HyunA sang, waving happily. To my relief, Jiyeon slightly laughed as she nodded and waved back, before she said quietly, "I do, unnie...Thanks for the headband, by the way."

Calling her unnie already? I thought happily. She only called very special, particular people close to her heart the name "unnie."

"Whoa, you gave her the headband?" Tiffany asked, looking surprised. Everyone else stayed silent, but looked interested as their eyes darted from Jiyeon to Tiffany.

"Yeah, why?" HyunA asked, confused.

"I thought Joon oppa gave you that," she bluntly said, giving Jiyeon a quick glance that made her shrink away a bit under my arm.

"Yeah, I did, but who gives a damn, Fany? It's a good welcoming gift, and that's all that matters," Joon hyung commented, smiling warmly towards Yeon. Yeon quietly laughed and bowed in thanks, while Tiffany noona shrugged and perfectly aimed her vodka glass away into the crystal trashcan nearby. From the way Jiyeon stiffened, I knew she already realized it was vodka and therefore whispered, "Wae, Yeon-ah?"

"No, nothing," she mumbled back, before she looked towards Lee Joon and said, "Thanks for the headband too, Lee Joon-ssi..."

Joon hyung grinned and said, "No problem." And somehow, those two word led to a whole chorus of introductions, varying from a casual, "Tiffany Hwang," to "Ahnyoung, I'm Ji-Eun Lee! But call me IU, 'kay? My name's so boring."

By the end of the charm bell, she knew everyone's names 100%, her perfect memory never getting old.

"See ya afterschool, cutie!" Jia and Sunye noona called out, as they headed the opposite way towards singing class. Jiyeon giggled and waved bye cheerfully, reminding me a bit of her old self back in CVHS. Good to see she was slowly returning back, at least for now...

“Hey, Jiyeon! Wanna go shopping with me afterschool? I got my latest Platinum credit card!” IU cheerfully cried out, catching up with her and me. Just behind her, though, with a pang in my stomach I witnessed Tiffany noona slightly rolling her eyes before she followed Wooyoung hyung out of the cafeteria.

I knew that look...I just hoped I was wrong.

“Shopping?” Jiyeon questioned, surprised. But I secretly smiled in amusement, for I instantly noticed the new spark in her eyes. No matter how badly her family may have treated her, or no matter how little allowance she received due to their financial problems...Jiyeon loved shopping. She couldn’t even stand just eye-shopping; the only time she kept her excitement in was when her sister was there, witnessing her every move.

“Yeah, that sounds like a damn good idea,” HyunA noona commented, giving all of us a wink before walking away. I shook my head with silent laughter, grateful but amused at how much HyunA loved Jiyeon like a sister.

“I-Is it okay?” she stammered, looking hopeful. IU’s eyes went wide as she replied, “Definitely, sweetie! Seung-Ho oppa can come too, since he’s your ride. Oh, and, and Yoseob oppa can come too! It can be a double date! Oh wait, no, that’ll be awkward on your first day here. Hmm, then maybe – “

And on and on she went, even if Yoseob hyung joined her and they walked ahead of me and Jiyeon, the four of us all holding hands with our loved ones.

“T-They’re really nice..." Jiyeon stammered shyly, smiling so unlike when she first came to the cafeteria, yet alone met me in the morning. I really, really hope this lasts... “They're nicer than I thought they would be, especially HyunA and...IU unnie,” she continued.

I planted a small kiss on her soft hair, before asking gently, “Yeah? I'm glad...How about...Diadem?”

“Who?” she asked with confused eyes, glancing up at me.

Now it was my turn to be confused.

“You didn't hang out with Diadem?”

“Who’s Diadem?”

I hesitated a bit, before telling her, “The girls you hung out with earlier today...You know, Hyomin and Soyeon Park?”

“Oh..." she said. “Well, they have names, don't they? Why are they called as if they're one group?”

“...'Cause they’re the worst kkang-pae girls here,” I slowly spoke. “That's the name they designed for themselves. Honestly, though, they're not anything close related to something like a sparkling diadem or tiara...”

Jiyeon didn't say anything, so I went on, much against my will, “When you first bumped into them this morning...nearly everyone expected you to get beaten up, until Joon hyung noticed that they actually helped you up.”

“So basically I'm the odd one out?” she bluntly stated. Then, she whispered, so quietly that even I could barely hear –

“Again?”

My heart crunched at hearing the last word...but I tried my best to hide it as I said, gripping my hand tighter around hers, “Don't think that way, Yeon-ah. That's one reason I invited you to my friends too, so that rather than feeling limited and stuck and, like you say 'the odd one out,' you – “

“I know, oppa, and I'm really grateful that you showed me to them,” she said, sounding genuine. “But then...This reminds me of Jinli dongseng, back in elementary when...she made me decide if I wanted to be with her and her "popular clique” or if I wanted to be with Sohee and her two other friends, Namjoo and Bomi..."

“And ever since then, you always had to choose friends?” I finished off for her. She nodded quietly as we, together, arrived to fifth period, which was her most favorite subject back at CVHS – Yearbook.

“But stop thinking you have to choose, Yeon-ah; just accept all of them.”

“Yeah but would you be comfortable having to go from one table to the next all the time? Or telling IU and HyunA unnie that I can’t go to this or that just because they don’t like Diadem and...Diadem doesn't like them? It's starting to be as if I've never even ran away in the first place."

The question left me stumped as the teacher – Dr. Landisi – opened up the huge, heavy oak door and hastily gestured us in, because by then the bell already rang its charm throughout the school estate. Without another word Jiyeon and I went in, releasing our hands only once we went to our respective seats.

You can call her ungrateful and all, but one look Jiyeon's freshly sullen face and I knew exactly how she felt –

She hated choosing. Mostly because she was afraid of disappointments and failures, but...due to “certain events” sometimes she had a hard time just trusting herself. That was why in the past I had to lead her through a lot of things myself; she needs someone to tell her how to do the simplest things sometimes.

But more than that, she hated the fact that her most treasured friends were always so separate, causing her to suffer with the consequences as she would always move from one group to another. Often times because of that, she would miss out on certain things or lose a just-starting friendship with someone else, making her even more disappointed. It's true, it happened ever since her best friend Choi Jinli, a.k.a. Sulli, befriended Park Chorong and her clique, creating a fine line between tomboy, good-natured Ahn Sohee and fashionable, snobby Park Chorong.

Something I probably will never experience now that I “have it all” as some people say – girlfriend, friends, clothes, money, a nice house, et al...

But honestly, who can ever “have it all” in such a world as this?

~*

Blog Post 14

By: Mr_Nostalgic

I wonder how she’s doing, and I wonder if she’ll ever care to notice what she’s doing to herself.

She probably will never know that I’m caring about her in this way, because she guards her heart so much.

Just what can I do to help her?

Before my own time runs out...