A/N: There may be some triggers of things like anxiety, phobias and stuff like that, so if you're uncomfortable reading about things like these I suggest you skip reading this one shot and perhaps wait till I write another ^-^
also it will be written off of the 'RIGHT NOW ep. 6', but I will also add my own twist to it, so if you watch the episode you will notice not everything I write in this is in the episode etc etc.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Hoseok could feel the shakes of the elevator, as it made its way up through the building. The building Hoseok and Kihyun would soon be jumping off of. The thought made another round of anxiety chills curse its way through Hoseok's body, as he sat on the floor, gripping the hands of two of his fellow band members. He felt his breath shorten by a bit as they came closer to the top.

''This is it,'' Hoseok thought, as he looked out of the windows, which disappeared as quickly as they had popped up from behind the thick, stone walls, ''233 metres.''

It was in situations like this, where a stupid phobia like acrophobia, could make the life as an idol a bit harder than it needed to be. 
Just because of a reality show, he was now sitting here, almost at the top of the Macau Tower, place of the world's highest bungee jump, at 233 metres not many people would blame Hoseok for being scared. But Hoseok wasn't just scared, if only it was so simple. He was terrified, anxious, panic-struck and everything in between.

''Are you okay?'' He heard Hyunwoo say, but the blood pumping through Hoseok's ears made the older's voice seem further away than it could physically be in this cramped elevator. Hoseok did manage to catch the few words anyway and quickly put on his brave face, though he didn't let go of the hands that were held tight in his grasp.

''I'm fine hyung, like I said in the lobby, it just feels a bit weird but it will be fine after one time,'' Hoseok said, in what he tried to make sound like a brave voice, but it came out sounding uncertain, like he was trying to convince himself, more so than the leader, who was still looking down on him with worried eyes. 

''We're almost there Wonho-hyung,'' Changkyun said, looking at his hyung on the floor.

''Just one more floor,'' the maknae said, as the number on the wall changed to 60.

He felt bad for Hoseok, that the older had to do this, even though all of them knew about his phobia. He couldn't help but feel like they were crossing the line a little. It's just a stupid game, for God's sake.

When the elevator reached the top floor, Hyunwoo and Changkyun pulled Hoseok up off the floor. Hoseok dusted his jeans off, with shaky hands, breathed deeply in and out, trying to take the top off his nerves. The least he wanted was to get his breath under control, so he wouldn't seem weak in front of s and his fans.

When they were finally out of the elevator, there was a short hallway before the big lounge, with glasswalls, so you could see the view.
Hoseok barely stepped into the lounge before he fell to his knees, yelling out of pure anxiety, as soon as he saw how high up they really were. 

He quickly got himself together, got up again and started laughing, almost maniacally, his last defense before he would start crying. The members laughed a little, trying to make Hoseok less uncomfortable. Trying to imagine what he must be going through, was seemingly impossible for the other boys.

Going through the lounge, getting the instructions and waiting to go outside felt like hours upon hours of endless waiting and waddling around. 

''We have to jump like this,'' Changkyun said, pointing at a mannequin, that was turned upside down, with the hand that was not holding Hoseok's.

After what felt like even more hours of waiting, the time came where Hoseok had to get ready to jump. 

He could feel his legs about to give in as he walked towards the platform. A large machine next to the door made a loud noise, startling Hoseok, senses already working to the fullest with his body shaking with anxiety and dread.

When they reached the door, Hoseok felt lightheaded, tired and scared. No, scratch that. He felt terrified. He felt as if the ground could disappear from under his feet at any second. 

He finally got to the platform, the wind blowing in his hair, the view without glass to protect him and the feeling of the cold air against his burning skin, made the situation seem much more real.

He started to take steps towards the chair, where the bungee cords would be attached. When he was about halfway there, his knees finally gave out under him.

As the other members saw Hoseok fall to the ground, they were all left a bit shocked and concerned, though they of course couldn't show it as much as they would have like, because the cameras were still rolling.

After a couple of seconds, or minutes, Hoseok wasn't really sure, he got up. Breathing harder and faster than normally, Hoseok started to feel even more lightheaded, the anxiety running through his veins.
Hyunwoo could tell the anxiety was getting the best of the younger, and decided to step in and try to calm the vocalist down. The leader remembered some tricks he had learned when he was younger, to try to get the breathing under control.

''Hoseok-ah, look breathe like me and do this, okay?'' Hyunwoo said, showing what he wanted Hoseok to do.

A minute later, Hoseok had calmed down enough to take the last steps to the chair. His steps careful and small, legs wobbly and knees bent, he took the last few steps.
As he reached the chair, he felt like he had used all of the energy he had left, walking those few steps.

The placement of the chair was close to the end of the platform, and when you sat down you could look out over Macau. For every normal person this would have been enjoyed to the fullest, the beautiful view was almost breathtaking. If it wasn't for the anxiety filled thoughts running through Hoseok's head at 100 km/h, maybe he would have been able to enjoy it too. If it wasn't for the stupid phobia.

As he sat down in the chair, he realized how close he was to when he had to jump. The thought of jumping, free fall, 233 metres, in a matter of minutes, was what did it for Hoseok. He broke down. The tears quickly filling his eyes as he sat there, broken sobs working their way through his mouth.

When all the chords were attached, Hoseok was still crying, tears streaming down his face.
From then on, up until he had to get up and go to the last bit of the platform, when by as a bit of a blur. He didn't remember anything other than the muffled noises of his own screams.

He was brought back to reality when he felt the staff member, drying his eyes and cheeks with a tissue.

''Okay, let's go!'' said the staff member, as if it was the easiest thing to do. Hoseok internally scoffed at the thought, as he slowly got up and out of the chair, his limbs aching from being constantly tense.

He could barely hear s talking to him.

After not too long, but what in Hoseok's head felt like hours, and a bit of struggle he found himself on the edge of the platform. He did not dare to look down, his acrophobia would probably cause him to pass out if he did.

As he stood on the edge, arms spread out wide and mind a complete mess, he quickly forced out an I love you, for the members, the fans and his family, before the final countdown.

''Five,'' This is it.

''Four,'' I'm going to do it.

''Three,'' For Monsta X.

''Two,'' And Monbebe.

''One,'' And to let go of my fear.

And the leaned forwards, just enough so he would fall gently off the edge.

He felt like he was flying, he screamed, whether of happiness or fear, he wasn't sure. But he did it. He did the bungee jump. An idol with acrophobia did the world's tallest bungee jump, in Macau, China.

He felt the adrenaline race through his body, even as he finally hit the mattress, where another employee would take off the chords and the safety harness. His knees were weak and all energy had left his body, but still he couldn't help but feel amazing as he thought back on what he just did. Not that he would do it again.

With assistance from the employee Hoseok finally made his way to the ground. He walked over to the banister with a view over the sea. He felt completely drained, but so, so satisfied at the same time. And relieved that he even made it out alive.

As he saw Hyunwoo do his jump, he was honestly a bit surprised over how little time it took. It felt like hours when it was himself.

The four members who did not have to do the jump, came down to watch Kihyun do his jump.
As they stood there, the six members waiting for the vocalist to come down, Changkyun went over to Hoseok.

''You did good Hoseok-hyung,'' The maknae said, and patted Hoseok on the back, 
''I didn't even expect you to do it, after seeing what you were like in the elevator.''

''Yeah, but I needed it done, you know?'' Hoseok asked, breath still a bit heavy,
''I did it for Monsta X, I needed to show that no silly phobia can hold me back, I just have to fight a bit for it,'' 

When the filming for the last episode of ''MONSTA X RIGHT NOW!'' had ended, they all decided to go eat dinner at a restaurant of Hoseok's choice. Of course they had ramyun that night, but seeing Hoseok's face light up, as he tried to explain the feeling, he got on the way down in the bungee jump, the members all thought the ramyun tasted a bit better that night.