(A/N)

Inspired by true events (that may or may not have happened during my lifetime) which I personally find very awkward and hilarious

Without further ado~

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It is a fine Saturday morning in the BTS dorm. They boys have a day off today and decided to spend it relaxing at home.

They were all situated at the living area. Namjoon is writing new lyrics for a song on the coffee table in the middle of the room, Hoseok is busy playing colour switch on his phone (and would grumble audibly whenever he lost), Jin was eating while watching Disney movies in front of the TV, and finally, Yoongi was, of course, sleeping on the couch.

The boys were just playing and lounging about in peace; until it as broken when they heard a noise coming from the bathroom across the living room.

Ahh~

…

If they were not mistaken, that distinct noise almost sounded like a moan.

Namjoon froze and looked around at his fellow members. As expected, Yoongi is still asleep on the couch. He looked over to Jin and Hoseok only to find the same look of confusion reflected on their faces. The three stared at each other in silence. It’s only then when Namjoon realized that the maknae line was nowhere to be seen.

Again, another sound came out from behind the bathroom door. Only this time, it sounded like something thumped against the wall hard. This was then followed by what sounded like a choked sob.

B with curiosity, Namjoon sneaked his way to the bathroom door. He slowly twisted the knob, trying his hardest not to alarm the occupants of the bathroom, and pushed against the door very slowly.

The door didn’t budge, it was locked. Namjoon cursed under his breath. He was about to kick the door open out of frustration when someone inside the bathroom spoke up.

“Ahh, Jimin-hyung, please stop. I don’t think I can take any more of this” It was Jungkook. Namjoon furrowed his eyebrows and looked over to Hoseok and Jin. They seem to have heard him as well. The leader beckoned for them to come closer to the door. The three hyungs sat silently and placed their ears against the door, listening intently.

More shuffling was heard behind the door. “Jimin-hyung stop it! It hurts” Jungkook spoke up

“Kookie, it’s not even in yet. It will definitely hurt if you keep moving around. Shut up and keep still” A voice which sounded like Jimin said.

“That’s right Kookie-ah” Another person said. It sounded like Taehyung. “Just keep still okay? We’ll get it in you in no time. Now, do you want us to go one by one, or both at the same time?”

Processing what he just heard, Namjoon fell onto his and stared at the bathroom door in horror. Looking back at the leader, Jin had the exact same expression. Hoseok, however, only had a smirk that kept growing every passing second.

“W-w-what are those kids doing in there?” Jin had his hand on his chest. “Namjoon, Hoseok, you don’t think…“

“Yep” Hoseok replied with a hint of amusement “They’re definitely doing each other”

Jin’s eyes widened, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets. “Omo! But Kookie is just a baby. They’re all just babies” Jin said while covering his mouth with both hands “What if they’re not using protection?!?” He whispered not-so-quietly to himself.

“Calm down guys, don’t jump to conclusions” Namjoon spoke up. “I’m sure this is all just a misunderstanding. Do you really think that those kids are having se-“. Namjoon was cut short when a shriek cut through the air.

“Ngghhh, Jimin-hyung!!” Jungkook squeaked

“Argh, Jungkook it was almost in” Jimin complained. “I was close, this close to getting it in you. Stop moving goddamn it, or so help me I’ll hand cuff you to a bedpost”

“Ooohh, someone’s getting ” Hoseok said as he barely tried to hide his laughter. He took out his phone and started the recorder. Good blackmail material He would reason if anyone asked

Namjoon’s eyes widened to the size of saucers as his jaw slackened. Oh my god, they’re actually doing it.

“Those idiots better not get a single drop of filth anywhere in there, I just cleaned the whole damn bathroom yesterday” Namjoon said through his teeth

The commotion the rest of the members made finally woke Yoongi woke up. Normally, he would inflict pain and his wrath upon anyone who wakes him up from his beloved sleep. However, upon opening his eyes, he is immediately greeted with the amusing sight of the three hyungs huddled like penguins behind the door, one looking like he was about to faint, another looking like he was ready to commit murder, and the other laughing and convulsing on the spot silently like a mental asylum patient on crack. Yoongi stood up and walk towards them.

“What are you guys doing?” Yoongi asked.

“Listening to Jimin and Taehyung get some of Jungkook’s puss puss” Hoseok replied monotonously. It was amazing how he said that with a straight face.

“O-kay…” Yoongi said “You know, if you wanted to watch , there’s a thing called the ‘internet’. Isn’t it a little creepy to be listening to them fu-“A crash was heard in the bathroom, followed by a not-so-ma