I stared at his beautiful face as if it was a masterpiece. His eyes were sparkling and were like an ocean drowning me in. His perfect nose was carved deep and it's sides were so great that I can stare into that all day. His lips, oh God, his lips, if only he knew how much I dreamt over that lips, how much it tempts me, how much frustation it has brought me.

Whenever I heared his voice, my knees will wiggle and will get weak that my hands need something to hold onto and that is where his hands slipped in.

He tells me stories and I listen.

He told me I am beautiful, I listened. He told me he's handsome, I listened. He described me and I was shocked by the words he used, it was as if I am an angel came down from the heaven itself, I still keep on listening. He described himself and that is where I got the idea of how beautiful he is by just listening to his solemn words.

In the two years of loneliness I had, he cured me. He never left my side and made me laugh. He was there for me and I was there for him.

"Hyoyeon, hold my hand so you won't slip." He whispered to my ear.

I wondered inside, why would I slip then? Why do I need to hold your hand if I can see the road very clearly?

"Luhan, I'm fine." I assured him these words.

Well, I believe that I am fine. So what's wrong with me? With it?

"Hyoyeon, you're not."

He told me those words and it stopped me from my trance. It keep on replaying on my head over and over again that it makes me so insane.

I am not?

I felt hands on my cheeks and his forehead on mine. He rubbed his thumbs on my skin and breathed words out, "Hyoyeon, please stop." He said out of grief.

What should I stop then? Can't someone please tell me?

"Open your eyes." He told me and I felt his warm breathe over my lips, he pushed his lips to mine and I know that this feeling would remain in my heart for forever.

I followed what he said and opened my eyes. There I saw a total darkness, a darkness that became my world ever since I was born. The darkness conforted me, the darkness became my very first friend. The darkness that smiled at me everytime I did great. That darkness that separates me between the reality to the illusion.

And that is where I realized, that his perfect face was just a mere illusion of mine. That the kiss, the hands, the forehead I felt were all an illusion made by creative mind. I drowned myself inside the illusions I had that I forgot what reality truly was.

And no matter what happens, Luhan will always be my greatest illusion.