Change of Heart

♕ ♚

When the prince entered the castle, it was already after midnight. After all the event of the night, he had spent a few hours in the royal gardens looking down at the city before getting inside.

“Minseok!” his mother exclaimed the moment she saw her son. “Where have you been? Has anything happened to you?!” she hugged him tightly, checking his body for any wounds.

“I’m fine, mama,” the prince mumbled, looking a bit further behind his mother, directly into his father’s eyes. “You can be happy,” he said, “you were right.”

The king rose his eyebrow, confused, “as to what?”

“I can’t take care of myself,” he explained slowly, and both his parents froze, “and it is your fault. I am a weak excuse of a prince, because you made me into such,” he spat, turned around and left for his chambers.

♕ ♚ 

The queen turned around to look at her husband and was met with an expression of terror.

“What happened to him?” she asked quickly.

“I’m afraid something beyond our control. Seems like it’s time to pay for our mistakes, my dear.”

“These were not mistakes! I will not bow down to anything! I did nothing wrong in protecting my child!” she yelled, angry at her husband for constantly suggesting wrongdoings.

“But your child is not a child anymore.”

“He’s the future of this country and my line! He’s my blood and of my dynasty! He will sit on this throne, all flesh and bone! Alive!”

“Honey –“

“Stop it. You’re just like everyone else,” she spat, and the king backed away. “There is no freedom for Minseok. Not like there was for you. He is not like you, my dear. His life is like mine, and the future the crown brings you in not bright. It’s a path of pain, loneliness and walls. Royals don’t get the privileges of commoners! We simply don’t,” she finished and turned to leave, not being able to stand the pain on her husband’s face. She knew she said too much, that he did not deserve it, but he needed to hear it.

♕ ♚ 

Minseok sat on his bed, in a spot of a moonlight creeping into his room through an open window. His hands were shaking, and his throat hurt. He still felt the cold sting of a sword exactly where it touched his skin. His lips trembled and he let out a loud scream.

He was breakable. He was no one.

“Let’s face it, you wouldn’t survive if anything was to happen to you,” the wind brought in Jongdae’s words, and it only made the prince scream louder.

“You fool!” he yelled, “get out of my head!”

But the words wouldn’t leave him. They were on repeat, as if a record broke.

Minseok looked at his hands, so soft and clean. So spotless. He looked at and met his reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall. His complexion was just as soft, spotless, stainless. There was nothing on his face. Even emotions drawn in his dark eyes.

“Who are you?” he asked himself, and then chuckled. The prince stood up, took a walk around his room and stood in front of an old sword hanging on a wall. Something that belonged to his grandfather, one of the best and wisest kings the kingdom has ever had.

He remembered all the times his grandfather would argue with his parents about Minseok, and why he was not getting any schooling in the field of self-defense and weapons. There were not many of such arguments as the old man died when Minseok was seven.

Nevertheless, someone wanted to make him and shape him into a good future king. Minseok frowned, and took a deep breath.

“So be it,” he mumbled and took the sword off the wall.

♕ ♚ 

When morning came, Minseok made his way out of the chambers and down to his mother’s office. He was about to take a turn, when he heard a few loud voices coming his way. He stopped dead in his tracks, recognizing the voices as ones belonging to a few governors.

“We should set a deadline for the prince to get married,” one of them said.

“If we leave the situation as it is, we can never see the day he’ll bring a real king to the throne!” the other laughed, and Minseok frowned.

“Let’s face it, our prince is a sorry excuse for a king, he’s not the one to rule but to be ruled. I’d call him something worse, but we’re still in the castle. Who has even heard of allowing a prince to marry another prince?! This whole situation is a joke! –“

“Just like our prince,” someone chimed in.

“Exactly!” the previous governor continued, “What about extending the line? Dynasty?! All we can do now is make sure he marries someone wealthy and worthy. Otherwise it may end badly.”

“Or in blood,” someone mumbled, and as they passed Minseok and made their way out.

The prince sink down to the ground, pale like he’d seen a ghost.

And then it hit him. Very hard and right in the guts.

There’s no freedom within the walls of this castle, or any other. And there is no freedom in the blood he has running in his heart. And there is no freedom for a heart of his, pumping that blood to keep him alive. To keep him a slave of his birth status.

“Minseok?” he heard his mother’s voice, “are you alright? Has anything happen?” she knelt down next to him, to help him up.

“Will this ever change?” he asked, quietly.

“What, my baby?”

“This prison,” he answered, looking around.

The queen only sighed, hugging him tightly. “Let’s go inside. I’ll make you some tea.”

♕ ♚ 

“They think I’m no one. They see me as trash, mother,” Minseok sighed, tightly hugging a cup of warm jasmine tea in his hands.

“No one’s ever good enough for them, Min. You shouldn’t bother yourself with that that much.”

“How can I not? How can I not, when I truly am no one mother?!”

“Don’t you dare say that!”

“But it’s true!” he yelled, desperately, “I am no king, mother! I don’t know how to fight, how to protect myself, how am I to protect the whole kingdom?! How can I appease to my people when I don’t know them?! When I don’t know what is mine?! How can I be a good king, when I cannot even give them an heir…” he calmed down and drifted away in his thoughts.

“Listen to me, son,” the queen spoke softly, grabbing the boy by a hand, “since the moment you started talk, the only thing you wanted to talk about was art. We were all so terribly tired of you,” she giggled, “as you could spend hours with your grandfather talking about great adventures, about the world, and when you grew up to be four you were already discussing politics with him. You could ride a horse before you could walk. And when you learnt how to walk you were already running. When you were nine you were already taking care of finances of the kingdom, Minnie. At the age of thirteen you were attending the weekly council meetings. No sword makes a good king, baby. Strength is nothing without knowledge. Don’t take everything from yourself, only because you were never the one to wedge a war,” she smiled, and caressed his cheek. Minseok leant into the touch, but sighed heavily.

“You see mother, I am not made of the same stuff as you and father,” he mumbled, “you said it yourself. I’ve always had a thing for adventure. Is it really what a child should do? Attend council meetings? Talk about politics? Care about finances?”

“This is exactly what a royal child should do, honey,” she spoke softly and sadly, “this is our life. We don’t get to choose, because we need to learn how to make decisions for others. Do you know why your grandfather was such a good king? Because he always put his responsibilities first. Even about family, or himself. The crown was always his priority.”

“I am just so afraid, mother. I don’t want to meet everyone’s worst expectations of me.”

The queen frowned, “then don’t. You are my son, Minseok. You are an heir of the Kim family. We do not lose, and we do not give up. You cannot change your destiny, but you can make it work to your benefit. Your blood dictates everything you do, don’t let the politics dictate your heart. I have won this battle, and you can, too. Make the most good out of this terrible situation,” she smiled sincerely at her son, and Minseok felt warmth spread in his chest.

It’s been a long time since he had such a talk with his mother. “Let’s go for breakfast, I bet you still haven’t eaten.”

Minseok stood up, ready to leave, when one more thought hit him, “they want to give us a deadline,” he told his mother, and the queen rose an eyebrow.

“Excuse me?”

“For my wedding. I’ve heard them say they wouldn’t wait any longer. They want to marry me to their puppet, mother,” he explained, terrified.

The queen bit her lip, looking at her child in desperation, “it’s gonna be okay, Minnie. We’ll figure something,” she whispered, hugging him tightly, “we’ll figure out how to win some more time.”

“What if –“ the prince started, but then bit his tongue. Was he really considering it?

“What if, what?” the queen asked, stepping back.

Minseok sighed defeated. There was no more running.

“What if we throw a ball, mother?”

“A ball? Excuse me, I don’t think I follow you there.”

“Let’s throw a party. A ball. We can invite all the princes, princesses, lords, duchesses, whoever you want to see, let’s bring them here. We can make it look like I’m actually looking for someone to marry. It will buy us time.”

“And what if we don’t figure anything? We cannot make it a month or two long fiesta.”

Minseok bit his lower lip, and felt tears gather at the back of his eyes, “if we don’t figure anything, then I will marry someone at the end of it.”

♕ ♚ 

“Minseok,” he heard his father’s voice as he stood by the cliff, “I’ve heard you wanted to talk?”

“Yes, I did, father,” the prince spoke and turned around to face his father, with a sword in his hands. The king’s eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything, “do you know what it is?”

After a moment, his father’s eyes calmed down, “it’s your grandfather’s”

“Exactly. It belonged to the only person who wanted to see me able to protect myself, protect my kingdom if needed.”

“Min –“

“Don’t interrupt me,” he barked, “I will not be what everyone thinks of me, father. I still have time to be like him,” he looked down at the sword, “to be like you,” the prince then looked at his father, “you just need to help me.”

“What can I do?” the elder asked.

“Get out of my way. Let me get hurt. Let me be.”

The king sighed defeated, but smiled at his son, “I will give up,” he said, “you are right.”

“Mother said strength doesn’t make a king. But neither does knowledge alone. I need both of them if I want to rule one day.”

“Ah, it was always a pleasure listening to you speak,” the king smiled, “especially if you set your mind on something.”

The prince smiled lightly, and his shoulders dropped, as if weight had been taken off them.

“Thank you.”

“I will give you the best trainer that I have. When are you ready to start?”

“Now.”

♕ ♚ 

In the evening, Minseok entered the kitches, startling everyone inside.

“Your majesty! What are you doing here?” the ladies asked.

Minseok smiled at them brightly, “I was wondering if you could help me bake something?”

“You want to… bake, your majesty?”

“Yes, Tae, I think it’s been to long since I last ate a good blueberry pie! What do you think?” he asked, smiling from ear to ear, looking at a dark haired girl in front of him.

After a moment she smiled back, and took the prince by the arm, “yes, Minnie, I think it’s been quite some time,” she giggled.

A few hours later they stood by a table full of blueberry pies.

“I don't’ remember the last time I had so much fun,” the prince spoke, his fingers.

“You’ve got a funny definition of “fun” for a prince,” the girl laughed.

“It calms me down,” Minseok smiled softly, running a hand through his hair.

“You’ve got—“ Taeyeon started, but the prince interrupted her.

“Do you think you could help me pack it? There’s one place I want to take it to.”

The girls rose an eyebrow, curious, “care to share your secret?”

“Not really, Tae, not really,” he laughed softly and started putting the pies into a basket.

“What is going on, Min?” she asked, eyeing the prince up and down.

“Nothing,” he shrugged.

“This tells me something else,” she pointed, looking at a basket full of pies.

“Can you please keep it to yourself? I don’t want anyone to know I left the castle with food. Or that I left it at all. It’s no one’s business,” he begged, taking the girl by hands.

She smiled softly, pushing a loose bang of hair from the prince’s eyes.

“Of course. No one will know. Just be careful, okay?”

“Of course, thank you!”

“Wait!” she grabbed him, as he was about to turn and walk away, “take this as well,” she whispered, putting two apples into the basket.

Minseok chuckled to himself, kissed her forehead and left into the night.

♕ ♚ 

“Xiumin.” Surprise was more than evident on Jongdae’s face, as he opened the wooden door and saw the prince outside.

“Hi,” Minseok spoke weakly, feeling a bit anxious, as he still remembered their last meeting and how it ended.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” the thief confessed, letting the other inside.

Minseok blew a raspberry.

“You’re not getting rid of me so easily,” he laughed.

“Well, it seemed like I offended you quite a lot last time—“

“I brought you something,” Minseok interrupted, not wanting to hear about the previous night.

“What?”

“I will not be able to come for some time, so I thought I would bring something for you and the kids… just in case you run out of food,” he said quietly, handing Jongdae the basket.

But the boy didn’t take it. He stood there with his fists clenched, only starting at Minseok. He opened and closed his mouth, as if wanting to say something, but nothing came out.

The prince smiled lightly, and only placed the basket on the porch.

“I know you can provide for them,” he spoke softly, “and I am not here because I think you cannot. I just don’t want you to get into trouble, like you did last time, you know. I wouldn’t be able to save myself, because I was never taught how to. But you won’t be able to save your life as well, when you have no energy to,” he explained quietly, turning to look at the other only after he was finished.

Jongdae no longer looked angry, his fists were not clenched. He only looked exhausted.

Minseok made sure to take a good look at the little thief. He wanted to remember everything about him—his broken eyes, his tired face, his ruined posture and defeated spirit.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because it’s time for changes. And through helping you, I am helping myself.”

“Why do you always speak in riddles?”

“Jongdae,” the prince took a step closer, “what happened that you ended up here?”

♕ ♚ 

872345 years later, here I make a comeback.