I escaped to my room under the ruse of looking for my phone. I honestly have no idea where it is. All I know now - all I can hear is the loud thumping of my heart. This can't be normal. I might need to go to the emergency room.

I collapsed on my bed. I have to lie down for a bit.

I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Empty your mind. Focus on your breathing. Inhale. Exhale. There's only your breathing. The rest is nothingness. Inhale. Exhale.

The moment flashed back in my head and I jerked my hand towards my chest. The electricity I felt when her fingers brushed against mine was still fresh. It gave me a jolt, and somehow... somehow things seem different. 

Somehow, I really hoped she wasn't just passing me some gum.

"Ugh. The hell are you thinking..." I groaned as I turned to bury my face in my pillow. 

Confusing. That's the only word I can come up with to describe this whole fiasco inside me. Confusing. Where did all this come from? What is going on? What does it mean? Did I catch some sort of virus abroad that causes psychotic disorders?

I was in the middle of a long shower, trying to sort this out, when I heard her knock. I was even considering a proper bath. Everyone knows how I feel about showers, let alone baths. That's how confused I am right now.

Of course I knew it was her knocking. Upset or not, she had the same knocking pattern - only the tempo and intensity differs depending on her mood. I knew that she was gonna be a bit pissed at the caption, but I coudln't help but post it. My fingers weren't my own that time. I typed it and...

And...

Well, what did I hope for? It was a joke. A joke made for fanservice. I wanted to please the fans, that's why I did it. She knows we have to do fanservice sometimes. Of course, she gets teased by her group as well for that and she hates it. 

Why would she hate it? Why? I mean, wouldn't girls be happy to be paired up with me? Am I that unattractive? Well, mom says I'm cute. I mean, Amber could do worse. Not that I'm great looking or anyhting but you know, there are worse guys. And we're bros! She's my bro! But a girl. A girl bro. A gro. What is that even?

But man, when I opened that door and she was there, I don't know. I just... it was... strange. I was with her just a couple hours ago, but... Why was I so glad to see her? I mean, bros can miss bros, right? But that soon? Am I getting clingy? Is it because I'm growing old?

I don't know. This is a completely new territory for me. It's not even the same planet. It's maybe even a different universe, a different dimension. She's been the anchor that kept me from going insane all this time. When I couldn't take it anymore, when I felt like I had no reason to stay, the thought of leaving her alone to fend for herself was the only thing that kept me in place. I really don't know what I'd do without her.

And now... I really don't know what to do about her. 

I'm sure I saw it - a passing look that says there's something else behind that smile. Maybe she's also going through a silent war inside herself like I am right now. Or maybe... maybe I'm just seeing things I wanna see. Maybe I just need a good night's sleep. I don't know.

"Henry!"

My heart leapt to my throat. She didn't hear what I was thinking, did she? What do I do?

Clearing my throat, and as naturally as I can, I yelled back. "Yeah?"

"Your phone's out here, !"

A smile spread on my face. Yep. That's my Amber.