Yixing never saw this coming.

Sure, Baekhyun has always been the reason why his heart beats a little faster when their eyes meet, filled with warmth when they stand side by side, and clenches in excitement when they touch. But Baekhyun has always been close—emotionally and physically—to everyone that he assures himself to never think of him in a romantic way, despite the fact that he can’t deny the stabbing pain each time the vocalist is seen seeking attention from the other members and teasing them with extra touches and sometimes kisses.

And Yixing is convinced that the longing gaze Baekhyun gives to one certain member is a sign for him to not have any high expectations that his feelings will be reciprocated. So he’s trying, so damn hard, to ignore the thundering in his chest when Baekhyun smiles at him, and the urge to turn his head and kiss him that one time when Baekhyun blows air into his ear. It’s been going great so far, especially when his additional jobs allow him to actually stay away from Baekhyun—which really helps because it’s difficult to brush Baekhyun away when he latches to his arm and leans his head on his shoulder that he can smell the scent of his shampoo on his hair. bruh the struggle is real

So when Jongdae stares at him when they were talking, his brows furrowed in concern as he raises one finger to point at Yixing’s mouth and says “Are you chewing on a flower?”, Yixing instantly freezes.

He knows well about the illness and is fully aware of the symptoms. The illness itself is what causes Yixing to work this hard to fully avert his attention with the hopes of falling out of love with Baekhyun. He is certain that his feelings will die down any time soon, considering that now his focus is concentrated on filming, acting, work, work, work. So why is this happening?

“Hyung?” Jongdae calls, pulling the older back from his reverie.

Yixing sticks two fingers into his mouth, reaching for the flower between his teeth and pulling it out. The flower is very small on his palm and he only dares to hold it by the stem, afraid that it’ll break at the slightest touch. The white crown cower from the world and Yixing is tempted to peek inside when he notices the tip of the petals curl outward, almost as if they’re inviting him to see what’s hidden underneath.

“What’s—”

“Lily of the valley,” Yixing cuts Jongdae’s words, recalling the time when Baekhyun told him about his birth flower, how the vocalist laughed and gave him a suggestive look with a little wiggle of his eyebrows as they both found out the flower represents chastity.

Jongdae snatches the flower from his hand and threw it in the bin. “I don’t ing care what it’s called, I don’t remember the nutritionist-noona said something about including flowers in our diet. What’s happening with you?”

Yixing bites his lip, not sure to tell Jongdae about the disease because he really hates making the others worried but Jongdae’s sharp gaze is slowly burning a spot on Yixing’s forehead as if he’s trying to cut it open to know what he’s keeping in his mind. Well, it’s a good thing that they’re alone in the room.

However, as he’s about to open his mouth to speak, something in his chest seems to be poking and Yixing winces at the soreness. It’s itching at his throat and before he knows it, he’s coughing more flowers out and Jongdae immediately jumps off of his seat to pat Yixing’s back to help.

“, who’s doing this to you?!” Jongdae yells.

Yixing puts his hand over his heart, feeling it throb painfully. He can feel Jongdae gripping on his shirt in anger and Yixing rests his hand on the younger’s shoulder reassuringly.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve been taking meds for this,” he lied.

And as strange as it seems, Jongdae in fact buys his words. He then grabs a plastic bag from the dressing table to help Yixing collect the petals before throwing it away in the bin.