Youngjae throws on his blazer and smiles as he looks at himself in the mirror. His phone buzzes in his pockets and he pulls it out to take the call. Youngjae nods his head and confirms he was on his way. He puts his phone back in his pocket and places his hand over his blazer pocket. Youngjae feels the item inside and smiles. The time has finally arrive, he thought.

It was a perfect spring afternoon. The sky was a beautiful light blue color and the streets of Seoul were filled with a fresh breeze of cherry blossoms. Youngjae decides to walk to the wedding hall instead of flagging down a taxi. He had always dreamt it this way; walking to his own wedding.

The young man approaches an intersection and stops at the corner to wait for the stop light. On the other side was a woman walking her dog. As soon as the light signals the walk sign, the woman’s large dog runs ahead, pulling the owner along. Youngjae stops the dog in its tracks and pats the dogs head to calm it down. The dog begins to Youngjae’s hand and he laughs. He still remembers the day he got his scar on his right hand. A dog had entered the school yard and chased the short little girl. Youngjae wanted to be tough and save her. But when the dog saw him, the dog charged at Youngjae. The dog bit Youngjae’s hand he thought he was going to die from the pain. He can’t remember much that happen after that, just that the short little girl threw her shoes at the dog and chased it away. His scar was forever a symbol of the little girl saving his life.

The dog’s owner apologizes and pulls her dog along. Youngjae continues on his path and passes by a coffee shop. He smiles as he sees the table he and the short little girl would always sit at during junior high. The short little girl was much smarter than Youngjae was. And Youngjae was thankful for that, for she became his tutor and they met up every weekend at that coffee shop. Some days she would review math concepts and Korean literature with him, but most days, Youngjae would sit quietly and just listen to her voice. As if it was an endless tune of the world’s most beautiful song.

Youngjae is nearing the wedding hall and he can feel his heart beating faster. It was just like he imagine it would be, except if his heart beat any faster, he may need to be admitted immediately to the hospital. Youngjae stands in front of building and takes a moment to soak it all. The day he had dreamed of for so long. It was finally here.

Youngjae gets tapped on the shoulder and he turns around to see his college friend, Da-eun. She gives him a hug and says she thought he was surely going to get cold feet. He pretends to run off but Da-eun grabs onto his arm tightly. He reassures Da-eun he’ll go in quickly and sends her off to tend the bride. As Da-eun runs off, he watches her disappear into the building. It was an all too familiar sight.

It was in college that Youngjae and the short little girl, now turned women but still short, really matured their relationship. Life was perfect for Youngjae. Every morning when he woke up, the women of his dreams was in his arms. He couldn’t ask for more and he didn’t. But life has a strange ways of opening doors when you’ve been in a room for too long. Youngjae was so sure he would get rejected into Law school and had thought it wouldn’t hurt to apply. But it did hurt. He vividly remembers being at the airport, ready to board the plane. Youngjae and the love of his life embrace in a warm hug before she kisses him and runs off. She couldn’t bear to see Youngjae board the plane. Da-eun had been there to farewell him as well. They embrace their goodbyes and Youngjae sends Da-eun after his love. Youngjae watched as Da-eun disappeared into the crowd of people at the airport before boarding his flight.

Youngjae walks through the wedding hall and looks around. Sometimes, Youngjae think back to the day he boarded the airplane and wonder if he made the right choice. The wedding attendees sees Youngjae and began to shake his hand and give him hugs. Youngjae smiles. He always come back to the same conclusion. It doesn’t matter whether or not he made the right choice that day. All that matters is that today Youngjae was here at the wedding hall and the bride was just hidden behind a door a few steps ahead.

Youngjae knocks on the bride’s door and Da-eun pokes her head out. Youngjae asks to see the bride and Da-eun teased that it was forbidden. Youngjae begs cutely that he would not be able to wait until the wedding. Da-eun laughs and makes Youngjae promise to not let anyone know she let him in. With that, Da-eun lets Youngjae into the room and leaves. Youngjae enters the room and sees the love of his life sitting at the mirror table trying to put on her necklace. He watches and admires how beautiful she looked. She has trouble putting on her necklace and asks Da-eun for help but turns around to find Youngjae standing at the doorway. She quickly stands up and looks at Youngjae.

Youngjae walks over and smiles. He reaches to touch her face but refrains. He did not want to smear her make up. Youngjae looks into his love’s eyes. They were as lovely as the last time he seen them. No, they was more beautiful. In fact, they were the most beautiful he had ever seen.

About two years after Youngjae left to law school, Youngjae and his once short little girl had reunited. The two years in law school had made Youngjae age and only became an obstacle in his relationship. Things had become a constant road bump and neither remembers the last time they webcam without yelling at one another. The first day the two would meet after two years was the last day they would meet. Both had agreed to end the relationship in person but when the day came, neither was able to walk away. But Youngjae knew the damage it would cause if they didn’t. He knew she cried herself to sleep every night because of him. He knew he was poison in her life and so although she begged to work things out, Youngjae broke things off. He watched as tears filled her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. It took all the strength he had inside of him to turn away and leave her. Every step further away he took, the more he wanted to run back and embrace her in his arms. To tell her he’ll change. That’ll he reply to her text messages as soon as he sees them. That he’ll webcam her more often. That he will put her first. But it would be all a lie. And she deserved more than a liar.

Five years has pass and today Youngjae was once again standing in front of the love of his life. She walks toward Youngjae and trips over her gown. Youngjae quickly catches her by her shoulder and helps her up. Youngjae laughs and she looks up at him. Youngjae was right. One day he was going to be standing in front of the once short little girl and catch her as she would trip over her own wedding dress.

Youngjae’s dream came true.

But they forgot to mention that nightmares were dreams too.

This was the love of his life’s wedding.

And he was not the groom.

Youngjae takes the necklace from the bride’s hands and walks behind her. He helps her put on her necklace without a word exchanged between them. The bride feels the necklace as Youngjae walks back in front of her and reaches into his pocket He pulls out the invitation letter to her wedding.

“Congratulations.” Youngjae smiles and bows as he hands the invitation back to her.

He had practiced this a thousand times since Da-eun had sent him the invitation letter a month ago. He made sure to enunciate the word clearly, smile brightly and bow politely. He had practice this a thousand times and even then, it did not prepare him for this moment. For the past five years, he drank himself drunk every night. He longed for her touch for so long. She was so close, yet as far as she could ever be.

The bride holds onto her chest as if to make sure her heart did not burst out of her body. She cannot believe that after five years, her dear Yoo Youngjae was standing in front of her again. It was as if it had been all a dream; as if she did not spend the last five years crying herself to sleep, as if she had not learned to let Youngjae go, as if she had not just recently open her heart to fall in love again with another man.

The bride’s quivering hands grabs the invitation letter from Youngjae.

“Let’s live properly.” Youngjae breaks the silence.

The bride looks away and bits her lips, trying to stop herself from crying.

“Let’s not wait to wither anymore. Let’s do what’s right. Let’s start living properly.” Youngjae repeats.

The bride takes a deep breath and looks back at Youngjae. “Should we?”

--------------------------------------------

Youngjae sits down at one of the tables in a street vendor. The owner walks over places a bottle of soju in front of Youngjae.

"Wait.” Youngjae stops the owner. “I won’t be doing this anymore.” Youngjae smiles. “I won’t drink myself drunk every night anymore.”

“Did something happen?” The owner question.

“Hm…please give me some of your bubble tea

“Oh. Why the change after all these years?”

“…I want to live.”

----------------------------------------------

The bride is standing in front of the groom who is smiling happily at her, unaware that moments ago she had just meet Yoo Youngjae again. The groom had finished his vows and a long silence filled the huge room. The groom began to caress the bride’s hands and leans in to kiss her hands. The bride looks around the room and catches the eyes of her family and friends. She turns back to her groom and smiles.

“I don’t want to spend countless nights waiting to wither anymore. I don’t want to ever be that person again. I want to go to sleep unable to wait for the next day to come. With you, I am the happiest I had ever been and it’s with you who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Until our hair turn grey and fall out, I’m going to start living properly.”

----------------------------------------------

End.