Yixing still remembered the first time he admitted Krystal might have been his ideal type. He still remembered his embarrassment three years before, on Sukira Radio, while saying out loud how perfectly Krystal fitted his idea of girl he would date. And he still remembered how blessed he felt when he had been announced that he was going to work with her, thus sharing with her months of crazy filming. Months in which they became closer, giving Lay the absolute certainty that not only she might have been his ideal type of girl, but that she in fact was his ideal type of girl. A warm sense of protectiveness had started raising in him as he worked side by side with her, he grew accustomed to (and also fascinated by) her beautiful smiles, her delicate frame and movements, her personal strength.

So that, when he had been asked again about his female goddess, he had answered surely, even if between stuttered words and a flustered face, that Krystal was his female goddess.

But Yixing wasn't stupid, and for as much as he liked and loved her, he knew she wasn't as interested in him as he was in her. It wasn't that difficult to see, and Lay had accepted it right away, even if he had kept telling himself he maybe had only to wait a bit, just enough to find the right moment in which confess to her his feelings and hope for the best. But the wait never ended, and he somehow grew used to his burning love slowly warming the bottom of his heart. If it was meant to be, then everything would have eventually sorted out, and he would have got the opportunity to date her, and maybe marry her.

Those months of hectic filming had left in him some sort of mixed feelings: he felt blessed for having had the possibility of working with her for so long and so closely, but at the same time he felt tormented by what ifs and uncertainties, doubts, frustrations.

So, when he sensed something strange going on between his secret crush and one of his bandmates, he couldn't help but accept it despite feeling sad and even more frustrated with himself than before. Not that Jongin and Krystal were so obvious about their blooming relationship, but Yixing just could feel they were slowly falling for each other: simple smiles, shy exchanges of glares, whispered words and soft touches when they thought no one was around were enough for him to understand the situation and decide to step aside, let them live their love. He pretended not to know what was going on, and waited and waited. He waited, until the news finally became official among the members of both groups -his and hers.

Yixing couldn't stop himself from thinking he was lucky he wasn't there when it happened, and that if he had been, he probably wouldn't have been able to handle that as decently as he did in his studio in China. At least, he had enough time to sort out his ideas and face Jongin without any bitterness. Jongin had stole everything he considered important in his life: firstly, his role as main dancer of EXO, and then his crush. And he still didn't know where he did go wrong to make all of that happen.

When he finally had the chance to face him directly, he couldn't do anything but simply say “I heard about you and Krystal. Congratulations”, and he watched with kind attentive eyes a faint blush blooming on his timid face, as a sparkle of happiness, a little and inoffensive lightning, passed through the younger's eyes. And Yixing knew. He knew Jongin was serious about it, that his love was sincere, that they were happy and that he had no chance whatsoever. He knew Jongin wasn't going to make her suffer on purpose, and that he was going to cherish every single moment he had the opportunity to spend with her. And Yixing smiled. A sad yet honest smile.

Yixing didn't have the power to make them stop loving each other, and even if he had had, he wouldn't have used it anyway. It was against his principles, against his own kind nature. He told himself that, as long as she was happy, he was going to be happy too. He just wanted Krystal's wellbeing, and Jongin seemed the right person to grant him that. But even if Yixing hid his sufferings behind cute dimpled smiles and kind heart-warming words, he still had bad days where he felt like he deserved everything that has happened to him.

That day was one of those days. Finally the SM had discussed about making Jongin and Krystal's relationship public, and he had felt the little part left of his tranquility crumbling down definitively. He sat down in the practice room, his back leaning against the mirrored wall with the cool surface calming him down, his head reclined back, his eyes closed, as a first, timid tear rolled down from the corner of his eye through his cheek, leaving a warm and wet path where it had passed. The practice room was the only place where he really felt himself, where he was able to let out all his problems and worries, where he felt free and at home.

He started thinking about how miserable he was, sat there in an empty practice room, crying like a child who has lost his favourite toy. He was so immersed in his thought and silent sobs that he didn't even notice Sehun entering the room while taking long sips of his chocolate bubble tea with a yellow straw, his headphones plucked in with the music a high volume.

The younger only took off his bag before noticing the older, and seeing he was crying. He didn't wait not even a second in approaching him and sitting beside him, in silence, waiting for the other to finally becoming aware of his presence. He didn't want to disturb him during such a private moment, but at the same time he didn't have the heart to go away and leave him alone with his pain.

After what it seemed like hours, Yixing eventually opened his eyes, and saw Sehun beside him, his legs collected between his skinny arms, his chin rested on his knees. He observed the younger for a second before speaking, his voice hoarse after so many tears.

«S-Sehunnie...?»

Sehun lifted his head, and turned it to look at him with a surprised and concerned face. He looked so young, like this.

«Ge»

«What are you doing here?»

«I'm sitting beside a fountain, don't you see?»

His little joke made Yixing smile a bit, a very sad smile that broke Sehun's heart into million pieces.

«Sorry, ge. You must feel very bad for crying like that. I didn't want to intrude but-»

«It's ok, Sehun. Thank you for being here»

«Do you want to talk about it? I mean, I know I'm not the best when it comes to console people -that'd be you and Suho- but, you know, I'm willing to listen if you need to let it out»

This time Yixing's smile was less sad, and Sehun felt a bit better. He hadn't expected Yixing's head to land gently on his shoulder, though, so he tensed up a little, just enough to make sure he was still.

«Do you think there's always a reason for our sufferings?»

Sehun was about to answer, when Yixing started talking again.

«I mean, do you think karma hates me? I know I have a lot of lacks and flaws but if only I knew where I did wrong, I could change and make it better, so that next time I'll be perfect. I can't understand why I can't bring myself to hate him and her, but instead I feel like it's all my fault.»

Sehun frowned as he felt the body of his bandmate shifting position.

«Are you talking about Jongin and Krystal, Yixing-ge?»

«I know he's younger, he's leaner, he's taller and less spaced out. That he's cool and that you can't oblige someone to love you, but why did he have to take away from me my dreams? I'm the first in recognising he's better than me, but don't you think I need to be considered too?»

Yixing's voice was now reduced to a whisper, and Sehun felt a warm tear land on his shoulder through the fabric of his t-shirt. Just one. But it was enough to make anger grow in him, even if he didn't know towards whom it was directed. He wanted to make Yixing feel better, relieved, loved.

«Jongin's not better than you, you're both good in your specialties, in your own ways. You should stop comparing yourself to him and start getting angry, real angry. It's normal for you to feel down now, but you should have said something, stop accepting what comes and saying you might have deserved it.»

Yixing lifted his head from Sehun's shoulder, and the younger immediately missed that warm weight. The older started staring in front of himself, looking at nothing in particular, his eyes lost.

«You're right, Sehunnie. But I can't be angry with them 'cause they love each other, can I?»

«You could have fought before they got together, if you really loved her.»

«But I didn't, she wasn't interested. It's not like I could force my feelings on her»

«Then, move on. Let her go and find someone else who cares about you as much as you care about them.»

«I've already let her go»

The older seemed really confused, and Sehun sighed heavily, and turned around to see Yixing, who was still staring at the empty space.

«Ge» he called, and waited until the other turned around to look at his face «you might have let her go in here,» he said, pointing at his head with his index finger «but you didn't let her go in here»

And with that, Sehun placed his hand on Yixing's chest, where his heart was. Yixing followed said gesture with his eyes, and blushed a little when he felt the other cold hand landing on his t-shirt and resting there. He lifted his eyes and looked into Sehun's ones, now serious and dark, unreadable.

«How can I do that?» he said, suddenly too self-conscious.

«Stop commiserating yourself. You'll never move on if you keep on thinking what has gone wrong. The sea is full of fishes, you'll eventually find someone else and you'll even forget this all has happened. And more importantly, talk about it with someone.»

«Why do I feel like you're saying this more to yourself than to me?» Yixing chuckled, a bit relieved by that little talk with Sehun.

Sehun, on the other hand, released a nervous laugh, which was missed by the older. He also realised he still had his hand on the older's chest, and he proceeded immediately to remove it.

Yixing smiled. Sehun was the last person he expected to confess his secret to, and he had been positively surprised by how the younger was good at infusing strength in him. He leaned in and whispered into Sehun's ear a happy “thank you, really”, before trying to peck his bandmate on the cheek, a thing he knew the other found cute, but always pretended to hate to make himself look manlier.

As he leaned closer and closer, though, Sehun turned to face him, and Yixing's lips accidentally crashed onto Sehun's. They immediately parted as they blushed hard and looked everywhere but at each other. Sehun cleared his throat with evident embarrassment, while Yixing produced himself into an uncomfortable smile, trying to convince both himself and the other that everything it was ok.

After some minutes of discomfort, Yixing finally stood up, stretching out an hand to Sehun so that the latter could stand up too. They picked up their things they have left on the floor of the practice room, and then exited the place, heading home, still not saying a word.

For the next days, Yixing lived in some sort of personal hell, with the preparatives of the SM that preceded the public announcement. He was feeling better, after his little outpouring to Sehun, but it wasn't enough to make him face what was about to come with a peaceful mind. Sehun was right, he might have let Krystal go in his mind, but he hadn't in his heart, and he was scared by that fact that maybe he would have never been able to do it. Sometimes, Krystal came to the dorm to talk with Jongin, and she never missed a chance to exchange a few words with Yixing, as they were still close, and that hurt him even more. He couldn't stop thinking about her.

So eventually, he decided to talk again with Sehun, as he was the only one who knew his secret.

«I don't think I can make it» he claimed as he sat down on the younger's bed.

«Make what?» Sehun asked, while on a chocolate bar.

«Forget her. Not if she keeps barging in here whenever she wants»

«Do you think you'd feel better if you stopped seeing her so frequently?»

«I... I guess. I mean, no, I just don't want to be around her so much when she's with him.»

Sehun stopped his actions and went closer to Yixing, encircling his shoulders with his long and skinny arm. He squeezed them a bit.

«That's normal, ge. We'll figure this out, don't worry.»

And Sehun really helped Yixing out every time Krystal appeared in the dorm, always producing an excuse to take the older away from her and Jongin. Be it for a bubble tea treat, or for an extra dance practice, it didn't matter, Yixing really was happy to see Sehun approach him and then guide him away from his sufferings. And spending so much time with the younger, he also noticed how caring and sweet Sehun could be when it came to make the people he loved feel better. He never missed when Yixing was feeling sadder or more stressed, and he tried to easy his nerves by making him laugh or asking him to dance. He also became aware of how Sehun was growing up, getting taller and manlier and more handsome than before, all things he had been missing out while he was in China. He really liked being around Sehun, and he began to wait for the moments they could share.

Sehun, on the other hand, was trying to do his best to keep Yixing's mood bright. He loved seeing the older smiling, so he did everything he could to make him smile. They hang around so often that they started to be indivisible. But neither of them talked about that kiss they accidentally shared in the practice room; it was a taboo topic, even if they kept being all touchy both in public and in private.

Yixing could say he was starting to cope with it, and he owed it all to Sehun. Until on the April's Fool day, the bomb exploded: the SM released the news of the relationship between Jongin and Krystal. Yixing knew it was about to come, that sooner or later it would have happened, and in a way he had prepared himself. He still felt sad and lost, though, and he turned down Sehun's suggestion to go out together to have fun. He wanted to elaborate his pain alone, he wanted to overcome it by himself. But all his plans went to hell when Sehun barged into his bedroom and literally dragged him out.

«Sehun, really, I don't feel like to»

«My , ge! You'll come with me, either you want it or not.»

«Sehun» Yixing whined loud as he stopped battling and started following the younger. «Can you at least tell me where we are going?»

Sehun shook his head and made Yixing get on his expensive car. He started the engine and the vehicle moved.

«Ge, you said you were never going to bottle it up inside, it's not good for you to stay home alone today! We'll have fun together, I promise!»

Yixing leaned back on the seat, and hoped the day wasn't going to get worse than it already was. After no more than half an hour, Sehun stopped the car, and Yixing found himself near a big amusement park. The younger got off the car, and waited for him to do the same. Then he took out a bag and told the older to follow him. They entered the amusement park with some tickets Sehun had previously bought, and then they started deciding where to go. Everything went well until they both received a message from Suho telling them the news was officially out.

«Sure the agency know how to release things. On April's Fool day, no one will ever believe it's true. Also because most of the sasaeng are convinced she was made to be with you»

Yixing gasped a bit, and Sehun bit on his bottom lip as he realised he shouldn't have said that. He wanted that day to be perfect and tranquil for Yixing. Without waiting, he said:

«What about the Ferris wheel? It's a wonderful day, and if you want to scream or cry or whatever, no one we'll see you except me.»

Yixing nodded tiredly as they headed to the Ferris wheel and got on, helped by the staff. Once in the cubicle, they sat one in front of the other. Sehun waited for the wheel to start moving to talk.

«How do you feel, ge?»

«Not in my best shape, but really, I'm fine»

Sehun spared him a doubtful look, but didn't say anything about it, waiting for the older to do the first move and let everything out. But Yixing didn't really know what he was feeling: he was still depressed and a bit frustrated, but spending time with Sehun was making him feel better minute after minute, and he had forgot about the matter until the younger had accidentally brought it up again.

«I'm sincere, Sehun. I'm feeling quite fine, thanks to you»

«You don't have to lie, ge, here there's no one who can judge you»

«Sehun, seriously, I don't need to cry or scream or sob, I'm ok»

Sehun looked at him with a stern look and his eyes hardened a bit. «If you're not going to do anything, then I'm going to do it.»

«Do what?» Yixing was confused. But before he could add anything, the Ferris wheel stopped and they found themselves on the top, with a magnificent sight right before their eyes. Sehun took advantage of that perfect moment and leaned in, pressing his lips against Yixing's.

«Do this» he finally answered, after they parted. «I'm sorry, but I can't keep on seeing you suffer while I keep suffering. I can't give you advices on something I can't handle myself. I like you a lot, Yixing-ge, and if you need me to make you feel better, I'm here, ready to do whatever you want.»

Yixing was still confused, this time for his new feelings, though. He liked Sehun too, and even if they never talked about it again, he also had liked that rapid kiss in the practice room. Yixing still blushed every time he thought about it. He still was crushing on Krystal and feeling the sadness of the situation of her being with Jongin, but he also liked Sehun, in more ways than he had thought at first.

«I was right. That time, in the practice room, you were talking also to yourself.»

«Somehow you've always been good at spotting the others' problems, that's why I've always had a crush on you»

«Sehun, you know that what you're saying is dangerous? Like really dangerous?»

«Yes, ge. I know your secret, you know mine. We're even»

«So this means I can't tell you another secret...?»

Sehun looked at him with an eyebrow cocked up. «What do you mean?»

«I mean I have another secret, but if I told you, we wouldn't be even any longer» he pouted cutely.

«What...? Yixing, for God's sake!»

Yixing got up and sat next Sehun, and then leaned in until his mouth was nearly brushing against the younger's ear. «I liked the kiss we shared in the practice room. I like spending time with you. I guess I might like you»

«Are you serious?»

Yixing smiled and then pecked Sehun's lips, stretched into a cute smile.

«Then, I have another secret.» Sehun declared, and Yixing looked at him perplexed. Sehun fished out his phone from his pocket and dialled a number.

«Hey, man! You can start the Ferris wheel again, we're finished here!»

AUTHOR'S CORNER... YAY! 

So, this is my new story about this pairing... Hope you liked it! 
I wrote it in an excess of inspiration, I guess, this news of Kai dating Krystal actually gave me a lot of ideas (that sums to the ones I have already started. Kill me)! *^* 
See you for the next ing, and don't forget to tell me what you think about this story in the comments below! ;)