One blue Saturday night, and Yongguk spent it for working on his new pieces for his final project inside his studio at campus as he didn’t really have anything to do nor girl to date. Yes, he sure had his own deadline but somehow spending just one night for refreshing wouldn’t have hurt, would it? Actually, his best friend, Himchan, who had been working at a prestigious fashion company, had invited him to join in his guys’ night out. But somehow Yongguk didn’t feel like to go out with his paints as his excuses, and another reason was simply because he felt so insecure to meet his old friends who had already had settled works for their life while he had not graduated from his painting major and had been stuck on his final year for almost three years.

It wasn’t that he was stupid. Probably lazy somehow. But he’d always convince himself that he just had not found his muse, yet. But this year, he really had to graduate from college. His parents in the countryside had asked him again and again when they should come to Seoul to attend his graduation. Some of his relatives even asked him whether he had had a stable job or even a potential girl to marry with and he just answered them all with his signature gummy smile as he didn’t want to ‘boast’ how lonely he was with his part time job as a freelancer and without any girlfriend at all. Sometimes Himchan’s offered him to help him finding a ‘better’ job or even a girl for a blind date but Yongguk had refused them all. Aside of keeping his own pride, it wasn’t as if he had no girl that he liked.

Fact is, Bang Yongguk had already had a crush on his own junior in same major for almost a year. But as shy as he always was, he just kept his feeling deeply, pressed it to the very corner inside his heart. Not that he didn’t want to confess—but the girl, this certain girl he called as his ‘muse’, apparently just considered him as her brotherly ‘sunbae’ and told him endearingly that she had a crush on one of the boys from music major and asked him for some advices so that the boy would recognize her.

And Bang Yongguk couldn’t be more hurt than that.

As they were in same major and same final year studio, they talked almost every day or simply by text-messaging and seemed comfortable by each other’s company. They looked like brother and sister for the signature broad smiles they had—except that his was wider that he could show his gummy all the way out. They often shared different thoughts about one thing to other and never lost any topic to be talked about—except when she was non-stop talking about her crush, about how cute the boy was, how manly his voice was and how bright his eyes when he was talking about everything he liked, especially when he was eating his favorite cheesecake at this café near their college she often came by.

And tonight, he felt especially lonely as most of the students from art department were having a party at one of the popular ones—including her. That boy had to be coming as well since she was so eager when talking about tonight’s party and asked Yongguk to come along with her. But as usual, he refused any offering to join any social party—he was an unsociable person though, after being a senior for years already. He was not that close to his juniors after all. People somehow were scary of his ‘dark’ appearance and his deep voice. If she did not approach him first at the final year student’s colloquium, he himself wouldn’t recognize her at all—but sure that was the reason of why she was special to him.

He was still working on his signature black and white piece. Canvas after canvas had been done since the beginning of this very last semester. His dark blue apron had been stained by black spots of charcoal here and there, not to mention how some of them were smeared on the side of his face as the result of his attempt to wipe his sweat by his dirtied hand. His new piece was still about 60%, he guessed, when he was about to take a rest from his works. He took a glance at his phone at a small tabled next to his charcoal set, not really wondering why she had not texted him yet since she probably had been so busy mingling with the people in the party. Somehow he wished that Himchan would text him again, insisting his friend to join him and their old friends at the club in Itaewon and to distract him from his paints and from the thoughts of her. He sighed, absolutely wondering whether his life would even be lonelier than this. Then as if answering his somewhat wish, his phone vibrated and he thought that maybe he, too, deserved to be happy just like other people were.

He immediately fetched his phone and didn’t expect that it would be her that texting him, asking whether he was still in the studio or not because she had cancelled her plan to attend the party. Yongguk, being his usual simple character, just simply texted her back with a word, ‘yes’, and he eventually got another reply that she was gonna come to meet him at the studio. Blinking obliviously, Yongguk then suddenly got up from his spot and strode out to the restroom at the end of the corridor. He knew that he wasn’t a pretty boy especially in this atelier attire he had. But sure looking a bit neater wouldn’t have hurt—he wasn’t sprucing himself all the way up though. He just simply washed off some dirt of the charcoal of his face and tidying up his messy hair somehow.

“You know, with this talent you have, I’m still wondering why you have not graduated yet, oppa,” Jung Eunji had already stood in front of his 60% done canvas and was staring at it when he was getting back at the studio. “Is it done yet? It looks wonderful already,” she praised as she turned her head at him who was still standing by the half closed door, admiring her beauty under the dim light of the studio lamp. Her smile was mesmerizing, and her eyes twinkling so brightly. He wondered whether she was a real human or an angel God sent down to his mundane life. To him, she was the shining star that brightened up his black and white piece. She was his inspiration, his muse.

And that smile, he was sure that he would die just to protect that smile his whole life.

If only she allowed him to do so.

“I’m sorry for bothering. But you know… I… I’m not sure to come to the party. Daehyun must be coming with his friends, and… there’ll be pretty girls surrounding him, and….”

This girl and her insecurity. He just wanted to protect her more. “Oh, c’mon, Ji… you’re pretty in your own way. If he doesn’t find you pretty, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

Yet, he was so hopeless. He’d be more than glad if Eunji didn’t notice how flat his tone was and he tried to seal it by huffing casually while working on some random things around his station.

“Oh, you’re really a flatterer, oppa,” she chuckled, and he smiled faintly.

He was obviously a too polite and too positive of human being who believed that every single thing had its own prettiness not matter how ugly the judgment was. And sadly, he had no courage to be honest and to loudly confess that she IS the prettiest for him.

“Have you eaten? Want to grab some snacks?” she eyed him persuasively—or he’d rather say ‘cutely’.

Honestly he didn’t even realize how hungry he was until she asked. His stomach was suddenly grumbling and he had no intention other than hiding his face deep down the bucket of paint in the corner of the studio when she chuckled at his silliness. He really did want to, if only she didn’t walk towards him and took off his apron and grabbed his arm.

“Come on, let’s take a break. You’ve been too long inside this musty studio. Aish, this silly oppa.”

That way, and without asking for his permission, she just dragged him out of the atelier after putting his apron on the nearest table—not that he’d mind though. She dragged him to the nearest snack bar and grabbed two large portions of ddeokbokki, and two cans of soft drink as a take out. Yongguk could only follow her when she dragged him to the nearest park and persuaded him that it was a good time to eat together on the grass under those stars in this warmer spring night. Fortunately, he had time to grab his own jacket when she was dragging him from the studio before thus he could spread it on the grass for her as the manner man he was.

While enjoying their snacks, Eunji told him about this and that, about how she loved to be outside like this and watching stars on the clear sky, about how she didn’t like to add cheese into her ddeokbokki—it’d be too greasy, she said—and about how Bomi had always been too lazy at housekeeping to be her roommate. Yongguk was sure that he’d never be bored just to listen to her stories for the rest of his life. But apparently he, too, had to share his own thoughts and stories as Eunji was the type who believed that conversation is between more than one person. One should be not only talking nor only listening, but giving feedback to each other as well. Jung Eunji was not only talkative, but also sociable that an unsociable one like Yongguk somehow wanted to be as sociable as possible when interacted with her.

After finishing their meals, they ended up laying on the grass and staring at the stars above them while sharing their plans for future and so.

“I want to be as bright as that star,” he said as he pointed at the brightest star they could see that night. So that you would notice me and my feeling toward you, Jung Eunji. She hummed and smiled, not noticing how his head slowly turned towards her and how his heart fluttered simply because of her presence.

“Me too,” she sighed as she sat up and looked down at her laps. “Do you think he’d notice me if I shine brightly like that star, oppa?”

Yongguk’s eyes widened at the realization of who she was talking about. Not Jung Daehyun—again, please.

“It might be late, but—don’t you think that maybe I should still come to the party?” she nibbled on her lower lip nervously, and fiddling with her own fingers. “That way, maybe he’d start noticing me and I could tell him that I’ve been admiring him since then?” she finally lifted her face and stared at him like a fifteen years old teenager asking for an elder’s advice upon her puppy-love story.

Damn, she wasn’t a fifteen years old teenager and he was not that ‘old’—or so, as whatever she considered him as.

“Maybe I should really come—”

“Don’t.”

Just damned this somewhat relationship they had—whatever she considered them as—as he grabbed her hand and prevented her of leaving him for that somewhat party that Jung Daehyun was in.

“What are you doing, oppa?”

“Just, don’t,” he repeated sternly and she blinked confusedly at his sudden demeanor. “Don’t go to the party. Just stay here… with me,” if anyone asked, he was even amazed by his own sudden courage.

“W-what do you mean by… that?”

“I like you. I like spending my time like this with you. I like you ever since you talked to me and asked me first for my final project title in that colloquium last semester. Remember how I told you that I have to graduate this very year since I have found my muse? That ‘muse’ is you, Eunji-yah. It’s you. Only you. You are my shining star. And I feel special when you started calling me ‘oppa’ rather than ‘sunbaenim’ even though I’d more be than glad if I am more than a friend, more than a sunbae, and more than a brother for you. All this time I think I got enough with whatever you’d call me, but—can I…?” He took a long breath before continuing his somewhat confession.

“Can I call you mine, Jung Eunji?”

***

Four months later, his family including some of his relatives came along to attend his long-awaited graduation. His gummy smile never left his face and right after the formal ceremony was done, he tugged a very pretty girl in similar toga as his closer to his side and brought themselves to meet his family and relatives proudly.

“Mom, Dad, every one, let me introduce you to my fiancée—Jung Eunji.”

Oh, should he tell them as well how he’d been admitted to work at a prestigious art gallery in Seoul and was admitted to continue for his master degree?

And all thanks to his muse, his love of life—named Jung Eunji.

***

A/N: I'm suggesting you to read this while listening to B.A.P's "My Girl" from Carnival album : )

And somehow, Yongguk in the beginning of this story is me. Wish me luck for my final project guys, haha!

P.S. Special dedication for bluesjuice who somehow can be a psychic and read my mind so well~xD love you, hun! *bear hugs*

P.S.S. Feedbacks are more than loved! So please leave any comment here~ <3