I am so sorry for any spelling/grammar errors. I will check later, now I am too tired.

Word count: 1.9k

Luhan was still not over his first heart-break. The name of the said painful feeling was Oh Sehun, his ex-best friend. It was hard since Sehun was his only friend (and a long time crush), but that’s just the way things were. It’s been a year of pure torture, seeing Sehun everywhere, and yet not being able to talk to him, to hug him, or to look at him without feeling his fragile heart to shatter into a million pieces.

 He never allowed himself to dwell onto painful memories, but the images of their not so friendly encounters always sneaked into his thoughts and in front of his eyes.

He knows he is being ridiculous. He knows he should be over Sehun. He knows he should move on. But he can’t.

Move on he tells himself day and night, as he watches the stars and the moon being replaced by the sun. Move on he tells himself as he watches the yellow leafs fall on the ground, and later being replaced by new ones. Move on he tells himself as he watches the reason of his pain, flirt and kiss and replace him, and their friendship with someone new, someone better. Move on he tells himself as he listens to the knife-sharp words that Sehun throws at him whenever their eyes meet in the hallway on the way to the next class.

But Luhan’s heart doesn’t allow him to move on. It still aches for Sehun.

Luhan has tried to forgive and to forget. The first part was easy, since he didn’t have it in him to actually hate Sehun, but to forget… Luhan feared it was not something he could do. And he has tried everything: alcohol to numb his mind and his heart, nameless flings to pretend, endless parties to forget. And yet, here he was, alone in his room sitting on his soft and comfortable bed, with his heart weighing more than a stone.

It 3 am, and time that Luhan loves and hates with all of his heart. It’s late and everyone’s asleep (except sad and broken souls like himself), it’s peaceful and it’s quiet. It’s a drastic contrast compared to his loud and screaming brain. It’s quiet, himself being the only one awake in his family’s small house, with no one to yell at him, no one to mock him, no one to make him feel worthless.

But it’s 3 am and there is no one around, so Luhan has taken it upon himself to make him feel worthless. No one is here, and yet, Luhan feel worse than the times where a large crowd is around him, mocking and judging him. It’s 3 am and Luhan can’t help the overwhelming feeling of loneliness that creeps along his skin, makes him shiver and muffle his sobs from escaping him. It’s 3 am, and it’s quiet and dark, and no one is around to stop him from torturing himself with memories, that only make his task of concealing sobs that much harder. But he can’t help it. Maybe Luhan is a masochist, because he just loves to think of all the times where Sehun called him a ing , but also about the times they spent countless night together staying up until the sunrise, talking and giggling about nothing and everything.

Little did he know, a few houses down the streets, a boy named Oh Sehun, was letting down his walls as he began to cry softly, while staring at the moon, and asking himself how did he go from being bullied to being the bully himself. But it was too late to change now. The one he loved probably hated him now, hell even Sehun hated himself. How could he do that to the person he loved? He caused him so much pain, and for what? His reputation? His pride? His fear? Sehun rubbed his eyes tiredly. It was for the best – Luahn hated him now, and Sehun would somehow cope with the pain in his chest. Maybe tomorrow would be better.                                                    

“Hey, !” Sehun sneered at Luhan, his voice venomous and his eyes hateful.

Luhan could not find it in him to reply, he just lowered his head, and tried not to let his tears fall. He would not, he would absolutely not cry.

“How many did you this weekend?” Sehun mocked. “You know, I think I saw you making out with five different guys at Kris’ party. You are a ing . A disgusting and a ” He spat into his face and went with his new friends, probably to laugh at how pathetic he was.

Once they w