Sehun awoke before the others mostly because he hadn't slept all night and because he had to wake up early in order to see Luhan. He was extremely anxious to see the the older male but was equally exited. He was seeing his best friend again. He was seeing the person he loved again. He had no idea what he was going to say or how he was gonna act. Should he act as if nothing had changed? But things had changed greatly; nothing was the same.

Sehun's biggest concern was what he was going to say; is it right to tell Luhan about his feelings? What if it messes up their friendship? What if it taints the friendly memories they had created with each other? Sehun wasn't sure if he could express himself though; what would he say? What if Luhan didn't feel the same way? Sehun wasn't sure if he could handle rejection; he also wasn't sure if he could keep his emotions hidden anymore. Not confessing might be more painful than confessing and getting rejected.

~

Sehun walked to the cafe where they had planned to meet at and opened the door to see Luhan sitting at a table in the very back corner of the small cozy place. Luhan flashed him an amazing smile that made Sehun's heart flutter; he had almost forgotten how handsome his friend was. As he walked towards the table Luhan quickly stood up and greeted the younger with a hug; Sehun knew he missed this feeling but only realized how great his yearning for it was when he felt it again.

"How have you been? You look tired. Are you sleeping well? Have you been eating well? Are you overworked? How did the show go? How are the other guys? It feels like it's been forever since I've seen you," Luhan spoke so quickly it was almost hard to understand, especially because it had been so long since he spoke Korean, his pronunciation was very awkward. Sehun thought it was adorable though and couldn't help but let out a laugh; Luhan was still his cheery and curious self.

He did his best to answer the questions without stumbling over his words, he did a little but nothing too noticeable, he was still very anxious. Of course he lied about some things, he wasn't eating well, he wasn't sleeping well, he was overworked, he was tired, but he wouldn't tell Luhan any of this. He didn't deserve the worry.

They continued to talk and as they did Sehun became more comfortable, maybe things hadn't changed so much. They talked how they used to, smiled how they used to, and laughed how they used to. Oh how long it had been since Sehun had shown a real smile or a actual laugh. He couldn't remember the last time his expressions of joy weren't forced. He almost forgot how it felt to be sincerely happy; luckily Luhan reminded him.

"Oh it's almost time for my photo shoot", Luhan stated looking sadly at the time, "want to walk me there? It's not far from here."

"Oh...um...um s-sure," Sehun said stumbling over his words, "I'd love to."

"Great lets go."

~

Sehun was starting to get nervous again; he knew that if he was gonna say something then he needed to say it soon. He knew that if he didn't say anything it would he would regret it, he didn't know the next time he could see Luhan again, he didn't know how much longer he could continue living how he was.

He was walking next to Luhan in an allyway (Luhan had insisted that he walks here all the time and it was safe) still trying to think of the right words to say when Luhan suddenly said, "we need to hang out more, or text more. I miss you."

"I miss you too."

The sadness in Sehun's voice was almost embarrassingly obvious. Luhan had done it; he had broken down the emotional block that Sehun had built. There was no hiding anymore.

"Are you okay? You seem upset", Luhan never sugar coated statements when he was concerned. He rarely heard a tone like that in Sehun's voice; he didn't like it.

"Yeah I'm fine it's just...." Sehun's mind was working too fast to put his thoughts into words, "it's been really hard since you left."

"I understand. The group probably changed a lot."

"Actually, the group transitioned well, better than expected."

"Oh, that's good. That things are normal."

"Only for the group though. Not for me."

"What do you mean?"

Sehun stopped walking, Luhan followed his actions, and took a deep breath. This was it.

"Is it weird if I say that everything I do is because of you?" Luhan opened his mouth but was quickly interrupted by Sehun, "You don't have to answer that; I know it's weird, but it's true. Every emotion I feel, happy or sad, bad or good, I feel it with the thought of you. I do everything with the thought of you; sometimes I almost feel like you're with me because you're in my mind so much, but you're not. I wish you were though. I wish you knew that my every movement is because of you. I don't know what to do without you."

His words were getting faster and he was speaking with so much passion it almost sounding as if he was shouting. But he couldn't control himself anymore, not around Luhan.

"I tried to stop thinking about you but I can't; I don't want to. I don't want to try and forget; I want you to be with me, I want you to sing to me like you used to, I want you to hug me like you used to, I want you to be with me every single moment of every single day like you used to, I just want you!"

His voice was shaking and he could feel tears beggining to fill his eyes. In a voice so quiet it was almost a whisper he muttered,

"Luhan I love you."

Nobody said a word; the only sound was Sehun's shaky breath. It stayed like this for almost a minute before Luhan got the courage to speak.

"Sehun, I....I don't really know what to say."

"Just say the truth. I'm begging you just say what you feel", tears were falling freely from Sehun's eyes now.

"We used to be best friends, I always tried to protect you and keep you safe.....but that was then; things have changed. We haven't spoken a word to each other since I left and you just randomly tell me you love me? That's not right. Maybe you're just overreacting about me leaving; you're young, it's easy to confuse your feelings."

"Luhan there's no way what I'm feeling isn't love. Did you not just hear what I said? You're the only thing I think about, you're the only thing that manages to keep me sane yet insane at the same time! That's not friendship! I know my feelings better than anyone else; I know how I feel."

"I don't think you do. I think you're just confused and need some time to figure things out."

"THE ONLY THING I NEED IS YOU, WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT!?"

A tension filled the air as Luhan tried to convince Sehun that he was not in his right mind; Sehun couldn't help but to get more and more emotional.

"Look", Luhan said with a stern voice as he looked down at his phone to check the time, "it's almost time for my photoshoot; we can talk once you've figured yourself out."

"I've figured myself out, you're the one that's choosing to ignore what I'm saying", Sehun said with irritation obvious in his voice.

"I'm not ignoring what you're saying. I just think that these feelings will go away and everything will go back to normal."

"What's wrong with these feelings? Am I not allowed to love you? Why are you being like this? Why are you avoiding my emotions why-"

"I DON'T LOVE YOU!"

Sehun's words were cut short by Luhan's shout.

"I don't love you and I never will. I can't think of you like that, we were friends that was it. If you can't stand just being friends with me and are going to let those so called 'real feelings' get in the way of things then maybe you should just stop thinking about me."

"I already told you, I tried but I couldn't! I can't stop no matter what I do! Why aren't you listening!?"

"Because I can't feel the same! Do you think it's easy turning you down? Well it's not. I'm sorry that I don't love you back but maybe this is your sign that you should just forget about me."

Luhan walked quickly down the alleyway avoiding all of Sehun's desperate calls after him. He too was upset about the situation but nothing could be done.

There Sehun was; in the middle of an alleyway sobbing uncontrollably all because of one person. But it had always been like that, and will probably always be like that. After all, Luhan had complete control over him; Sehun was just his puppet.