She spent the whole next week in Japan, for magazine photo-shoot and some commercial. Sometimes she texts her sister first, sometimes Youngji is the one who does it first. She never texts him first, but obediently replies whenever his nag pops up on the screen. At the last day before Gyuri is back to Seoul again, she wonders alone in Shibuya. There’s one cute t-shirt which immediately reminds her of Wang Jackson (he’s fan of all cute things) and when she’s back to her hotel, the t-shirt is already neat in the plastic bag.

Gyuri sighs. She looks for the date on her phone’s calendar and counts the days before March 28.

“Guess I have found your birthday gift, Jackson-ah.” She whispers to no particular one.

__

Seungyeon needs to push her to make her walk after they landed safely at Incheon Airport, eyes wandering around but strangely, Yoon Doojoon is nowhere to be seen. They get through sea of fans who most of them have sophisticated DSLR looping around their neck, and into the agency’s van.

Gyuri stares at her phone dumbfounded. Two days have passed without a single text from him—there was one missed call when she’s still in the bathroom back at her hotel in Japan—and she hates how she feels miserable without it.

“Call him.”

Gyuri jumps in her seat as Seungyeon’s low, unpredictable voice snaps her attention from trying to burn her phone with her intense gaze. He must’ve known I’m back, today, right?

“W-w-what, who?” She stutters, isn’t ready with her manager prying off this sort of her little secret.

“I guess you have a boyfriend. And looks like you miss him a lot.”

Even though Park Gyuri is a great actress, she can’t help but to blush madly upon Seungyeon’s assumption and putting back her phone into her purse after that. When she checks again after she’s alone in her apartment, Yoon Doojoon still neither calls nor texts her a simple welcome back.

__

The blasting ringtone almost gets her jump, but she’s been expecting it and quickly Gyuri answers the call.

“You are fortunate not wanting to marry him. It’s okay to bid off the engagement now if you wish.”

Only to be disappointed and puzzled because surely his father talked nonsense, abrupt, but Gyuri knows there’s something wrong. Out of her control, she dials Doojoon’s number immediately, ignoring the fact that this is the first time she initiates to call him, flustered cheeks and rapid heartbeat in her chest.

His phone is turned off.

Helpless, she slumps on her couch. Suddenly she wants to cry badly. Oh how ignorant she is—she has no idea even a bit about Yoon Doojoon and that’s purely her own mistake. A flash of memory plays in her mind instead; the illusion of how fast Wang Jackson left the world, left her. Gyuri clutches her chest—no, she really can’t take it anymore if once again someone leaves her again.

She sends Youngji a text to ask about his roundabout only to find it’s been two days Doojoon stopped visiting Café Terrior. She doesn’t reply her sister’s curiosity because her mind stops working suddenly, frustrated. Wants to cry, but has no right.

And then a spark of light hits her; Goo Hara, his secretary. Gyuri scrambles from laying down and frantically searches Goo Hara’s contact in her phone—praying hard she didn’t get too stupid not to save the petite, pretty girl once they met long time ago.

Hara says, “Mr. Yoon got betrayed by his right-hand man, a friend of his since college. We’ve lost contact with him as well since two days ago.”

After hearing the brief of what have caused his sudden disappearance, Gyuri is determinant to find him right this time. The evening sky is dark and rain pours hard like there’s no tomorrow. She gulps, where to? She has no idea of his favorite place, or particular place where he prefers to cope up when all gets out of hands.

She remembers how easily Doojoon found her in Jeju’s beach when she needed no one to find her, and Gyuri bites her lower lip hard. So useless, undoubtly ignorant.

Putting on her coat, she ignores the voices in her mind as she steps toward the door. But fate likes to play with her, no? Yoon Doojoon is standing in front of her door, soaking wet from head to toe, clearly doesn’t look okay.

“Doo-Doojoon,” She clears , her voice sounds tight with tears. There’s mixed feeling of glad, relief, also shame.

Doojoon retreats from his spot, lifts his head to meet her eyes. He’s broken. She doesn’t want anything rather than pulling him into a hug and giving him shoulder to cry on—but she’s not Doojoon, or Jackson, or Youngji, she’s Park Gyuri who is most of the time awkward with basic practice of human interaction.

“Hey,” His raspy voice lingers in her ears, longer than she wishes. “Can I, come in?”

He staggers walking in and Gyuri carefully places her hands to guide him to the couch. It’s gonna get wet, like her carpet, but who cares?

“I’ll get the warm bath ready.” She hears her own voice uttering the words awkwardly, doesn’t know what to do, what she should do. He’s silent sitting on her couch, and Gyuri starts her step.

But a hand (wet, cold, trembling) catches hers and his voice is husky and broken, sounds like a frightened child.

“Stay, please.”

Gyuri abruptly turning her heels and wrapping her arms around him (wet, cold, trembling), trying to give her heat and convey her sincerity.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. You can cry here. It’s okay.”

She repeats it until her voice is hoarse, throat feeling dry as her clothes starts to get damp as his—mixes of the rain and his tears, her tears—as she feels his hands tighten around her waist, holding her close, face buried in her hair, hiding his silent cry.

It’s okay, you have me.

Will always be.

__

He has taken shower and she forced him to fills in his empty stomach with the congee she made, and now they prepare his bed on the floor beside her bed. Gyuri almost sends all of her stuff from her bed if Doojoon doesn’t remind her that he’s enough with two pillows and two blankets.

They stay in the silence then, after Gyuri turning off the lamp. Doesn’t care how many sheep she tries to count, her eyes are still wide open. She keeps turning on her bed—there’s this funny thing knowing Yoon Doojoon is sleeping in her bedroom, and Gyuri thinks maybe she needs a cold shower to cool off her mind.

Slowly, she crawls out of her blanket and tiptoes to the door when his voice—husky, sending her chest a tingling sensation—calls her name.

“Gyuri-ah? Where are you going?”

He sits up and even though it’s dark, his gaze can clearly be seen—the one which makes her stomach twist and knot—and when she catches the t-shirt he wears, Gyuri bites her lip in uneasiness.

“I, I need to go to the bathroom.” She stays there for a while, and part of her brain accuses her for being stupid; why do I need his permission?

“If you’re not comfortable with me sleeping here, I can move to the living room.”

“No, no, no! I, I mean, it’s still wet there and, uuh, no, no, I’m not not comfortable with you… emm, sleep-sleeping here.” She stammers, her face is boiling red. Thanks God she still doesn’t turn on the lamp yet.

“Really?”

Gyuri swallows down her saliva, feeling nervous suddenly. “Rea-really, look! Look! I’m back to sleep right now!” She rushes on to her bed again, settles herself under the blanket.

“Don’t need to go to the bathroom anymore?”

! Yoon Doojoon’s normal self is back, damn you, man who can easily read mind!

“I can’t sleep.”

She hears he says again, this time through a low whisper. Gyuri also can’t sleep, but she doesn’t say a word.

“Thank you.”

Gyuri cautiously lets out her breath. “For what?”

“This. Letting me crashing here tonight. And feeding me. And lending me this t-shirt, can’t believe you also keep man t-shirt as saving.” His voice is light, Gyuri knows he’s grinning. But instead of feeling happy, there’s a pang bothering her mind.

“Uhm…”

“Oh.” He understands right away. “It’s his, right? Belongs to that kid?” His tone turns solemn and with the dark surrounding them, the bitterness feels real.

“Sorry,” It’s out of her control as Gyuri bluntly apologizes, not sure for what it is.

Doojoon chuckles, bitterly. “Why?”

Gyuri closes her eyes, lets out a heavy sigh. “Because I didn’t know where to find you,” She bites her cheek in attempt to stop crying out of blue. “I-for the, the lack of me knowing about you.”

There’s a rustle noise and she almost gets a heart attack when Doojoon climbs up onto her bed. She awkwardly tries to rise too but stops right away, as his thumb softly wipes her cheeks, she isn’t even aware if she’s crying already.

“Don’t feel bad.” His voice is smooth and trying to soothe her, and it works well like magic. He sighs, still looking at her—sad, happy, relief, what do you want to show me actually?

“His name is Jang Hyunsaeng. He’s always there on my side whenever I needed him. We’re like brothers and I, I trust him so much. It’s just, I didn’t expect if the pain of betrayal is… this hurt.”

Gyuri forces herself to properly sit. Slowly, she lifts her hand to caress his face. He gets taken aback at first, before relaxing and giving her his sad smile.

“I’m just so thankful you didn’t kick me out when I randomly came here.”

“I won’t kick you out.” She whispers. “I, I want you to know tha-there are still many people who’s willing to support you. Goo Hara-ssi, your assistant Yong Junhyung-ssi, Youngji, and, and,” She looks down, getting shy suddenly.

When his hand carefully lifts up her face, Gyuri lets all her guard off. He dips down and easily catches her lips, kissing her softly to tell her, I know, to tell how he’s really thankful toward her. It’s slow, sweet, careful and Doojoon nips her lower lip before they part, breath panting brushes each other’s face. He rests his forehead on hers, smiling.

She gives a light squeeze to his hand that she’s holding—you can pass this surely, and they stay still like that for quite a moment.

And me.

Will always be.