Yifan has learned to always not mind the future because the future will automatically unfold at the right time. No matter how unfulfilling his life is now at the moment, the future will always be brighter and more satisfying than he ever will be. At least that’s what his parents told him. Each person in the world holds a specific destiny, specific fate that is only intertwined with another person. Soulmates, they tell us. But nobody prepared Yifan for the possible end.

And Yifan vehemently believes he already met his.

It happened twice, a few days ago inside a bookstore, when he was waiting patiently for someone to unravel his mysteries, his feelings kept deep inside that he met the most beautiful man he had ever seen. He was different, child-like features, small eyes, very cute nose and lips that look so delightful and Yifan clung to the idea of this boy, and kept it hidden in his heart.

Baekhyun, he heard his companion shout his name, looked straightly at him, eyes full of curiousity and wonder. He reached out to him, touched his face, and gave a small smile until his companion dragged him further away from him. He looked at him, smiling to his companion as if he didn’t see him and went out like nothing happened. Yifan felt so torn, his eyes happy but his heart full of longing, something he quite didn’t understand.

“It’s okay, maybe I’ll see him again tomorrow.” He told himself.

Except, he didn’t. And the next day. And the day after that.

Until a week after, Baekhyun visited the bookstore again. Yifan sat patiently again, watching the people around him, looking at him, curious gazes landing on him but no one dared to walk towards him. Was it because he looked boring? Intimidating? Lazy? He wondered why people wouldn’t want to go near him, was it his smell?

His bathtub of worries was soon filling up that he was sure he’d never be able to get away from this place when a familiar petite boy passed by his peripheral vision. Baekhyun! He was so jittery, his eyes automatically crinkling with happiness, his heart beating wildly. He knows Baekhyun is here for him.

And he was.

Baekhyun looked all around as if looking for something when he caught his eye. He looked so ecstatic yet relieved that he was still there after all these time. Baekhyun smiled widely as he walked towards Yifan, the former excited to get to know someone else again, and Yifan looking like his heart would jump out of its cage.

“Thank God you’re still here. I thought I’ve lost you.” Baekhyun sighed in relief as he held him, cradling him in his arms as if he’s a baby. He looked at Yifan once more and Yifan felt lightheaded, so lovestruck that finally, he saw him again and he’s holding him close.

Yifan knew he was his soulmate and that he would love him forever.

—

Yifan chuckled softly as he watched Baekhyun silently, the latter wiping away his tears, sniffing once in a while to keep his snot from falling. His eyes had been puffy and red from crying and he wonders if he was really that depressing. His mother told him he was quite an enjoyable and exciting lad, or so she says, so watching Baekhyun cry infront of him broke his heart. He wanted to hold him, and whisper stupid jokes just to see him smile but he couldn’t. He doesn’t know what the future holds but he knows it will be better and it should get better.

He worried that Baekhyun’s eyes will fall out due to crying so hard but he was glued to him, intent on knowing him better and secluding himself from everyone except him. Baekhyun and Yifan. It gave a little chill in his spine, a good one, as he thought of it but told himself to keep himself calm. He imagined the future with Baekhyun, the two of them without a care in the world. He knew he was racing against the future and his parents always warned him to always take one step at a time.  He intended to abide them, to wait patiently for it as he had once waited patiently for Baekhyun to come to him. His thoughts were broken as a distant shout jolted Baekhyun.

Baekhyun immediately wiped his tear-stained cheeks as he checked the mirror for signs of emotional distress but his eyes gave it away. He looked at Yifan once more, his face contorting with that of pain, anxiety, curiousity, happiness and excitement. He sighed as he walked away from Yifan.

Nobody told Yifan it would hurt this bad. Even Chanyeol, his best bud, never mentioned anything when he got together with Kyungsoo a few days before he met Baekhyun’s eyes at the bookstore. Chanyeol was at the middle of his relationship with Kyungsoo when Yifan experienced something he thought he would never feel. He told him he understood him completely and that he, himself, is dreading the end. His parents warned him that the end would not necessarily be up to what he wants and that sometimes, it usually involved selfless sacrifices but he never listened. Now, all he wants is to change. All he wants is to be with Kyungsoo until the end.

Yifan’s heart clenched with sadness upon seeing the way Chanyeol wept in front of him. It reminded him too much of Baekhyun’s puffy eyes and it broke his heart, knowing he can never do anything to comfort him.

Suddenly, Yifan wants Baekhyun to stop moving forward. He dreaded the day Baekhyun will finally move on and leave him alone just like the others. His chest constricts knowing that the end will never be like what he imagined, a life never after. Chanyeol’s predicament rings strongly in his head, and he wants to throw up from all the pent up emotions he tells himself he isn’t feeling.

As Baekhyun returned, Yifan watched him eagerly, memorizing every curve, every strand of hair, hiding it securely in his head. He watched him as he took a seat in front of him, reached out towards him again and held him lovingly. Yifan never felt so loved in his life and the future haunted him beyond anything else.

“Everything will be okay, son.” He hears his mom tell him.

And he holds on to that.

—

It was crazy to think that Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were friends and that Yifan and Chanyeol both discovered only when they find themselves sitting in front of the other one sunny day. Baekhyun took Yifan out to the cafe near the bookstore where they met and he shamelessly wondered if it was a date.

He wondered if he should tell him, that he has been having these emotions he never thought he’d feel and that it was all Baekhyun; if he should at least let him grab themselves some coffee before confessing or if Baekhyun would feel the same way. He wondered if it was the right thing to do where they were both vulnerable in public. He wanted to say everything, but he was so frightened he feels his throat closing up.

Baekhyun looked quite impatient that day, scrunching his nose and eyebrows furrowing as he drummed his fingers on the table. Yifan wanted to ask why they were outside but stopped himself when he saw Baekhyun’s face immediately lighten up. He looked on to see a guy, a little smaller than Baekhyun, with eyes wide and searching and the plumpiest heart-shaped lips he has ever seen wave at them. A guy taller than him and lankier walked behind him and waved towards Yifan. Yifan’s brows furrowed, seemingly confused at the sudden guests.

“I’m so sorry, Baek. Traffic was a serious .” He heard the wide-eyed heart-shaped lips guy tell them as he took a seat in front of them. The tall guy slid quietly beside him.

“It’s okay, Soo. I’m just really glad you have time. I need to talk to you.” Baekhyun’s voice came out above as a whisper. “You can go buy a drink first, I’ll follow after.” Kyungsoo nodded as he stood up before telling Baekhyun he could order for him. “Ah, a Cappucino, I guess.” Baekhyun trailed off, remembering that Yifan loved Cappucino. It left a smile on his face.

Yifan however didn’t even mind Baekhyun smiling like an idiot and focused all his attention towards the tall guy sitting quietly while ogling at the perky of the wide-eyed heart-shaped lips guy at the counter. “Chanyeol? What the ? What are you doing here?!” Yifan hissed, completely annoyed that the romantic date he imagined in his head was technically somewhat like a double date.

“Dude, I’m just as surprised as you are. Hell, they were even friends?!” Chanyeol snorted before his face deadpanned. “But we aren’t even on the same section when they met us?” Chanyeol equally whispered, scratching his head in the process.

“Well, at least you can help me.” Yifan sighed dejectedly, watching Baekhyun grin toothily at Kyungsoo who was mouthing “the barista is so cute!”.

“No way, bro.” Chanyeol shook his head. “I know what you’re up to and I’m in the same as you are. You can’t do it. You’re going to defy the rules.” He looked at Yifan straight, wondering for himself if it really defies the rules. “Look, Yifan. Remember what your parents told you? The future will unfold for us and it will be better, alright? Just be a little patient.” He tapped his shoulder to comfort Yifan who was busy looking at the street.

Yifan wondered if the people walking briskly outside even had the same predicament as them. Ha! Of course not. His thoughts were then only broken when Kyungsoo slid infront of them, sipping his iced Americano, looking at Baekhyun with his wide-eyes as he pushed the Cappucino infront of him.

“So what’s up?” Kyungsoo started when he felt Baekhyun was skeptical to open his mouth. He knew something was up and he already had an inkling to what it might be. There’s a thing called texting.

“Nothing. Just…” Baekhyun trailed off. He didn’t know whether it was wise to say this to Kyungsoo, of all people. Jongdae was a nice kid, same as Kyungsoo but he was more of an than Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo was a silent killer. Where Jongdae is vocal, Kyungsoo kills with his glare. So the reason why he texted Kyungsoo is still beyond his well-functioning brain. Or at least that’s what he hopes; his brain still functioning well.

“Baekhyun, if this is about Yifan…”

Yifan’s ears perked upon hearing his name from the two’s conversation. Baekhyun hushed him to avoid anyone else intruding in their conversation but Kyungsoo just shrugged it off. “No one knows him, Baek. Stop worrying about it.” He said as he placed his drink on the table. 

“But it’s not normal!” Baekhyun cried out, tears threatening to pour out.

“Holy ! Don’t cry!” Kyungsoo panicked. He had never seen Baekhyun this vulnerable as the latter was always the life of the party, noisy and just a bundle of joy. Seeing him this frail made him realize that it wasn’t just a silly thing to cry over. “I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to push the subject away.”

Yifan wondered if they were both speaking in another language or he has just been really pushed out of the loop. He doesn’t understand. He looked at Baekhyun, the same expression on his face when he saw him crying the other day.

“Kyungsoo, what is wrong with me?” Baekhyun whispered as he calmed himself. He almost forgot they were in a public place and not from the comforts of his home. “I’m not supposed to feel this way. I know I’m wrong but why does it feel so right?” He whispered as he looked down at the cappucino in front of him; the heart-shaped cinnamon sprinkle mocking him. “Did you feel this way with Chanyeol?”

Kyungsoo stopped. He knew this would bounce back at him and he contemplated whether to say yes or just plainly say no just so the focus won’t be at him. But as he looked at Baekhyun’s sad eyes, he found himself saying “yes.”

“How did you get over it?” Baekhyun looked at him filled with hope and Yifan pained at the idea of Baekhyun moving on from him. He wanted to be selfish and keep Baekhyun distracted from the idea but his efforts will always be futile.

“I didn’t. I just…” Kyungsoo watched Baekhyun look at him eagerly, his heart breaking seeing his friend undergo the same thing that happened to him. He briefly wondered if everyone felt this certain moment in their own lives. “I pretended nothing happened and just went on with it. Again and again.”

Yifan looked at Chanyeol as the latter fought to hide his smile. Chanyeol never mentioned anything about this and Yifan felt entirely torn. He was happy for him because Kyungsoo never entertained the idea of moving on but he felt so lonely that he was probably the only person experiencing it.

“If I do that, will it be okay?” Baekhyun whispered and Kyungsoo looked reluctant.

“It could.” Kyungsoo said, tight-lipped. He doesn’t want to lead Baekhyun on yet he doesn’t even want to completely destroy the idea. It could lead a different outcome or it could be entirely like his. “You know what? Just..follow your heart. Do whatever makes you happy.” He cringed as he let out those words. Cheesy Kyungsoo should never be allowed to escape.

“I just…love him. So much.” Baekhyun choked as he heaved a deep breath.

Yifan’s eyes widened, completely shocked at the sudden confession. He gulped as he saw Baekhyun wasn’t joking and that he looked so pained upon this fact. His heart beat erratically, palms getting sweaty as he tried to fight the grin clawing on his face.

Chanyeol’s jaw dropped and his eyes rounded, looking from Yifan to Baekhyun then back to Yifan again. “Dude?! OH MY GOD!” Chanyeol shouted as he shook Yifan’s shoulders from across the table, the other zoning out with a smile on his face. “What the actual . Yifan, oh my God. He loves you!” Chanyeol kept shaking him, but the smile on Yifan’s face slowly disappeared. Chanyeol noticed as he stopped shaking him, watching how fast Yifan became depressed at an alarming rate. “Yifan, you ok?”

Yifan was so happy Baekhyun felt the same way. He was conjuring up different scenarios of his life everyday with him, strolling on the park while holding him, eating ice cream on a cold night with him, spending weekend afternoons together, binge-watching American TV series and many other things he knows he’s not capable of doing.

Yifan looked at Baekhyun sadly and whispered, “I love you, too, but you’re real.”