"Five years."

I stared at Minhwan's figure, cold and distant, knees brought up to his chest. His gaze remained fixed on the cell phone he held in his hand. It was so nostalgic, somehow. I cautiously walked up to him and lowered myself onto the couch.

I spoke in barely a whisper. My hands quivered, but I tried to maintain my composure. "It's been a long time."

Minhwan pretended to fiddle around with the buttons on the phone. He flipped the screen up, snapped it shut, opened it again. He finally resolved to toss the phone onto the couch, bringing his legs even closer.

"Yeah. It has."

His icy words settled. Neither one of us looked at each other.

Silence. It was deafening. The open, spacious college dorm seemed to shrink and engulf me, rob me of oxygen.

It seemed things had forever been like this between us. Like the past, our friendship, had never happened.

I was stupid. For five years, five endless years, I never spoke a word to him. And for five years, he suffered. I suffered. How horrible his life must've been for him. I knew mine had been.

In the end, it was purely my fault. I'd made the promise. And I'd broken it. The result beat and broke us, grating something once so sturdy into dust. Into nothing.

I didn't know how to mend it, our relationship. I was terrible at these kinds of things. I always had been.

I scanned Minhwan's small, almost frail-looking body. He seemed so pale. It hurt to look at him in this state. It hurt to reminisce about the memories of our better days.

But I forced myself to remember, even through the pain.

 

---

 

The day I met Minhwan was a dreary one. The rainfall thudded against the roof like a million footsteps, only made worse by an unforgiving wind. I had been playing a game of tag with my younger brother, Sehyun. I ran as fast as my feet could take me through the house, giggling and screaming, until I was stopped by looming figures in the doorway talking with my parents. I stared in surprise, the mysterious people unfamiliar to me, and then gazed downward. I met eyes with a boy.

He was short with a tiny figure, almost fragile-looking. The pull-over sweatshirt he wore, far too big for him, almost covered his knees. I stared into a pair of small, sharp eyes that quickly tore away from the gaze. He hid reclusively under long black tufts of hair.

I was twelve years old. So oblivious to the world around me, oblivious to things to be, things to come.

But somehow, I knew there was something about this boy. I couldn't pinpoint it.

I felt an odd sensation that told me he was going to change my life.

I gulped.

My parents and the other people, who I figured were his parents, continued their idle chatter amongst themselves. The boy continued to look away from me. Well, it's always best to make guests feel welcome right? I told myself. If he feels uncomfortable, I should fix that. That's what good people do, and I'm a good person. I in a breath, smiled, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Yah, no need to be sad! I'm Seunghyun. What's your name?"

The boy flinched at the touch. He glanced disconcertedly from the floor, to my hand on him, to the floor again. He never lifted his eyes to look at me. He flustered before stammering, "U-um... M-Minhwan..."

"Wow, that's a cool name, Minhwan-gun."

He rubbed the back of his head, not sure how to take the sudden compliment, but complied with a whispered "thank you". My smile widened.

"Did you just move here?"

"Yeah..."

I moved my hand from his shoulder to his wrist and started pulling him away from the doorway. "Cool! C'mon, wanna see my house?"

He stopped in his tracks, glancing reluctantly from my hand to his family. "Um... I..."

"Minhwan's parents," I interjected without thinking, "can we go play?"

Minhwan's mom raised her eyebrows in intrigue and looked to my own mom. They both smiled curiously. Mom squatted to my level, face glowing, and said "Don't be too long, okay?"

"Yay! Let's go, Minhwan-gun," I exclaimed. He obliged without much opposition. As I backed away, I bumped into Sehyun, who had been dashing around the house in search of me. We both fell in a messy heap onto the floor.

"What the heck!?" Sehyun exclaimed. "You said the front door was off-limits!"

"What? No I didn't!"

"Yeah, you--"

"Tag, you're it!"

"Hey, that's not fair, hyung! Come back here!" I grabbed Minhwan's wrist again and made a run for it before Sehyun could tackle me. He stomped his feet in childish anger.

"Kids," one parent said.

"They're practically best friends already."

I smiled brightly and started skipping with new energy.

 

 

I gave a brief tour of our home, pointing out every little thing no matter how miniscule. He tilted his head upward sometimes to glance at the ceiling, but other than that, hardly a response.

I sighed frequently, scratching my head at Minhwan's aloofness. I'd always been an impatient kid. But my determination to make Minhwan feel welcome was far stronger.

When we finally reached my bedroom, I let escape a lengthy "ah" sound. After stretching my arms up to the sky, I sprinted over to my bed, belly-flopped onto the mattress, and rolled onto my back. I shuffled around so I could hang my head upside down over the edge.

"Minhwan-gun, join me!"

"U-uh... Okay..." He stared bewildered, not knowing exactly what to make of the situation, but motioned closer anyway. Carefully, he climbed up onto the mattress, crisscrossed his legs and rested his small hands on his feet. He wiggled his toes, hidden under yellow and white socks, watching them as if toes were the most intriguing thing in the world.

"Do you like video games?"

Minhwan glanced up in surprise. "... Yes."

"Really!? Let's play, then!"

I ran over to my television, almost tripping in my excitement, and collapsed onto my knees. I the now-ancient Nintendo 64 and clicked the TV screen on. The black and white screen's buzzing filled the room as I ran back to the bed, two controllers in hand.

"Well, I don't normally let people be first player since I'd rather be first player, but I'll let you this time."

"Oh... thanks."

"It's starting!"

We watched the short opening movie play before our eyes. I'd already watched the video millions of times, but somehow it never got old. He watched, also entranced. I beamed.

When the starting screen flashed, I poised for action. "Have you played this before?"

"Mm... A little."

"Oh, okay. Well, you're gonna have to watch out for me, because I'm really good at this game, you know. None of my friends can beat me," I bragged with teeming confidence.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the slightest twitch on Minhwan's mouth. I bent closer to the television.

That was the day I discovered Minhwan's natural talent for whooping at video games.

Five rounds later, I groaned loudly, gripping my controller so hard it might break.

"Ngh... How!? I thought I was good... How..."

"But you are good," Minhwan said, trying his best to contain his grin. If this was his best attempt, then Minhwan was a horrible liar. Seunghyun pushed Minhwan in the shoulder, causing him to teeter slightly.

"Obviously not as good as I thought I was..." I grumbled. "Ah, Minhwan, how old are you?"

He widened his eyes. "I'm eleven. Why?"

I grinned, happy that he was starting to respond even the tiniest bit more. "We're almost the same age!" I noted happily. "When's your birthday?"

"Oh..." Minhwan stuttered, trailing off, "Actually... It's tomorrow."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Y-yeah, but it's not that big of a deal, honest--"

I didn't hear a thing he said in my rush for my dresser. I furiously sifted through clothes, drawers, everything until I found what I was looking for: my gameboy. I stared at it tenderly, remembering for two seconds the memories I shared with it, before hurrying back to a flabbergasted Minhwan.

"B-but... I couldn't possibly--I can't accept this--"

"Yes, you can. I want you to have it. So take it," I commanded, ing the console towards him.

He stared at the gameboy as if it were a mystical creature, like it wasn't real. He continued his frenzy of eye movements, from me to the gameboy, back to me again. Finally he sighed in defeat, slowly lowered his hand and took the gameboy from my hands.

"Happy early birthday Minhwan-gun," I cooed warmly.

The expression of happiness, of sudden acceptance, spoke for itself. Although I didn't know why it was such a pivotal moment in our relationship until much later, I did know that I'd made a difference of some sort. The infectious smile that had spread across his face made me feel content with myself. I could feel his happiness.

Finally, I broke the silence. "Let's play with it."

"Um... Nah, it's okay."

"C'mon, I'll watch you--"

In that moment of assertiveness, I grabbed Minhwan's free hand. I don't know why I did it. It was so careless. I never thought twice before thinking. He gasped sharply, dropping the gameboy in an ear-splitting crash against the hardwood floor. Our hands quickly recoiled back to our sides. Neither of us moved, both of us stunned. He began to tremble, and I felt a throbbing pang of guilt. I wanted to ask him, what did I do? But somehow, words wouldn't leave my mouth. I must have done something wrong. But I didn't know what.

"I-I'm sorry, I..." he began feebly.

"Minhwan! There you are. Are you ready to go?"

He stammered, "Oh, yes. I'm coming." Then, after scrambling around for the gameboy, he stood and bowed slightly. "T-thanks... Seunghyun-gun."

"Of course! Come again," I forced, attempting a cheerful tone. He was already with his parents, shying away behind them. Minhwan and his parents walked downstairs after we said goodbye, leaving me alone with the droning battle music of the video game.

I felt confusion in my heart. Pain. I'd made a mistake somehow.

 

---

 

I spent the next morning climbing the tree in my backyard. I'd woken up groggy and irritable. The events of the day before had played incessantly in my mind and kept me tossing and turning all night. I didn't feel like playing with the neighborhood kids so, even with the heavy rain the night before, I continued my solitude.

The icy, moist bark left ugly brown stains on my palms and fingers, but I didn't notice much. Finally, I plopped myself onto the thick branch, heaving a sigh. I felt so empty. I couldn't shake thoughts of Minhwan from my mind. Why was I thinking about him so much anyways? Maybe because I was losing a potential friend.

Wow, I thought, that makes me pretty shallow. I picked at the green leaves on the branch, tossing them in front of me, watching as they slowly descended to the ground.

Small, sharp eyes met mine.

"Seunghyun-gun..."

"Minhwan--!"

Just as the realization that Minhwan, who I naively thought I would never see again, began to settle in my mind, I jumped from the branch. Ungracefully. I tumbled and fell messily onto the damp grass, grunting and flailing in the process. I sprawled out onto my back and moaned lengthily.

"Um, hi. Ow..."

"Are you okay?" Minhwan asked with a worried tone, reaching out to help me up. I fumbled around for his hand, my head still spinning from the clumsy and stupid fall, and he pulled me up. I was surprised at his strength, uncharacteristic to his fragile body and boyish face. Not until later did I notice how he had stretched his hand impulsively towards me and, at my touch, hadn't flinched at all.

"Thanks," I breathed. After he pulled me up, the events of the day before began to appear in my head again. I quickly pulled my hands away and locked my eyes to the ground. There were so many things I wanted to say but nothing would come out. I stood, awkward, wordless. Why was he even here? Shouldn't he hate me now? I thought sadly.

"Um, Seunghyun," Minhwan began sheepishly, "forget yesterday, okay?"

I quickly looked up. "Eh?"

This time, Minhwan looked away. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean for that to happen... Just forget it ever happened. Okay? Let's... start over."

I continued to gawk in disbelief. Words still couldn't find their way out of my mouth. What the heck was going on? Finally, after Minhwan began waving his hand in front of my face as if to test if I was conscious, I regained myself.

"...Really?" I said, still skeptical.

"Yes. Hi, I'm Minhwan. I just moved here not too long ago. I hope we can be friends." As he spoke the last words, he offered another outreached hand towards me.

Before a single thought popped into my mind, instinct caused me to grab the boy's hand happily and in relief.

"We're already friends, aren't we?" I smiled warmly. Minhwan returned with a bright grin that lightened his whole face.

"Uh..." I dropped his hand, realizing it might have been uncomfortable for him. I had to remember that. Minhwan didn't like go be touched much. I made a mental note in my brain.

"Oh!" I suddenly remembered. "Happy birthday!"

"W-what?" Minhwan stuttered. Then, when he remembered, he smiled sheepishly before whispering "oh... thanks" and "you don't have to". Happiness filled me.

"So what do you wanna do?" I asked.

"Um..." he hummed. Then, he reached a hand out to slap my arm. "Tag, you're it."

"... Wait, what?" Minhwan was already making his way to the backyard.

"Hey, that's not fair!" I cried, only then beginning to chase him. Our childish laughter rung throughout the neighborhood.

 

 

From that day on, November eleventh, we quickly became the best of friends.

 

---

 

A year passed.

Only a year and we had already changed so drastically.

Minhwan hit a very sudden growth spurt, shooting his height to almost as tall as me. I never forgot to remind him that one day I would hit a growth spurt and be foot taller than him. Minhwan usually nodded in fake agreement or said "suuuure" in a lengthy drawl. I can't help but chuckle at that memory nowadays.

Minhwan had settled into life in our neighborhood quite easily. Although possessed by a quiet, distant demeanor that caused him to be shy and silent around strangers, he always opened up to me, and I complete looked past his fault. As time went on, Minhwan opened up enough to play with me and the neighborhood kids, who accepted him with open arms. Even still, I spent the most time with Minhwan than anyone else.

It was difficult to understand Minhwan most of the time. The more I hung out with him, the more strange traits I noticed about him.

He had an odd fascination with flowers. If we ever passed the neighbor's yard during while we played outside, he almost always stopped to smell a couple of the pink and yellow blossoms. A pleasant smile would waft over him. Impatient, I would run off without him, knowing Minhwan would follow closely behind a couple seconds later.

I couldn't tell if his tendency to be warmer towards women had anything to do with the attraction to flowers, but they seemed connected somehow. When girls, even ajusshi's—specially ajusshi's, to be honest—talked to him, that same warm smile washed over his normally straight face. It baffled me, but I decided not to think too hard about it.

The thing that made me happiest, as time went by, was to see Minhwan's smile more and more with each passing day. His grins grew bigger, brighter, like a star. They were like a drug and his laugh a poison. It had been rare to get either out of him but in the months after that, Minhwan smiled often. It was infectious.

And one day when I had accidentally touched Minhwan in the arm, I was ready to apologize profusely. To my surprise, he hadn't even noticed. I stood in utter shock. Then, I felt excitement.

Another trait I'd learned about him, though, made me worry. He despised the idea of talking about his mom and dad. I couldn't tell why; his parents were generous, caring people. If I ever asked, he either pretended not to hear or blatantly switched the subject. And if I ever talked of mine, he barely paid attention. At first I ignored it to an extent, but as time flew by, the mystery of his behavior ate at my mind.

 

 

But even with that aside and with so many changes that took place within that fateful year, one thing didn't change. Minhwan was my best friend, and me his.

Nothing would change that.

 

---

 

The two of us lay sprawling on the floor in front of my television. We snacked on crackers while a cartoon rerun blared from the set. We'd seen almost every episode of this show, but whenever it was on, we would watch it anyway. And that's just how it was. If we were together, then it was fine with us.

I snuck a glance over to Minhwan, who'd started giggling at a funny part in the show. I grinned with him. His smile really was contagious.

For some reason, I came to thinking about his parents. He came over often, almost every day, because his parents were never home. We'd silently and unofficially dubbed the topic as taboo, but what could I do? I was only twelve. I never listened to my conscience. Plus, I'd been wondering for so long. He couldn't hide it forever. With no prior thought and warning, I decided to ask him, "Where are your parents?"

Struck by the sudden question, he looked up quickly. When I raised my eyebrows at him as a sign to go on, determined to know, he tore his eyes away.

"O-oh, they're... working," Minhwan stammered, swallowing hard. I scrutinized him carefully. I'd only asked him where his parents were. Why was he acting tense?

"Are you sure?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah. Let's not talk about my parents," he rushed, eyes glued to the floor. He seemed to recoil at his last word. He gripped and released the bottom of his t-shirt over and over again in unexplained anxiety.

"Minhwan, I only asked a simple--"

"Stop."

Taken aback by the strict tone in his voice, I shut my mouth, finally realizing not to push the subject further.

The mystery only fed my voracious curiosity. My mind became shrouded with thoughts of him. I lay awake in my bed, not a bit tired, thinking about Minhwan. I'd known him for almost a full year, but couldn't understand what Minhwan had against his parents. Why?

What was Minhwan's secret?

 

---

 

My question remained unanswered until a rainy November day. A day when I'd picked the right day to eavesdrop.

Sehyun and I had been watching reruns on TV and eating chips, but I grew bored. Minhwan couldn't come over because his grandpa had come to visit, so he and his family were dining out.

I stood from the living room couch and stretched out my arm muscles. Ready to eat some lunch (not like I hadn't just eaten a ton of chips earlier), I made my way into the kitchen. I paused to the sound of my parents conversing quietly with one another. Their tones sounded grave.

"...His parents."

I froze. They said parents. Were they talking about Minhwan? I scooted silently to the wall. I knew that nothing good came out of eavesdropping. I'd been told that many times. But I'd never been a good listener.

"...Can't believe...had to endure that..."

"So that's why he's so quiet."

"To think that... only nine... how can people... like that?" My parents' conversation barely audible, I shuffled closer as nimbly as I could to hear them better.

"...Glad he's in jail for what he did."

"Mmhm. You know, it makes me happy that Seunghyun has been such a good friend to him."

"Minhwan smiles more often than when he first moved here, doesn't he?"

"Yeah... And it's safe to say that it's mostly thanks to--"

Just then, thanks to my clumsiness, I slipped. I'm not even sure what I had slipped on, but I fell to the floor, smashing my head in the process.

"Ow!" I yelled, rubbing my temple in an attempt to subdue the searing pain. Suddenly remembering that I was in the middle of eavesdropping, I glanced up. The color drained from my face.

"Seunghyun?" My mom questioned in a skeptical tone. "What are you doing here?" 

Embarrassment crept up my neck and my palms grew sticky as I stood from the ground. Guilty. I swallowed painfully through the dryness of my throat. My head throbbed.

"Um... I'm just... getting some water. Yeah." I gulped again. Some liar I was.

My dad scrutinized me. "Son, did you hear any of our conversation?"

"What? N-no! Really!"

He glanced at my mom for a couple seconds. They knew. Now I really did need some water. Then, they leaned in closer to each other, lowering their voices.

"I would think Minhwan would've told him by now, don't you think?"

"Well, he is a quiet kid in general."

"What are you talking about?" I blurted. As soon as the words had left my mouth, I impulsively covered it with my hands. Oops.

They eyed me a second time. Then, my dad looked away, a sullen expression in his eyes. It confused me. What had happened to Minhwan? The same question nipped at me continuously like a headache I couldn't get rid of.

"Seunghyun..." my mom began, "that's probably something you should ask Minhwan. It would be wrong of us to tell you."

I scrunched my eyebrows. I was lost. "Why not?"

"It's... a very personal subject. The two of us probably shouldn't even know about it."

 "Well if you know, then why can't I?"

 "Honey, we can't tell you. I'm sorry. He'll tell you when the time comes."

 "Now go," my dad ordered, "We're still talking. And if I catch you peeping again, I will ground you from your video games."

 Frustrated, I retreated away from the kitchen, my feet feeling heavier with every step.

 I still hadn't gotten an answer to my question. Only jumbled hints that confused me more.

 And I still hadn't gotten a drink of water.

 

 

The next morning after a long night's rest, I felt rejuvenated, all of the confusing thoughts of the day before whisked away with my sleep. My heart began to beat extremely fast. Minhwan would come back today.

 And it was November 11th. Minhwan's birthday. Our first friendship anniversary.

 At first, the idea of it felt stupid to me.

 "What's the importance of it anyway? We're best friends. What does it matter?" I had complained loudly a couple weeks before.

 "For one, it's my birthday," Minhwan stated matter-of-factly. I pursed my lips. Crap. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten that.

 "Second, excuse for presents and eating food."

 I nodded with closed eyes, the thought of food arousing my thoughts.

 "Third... Because... you're the best friend I've ever had."

 "Eh?" I said, interrupted by my daydream. Minhwan looked in the direction of his dark shoes but seemed to look past them, like his eyes focused on nothing. The biggest, most sincere smile only grew wider on his face. My heart beat the tiniest bit faster.

 Then, I instinctively wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "Aww, Minari!"

 “What? Where’d you come up with that?”

 “I made it up. It’s cute.”

 We stayed like that for a couple of seconds.

 "Um, Seunghyun, you can let go now."

 "Oh yeah," I mumbled, releasing his neck from my chokehold. I jumped off of the tree branch and landed perfectly on my feet.

 "Well, I'll plan something for you then."

 Minhwan stared down at me for a moment, and then smiled. "Okay!" I ran into my house, Minhwan tagging along close behind.

 "What do you want for your birthday?"

 "Don't you know me well enough by now?" Minhwan shot back. I shrugged.

 

I hadn't forgotten. How could I? He hadn't stopped pestering me about it. I had the perfect gift for him, too.

 Plus, there wasn't a soul, putting aside my family, who I cared about more. Minhwan was my other half. It's hard to forget someone that's a part of you.

 

 ---

 

After I knocked lightly on Minhwan's front door and he'd opened it, I dragged him away to my house without a word.

 “Yah, let go!” he yelled, constantly persisting. He tried to fight himself away, but I wouldn't let him. He eventually quieted down after a minute or two. I knew he would.

 After five or so minutes, I entered my house and walked straight to the garage door. I opened the door and went to where I'd lamely draped a white bed sheet on top of a drum set. It was a Christmas present my parents had gotten for free from a friend and had gifted to me. I hadn't played it in so long. I so horribly, I didn't want to think about playing it. I had the piano, and that was fine by me. But I knew Minhwan liked it. No, he adored it. He could play for hours simply banging random beats out on the set. I knew this would be the perfect present.

 After we’d walked down the stairs, I pointed to the hidden drum set. "There it is! Open it!"

 When he saw what the present obviously was, he rolled his eyes with a smile. "I wonder what it is."

 "Me too," I exclaimed, feigning surprise.

 When he drew away the sheet, his ecstatic smile grew, even though he knew what it was.

 “Thanks, Seunghyun.”

 I grinned triumphantly. I knew he’d like it.

 In return, after running for five minutes back to his house, Minhwan gave me an acoustic guitar that he hadn't been any good at, like me with my drums. It proved to be a good swap.

 For the rest of the day, we attempted to teach other our respective instruments. It didn't work out as well as we had thought. After a couple hours, we tried to play a song we'd heard on the radio. My parents were ready to yank out their hair in frustration, but couldn't help but laugh during our final performance for them. It was great fun. I remember very clearly thinking, "I could do this forever."

Finally, the both of us were watching TV in my bed late at night but I grew bored. I wanted to go do something.

 Plus, another secret lied within me, something I’d been thinking about the past couple of weeks. I still needed to know about Minhwan. I would not stop until I knew, even if I had to resort to sly motives.

 "Let's do something else."

 "Seunghyun, it's eleven at night. What is there to do?" Minhwan asked.

 "I don’t know. Wanna go outside?"

 "Are you crazy?! It's freezing!"

 "Oh well. We only live once." I shrugged. Powerful words for such a small kid.

 Minhwan remained skeptical. Then, he broke down. "Fine."

 Since we were already downstairs, it was relatively easy to sneak out since my parents were sleeping upstairs. We carefully slipped on our jackets and tennis shoes, giggling at each other along the way. In our thick apparel, we crawled through my dog's door, and we ran for the streets.

 I would find out what happened to Minhwan's parents. I would make sure of it.

 

 ---

 

"It's freezing. Let's go back."

 "Isn't your jacket enough?"

 "No... My face is cold."

 I reached out my hands towards Minhwan's face and placed them on his cheeks, pink from the chilly air. "I'll warm you up."

 "Stop," Minhwan swatted my hand with a laugh. I reached for his face again, making him giggle more. I forced my hands into my jacket pockets.

 "Fine. Suit yourself."

 "This was a stupid idea," Minhwan mumbled with an obvious grin on his face. "What are we supposed to do out here anyway?"

 "Let's go in the field," I suggested.

 "Okay.”

 We arrived at the empty field hidden by the numerous houses in the neighborhood. Nothing but a vast expanse of grass, almost as tall as Minhwan. It was a calming getaway from the bustling industrialization and reality of the real world. I walked through it first. Thankful that it hadn't rained much in the past few days, I began to jog through the skyscraper grass, the tips of them batting at my chest. Minhwan walked after me.

 "Hurry up!" I called, maybe too loudly. Minhwan's pace picked up a bit. When he'd finally caught up, I looked up into the blackened sky, painted perfectly with dots of glowing white stars. I smiled and breathed in. Minhwan awed next to me.

 "Wow."

 "It's different late at night," I observed, shoving my hands deeper into my pockets and shrugging my shoulders. Minhwan nodded next to me.

 "Minhwan, in honor of our one year anniversary of being friends, we need to make an oath."

 "What?" he laughed. "Okay."

 I put my fisted hand, pinky protruding out of it, in front of me. He followed suit and intertwined my pinky in his.

 "...What should we promise about?" I whispered.

 "I don't know," Minhwan said.

 "Fine. Um...” I began, thinking of something good to say. “Let's promise to never lie to each other..."

 Minhwan nodded.

 "And to never keep secrets from one another..." at this promise, I glanced up at Minhwan, his face barely visible by moonlight. I caught him gulp.

 "... And to be friends forever."

 Minhwan's smile came back. His grip on my pinky tightened and we shook our hands.

 "That's a promise," I reminded.

 "Yeah, yeah."

 I plopped down into the long stalks of grass, rear end first, creating a place for me to sit. Minhwan did the same. I peered at him closely.

 "Minhwan... Are you living up to our oath?"

 No answer. I waited, staring up into the endless night, but he remained silent.

 Now. Ask him.

 I in a breath.

 "Why don't you ever tell me about your parents?"

 His eyes shot up at me. He knew this was coming. I could tell he knew. But my determination to know exceeded my want for him to be comfortable. Selfishness, I realize now, had consumed me. But that didn't matter to me then.

 "Seunghyun..."

 "Minhwan. You're hiding something from me. I know it. You've been hiding something from me for a long time."

 Minhwan, head tilted so low I couldn't see his eyes, fiddled with a long blade of grass, twirling it around his fingers and yanking up, removing it from its anchor in the ground. Maybe I’m pushing all of this on him too hard, I thought. I shouldn’t do this to him. At the same time though, I wanted to know so badly. I had to. With barely a drop of patience left, I waited.

 "For years, actually."

 I looked to him. His wry smile spoke of a strange, vengeful melancholy that I couldn't understand.

 "You'd think I'm dirty if I told you."

 "I'd never think that, Minhwan. Never."

 His smile faded as he stopped playing with the grass in his hands. He sighed deeply, slowly, perusing the sky above him. I scooted a bit closer.

 "I don't talk about my parents because... they aren’t my real parents."

 My heart froze.

 They weren't?

 I'd expected something far, far different.

 Actually, I didn't know what I thought. I hadn't assumed anything extremely bad, though.

 And just as I started to realize how different he and his "parents" looked from each other, Minhwan said, "I'm adopted."

 Finally, as I let the idea settle in my mind, my heart calmed down.

 "Well—"

 "I'm not done."

 I clamped my mouth shut, making sure not to talk until after he told me his story. He sighed again.

 Again, I waited. I would have waited forever.

 "My dad... my real dad... he... me. On my birthday three years ago."

 A tone of disgust, recoil, solemnity, touched the last words of his confession. Right after he'd said them, he brought his knees closer up to his chest.

 On my birthday three years ago.

 I couldn't move. Couldn't think. Today hadn't only been the anniversary of something special and fun. My first thought was to reach out and hold Minhwan's hand, but I knew that would be a horrible idea. Seeing Minhwan helpless made me feel even more so than he did. My chest hurt badly, so badly, for him. And I couldn't do anything but listen.

 Minhwan swallowed hard before continuing. "He had always been an alcoholic, but it suddenly got worse when I was nine. So he would come home drunk, and he'd take out his anger on me. And my mom couldn't do anything or he'd beat her. She constantly tried to stop him. She was already beaten a lot by him. I didn't want her to get hurt more than she already was." He curled his arms around his knees. I could almost feel what he felt. He felt small, vulnerable, weak. While his face remained expressionless, I could feel the tears welling in my own eyes.

 "I couldn't tell anyone. I was afraid of what he would do to me if I did tell anyone. My friend made me feel better sometimes, but he didn't know. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. So he never knew.

 "And when my mom... got into that car accident, it only got worse..." Minhwan's voice cracked, but he simply cleared his throat and continued. A tear ran from my own eye.

 "I would stay away from home as much I could. I even slept on cardboard boxes in alleys, sometimes. Anything to stay away from home. Especially near flower shops. My mom loved flowers. But I'd have to come back sometime and eat. It was stupid. I knew he'd always be waiting there for me. I don't know why I even tried to run.

 "One day, my teacher noticed the bruises on my arm and asked me about them. And the next thing I knew, my dad was being whisked away to jail and me to an orphanage. I didn't know what to think, really..." his voice faded into nothing for a couple of seconds.

 "And all I can remember is feeling so alone, and weak, because I couldn't do anything except let it happen," he blurted, the volume of his voice increasing. "And I felt so alone for so long. So alone..."

 I couldn't begin to imagine the immensity of the things he'd had to experience in his short lifetime. Such horrible, grotesque things. A bitter hatred began to form in my heart for Minhwan's dad, a man I would never meet and probably would never meet, for what he'd done to my best friend.

 As I was about to say something, anything, to comfort him, a strangled sob escaped his lips. The back of his hand covered his mouth as tears began to fill his pained eyes. An icy shock ran through my body.

 "M-min—"

 Before I could reach out my hand to hold him, he shot up from his seated position in the grass and began to run. I immediately bounded after him. The blades of brown grass whipped at my chest. I could barely see a thing with the dim light of the moon. Even so, I chased him until I eventually gained on him, like a game of tag, and finally, grabbed his left hand in my right. The two of us slowed to a stop, his back facing me. The sounds of his choked whimpering filled the cloudless night as he brushed his eyes with the back of his hand like a little kid. Couldn't I do anything to comfort him other than holding his hand?

 "Minhwan..."

 Slowly, he turned to look at me, wet tears flowing steadily from his eyes. I pulled him closer to me, let go of his hand, and wrapped my free arms around Minhwan's neck. I hugged him tightly, with no intention of letting him go.

 Minhwan stiffened at my touch and tried to fight me off at first, pushing me away from him with cries and grunts. When he realized I wasn't going to release him, he stopped. He continued to cry and sniffle as he rested his head against my chest. He shook violently through his jacket. I held him tighter. It was the only form of comfort I knew.

 "I... I've... never... t-told anyone... since t-then—" Minhwan stuttered through uncontrollable sniffling.

 "Shh. You don't need to talk anymore."

 We stood silently in that field, the surrounding grass almost as tall as us, not a word spoken. I knew he carried more burdens in his heart, but what he'd already told me had been enough. He was already so frail before he'd told me any of this, but now it seemed more so. I waited until his crying slowly died away into an occasional sniff or whimper.

 I breathed deeply. "I don't know what else I can do for you besides this, but I'll make you a promise."

 "We just made promises," Minhwan said with a wavering voice and a cough.

 “A different promise."

 He waited patiently.

 "Your dad will never come back to find you. That's the first promise."

 He sniffed and nodded slowly.

 "Second, I will never, ever hurt you like the way he hurt you. And if anyone ever hurts you, I’ll beat them up."

 He nodded again against my jacket with a sigh.

 "And know that I'll always be there for you. I'll help you with anything. Even if I'm gone for a long time, think of me.”

 In a mix of a laugh and a choke, he lifted his arms to hug me back. Tears fell from his eyes again, but not as heavily as they had been, and stained my coat. I nestled my head on his shoulder.

 "Thanks," he whispered silently.

 I smiled and squeezed his small body tighter.

 

 

I would never let anyone hurt Minhwan again, and I would always stay by his side. That was a promise.

 

 

 

 

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Soooooo I previously had something written here when I first wrote this in November or December or whatever, but I accidentally deleted the story and had to repost it (it's April now ;;). Sooooo...... I have nothing to write here now LOL ;______;

Well, I'd better just warn you now that this will be a 3-part story now, not a 2-part. lol

I hope you like it so far ;u;