"Hyung, I heard what happened", Jaehwan entered Hakyeon's room the following night, "Are you alright?"

Hakyeon smiled, "Thanks to the others. It was careless of me".

"That carelessness saved Sanghyuk's life" Jaehwan informed, "But please never do something like that again".

"Of course Jaehwannie, don't worry. I'm just glad Hyukkie is doing better."

"We have enough food for a whole week -- enough for everyone. I don't know if it's luck that we haven't come across walkers for three days now". 

Hakyeon frowned, "I know but that doesn't mean it's safe Jaehwan. We can't afford to stay put; it isn't safe anymore". 

"I know hyung, but it's taking a toll" the latter replied quietly, not meeting the elder's eyes. 

Hakyeon also felt terribly guilty. They'd found Jaehwan in an abandoned hospital. Somehow the boy managed to survive but he did have a heart condition. Jaehwan was very vulnerable and this new world wasn't too merciful. They knew they'd have to give up Jaehwan sooner or later but the event seemed so far away. Not to mention, he was very perceptible to viruses too. 

"Another day shouldn't be too troublesome" Hakyeon smiled in assurance, "I'll talk to Taekwoon". 

"I'm sorry for slowing you down hyung", Jaehwan bowed in shame. Although he never said it, Hakyeon could see Jaehwan was terrified of dying and being alone. From the looks of it, he was abandoned by his family long before all this. 
They were well off and continued paying medical bills for treatment and hospitalization but they stopped visiting Jaehwan. It took a while for the bit to trust him, but Hakyeon was later successful. 

He hugged his friend, "Don't apologize."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Kim Wonshik was a boy who saw past Jaehwan's defenses and secrets. Unlike Hakyeon, he didn't need Jaehwan's trust to look inside him. 
Jaehwan reminded Wonshik of his younger sister who'd passed away due to cancer. Now, he was glad she did because she wouldn't have to witness this strange scary world. 
He could see from Jaehwan's eyes that they held light. However, he could also see the spark of fear Jaehwan had in his eyes at the mere talk or thought of being alone. 
It reminded him of his sister's look after hospital meeting hours or when she was taken away for treatments and blood tests. The fear of being alone was so clear to Wonshik that he wondered if his parents were blind. She was 13 but so mature for her age. 
No matter how many times she was asked if she was okay, shed always reply with a bright thumbs up. Even when she didn't want to be left alone, she ignored her feelings and told Wonshik to go home since he had school the next morning. 
He regretted not spending time with her and he didn't want to regret ever leaving Jaehwan alone so he stuck close like glue. 
The elder of the two couldn't be more grateful but Wonshik was quick to wave off any gratification to avoid making Jaehwan feel guilty.
But a few months later, he realized that he didn't know himself as much as he'd initially thought. 
It was a late realization; that Wonshik wasn't by Jaehwan's side because of guilt or even to make up for his sister. 
No; he genuinely began caring about Lee Jaehwan along the way. It was an inner battle for Wonshik to allow his sister to move on and not care for Jaehwan because of that guilt. If he did that, he'd regret it and Wonshik had enough regret as it is. 
At some point as he got to know the elder, he discovered that the light from Jaehwan wasn't completely gone. As he opened up to the others, he revealed his bubbly personality. Jaehwan made it his priority to cheer up anyone who was less than content. He didnt act like he was dying or sick; he made the best of everything and his cute antiques had Wonshik whipped before he even realized it. 
That was when he knew he had to let his sister go. 

"Wonshik, is something wrong?"

The boy looked up from his bed. He was sitting cross legged on the bed, staring onto space. 

"N-nothing hyung".

Obviously Jaehwan didn't buy it and came and sat with him. 

"Hyung, I killed man today", Wonshik finally spoke, "Not a zombie. A man". 

"That doesn't make you a killer", Jaehwan replied, "The world we know is gone; those rules don't apply anymore. Not to mention, you were saving Hakyeon hyung. If you hadn't, then we could've risked Hakyeon's or even Leo hyung, Hongbin, or yourself. At this point, you need to survive". 

"Survival is a scary goal". 

"Scary coming from you?" Jaehwan joked, "But being alive is proves your strength and will to go on". 

"Where's the will when you're all alone? Where's the point?" Wonshik sighed. 

"You wont be alone, you have Hakyeon and Leo hyung, Hongbin and Sang----" Jaehwan began. 

"Will I have you, hyung?" Wonshik interrupted. 

Jaehwan frowned, "Wonshik --- we both know the chances of that". 

"Then what's the point?"

Jaehwan took Wonshik's hand, "I knew getting into a relationship in the middle of the apocalypse would be messy but this is reality whether or not all this happened so I don't mind. I think its worth it because I met you but I'm sorry for putting you through this, I shouldn't have ------"

"What? Confessed? Because I'm the one who did that", Wonshik interrupted. 

"Accepted your confession. I really do love you but if I would've been less selfish, you wouldn't have to feel so lonely", jaehwan finished. 

"Hyung that's not what I -------" Wonshik instantly felt guilt. 

"Yah don't talk back, didn't I tell you to stop being so negative all the time? Wake up Hyukkie for dinner pleaase," Jaehwan returned to his bubbly self. But Wonshik knew it was a cover to block any negative emotions. 

He sighed. He was over thinking it. Jaehwan was good at hiding things but Wonshik could see his health deteriorate. 
For now, Wonshik was thankful for Sanghyuk's health and the discovery of food. 

He took a deep breath and went to join the others for patrol. They took time each day to scan the diameter of their home for walkers to avoid surprise attacks. And with enough food, they could focus more on the task at hand with full stomachs. 

But when he got there, Leo was busy as ever. 
"Hakyeon, you are not coming with us". 

"Why not? Am I now weak for one mistake?!" Hakyeon demanded.  

"You know that isn't what I mean" Leo argued, "I just want you to take a break for today. It isn't a big deal".

"I'm totally fine, you don't have to worry about every little ---" Hakyeon looked very upset. 

"Hakyeon hyung", Wonshik spoke. The two elders turned to look at him. 
"I was wondering if you can stay and watch Jaehwan and Sanghyuk, I think he isn't feeling too well". 

"Just so you know, this isnt me backing down", Hakyeon growled lowly at Leo. 

Leo sighed, "Yes Yeon-ah". 

Hakyeon stomped back into the house and the other three were on their way. They didn't really talk much and remained attentive. 
---------------------------------------
Jaehwan was resting so Hakyeon checked up on the youngest. 
"Hyuk-ah, you alright?" 

Despite the sunken cheeks, Hyuk was looking better as his ghostly pale skin was returning in color. 

"Yes hyung". And yet the boy didn't seem any livelier. 

Hakyeon entered the room and sat on the bed, "What's wrong Hyukkie?"

"I'm sorry for slowing you all down, we are supposed to be ob the move but I'm putting everyone in danger". 

Hakyeon scoffed, "Ya, you know that isn't true. We are one and if it really was a danger, we'd drag you along". 

"I heard something happened --- you got attacked", Sanghyuk said. 
"Who the hell told you that?" Hakyeon demanded in anger. He was angry that one of the guys informed Hyuk about all this when he was recovering? Why cause the child extra unnecessary stress?

"I heard you and Leo hyung arguing just now" the boy confessed. 
"Oh" was all Hakyeon could say before he recovered. "Well, it wasn't a huge deal and everyone is fine."

"Hyung you're a really ty liar".

"Language, child!" The elder smacked the youngest, "Don't worry about useless things and just focus on getting better". 

Sanghyuk smiled. He was most thankful to Hakyeon for finding him and trusting him in this screwed up world. 

"But hyung, we never know when the last time is" Sanghyuk said as he laid back down on the bed, "A petty argument could be a regret forever".

Sanghyuk spoke from experience. He was a reckless moody teenager when he yelled at his mother before going on a summer camping trip. That was the last he saw of her. 
-------

Hakyeon closed the door after Sanghyuk's words and thought about his words. Sanghyuk was right. Taekwoon only cared about his safety and health and he'd replied with anger. What if that was their last time meeting? Feeling terrible guilt and worry, Hakyeon anxiously awaited for Taekwoon to return. But tiredness overcame him quickly.  

After three hours, Taekwoon didn't expect to be shoved almost off the ground by Hakyeon when he walked into their room. His arms reflexively went around Hakyeon's waist. 

"Woah! What's with you?" He asked his clinging boyfriend. 
"I'm sorry for arguing with you Taekwoonie", Hakyeon whimpered against his chest. Taekwoon chuckled, "I'm not mad or anything. Its fine --- are you crying?"
The latter was taken aback when he felt wetness on his shirt. Hakyeon never cried when they were together --- at least in front of him. 
Hakyeon remained stuck against him so Taekwoon grabbed his thin shoulders and pushed back gently. Hakyeon immediately covered his eyes in embarrassment, rubbing them quickly to stop the tears. 

Taekwoon gently pushed away his wrists and bent a little to look into his downcast red swollen eyes. He sighed, "Jeez, how long were you crying over this?"
He gently used his thumb to wipe away the tears.  

"You're so good t-to me and I shouldnt have gotten mad at you. I should've treasured every second we have together", Hakyeon sniffled. 

Taekwoon frowned as his expression hardened, "It was a night terror huh?" 
Taekwoon was aware of Hakyeon's frightingly vivid dreams. The first time was when he dreamt of being abused by his parents but ever since they started dating, Hakyeon never mentioned them again. 

Taekwoon knew enough to know this was serious. In fact, Hakyeon used to get prescriptions for them due to the disturbing content. Hakyeon never told Taekwoon what any of them were about exactly ---- until now. He'd wake up sweaty and shaking or he wouldnt wake up from it at all. Often, hed be too deep into the dream to wake up despite being a light sleeper. It frightened Taekwoon to see Hakyeon writhing in bed, mumbling in fear and breathing heavily. At one point, the tan male stopped breathing and Taekwoon had no choice but to slap him hard across the face when his lips became blue and veins were prominent on his neck. 

Hakyeon's silence confirmed it and Taekwoon became cold and dead serious. 
"How long have you been having them?"

Hakyeon swallowed. 

"Hakyeon, answer me right now". 

"Ever since the convenience store".

"And you didn't think of telling me?" Taekwoon demanded. 

"Its the least of our worries", Hakyeon replied, "Besides I have it under control ---- mostly".

Taekwoon took a step back and carefully analyzed Hakyeon this time. He understood clearly what Hakyeon meant by 'under control'. 
The only way to avoid night terrors are to not sleep at all. Taekwoon grit his teeth. He didn't realize how much strength and weight Hakyeon lost because that's what all of them went through and Hakyeon had always been on the thinner side. 
Taekwoon was frustrated and ran a hand through his hair. 

Seeing the worry on his face, Hakyeon quickly grabbed this boyfriend's hands. 
"I'm sorry for not telling you Taekwoon ---- I was going to but Sanghyuk fell ill and I can't be complaining with Jaehwan suffering as well. Besides, everyone is so stressed", Hakyeon explained. 

Taekwoon never truly understood Hakyeon. 
"That's no excuse to neglect your own health. You know I don't pity you ----- I just want you to talk so that I can understand you", Leo calmed down. 

Hakyeon bit his lip, "I-It was those guys. Except this time, you never found me. Th-that you all left me and forgot about me. I remained in that convenience s-store. I-I know its stupid ---", Hakyeon looked away with a lump in his throat. Nobody took his terrors seriously. Everyone said they were meaningless fears --- except Leo, who actually took him to a therapist.  
A pair of hands lifted Hakyeon's chin and he was met with a pair of lips. 
It was a short sweet kiss. 

"It is not stupid Hakyeon. Thanks for trusting me", Leo said before hugging him, "I won't let you get hurt". 

The boys were in good condition within 2 days and Sanghyuk was as good as new. And so, they packed and were on their way. 
The only weapons they carried were axes and knife. None of them had any guns so they had to revert to the ice ago and tie a switch blade's razor to a long wooden log. 

They only carried essentials since weapons took up most space. They walked in formation; Leo in the front, Hakyeon in the back, Ravi on the right, Hongbin on the left, and Jaehwan and Sanghyuk in the middle. Jaehwan was the least healthiest and Sanghyuk was in charge of carrying the three backpacks stocked with food, a first aid kit, and extra weapons. 

They remained alert and careful, but not really knowing where they were headed.

The went through a wide arrangement of fields and road as they found themselves in a rural area. With high overgrown corn cobs, they focused on getting by because walkers could easily be in there somewhere. 

The following property was a peaceful looking town with very few houses. 
Without rest, the boys moved on until Leo decided it was safe. They settled in a well sized house. Hongbin and Ravi looked around to see if the house was empty before the others settled in. With darkness approaching, they needed cover in case of walkers. 
Everyone went to get settled while Hakyeon got to work, making sure every window and door was shut and covered. Turning on the lights wasn't an option at nightfall. 
There were three rooms but theyd all sleep in the living room. After making sure the house was secured, Hakyeon slumped on the couch. He was exhausted with his habit of sleeping every other day. 
He closed his eyes just for a second and slept for three hours before waking up. Sanghyuk sat beside him, indulged in a novel he probably found. 

He yawned before looking around. It was dark. He turned around and moved away the curtains a little to look out, gasping when he saw the herd of walkers strolling the night. 
Sanghyuk noticed his glance, "Yeah this place is crawling with them." 

"Where is everyone?" Hakyeon asked. 
"I think they all fell asleep on the beds", Sanghyuk said. 

"Why aren't you with Hongbin?" Hakyeon asked. The two were practically inseparable. 

Sanghyuk shrugged without looking up, "Why aren't you with Leo hyung?" 

"I'll heat up some soup. Do you want some now?" Hakyeon got up.  

"If you're also having it", Sanghyuk replied. 
----------------------------------------------

The two drank in silence until the younger boy spoke. "Hyung, you never really spoke about yourself before all this". 
Hakyeon nodded in confirmation. 
"We know about Ravi, Hongbin, Jaehwan, Leo hyung and me", Sanghyuk continued, "Is it just me that you haven't told?"

"Leo knows since we've known one another before this but no, you're not the only one", Hakyeon replied. There was a pause. 

"Would you like to know?" 

Sanghyuk looked down, "I don't want to pressure you; I was only curious". 

Hakyeon gave him a soft smile and took a deep breath. "Well, I was almost a regular kid. Me and Leo knew each other from childhood; we were best friends. But my family wasn't well off", Hakyeon said, "I was an only kid and practically grew up on my own. My parents ---- they weren't the most active in my life and often drank and did drugs. You all say I'm clingy and its true. I wasn't as talkative as I am now. I had anxiety when talking to others and Leo was the only one I was okay around. The reason I'm clingy is because you all mean so much to me and I don't want to take anything for granted". 

Sanghyuk noticed the topic shifting.
"Hyung. Did --- did your parents ever you? Like physically or ually?"

Hakyeon seemed to shrink. "Leo already knew they hit me".,

"But?" Sanghyuk edged. 

"I had a stepfather who was often drunk and my mother often ignored him hurting me. Even she didn't know what he'd do at night". 

"Does Leo hyung know?"

"Its in the past and we ready have so much to worry about than the past. Please promise me you won't tell him Hyukkie". 

Sanghyuk nodded, now understanding why Hakyeon never spoke of his previous night. His Leo hyung often spoke fondly of his memories, talking about how annoying Hakyeon was in high school and how clingy he was whenever Leo dropped him off after a date. The younger boy couldn't imagine the regret and distress Leo would feel if he realized what his beloved boyfriend would go through that very night. Sanghyuk always admired his hyung; but now, he felt even more respect for him. To think Hakyeon and Leo were so close and yet, Hakyeon pretended to be fine after all the trauma. Hakyeon indeed was extremely selfless and hated being a burden. His hyung deserved to be cherished. It was terrible that such terrible things happened to good people but here they were. 

Hakyeon was also intelligent. Nobodys life was perfect and everyone went through hardships. Especially with their current situation, they didn't have time to pity themselves; they needed to make it to tomorrow. 

"Hyung, why don't you rest?" Sanghyuk suggested. Hakyeon had an uncertain expression so Sanghyuk added, "I'll join you on the couch". 

Hakyeon hesitantly layed down as Sanghyuk washed the dishes. 
---------------------------------------------

idk what to think of this

guys, should I continue this fic??? please let me know and any feedback u hav to offer <3