The music is loud in his ears, but the screams of all their fans is really what knocks him back when he goes on stage. He always thinks he'll get used to it, but everytime they have one of their big tours, he's blown away by their fans' love for them. It makes him giddy, but also nervous, not wanting them to be dissapointed. He's been feeling a little strain in his throat, and most of the songs they'll sing demand all of him. 

He nervously pulls at the shirt he's wearing, feeling shy in the outfit. He likes it, mostly because Key was the one who designed it, but it's been too long since he's been in these kind of pants and it just feels a little weird. Most of the songs have gone well so far, and he's managed okay, but his throat is still not 100% so he tries not to overdue it. This is not their last concert so he can't lose it. 

His breath is loud, and he wonders if the fans can hear him panting in the microphone. He can feel the sweat building on his forehead and on his back, the shirt sitting tighter against his hot skin as he moves. He can feel his movements almost getting sloppy torwards the end of the song, mentally thanking the gods there's a small talk break before the next one. He holds the last note until his lungs beg for air and the lights disappear, leaving him in darkness for a second as the cheers deafen his ears. He tries to take a deep breath, feeling his lungs thanking him as he bends forward to rest his hands on his knees and just breathe. The lights come on again, white and bright, lighting up the whole arena. He hears s thank the fans and chuckle. He mumbles a breathy thanks as they walk to the back of the stage, and he takes his earpiece out as he bends down to grab a bottle of water. He's tempted to pour it over his head, knowing the fans will probably love it and it will cool down his body, but he decides against it. He takes a large gulp, pouring a bit in his hand to pat on his forehead and run through his damp hair. He puts the bottle down again, glancing around and behind him to the big screen, seeing the camera is pointed at Jinki as he talks, seeing the dimples as he says something stupid, making them laugh. 

The camera pans to Minho as he chuckles, adding something to the comment. Jonghyun takes his chance to just calm down, knowing that the members are aware of his sore throat, knowing they'll let him have a little break. 

He smiles and laughs with them, jumping into the conversation when needed and just relaxing a bit. It's one of his favorite parts of the concert, being able to just talk and joke around a bit with their fans. He knows some of their jokes might be a little lame, and is glad that their fans laugh either way. He snorts when Jinki does one of his stupid body gags, being to used to him doing it in the dorm. His gaze jumps over to Taemin, seeing the tired smile on his face. He looks happy, but Jonghyun knows that he wants to take a break as well. The youngest of them has, as always, worked so hard. Danced every day for hours and never stopping. Jonghyun can feel his protective side coming out, wanting to force the other to just relax before he hurts himself. 

His gaze wanders further down, landing on their last member, and that's where his gaze locks. A small smile adorns his lips as he watches Kibum throw his head back as he laughs, hitting Taemin on his shoulder as he takes a step back. His eyes crinckle closed and the other hand comes up to cover his mouth, something Jonghyun doesn't like. He doesn't know why the other wants to hide his smile, it's adorable. It's breathtaking. He watches the other just stand there, sometimes running a hand through his hair and fixing it, other times talking to the others, sometimes he just looks out into the crowd, giving them a charming smile. He can see how Kibum's eyes brighten as he looks at their fans, the happiness in his smile when he hears them shout, the slight tremble in his lips when Jinki makes them shout out "I LOVE YOU". 

He doesn't realize that his breathing is back to normal, or that his throat doesn't hurt anymore. He doesn't realize that he hasn't moved for 5 minutes, or that he almost hasn't blinked. 

He could stare at the other for hours, everything about him fascinates Jonghyun. His personality, his actions, his looks, his opinions, his talents. It's everything that makes Kibum, Kibum, and everything that makes him unique. It's also everything that makes him fall just a little bit faster than he had thought at the beginning. 

He had noticed it right away, in their debut days. He would not be able to be in this group without falling for the feline boy. He hadn't known that Kibum was his type. He hadn't even known what his type was before he saw Kibum walk through the door. Everything just clicked. And now he's standing on stage, looking at the one he's loved for almost 8 years, having seen him grow up, having been through everything with him. He couldn't be happier. 

He's too far gone to notice Kibum is looking at him, a questioning look on his face. It takes him a minute to focus on it and not just stare hopelessly at his eyes. Then he notices the small laughs from the crowd and turns his head slightly to look at the members that are all staring at him. All three of them have the same amused smile, and he can hear the cogwheels turn in his head. He turns to the big screen, seeing the back of his own head. 

A blush rises on his cheeks.

"What?" He mumbles into the microphone, utterly confused and embarrassed.  The fans scream as the members chuckle, and he bite shis lip as he looks down shyly. "Sorry." He mumbles again. "Lost in thought."

"That's okay. We got a little worried. Didn't it look like someone had pressed on the off button on him?" Minho asks the fans with a teasing grin. "He just stopped working for a few minutes. Is it the concert?" He asks with a chuckle as he turns back to Jonghyun.

"Mostly yeah. Like always I'm blown away by your support and love." He says with his signature lopsided grin, the usual sappy words making the fans swoon easily as the members jumps to the topic. He lets out a small sigh, cursing in his head. He has to be more careful. He knows that the fans are watching him like a hawk, that there will be hundreds off videos and pictures of him staring at Kibum. 

But he can't help it. It's like what Minho said, something in him just stops. He can't function properly. 

The blush soon fades as they move on to other songs, the breathing picking up as he sings his heart out. His voice strains towards the end, him having to rely on the backtrack as he tries to find his voice. 

It doesn't go unnoticed by the other members, several glances flicker over to him, worried and questioning looks. Jonghyun keeps going, knowing that he can't stop now. He'll bounce back tomorrow. A few hours of sleep will make it better, but right now he just needs to put on a smile and make everyone stop worrying. 

It's like his body is on fire, but the feeling is so familiar that it almost goes unnoticed. Having danced so much over the years of his training and his career, his body is used to the tiredness. It still makes him happy, and that is worth the pain he'll feel tomorrow. A smile comes onto his face as he runs down the stage, feeling the wind brush his messy hair back. He almost slips at the end, laughing with the fans as he goes back to dancing happily and carefree. 

When the concert finally draws to a close, he can feel the emotions kick in. They always put their most emotional songs at the end, and it usually is the reason why he breaks down in tears. A part of him doesn't want it to be over, but the other part is of course happy, but also tired. 

When the last note fades off he can see the fans scream and wave their lights, the pearlescent blue making him choke down a sob. They've taken their mics off, and the handheld one in his hand is resting against his hip. He's biting his lip, ignoring the pain since it's been swollen from him biting it so much. He walks closer to the members, giving them weak smiles as they look at him. They probably knows he's going to cry, they're just waiting for it to happen. The fans are probably waiting for it too.

He listens as they talk, feeling the words only boosting his tears. He startles when Taemin puts a towel over his shoulders, giving him a smile as he wipes the sweat from his forehead, quickly brushing it under his eyes as well. He turns his head to gaze at the big screen, seeing Kibum's face glisten in the light, his hair sticking almost everywhere as he runs his hands through it.  

They go down the line, shouting their heart out to their fans and trying to get the message across like in every concert, trying to make them see how much they mean to them, how honoured they are. 

Jonghyun crosses his arms over his chest as Kibum talks beside him, sniffling silently when his nose starts to get runny. He's holding the tears back, but he knows he already looks like he's crying. He really tries this time. He always feels a little embarrassed when he cries on stage, because when he first cries he really cries. It's like the ocean trying to escape from his eyes. 

He looking at Kibum's side profile, softly nodding his head to his speech, agreeing and smiling stiffly. 

It only takes the other to turn slightly, their eyes locking and Kibum sees the look on his face. 

The feline rolls his eyes fondly, letting out a snort in his microphone as he walks closer, reaching for the towel and brushing it under Jonghyun's eyes that are already leaking.

"Yah, crybaby. Can't you wait until after you've talked?" Kibum says with a laugh, but Jonghyun sees the water in the corners of Kibum's eyes. He always notices the smal details. How Kibum teases Jonghyun fondly, but is on the line of breaking down as well.

"I'm not a crybaby." Jonghyun sobs into the mic, he can't help a small smile as the fans scream for him to not cry. The other members gather around them as well, big smiles on their faces.

"Yes you are." Miho teases, wrapping his arm over Jonghyun's shoulder. Kibum is still patting the towel, trying to dry his tears which is totally not working. It's like Niagra falls. But Jonghyun is glad he tries at least. 

He looks at him, their eyes meeting again, and Jonghyun takes a quick intake of air as he sees the warm smile on Kibum's face. There's something different in that smile, something he's only seen a few times. 

Kibum moves to Jonghyun's other side, taking his hand and intertwining their hands as he pulls them to the other two members. Jonghyun is still staring at Kibum, trying to figure out what that look was. Once again he doesn't notice the others until Kibum nudges him in his shoulder.

"What?" He mumbles and sniffles, feeling deja vu hit when everyone laughs again. 

"Stop spacing out." Jinki jokes as he laughs. Jonghyun coughs slightly, feeling his voice give out as he pulls his mic to his mouth. The strain in his throat has apparently gotten worse after he cried, and it breaks when he begins to speak, making him lower his head as his eyes fill with tears again. He feels Kibum press against his side, the hand leaving his to his back, comforting him. 

The other members speak for him, and he nods slightly. They wrap up, stalling out their time as long as they can before they have to go off. Jonghyun feels heavy in his chest when he walks off stage, letting the staff take his mic as he's rushed to their changing room so he can change and go home. He sighs slightly as they walk in, the staff leaving them alone as they start cleaning up for tomorrow.

"Hey, is your voice okay?" Kibum asks softly beside him.

"Ye-" His voice breaks again, catching the others attention. He sees their worried looks, and gives them a small smile as he coughs again. "I'm fine." He says softly. "Just need some sleep." He mumbles, beginning to get out off the sweaty stage clothes.

It only takes them half an hour before they're in the car on their way home. Everything is a habit, so they work quickly so they have as much time as possible to sleep. Jonghyun rests his head on the window, falling asleep for a second and waking up as they arrive at the dorms. Jonghyun dazedly walks up to their dorm, kicking off his shoes as he makes his way to his room, too tired to take a shower even if he need one. He faceplants in his bed, finally letting the adrenaline from the stage leave him to feel the real pain in his throat and his joints. His eyes sting slightly after all the crying, and he knows he's still red around his eyes. He couldn't care less though, as he relaxes.

He's almost fallen asleep when the door opens softly. 

"Hyung?" Jonghyun turns at Kibum's soft voice. He hums, sitting up with a raised eyebrow. "I made you tea." Kibum says as he walks in. Jonghyun chuckles silently.

"I'm fine, Bum." Jonghyun mumbles, but takes the cup from Kibum's hands, breathing in the calming scent. "Thanks." He whispers before taking a sip. 

"Don't overdo it tomorrow, I'm serious." Kibum says with a small glare as he sits down at the end of the bed.

"Alright." Jonghyun whispers with a small nod, knowing it's no point in arguing. "How are you feeling?" He asks as he looks from his cup, seeing the makeupfree face and the pinned back hair. He can see Kibum's tired, but he knows Kibum doesn't like people pointing it out.

"I'm manage. I think I messed up a little at one of the dances, but what can you do?" Kibum says with a small shrug. 

"True. I apparently wasn't able to focus today." Jonghyun mumbles into his tea. It was meant as a curse under his breath, but he spoke a little too loud. 

"Yeah, what was with you? You kept spacing out." Kibum says. "There's nothing wrong, right?" Jonghyun can see the worry growing on his face.

"Nothing's wrong." Jonghyun says and sighs. 

"Okey." Kibum says, but Jonghyun can see he's not bying it. He lets out another sigh, taking another sip. Kibum waits until the cup is empty before moving to get up. But Jonghyun is not really ready for him to go. He reaches out and grabs his hand, gently pulling him. Kibum raises an eyebrow, letting himself fall back on the bed.

"Stay." Jonghyun whines softly, wrapping his arms around the younger. 

"But I have my own bed." Kibum says with a laugh.

"But I want to cuddle." Jonghyun mumbles, moving until Kibum is lying beside him, with Jonghyun's arms around his waist and his head in the crook of Kibum's neck. He lets out a satisfied sigh, relaxing again.

"Skinship maniac." Kibum whispers, but lets his arm fall over Jonghyun silently. Jonghyun smiles, closing his eyes. They lay like that for a while, Jonghyun breathing in Kibum's scent, distracting him from his throat.

"You'll take care of me if I lose my voice, right?" He mumbles tiredly, shifting his head to look at Kibum. The younger looks down at his worried face. Jonghyun can't help but worry about tomorrow, what would happen if he can't sing. He doesn't want to dissapoint or make anyone angry. Kibum smiles. Instead of answering him, he leans down, pressing his plush lips against Jonghyun's for just a few seconds. When he leans back, Jonghyun's eyes are wide and blank, his lips pursed and his mind empty.

"Looked like you needed it." Kibum says and chuckles, moving around and pushing Jonghyun on his back so he can rest his head on Jonghyun's chest. "Don't think too much about it. We'll talk about it tomorrow." He whispers.

Jonghyun can't help but think about it. His mind works like crazy, trying to form words and trying to pin down what just happened. His lips feel tingly from Kibum's touch, and there's a warmth in his chest and his heartbeat has too be crazy enough for Kibum to notice. 

He lies there for a while, and finally comes to a conclusion before he drifts off to sleep.

He wonders if the look Kibum had had on stage was the mirror image of Jonghyun's look everytime he looked at the feline boy. A look filled with love.

It's just a little something. It became longer than I expected, but I really hope you liked it. 

I think the Internet would freak if this happened. Jonghyun just spacing out on stage and staring at Kibum? I would die. (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

Anyway, please leave a comment to let me know what you think, and feel free to check out my other fanfics <3

Thanks bye

chu~~