" I hope you can forgive me, Ryeowook. " he said to his turtle, as if it's the eternal maknae he's talking to. The amphibian wanted to give his owner a WTF look, but he didn't. He knew Yesung needs comfort, even just from him. 

Flashback - A few hours ago...

The people on the 12th floor dorm came down at the 11th floor for breakfast. It's Ryeowook's turn to cook, and definitely the have too eat what the eternal maknae had prepared them or else they'll see him in tears. Hangeng helped him too, and cooked Beijing Fried Rice for them to eat. 

" Thanks for the meal! " they all said, and started to dig in. Yesung is somewhat not in the mood to eat anything at all, and tried to mask it with a fake smile. Ryeowook noticed this, and so did Sungmin and Kibum. But the two just stayed quiet about it and simply ate the breakfast. 

" Yesungie, are you feeling well? " Ryeowook asked. " It seemed like you don't like Hangeng hyung and my cooking. "

" That's utterly ridiculous, Ryeowook! Hyung is one of the avid fans of your cooking! " Sungmin said. 

" Wookie, I am okay. You worry too much. " the philtrum said. He again showed a fake smile, and Ryeowook asked him again but with lesser doubt. 

" Are you sure hyung? "

" Of course. Why would I lie to you, Wookie. "

Ryeowook bought those flowery words that his boyfriend said, and resumed on eating. Yesung heaved a sigh of relief to himself. Little did the younger singer know that his hyung is thinking about something that he would cry on for weeks. 

It's the usual schedule-free Sunday morning. Kyuhyun and Sungmin are playing Starcraft. Donghae is watching Titanic with others on the 12th floor dorm and Eunhyuk, except for Heechul whose having a beauty sleep. Shindong went to see his girlfriend, Nari. Siwon is doing his morning habit, reading an English Newspaper with a cup of coffee and the bible beside him for leisure reading. Kibum and Ryeowook are doing the dishes. And the philtrum is in his room, talking with his turtles. But he got bored, he went outside.

" Guys, I'll be out for a walk. " Yesung called, putting on his jacket and scarf. 

" Yeah, whatever. Don't disturb me, I'm about to beat hyung. " the evil maknae replied, eyes glued to the screen.

" Not today Kyuhyunnie, Not today. Just because you're my boyfriend doesn't mean I'll be losing to you in a game. "

" Hah, we shall see... "

Yesung just gave a shrug and left. After that, Ryeowook entrusted Kibum with all the dishes and of course, he didn't mind at all. Ryeowook then grabbed his jacket and scarfed and followed his hyung outside. 

Yesung POV

I know that I'm was being followed. No matter how hard Ryeowook tried to hide whenever I look back, I know. I'm just pretending that he doesn't know. For twenty minutes we were like that. But until I've reached the nearby park, I went to Ryeowook, and took a deep breath. You're following me annoyingly every time I go outside without you and I knew that you're doing that because you're trying to catch me, whose leaving you alone.

I sensed that Ryeowook is just hiding behind an old snowy tree, I could hear his repetitive whispers saying 'I hope that hyung doesn't find out that I'm here' but to his demise, I'm  already there. I grabbed the eternal maknae by his shoulders. The younger one is expecting for a kiss, but the words that I said was like stabbing his heart with a dagger over and over again. 

" Kim Ryeowook, we're already through. " I said loudly. I could see that tears are already forming on the man in front of me. I hated to see Ryeowook cry, but now I should man up. And thus, I looked at the eternal maknae in the eye. That farewell poison is, without you knowing, spread in my heart. 

End Flashback, still Yesung's POV

I stared at the ceiling long enough. The picture of us together caught my eye when I glanced at it. I put Ddangkoma beside me, and grabbed the frame picture of us. It's been years since Kyuhyun took this picture, and our feelings for each other is really honest. I focused on the man that I am embracing, to him. 

" I loved you from the start, from the day you expressed your feelings for me until now. We never regretted the times that we are together, the numerous dates we've had, our wonderful nights in our bed alone...everything. I have loved everything we did, and it looks like you felt the same way too. " I said to the picture of us, as if it could talk. I heaved a sigh, and continued. 

" Curious how it felt like at first, aren't you? " I said as I leaned closer to him. " It was a wonderful feeling. But now that feeling had fainted, it feels like everything is useless. "

Flashback

" W-what...? " Ryeowook replied to me, and stuttered. " H-hyung... You c-can't... You j-just c-can't... "

I faced him with a bitter smile, and cupped both of his hands with mine. " Ryeowook... It's already over. Please be happy.   "

" Bu-but... how can I... y-you're the one w-who caused m-my happiness... "

" I know you can find a better person than me. Someone... who will soothe and embrace the scars I've left you. "

For five minutes we stared on the snowy surroundings in silence. We avoided each other's gaze, and we kept on holding back those tears that dared to flow to our temples. Finally Ryeowook managed to speak up.

" Yesung, please... do something for me, since I know this will be our last. " he spoke, and I raised my head.

" What is it? "

" Please, pull me in an embrace and kiss me for the last time... just like we always do all the time... " I didn't want to do this, but I felt a tiny bit of pitiness to him. So I pulled him to a warm embrace, and kissed him. A sweet, tender kiss. After three straight minutes on that position, I slowly pulled out and touched my lips.

" Mian, Ryeowook. With all my heart I'm sorry. "

End Flashback

I placed back the picture frame at the bedside table. I also put Ddangkoma back to his cage with the others. I reminisced the moment Ryeowook and I just had earlier, and I wiped my lips with my hand. The kiss we had is tender but sweet, but the memory is otherwise.

I can still feel the warmth of his body in our last embrace. I wanted to erase everything now, I want to move on. I wanted for him to be happy and find himself a better boyfriend than I am. My vision slowly becomes blurry, and little did I know that tears are flowing from my eyes. And that's somewhat a good thing, cold tears will wash those memories away.

I have this disease where our love is slowly dying. It hurts a bit, if you ask me. But I don't want to get better. And as every single memory is erasing, we go back at the times we are strangers. The times before our training.

And now my body just felt tired. I want to rest now....

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A.N: Oh sweet Jesus, a fail angsty fanfic. Anyway, if you enjoyed (or became depressed or what), share me your thoughts. Comments are always loved.