So-eul's POV : It was our 2 months anniversary today. We had decided to celebrate it by spending the day together at Xiumin's place. Usually , we would end up going to places that I decided and spend time there. Xiumin never really argued with places . He would simply follow me around to wherever I decided on going without a word. He never spoke much on our "dates" I'd say . I rarely even remember him smiling when we were together. Yes , it was me who had confessed my feelings to him and surprisingly , he had agreed going out with me . I was a bit shocked with his reply but too soon had I found the answer to it .... He was in love , with someone. He had been in love with her for quite sometime but she never really loved him back sincerely. She was his only girlfriend and his first love . But , there was someone else whom she loved and ... was soon gonna get married to him . Xiumin knew that . He had congratulated them both and told her he was happy for them but his feelings for her had still not disappeared. Possibly , he wanted to get over those feelings of his for her and that's the reason why he had agreed to go out with me . I was being used as a pawn so that he could get over her. Maybe he wanted to get off thoughts related to her from his head and keeping himself busy with things could help him with that. I knew about it all , I knew that I was being used . A day would come when he would tell me the truth and that day , everything would end. I knew all of it , but I still could not help myself from staying away from him . I was selfish , I knew that I would be hurt in the end but I wanted to spend sometime with him . I wanted to know more about him . His favourite colour, his favourite destination in the world , his hobbies , what are the things he likes , the things he hates , things that make him smile , things that hurt him , everything. I wanted to know everything about him. I wanted him to look at me , atleast a little , spend atleast a little time only with me , atleast think about a few thoughts that included me. I wanted him to fall in love with me . For real. I knew that wasn't really gonna happen but a small part of my heart really wished that it did. I loved him , possibly a lot more than I think I did and that was the reason maybe , that I was ready to be hurt. We usually went out at places to celebrate events , like for our 1 month anniversary we visited an amusement park together and then had dinner at a nearby restaurant . Xiumin never got too involved in anything but he would not fail to be his kind and his helpful self. That was in his blood afterall and nothing could stop him from being that way. Sometimes I really got conceited with myself because of his warmth. Thinking that he did all that because he cared for me and was worried about me , I sure was getting ahead of myself. I knew I was only misjudging things so that they gave me temporary happiness but I just could not help that. Today , was sure an exception. Xiumin had called me up in the morning asking me to come to his place to celebrate our anniversary. I was really happy and excited about it because this was possibly the 1st time ever that Xiu had taken the initiative of deciding the meeting spot and that too choosing his own house as it. That sure was a bit wierd .He had been acting a bit wierd since the past few weeks . I had gotton to see many sides of his. He was more quite and an 'I-don't-speak-a-lot' type of a person , he never spoke about his personal life or family much but now , he did. He had began opening up to me about his family , his friends and also about his past. There were also times when I saw him smile genuinely . That really made me feel happy . Atleast I was his friend now . Sure I was bestowed by the title of "Girlfriend" but in its real sense , it held no meaning. Collecting all my scattered thoughts together , I begin getting ready to head over to Xiu's place. -----×----- Xiumin's POV : It was our two months anniversary today. I wanted to celebrate that in a different way. Usually it was always So-eul who made plans for our dates and I would just follow her around . But today , I wanted to be the one taking the initiative. Things were changing. Yes , they sure were. We both had gone through many phases in our relationship . What had all started as an escape from the harsh reality and a broken heart for me , soon began turning into something I could no longer think of living without. I still remember the day when So-eul confessed to me. Her nervous face, trembling legs and innocent smile when she confessed , were satisfying enough to prove all her love and feelings towards me. Yeah . I had accepted going out with her but not because I loved her or had feelings for her , but because I was tired of my pathetic self . I was tired of being so madly in love with someone who I knew , would never love me back . My first girlfriend and my first love, Jin. We had dated for a few months , but it just did not work . How would it , when her heart was already captured by someone else. She was gonna get married to him soon. I was happy for her and thought that things would go smoothly for me too , but I guess I was wrong. I was still stuck up on her. My heart remaining at the same place she left it . I could not blame her, afterall, one does not decide with whom they get to fall in love with, right ? I had to move on. I had to mend my broken heart. I had to give up on her. I had to direct my thoughts that revolved around her , elsewhere. I had to get out into the world and be the Xiumin I was before. I had to change. .. and during all this mess , when So-eul confessed to me , that just seemed the best escape. Without thinking much about it , I agreed going out with her. Yes , So-eul was gonna be the ones to direct my encircled thought about Jin. So-eul was gonna be the one to get the old Xiumin back , the Xiumin who did not care about the world , the Xiumin who did not believe in love . Getting myself busy with a few wordly stuffs would definitely help. Yes , I was gonna use her as pawn to get back to my old life . Use her to find my old self back and once that was done , throw her away. That , was practically what I had decided upon but I guess things don't always go as you plan them to. The first few weeks of dating were annoying. Replying to her messages that kept coming on a regular basis , the boring dates where we never seemed to do anything but walk around awkwardly , without even talking much to each other and the 'Thankyou for your time today, it was fun' which she kept mentioning on our every single meet . Everyone has their own enthusiasm around when they begin dating someone , but that soon disappears within the first few weeks . That's what I thought it was, but as for her , things never changed . Even after a month , her messages kept coming , her 'thankyous' always made their way out of her lips . Her warmth never decreased , not even an inch . It somehow , just seemed to keep growing more and more. The fake warmth that I portrayed , somehow made me ashamed of myself. No matter how rude or cold I behaved with her sometimes , she never minded that , not a single word of objection , not a single word of rejection . She always had that big bright smile on her face which somewhere melted something within me and burned something else . No matter whose fault it was or who was the one to be blamed , she always took all blames upon herself , always being the first one to apologise. She was trying really hard . Really hard , to save and treasure our relationship . She did not give me a single reason to complain , a single reason to worry about . All she ever gave me was alot of happiness and possibly an immeasurable amount of love . Love that wasn't asked , but yet given . Love that wasn't forced but true . Love that I did not return but she never stopped giving more. How could I break her heart if she was so good to me ? How could I keep lying to her , when her feelings were so sincere ? How could I not fall in love with her , when she was the best thing that had ever happened to me in my entire lifetime ? Her shy smile , her pretty face , her long hair , her nervous words , her sincere laugher , her honest feelings , her endless love ... which one of these reasons did I actually fall for ? Heh. I guess all of them . Yeah , I fell in love with her. When did that happen ? No idea. How did that happen ? No idea. But , it just happened. And I am glad that it happened. I was tired of keeping her in disguise. I did not want to lie to her anymore. I had to tell her the truth . The real reason why I had said yes to going out with her. At times , I thought it wasn't necessary to bring old topics out , because that would only hurt her , but if our relationship was built on the basis of a lie , how would it last ? So after a long dilemma with my inner self , I decided to tell her the truth today . I would tell her the truth , ask for her forgiveness and request one chance to be a better boyfriend. I know what I did in the past was unforgivable and heartless , but I was ready for my punishment. I was ready to do anything to be forgiven .I was ready to do anything to not lose her. Coming out of all my thoughts , I looked at the watch and began preparing dinner as the time for our date was almost near. -------END OF POV------- You decide on wearing a plain , full sleved navy blue top along with your black skin fitted denims. You leave your waist length black hair lose . Applying light make up , you check youself in the mirror. You weren't the type to dress up to impress people or apply make up , heck , makeup just wasn't your style . Even though you knew that dressing up and trying to look pretty wasn't going to chance anything , but a small part of your heart still wanted him to think that you looked good. Once done , you get a hold of your cell phone and place it into your pant pocket . Slinging your bag around your shoulders , you head towards the door . Just when you were about to leave , you remember something . Smacking yourself lightly over you head , you mumble a 'How could I forget the main thing' as you enter your bedroom . You go towards the cupboard and pull out a pair of gloves , well wrapped in a silver coloured giftpaper. You had come over them 2 days back when you were visiting stores to buy Xiumin his anniversary gift. The gloves were white coloured and looked really beautiful. You knew that Xiumin was quite sensitive to cold and as your eyes landed on those gloves , you knew they would make a perfect gift for him. "I hope he likes it" you say to yourself with a small smile and placing it into your bag , you head to Xiumin's place. On your way to Xiumin's place , you keep thinking at to why did he called you at his place. You remember your phone call with Xiumin in the morning and how he asked you to if you'll could celebrate at his place . You then recollect him saying , that he wanted to speak to you about something. You start thinking of all the possible topics he could speak to you about. That's when THAT topic suddenly crosses your mind. Your eyes widen at the thought as an immense amount of pain seems to build up in your heart. "Is he gonna end it all today ?" . The sudden question seems to devour all your senses and your face begins turning pale. You try shaking all thoughts off you mind , but things just don't seem to help . You keep thinking about it the entire journey as you somehow try to prepare your heart for the about to happen events. As you reach Xiumin's apartment , taking a deep breath , you knock on the main door. You hear a few low footsteps heading towards you and with one small click , the door flies open to reveal Xiumin dressed in his usual jeans and a black T-shirt. His eyes go wide as he see's you . The open left hair , the faint make up and your nervous smile does not seem to miss his eyes. He knew that you weren't the type of person who usually applies makeup, but today you did. He knew that you weren't the type of person to let your hair down. You were more of the pigtail girl, but today you had left them down. It wasn't difficult for him to say that today , you had taken your own sweet amount of time to dress up , to look good and that , sure was visible . You looked beautiful. Not that you otherwise did not , but today , today was different . The thought of you dressing up to look good MAYBE for him , soothed his crazyly beating heart somewhere . You give him a small smile and mouth a "Hello" which gets him back to reality. He swiftly pulls his eyes off you and replies a "Hey" followed by a "Come in" . As you get into the room , Xiumin tells you to sit on the sofa as he switches on the TV and puts on a movie . He hands over the remote to you and tell you that he will be back with some popcorn . "Do you need any help ?" you ask him. He nods and replies a "No" with a small smile. You make yourself comfortable on the sofa as the movie begins. You hear Xiumin coming towards you with the popcorn bucket in his hand. He hands it over to you as he sits on the sofa next to you. You both watch the movie in complete silence as non of you speaks a word. The only times you'll spoke was while passing on the popcorn bucket to each other or when he tried to calm you down as you freaked out at the part where the female protagonist seemed to encounter some wierd extraterrestrial creature. As the movie came to an end , Xiumin asked you "How was the movie ?"."It was good but that part really freaked me out" you replied making a scared face. "It sure did" he replied with a chuckle and gets off the sofa to head towards the kitchen. You follow him to the kitchen. You watch him move some bowls and dishes from the kitchen island on to the dinning table. "Want some help ?" you ask him . "Umm..." he seemed to think a bit . Looking at the table and then back to you , he replies with a "Sure" . He points out to a few glasses and notions you to place them on to the table. You do so. Once everything was done , you both sit down at the dinning table and begin with your dinner. A few talks about the movie take place while you both have your dinner. You also compliment Xiumin about the delicious food and he blushes and replies a "Thanks". Once done , you both go back to the hall to sit there for a while. After a while of silence , Xiumin clears his throat a bit which pulls your attention towards him. "So-eul " , Xiumin tells you as you look at him , "I wanted to talk to you about something" he says. "About ? " you ask him with a smile on your face . "Us" he replies. Your breath suddenly seems to be caught off . "Us ?" you manage to say which barely comes out audible. "Yeah , its... been a while since I wanted to say this to you" he says. Standing up from the sofa, he makes sure to avoid any eye contact with you. "When I accepted going out with you " he starts "it wasn't because I loved you or had feelings for you" and your heart rate suddenly seems to shoot up . "There was this girl that I loved "he says and with his words , your heart begins sinking. " We broke up awhile back , but I wasn't over her " he says. You could not understand why his words were hurting you so much . It wasn't that you did not know about the truth already. You did , but hearing it out from his mouth , just seemed to hurt so much more than it did before. "I was stuck up and wanted to get over her and that's the reason why , I accepted goings out with you "he says with his head bowed low. "I used you , to get over her. I used your feelings towards me. I played with them for my selfishness . I lied to you . I know I don't deserve forgiveness but I ... I'm sorry ..really sorry ..." he completes with a sad face and a head bowed low. "Hahahaa... its okay Xiumin , I know about it already" you reply with a big smile on your face. Xiumin's eyes go wide at you reply and he looks your way with a surprised face. "You ... knew already ?" He asks you as he looks at you. "Yeah , I knew about it" you reply. "Are you .." you try asking him but choke halfway . Clearing your throat , you complete your sentence ".. over her now ?" and somehow manage to put up a smile, trying your best to stop your tears from flowing . He looks at you blankly and without thinking much , he nods a yes. You smile widely at him. A smile of achievement and reply , " So now , since you have gotten over her.. " you say "...I guess you don't need me anymore. Let's end this then " you say and your throat seems to go all dry. Xiumin looks at you wide eyed , not understanding what you were saying. You knew you could not stand it anymore , you knew that a while more and you would break down, then and there. You could not do that . That would only make him feel guilty for your state and pity you . You did not want him to blame himself because of you . No . You had to leave , before it was too late . "So then , since its over , I guess I will be going back home now" you say as you make your way towards the door . Opening it you mouth an unaudible 'Thankyou' as your tears begin to pool down your cheeks. It was ending. Everything that you had worked so hard to build , was falling apart. You hoped that he would say something , you hoped that he would do something , but Xiumin seemed stuck in his own world of guilt and realisation to even think straight . Steping out of the apartment , you close the door behind you , making sure not to turn around and look at him. You did not have the guts to. No , you did not. Xiumin did not know what was happening . Things just seemed to happen too fast for him to process anything. All he understood was that you already knew about his lie. You already knew that he was lying to you and you still believed him . You already knew that he was using you , and you let yourself be used by him. You already knew that he did not love you , yet you continued loving him. He knew you loved him , but so much that you were even ready to go to the extent of breaking your own heart down just to mend his ...No , he did not know that . All he ever did was to be selfish and think about himself . Ignoring your feelings . Ignoring your love . You had gathered together the shattered pieces of his heart and glued them together . You had made his life meaningful again . You had taught him to love again . And with you walking out of his life , things seemed to shatter again. He had to stop you . He had to tell you his feelings for you . He had to prove his love to you . He had to do something to get everything back together and he knew if he missed this one change , it would be over. Getting a hold of himself , he rushed to the door and opening it rashly , he ran towards the lift . He tried pressing the lift button , but it seemed to take an infinity to reach . He decided to take the stairs and rushed downwards . As he walked down the first row of steps , he heard a few sobs and hickups. He knew it was you . He rushed further down and found you sitting on one of the steps with your knees hugged closely and your face burried deep within them. He approaches you quickly and kneeling on a step below , he face you. You notice Xiumin sit in front of you . You did not want to worry him , you tried your best to control your feelings and your tears , but you could not. "I ... I am really sorry Xiumin. ..I did not want to tro...trouble you ... I knew everything ... I was .. I was prepared for this day already. ..I knew you never.. loved.. but I don't know why .. I .. I'm really ..sorry.." you say in between sobs and sniffs. He looks at your red face and slightly swolen eyes. He was the reason behind your present state. He was the reason why you were hurt . He was the reason for your pain and he wanted to be the one to sooth it away . He slowly places his hands on your cheeks , cupping them and wipes the tears off your face with his thumb . He then slides his hands around your neck and placing his chin on your head , hugs you. You burry your face in his chest as you continue sobbing . He begins patting your head softly as you still sob into his chest . He whispers a few 'Shuuus..' and 'its okay' into your ears while you keep sniffing between your cry. "Oh my ~ Young couples these days" an old women passing by comments with a big smile on her face as she see's both of you hugging each other but you being too busy with your tears , fail to even hear her. Xiumin blushes brightly at the old lady's comment and bowing at her shyly he looks back at you . "Ahh... So-eul, you know ... this ..ermm.. isn't the right place to speak about these things ..." Xiumin tells you but he gets no reply . Sighing , he wraps one arm of his around your back and the other below your knees and picks you up . Too ashamed of your breakdown and the position you were in , you burry your face into his neck as you place your hands on his shoulders. Xiumin opens the door and getting into the hall , he places you on to the sofa . Kneeling in front of you , he gently begins caressing your cheek . You wipe of your tears rashly with the back of your palms but they just don't seem to end. Xiumin holds on to your hands and pulls them off your face. "I am sorry" he says . "I am sorry for all that I did . I am sorry for hurting you. I am sorry for lying to you . I am sorry for everything. .." he says softly. He lets go of one of your hands and places his hand back to your cheek . He begins whiping the wet tracks of your tears . " It was all only for myself at first , but... not anymore " he says " I don't want to lie to you any more , I don't want to hurt you anymore. I know what I have done was wrong and heartless .. but please .." he trails off "... please give me one more chance" . He slowly brushes your fingers with his as he looks into your eyes. "I love you" he whispers softly but loud enough for you to hear . "I really Love you So-eul and I promise you I will be a really good Boyfriend" he says. "I'll make you smile more , I'll take you to every place that you like for our dates , I'll prepare good food for you everytime you tell me to , I will take care of you , I will only think about you , I will only Love you ... but please .. just give me one chance So-eul .. Please .." he trails off with watery eyes . You did not really understand what was happening . Did Xiumin really say that he loved you ? Did your ears really hear right ? Before you even realise it , tears start dripping down your cheeks again. "So- .. So-eul .. what's wrong ? I'm sorry .. I .. I am really sorry .." Xiumin tells you but all you do is hug him tightly . He goes surprised at your sudden action but soon hugs you back . Much tigher. You smile within the hug and tighen your grip too. You both stay that way for a few minutes and you break apart , Xiumin looks at you with a smile . "So .. am I forgiven ?" he asks you and you nod with a smile while wiping your tears . He chuckles at you and helps you wipe them. He slowly caresses your cheek and says firmly "Be mine again . Be my girlfriend". You look at him with wide eyes and bright red cheeks. "Only on one condition" you say while playing with your fingers shyly . "And what's that ?" he asks raising an eyebrow . "Girlfriend service" you whisper turning red . "Huh ?" he looks at you with a confused look. Placing one finger on your forehead and tabbing it , you repeat again with a shy smile "Girlfriend service" . Xiumin blushes as he realises what that ment but without waiting a single minute , he kneels higher to place a soft kiss on your forehead. Breaking off , he looks at you in the eye and slowly , his eyes slip down at your lips . Looking back up to your eyes again , he slowly inches closer and as you feel his breath over your skin , you close your eyes shut . His lips slowly touch yours and you move them along with his. Breaking off for some air , you both look at each other with a bright smile on both your faces . He mumbles a soft 'I love you' to which you reply with an 'I love you too' as be bends in to capture your lips again. He hops on to the sofa next to you , wrapping his arms around your waist while his other hand digs into his pant pocket. He pulls out something and then pulls your left hand into his . He begins playing with your fingers for a while and after a moment , you feel something cold on your skin. You look down to see a pretty silver ring on your ring finger . You look at Xiumin with a surprised face and he smiles at you and shows you his left hand ,whose ring finger had the same ring as yours. He bends down to your ears and whispers 'Happy anniversary' to you. You smile brightly at him as a tear drop escapes your eyes. You remember about his gift too . Shuffling into your bag , you pull out the silver gift wrapped gloves out and place them into his hands. He smiles at the wrapped stuff warmly as you motion him to open it . He opens it up to find a beautiful white pair of gloves. Within a movement , he slips on the gloves onto his hands as he mutters a 'Thankyou' and pecks you on your forehead softly. -The End.