Does Hope Excist?

Walking all alone soaking wet in this cold rain again, walking to only God knows where. I just want to get this stupid thoughts out of my head that is been bothering me this pass week. I just want to get them out of my mind for good, I really hate feeling this way like if I was all lifeless. Don't get me wrong I'm not lifeless but damn is hell of cold too; where am I? getting a chance to look at my surroundings. The only thing I can see is darkness, perfect;

Damn where the hell am I? I'm not dead right? I said laughing at myself, well is not like if was that easy to disappear this days. Ouch I just hit my head with a stupid lamppost and for my luck the light just turn on, great; they should pay me for fixing it. Oh well now I know that I'm not dead gosh this really hurts. Heavy rain drops keeps hitting my already wet cloth and my body keeps getting colder as I keep walking to get out of this place and yes before you ask I forgot to bring my umbrella with me, just my luck.

I have been walking around 10 minutes now and finally, I see a street lights and people not to crowded but manageable to walk without bumping into someone. Thoughts are still coming into my head let's just say they are more than earlier, thoughts that honestly I really hope no one in this world should think of theme-self. I feel like I'm the worst person ever, that I'm useless, that I'm better person when I'm a loner, that I wish that I should disappear from the presence of people and never show myself out in public because of my looks, that a guy would never like a girl like me because I gained weight and I'm fat and look weird to society's stereo type, that no one like me, that I'm the ugliest human been...

Tears were starting to fall down again I hate my life right now, I hate this damn feeling this way. You probably have been thinking, why do I keep having this thoughts? but for me is super hard to get them off of my mind. Runing away from myself that would be great, I wish it tho that I could but I'm still stuck in this stupid thoughts. I'm so thanking the rain right now for covering my stupid tears and not letting people see me cry, I hate it when that happens because they started to ask me if I'm okay or even take pitty of me when I don't even like this much attention. I'm still walking lifeless in this street, I think I'm near my home right now, well I still don't know tho but whatever I can't cry at home anyways, since my parents and my little brother are there all the time and I can't let them see this side of me. I know that they love me but I still don't want them to worry about me, that's why I always get this chance when it rains so I can cry my pain out. Now I'm sobbing damn it my chest hurts a lot for all this pain I'm feeling is been so long since I haven't feel this painful.

Is been a few years since I started to feel this way, more tears are coming out now I have a blurry view. Thanks tears for blocking my view, wipping my tears I bump into something again really? "Aish damn lamppost always on my awesome way" I say out loud and keep walking while sobbing but I can hear someone asking me "Are you okay?" the hell am I hearing things or someone just notice me? nooooo runnnnn. I wipe my remaining tears but I stop and turn around and notice a figure not that tall neither that small, a little chubby I think but I can't see that well. I can see that the figure is walking towards me and keep asking "Are you okay there?" the person voice sounded so deep like a boy voice... wait what a boy voice? I turn around to see if he was talking to someone else but no I can feel his hand in my shoulder while in his other hand grabbing his headphones. He touch me...

His touch is very soft and calm it feels really nice and kind of warm. His touch is carasing, I never felt this way he makes me feel kind of... different. I know I'm probably overreacting since well no one has ever been this concern besides my family that's for sure, but he look so good. "Are you hurt somewhere, did I hurt you?" he ask again scaning me from head to toe. I just simply stare at him, his eyes meet mine and I really got lost in them and I think he did the same but he manage to see my glummy eyes and my bruise in my forehead "Did you hit yourself?" why he keep asking me if I'm okay? I just nodded awkwardly because for some reason my words didn't came out.

His so caring even with a stranger like me, why? So that means that they are not always mean and sarcastic people on earth. So that means there are still hope? Nah I think I'm just imaginathing things here.

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Hi everyone I'm back with this new fic,

I know I have been lost this pass few years, but I'm really focuss with my studies in collage.

I writed this story a year ago, well almost a year ago. But I keep delaying when will I keep writing it, I know is very sad.

[don't kill me for this]

but I writed this because I felt like this was a diary for me, so I can let go out of my sad emotions.

I decided to share it with you, bacause if you share the same thoughts like this story I just wanted to say that anything in life is possible only if you seak for what you are really looking foward to have in life.

I hope you like it,