Junior woke in a cold sweat.  His eyes, wide and bloodshot, stared at the white ceiling as the haunting images slowly dissipated from his mind.  With a heavy heart, he knew that past would never leave him.  Those dreams would never let him truly rest.  Her face, so beautiful with that angelic smile that never faded, would remain with him forever.  Intangibly.  For she was but an angel now, soaring through the clouds beyond his reach.

Sitting up, the broken man rested his elbows on his knees and ran a hand through his dark, unkempt locks.  A light stubble graced his shapely jaw, but he paid little mind to such.  Today marked the anniversary of the cold day she left him, three long years ago.  Even still, every time his eyes fluttered closed, he could see her - a ghost painted on the back of his eyelids.  But like the lingering images that remain when one closes their eyes, he could no longer see the finer details of her face.  She stood so vividly before him, yet as soon as he tried to focus on the freckles in her eyes or the dimples in her cheeks, the picture would blur and fade beyond recognition.

 

Seasons had come and gone. Memorised dates with lone significance to Junior had passed without celebration while he waited for the promise of healing to finally soothe his aching soul. And though that emptiness never left him, he did find pretending to be okay became easier with time. Faked smiles and forced laughs with his friends had begun to seem almost real. Still, there were days that he couldn't escape the crippling sympathetic frowns that only reminded him of his pathetic facade. He still lost moments to his wandering thoughts of ‘what if’s and ‘what could have been’s. There were still so many questions left unanswered and regrets that would forever lay heavily on his shoulders.

The biggest question of all was how he managed to keep living. As a werewolf, this went beyond the simple act of moving on. As a werewolf, his own life should have ended when his mate breathed her last breath -and in many ways it had. Yet, his heart continued its relentless rhythm, a steady, lonely beat. Like he had told Mark, “I feel dead, but my heart keeps beating.” Junior had merely been existing since she left this world, but that wasn't how it was supposed to be and living on truly only killed him all the more. A bond between mates went so much deeper than a human could comprehend. Werewolves loved with their whole being: mind, body, and soul. When you're intertwined with another in such a way, they truly become a part of you and it’s impossible to carry on without them. The death that ensued after losing a mate was a merciful trait for werewolves, proving all the more how compassionate and loyal the species is. So how and why was he still alive? That is a question that has baffled the pack and many experts beyond them since that fateful day.

“Junior! It's happened,” Youngjae announced, barrelling into his elder friend’s home. A wide, ecstatic grin nearly radiated a blinding light from the boisterous young wolf. He bounced in place, clearly unable to contain his excitement over recent events.

Contrasting to the overwhelming entity of energy, Junior slowly glanced up from his steaming cup of tea to raise a questioning eyebrow. He had felt a shift in the dynamics of the pack, a sure sign that something of significance had indeed taken place, but in his homage to this day, Junior had taken special care to distance himself and shelter his emotions away from the others.

For several months following her death, the pack not only endured Junior’s hollow presence amongst them but as werewolves, they shared in his undamped grief. Unselfishly, they truly did all they could to ease his suffering and he was inexplicably grateful to them. He could only imagine how it must have felt for them to sift through his overwhelming anguish as well as their own mourning over the loss. She had been such a perfect fit for their dysfunctional family. Each of the others shared in their own unique relationship with her; though none of them had the same bond with her as Junior, her death impacted them all.

There laid yet another reason that mates were to surrender to fate together. Packs were bonded together with empathy. It was a trait given to them in order to survive, to feel when another is in danger, to communicate when in wolf form. That empathy is not meant to torture the pack as a whole with raw, paralyzing emotions like those that swept over Junior when she left him. If they had been a lesser pack, surely that empathy would have torn them apart. If Junior had been a weaker man that didn't quickly learn to control and conceal his devastation, surely his own pack would have eventually imploded. And if they hadn't such an astoundingly strong alpha as JB whom miraculously held the pack together with an emotional blanket of brotherhood during their darkest days, surely things would have turned out much differently.

Suppressing a deep sigh, Junior sat his cup on the small table beside him and gave his full attention to Youngjae. Was it truly so much to ask for a single day to spend beside himself?  He had done his damnedest to assure the others would not follow him in his depressed state, but such interruptions threatened his resolve. Still, he didn't have the heart to turn away his younger friend, especially when he was riding a high from whatever events had taken place. Though Junior had lost a significant amount of his compassion, he still possessed a weakness for those in his pack. They were all that mattered to him. And he found himself mildly curious as to just what it was that had caused such a static charge throughout the pack.

“Alright, I'll bite. What happened?”

Youngjae's smile widened all the more causing Junior to almost wince as he silently questioned how the boy’s face could possibly contort in such a way. The elder almost wondered if he had made a mistake in inviting his friend to relay whatever exciting news he may be bearing. Unfortunately, it was too late to retract his inquiry now.

“He finally found her. JB found his mate!” Youngjae nearly squealed with joy.

It was a long awaited event for them. A pack does not reach their full strength until their alpha pairs with his mate. For JB to finally find the girl he's meant to be with was excellent news for those Junior considered family, he couldn't help but feel mildly dismayed with the information. Of course, the fates would have it that his darkest day was a day of elation for the rest of his pack. While he's left to his own devices, wallowing in his own self-pity, the others would celebrate. The day that he forever lost his lover was the day their leader found his.

Swallowing his cynical feelings, Junior gave a curt nod to show his appreciation for the revelation. He was happy for JB; truly, he was happy for the whole pack. At the same time, he couldn't help but feel singled out and punished for some unknown reason. Why must he be tormented with this sadness? What has he done to deserve such a cruel wrath from whatever higher power there might be? Why was he meant to suffer in such a way?

Junior his lips and stared blankly at Youngjae. “Youngjae, do you realise what today is?”

The other male paused in confusion over the random question. “Ummm… Thursday?” He guessed hesitantly, unsure of the answer Junior was looking for. The elder wolf only stared blankly at him, waiting for the dots to connect. And sure enough, they did. The bright excitement in Youngjae’s eyes dulled as he realised the significance of the date. “Junior, I- I’m sor-”  With a raised hand, Junior silenced Youngjae’s apology.  They were useless words that he’s heard countless times over the past three years that did absolutely nothing to soothe him.  Youngjae awkwardly shifted on his feet.  “I don’t suppose you want to celebrate with the pack then…”  Junior gave him a silent ‘what do you think?’ look, continuing to deflate the poor young man’s elation.  The frown that pulled at the corners of Youngjae’s lips also plucked at the elder’s guilt.  

Dropping his face into the palm of his hand, Junior returned his own apology.  “Just not today, Youngjae.  I just need today to myself, okay?”  

Youngjae gave a quick, understanding nod.  “No, yeah, I understand.  You take all the time you need.  Just- uh… Call or whatever if you need anything, okay?”  He self-consciously scratched the back of his head, imploding in on himself for his negligence.  This only made Junior feel all the worse for bringing it up.  “I’ll just go now.”  The younger wolf gave a quick, polite bow as he backed awkwardly toward the door he had entered through.

 

The door creaked against its ill fit in the wooden frame as Youngjae pulled it shut behind himself, once again leaving Junior alone in his deafening thoughts.  The silence that ensued only made his guilt all the more insufferable.

It struck him like a bolt of lightning from the heavens - unexpected and nearly painful in its intensity.  The breath was drawn from him, yet he was left with the surreal feeling of never needing to inhale ever again.  His lungs were filled with the lightest air that needed no exhale.  Thank goodness, because he had surely forgotten how to perform the act of breathing in that moment.

Jaebum had visited the small cafe -settled in a quaint suburb of the city- countless times.  Every time he visited the city for supplies, he stopped in for his usual bacon double cheeseburger with extra bacon on the side and slice of homemade pie.  But today he found himself with a hunger for something completely different.  It was a hunger so ravenous that it nearly consumed him from the inside out.  Over the usual welcoming musty scent of the dated booths and the fried food being prepared for the small crowd of regulars was something that JB had never before encountered.  It was such a potent fragrance that caused even the ever composed pack leader to flounder momentarily.  Even beyond the enticing essence, the beautiful stranger emitted was the raw, primal heartache of his instant need for her.  Her voice was like the sweetest melody he had ever heard as she spoke casually to the waitress refilling the glass of water before her.  The afternoon sun cast a golden halo over her dark locks, making her all the more ethereal.  Even at the distance in which he stood from her, Jaebum could see she possessed a delicate beauty that was often overlooked by others.  She had a gentle charm about her that would have drawn him to her even without his suddenly raging, primal hormones sending him through a whirlwind of emotions.  His eyes widened with the realization that he had finally found his mate.

Though many humans have claimed to experience a moment of love at first sight, that initial draw is absolutely nothing compared to the overpowering enthrallment a werewolf experiences when they find the one they are destined to be with.  A wolf’s bond goes far beyond the physical attraction of humans.  To experience the mingling of your own chemistry with its counterpart is indescribable.  It dominates every part of your being, pulling you to that other with a force that is undeniable.  JB was no exception and it frightened him.  He was accustomed to being in control, whether it be over the pack or his own feelings, he always had a firm grasp on the situation.  The last time he had lost that control, Junior lost his mate…

Before JB could pull himself from his own turmoil, the middle-aged waitress noticed his entrance and smiled at him.  “Jaebum! Back so soon?” she greeted in her gravelly female voice with a welcoming timbre.  The woman smiled kindly as she placed his slice of pie on the counter, only a stool away from his destined match.  “I’ll put in an order for your usual.”

Jaebum momentarily hesitated before finally seating himself stiffly on the stool.  His eyes were trained on his piece of the pie as he fought to find an appetite for the treat while his enticing mate sat only a few feet away still driving him wild with the scent she’s unknowingly emanating.  

“Dessert first?” a canorous voice spoke from beside him.  Her soft tone held a note of amusement that did not go unnoticed.

The alpha wolf could not help but smile to himself as he realized she too felt the gravitation between them.  With the most charming smile he could muster, he turned to her.  “Life’s short and all,” he commented, referring to the cliché advice.  

The woman snickered before revealing the small plate in front of herself that was empty aside from the few remaining crumbs of her own slice of pie.  “My grandma used to tell me to eat the sweet first so everything else is easier to swallow.”

Jaebum found himself completely captivated with the woman.  Not only was she remarkably beautiful, but she had such an angelic grace about her.  When he looked into her eyes he found such warmth.  They had a soft welcoming in their brown depths, unlike anything he had ever seen before.  They were pools of liquid color and emotion that told great tales of the strength and compassion this woman held.  JB knew instantly that she was unlike anyone he had ever met.  But there in those eyes he found another stunning revelation that sent his mind racing through panicked thought once again.

His mate was human.