It’s cancer. Her father only gets worse and worse every day. Doctors tell her that they do what they can, that they put a lot of effort, that his father’s agony will not last very long.

Seolhyun does not cry. Father’s little girl does not have time to cry. She has to do something; she has to save him somewhat. But she can’t, because she is not a doctor and because she can’t fight against hundreds of cells growing uncontrollably day by day. She can do nothing; she just sits there, in the waiting room, completely alone in the new hospital two blocks away from her house.

It’s big but not comfortable. It’s new so people do not have enough trust on it. She is usually alone in the white waiting room. There are some plants, dead (how ironical) flowers and tons of blue velvet chairs.

Seolhyun can just wait. She does not know what she is waiting. Maybe a “your father will live perfectly from now on” (but she knows it’s impossible, her illness is too grave) or a “you father passed away, I’m sorry”.

Because she just KNOWS that her father is suffering, that he must be in hell, that agony is worse than death. Her father loved to live, he used to smile every second he breathed. He used to be all happy and cheerful; you could just smile after the sight of her child yet charming behavior.

That was until the doctor told them that he has cancer. Those happy days never came back; he tried to smile but it was just too difficult and hard to keep, so he stopped trying. He didn’t do jokes anymore, not even once.

Seolhyun tried to calm herself, she kept whispering “it’s going to be alright”; she went to school for some days but she eventually dropped out to be full time with her father.

Some days, her father didn’t even wake up. Some days, he spoke a lot. Some days, he drank a glass of water. Some days, he didn’t even eat a little part of his food.

Seolhyun could see the clear signs. Pale, thin, out of breath, weak, tired, exhausted. He needed to go to the hospital, and quickly. The taxi driver helped her to carry the man, they placed him in the back sits. Seolhyun’s father didn’t even notice.

~-~-~

She is usually alone in the waiting room, that’s why she is pleasingly surprised when a beautiful girl, with blond and pink hair steps in the same place she is. The new girl smiles at her and nods, a typical greet. Seolhyun does the same.

A few questions appear in her mind, the usual ones; why is she here? She is too beautiful to suffer. Is her father, mom, sister or whatever she is here for okay? Is it serious or not? Did he or she have any chance?

Seolhyun has to bite her lips to stop the words. She doesn’t want to scare her or make her feel uncomfortable. Seolhyun knows how it is to wait for something (that you don’t even know what it is), and it’s hard, very rough.

The girl doesn’t look happy, at all but she can’t see any sign of sadness or anger. She just has the most peaceful expression that she has ever seen. The blonde-pink haired girl takes out an e-book from her bag, she unlocks it and starts to read it.

She does that every day for a week. The girl is absolutely stunning to Seolhyun’s eyes. She uses just pastel colors and her hair is tied in a different way day by day. She reads all the time she waits, she enters to the room next to her father’s when she is allowed to do so and then leaves.

Seolhyun can just stare at her, making that questions in her head and trying to find an answer, imagine stories; she’s not that successful. The girl can be here for a lot of reasons, a lot of people. And she doesn’t show anything, not even her feelings. Seolhyun is not able to deduce a single thing, and she’s too tired to do that.

She yawns. It’s been a while since the last time she was a whole day in her home. The white, lonely and big waiting room it’s her new house. Sometimes, she goes buffet that is in the other side of the hospital. Sometimes, she prefers to starve herself. What if the doctor calls her when she is eating? What if something happens when she is too far away?

She’s hungry too. But she can stand it, she can bear it and go on. Her father was the worst cooker ever, he had that innocent smile when he tried and the kitchen was almost set on fire.

“Are you tired?” an unknown voice asks. Seolhyun lifts her head. The girl with blonde and pink hair watches her straight into the eyes, the younger nods and blushes.

“How long have you been here?”

“Months”

The silence can be compared to the symphony of muted voices that you hear in a cemetery.  The girl in front of her smiles lightly, a grin that, somewhat, gives her hope and that relaxes her.

“Well, it’s lunch time, what about some awful sandwiches and a bottle of water from the vending machine?”

Seolhyun laughs. She looks at the door of the room where her father is. Would he mind if he knew? God, she hopes not, because she is absolutely going.

~-~-~

Her name is Hyejeong, she is just a year older than Seolhyun. She wants to be a lawyer; she lives with her best friend Mina. Seolhyun wanted to ask why she goes to the hospital, who is she suffering for. But she hadn’t enough courage to ask. They had a light conversation about life; both seem to be very unfortunate in almost everything, which is good. The only sign that Seolhyun could ever had good luck is her father and he is dying, so it’s nice to find somebody whose situation is the same as her. It’s a way to look at their lives and say “Well, it’s but it could be worse”

Well, but it could be better too. She doesn’t say it, she’s not optimistic at all. Hopes for her father to survive are there, shaking her heart, they make her tremble, but the sensible part of her tells her that he will not survive. It’s an intense fight of feelings inside her that she can’t control.

“Oh, hi Seolhyun” she greets, the next day when they are more comfortable with each other.

“Hyejeong, how are you?”

The older girl looks at the door of the room when she enters every day at the same time, she sighs and then shrugs “Fine” Seolhyun laughs bitterly “And you?”

Now, Seolhyun takes a glance of the room where her father is, lying in the bed, ready to live, not so ready to die. “Same”

Silence, again. But are comfortable ones.

“How your exams were?” Seolhyun quietly asks.

“Fine. I think I will drop out, anyways”

“Why?” she quickly adds. She is sure Hyejeong would do an awesome work as a lawyer.

“I don’t have enough time”

And Seolhyun nods because she understands. She had to drop out of school too, anyways. It’s way easier when you don’t have homework or things to do.  If her father gets better, she has to go to the university. It’s a promise to whatever god is up there.

But, if her father dies, there’s no ing deal.

~-~-~

“Shin Chanmi’s relative, Shin Hyejeong?” a nurse enters in the waiting room and asks, a notebook in both of her hands, reading from it Hyejeong’s name.

Seolhyun and she were having a light conversation about the times when they were freshmans. The older excuses herself and stands up; she takes a last glance in Seolhyun’s direction and the younger nods, trying to give her hope.  Hyejeong smiles lightly, is forced but Seolhyun finds amazing that the older smiles even if it hurts.

She is now alone, there are more people in the waiting room since the hospital is now more trusted and famous, the room it’s not filled but Seolhyun feels asphyxiated. She is alone because there is no one to talk to. Hyejeong just left and the other are just too worried, too sad, too angry to have a conversation.

She understands them, t