Cancer, Jonghyun had cancer. The idea, the very thought of cancer made Minho want to be sick. It made him want to cry, and call Jonghyun immediately. But then Minho remembered the casual way Jonghyun had sauntered back into his life, as if he had never left. It was worse when he thought of how Jinki had spoken to Jonghyun like he knew him, and when the truth came out. The connection between Jonghyun and Jinki, it sent all kinds of horrible images through his brain.

It made Minho feel sick at the thought that maybe Jinki was sent by Jonghyun. It seemed wrong to think that way, but a part of Minho couldn't help but whisper what if Jinki didn't have feelings for you, what if Jonghyun asked him to look out for you, if Jonghyun sent Jinki to you. However the logical part of Minho's brain would reject such a crazy idea, surely it was insane and there was no way Jinki (or Jjong) would do such a thing. Minho knew that Jonghyun loved him, and he would never do that. The problem was that because the idea had been planted, it sat in the back of Minho's thoughts taunting him and making him doubt himself (and his love for both Jonghyun and Jinki).

Other little voices piped up telling Minho he was insane for thinking that he could love both of them. The voices reminding him that he had lived with Jonghyun, and he had been happy, but with Jinki they hadn't lived together yet. Therefore the voices suggested he should take the safe route with Jonghyun, but it hurt when Minho thought of a life without Jinki. Minho hated being at home because he was tormented by his thoughts and confusion over Jinki and Jonghyun. Work at least was a distraction and he could for the most part lose himself in his work, the problem was going home everyday to a house saturated with memories of both Jonghyun and Jinki.

Part of Minho wanted to just run and hide. Never contact either again, but at the thought of not seeing either face again, Minho felt a wrench in his chest. He felt pathetic and hopeless, for wanting to flee and for being unable to leave. After a few days, a little voice invaded Minho’s thoughts and he felt guilty, because of how he was acting. The voice suggested - what if you were wrong, what if Jinki wasn’t sent by Jonghyun. What if Jonghyun really loves you, what if Jinki loves you too? Aren’t you the heartless bastard then?

It took several days before Minho could think rationally about the whole situation, although he still had no idea what to do. The guilt and sudden realisation that he hadn't even let either Jinki and Jonghyun explain anything hit him. Biting his lip Minho decided to contact them both, and without really thinking he found himself sending a message to Jinki first, scared that Jinki wouldn't even show up. Minho's heart was pounding so fast while he waited for Jinki to arrive, and he felt such relief when Jinki showed up. It felt good to see Jinki again, even if Minho felt guilty when he saw how pale and tired Jinki looked.

“I can understand why you called me here,” Jinki stood awkwardly in the door way, and it hurt to see Jinki like that. “I mean I knew you loved Jonghyun, so I understand that we should break up. You belong with Jonghyun, not me. Bye Minho,” Jinki sounded serious , but his sudden words shocked Minho into silence because it wasn't what he expected at all. Minho tried to get his brain to work, to remember the words he wanted to say to Jinki, but part of him agreed with Jinki and by the time he reacted it was too late, Jinki was gone.

Minho stood by the door staring out at nothing and feeling confused about what was the right thing to do. Minho loved Jonghyun, but it shouldn't hurt this much to break up with Jinki, should it? Minho squeezed his eyes shut, wondering if he should phone Jinki and talk to him, because it just felt so wrong to end things like that. Jinki hadn't even waited to hear Minho's words or feelings, and it hurt to think of Jinki just leaving like that. Minho's heart ached, and wordlessly he turned to go into the house to phone Jinki and beg him to reconsider it. But at the same time, it felt selfish to do that, to expect Jinki to sit around while Minho worked out his own feelings.

While Minho was struggling to sort out what he should do, a noise made him look up to see Jonghyun standing there, smiling in at him. Minho breathed in deeply, glad to see Jonghyun too, even if it just made him feel more confused and unsure. The way Jonghyun stood, fidgeting made Minho feel uncomfortable, and it was unusual to see Jonghyun so unsure of himself.

“Hi, I know you didn't want to see me,” Jonghyun trailed off, gulping, “but I couldn't stay away. I wanted to see you, and yeah I hoped you'd want to see me too. I guess it was stupid of me to just... turn up like I did.” Minho shook his head slowly, biting his lip as he motioned for Jonghyun to come in. Minho figured he would just have to talk to Jinki later, and maybe it would be easier to sort his own feelings out once he had talked to Jonghyun.

“Actually I was going to call you,” Minho shrugged softly, “I realised it wasn't fair how I reacted the other day and I need to talk to you too.” Minho bit his lip, feeling so incredibly awkward, they had broken up so why did it feel so weird to tell Jonghyun about Jinki. Jonghyun nodded his head slowly, frowning as he stood there waiting, it made Minho feel uncomfortable with the way Jonghyun just stared at him.

“I don't know what to think really, Jjong,” Minho bit his lip, “with the way you just turned up again, I guess you thought... that I wouldn't have moved on.” Minho frowned and shook his head, this was coming out all wrong. He hadn't actually moved on, but he was still going out with Jinki. Minho glanced over to see Jonghyun standing stiffly, but he didn't look as shocked as Minho expected.

“I'm not saying, god this is so awkward,” Minho groaned, feeling his heart pound as he tried to think about what he needed to say, “that I moved on completely, I still love you Jjong. But I was going out with Jinki-hyung,” Minho bit his lip, blinking his eyes rapidly as he stared across at Jonghyun, who frowned and then just stood there with an unreadable expression.

“I guess it was really naïve of me... to just assume you'd just want me back.” Jonghyun shook his head slowly, “having cancer just made me realise that I loved you so much. But I never wanted to hurt you, or make you suffer.” Jonghyun nodded his head slowly, and Minho realised he wanted to ask so many things.

“So... is the cancer gone?” Minho asked, “or are you still getting treatment? It hurt so much when you left me, I don't even understand why you did something like that. Jjong, why did you just go like that?” Minho shook his head slowly, feeling the pain resurfacing as he thought about how bad he felt when Jonghyun left. At the rate he was going, he would be too upset for work the next day and Minho couldn't afford another day off.

“Hopefully,” Jonghyun fidgeted with his hands, “I'm in remission, it could come back but the doctors were confident that they got it all.” Minho nodded his head, feeling ten times more relieved to hear that, glad to know that Jonghyun was okay.

“I'm sorry for... barging in here like I did the other day,” Jonghyun shrugged and pursed his lips together, “I still love you, but I feel bad for messing things up between you and hyung. I mean, don't get me wrong, hell I want you back so badly.” Jonghyun let out a bitter laugh, making Minho feel sick on the inside, god he wanted Jonghyun back too, but he also wanted Jinki.

“Jjong,” Minho started, biting his lip, but Jonghyun waved a hand in his face and stopped Minho from speaking.

“Look, I'll just continue staying with my friend for now, and um, I'll come and visit you okay?” Jonghyun smiled, standing up slowly, “And I hope we can sort things out okay? I love you, Minho, I'll see you soon.” Jonghyun smiled, reaching across to grip Minho's hand lightly.

“Okay,” Minho smiled back, it hurt but he knew it was probably for the best, after all he still had to sort out his own feelings. Once Jonghyun had left, Minho found himself dialling Jinki's number, he just wanted to hear his voice and talk to him, but the phone rang and rang before going into the answerphone. Minho sighed and then hung up.

Everyday after work, Minho would go home and find Jonghyun lounging around on the steps waiting for him. It felt good to be able to see him again, but there was a twinge in his chest when Jonghyun asked about Jinki. Minho tried to contact Jinki, but he never answered his phone, and Minho hated the way he couldn't find Jinki anywhere either.

Minho was determined to go to the hair salon and talk to Kibum, but Jonghyun was waiting for him outside of work, and when he tried to explain it to Jonghyun, he told him to just leave it. Minho bit his lip, frowning because he didn't want to just leave it. Minho wanted to talk to Jinki, he wanted to see his smile, and watch him blush and stutter.

Jonghyun pressed a hand to Minho's back, comforting him and when he mutters, “maybe Jinki-hyung just wants some space.” Minho couldn't really believe it, but then he has nothing else to believe either, since Jinki won't answer his phone and Minho hasn't been able to see him. Minho sighed, thinking about how he had turned up at Jinki's apartment, several mornings in a row and during lunch time on other days. No one was home, and the notes he left were never replied to.

It frustrated the hell out of Minho that he couldn't talk to Jinki at all, and Minho didn't want to break up with Jinki (although there was Jonghyun to consider). Basically Minho didn't want things to end up that way, he never wanted to dump Jinki so he could go back to Jonghyun. Each day that passed and Minho failed to get in contact with Jinki, brought Jonghyun closer still, because he was there everyday.

After a week, it seemed as if Jonghyun had moved in. Jonghyun had found the spare key and let himself in to cook, and clean. Minho didn't say anything when Jonghyun's clothes appeared in the closet, and he claimed he had nowhere else to go, his friend had kicked him out. Minho bit his lip, thinking it wasn't good if Jinki did turn up, but at the same time it felt like home with Jonghyun there again. Minho couldn't say no to Jonghyun, even if he desperately wanted to contact Jinki.

It felt good to no longer be alone, but Minho found that despite Jonghyun being there, he missed Jinki too. Minho hated himself for that, because he loved Jonghyun and it felt wrong to miss Jinki so much, but at the same time he felt bad that Jinki wasn't there too. Minho shut his eyes as he slumped down on the couch, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. Minho breathed in deeply, deciding to go and see if he could see Jinki, he felt a little guilty for not telling Jonghyun but Minho didn't want to burden him. Minho could see that Jonghyun was tired, he kept sleeping and sleeping.

Writing a quick note, Minho dashed out the door jogging quickly down to Jinki's apartment. It was still pretty early, and Minho hoped that maybe today he'd be lucky, maybe Jinki would talk to him. Minho smiled when he saw that the milk and newspaper were still outside, and he picked them up before knocking on the door and waiting. Minutes ticked by and no one answered, sighing softly Minho put the milk down, before writing a small note in the blank space at the top of the newspaper. Please Jinki, can't we talk at least? I really miss you.

Pouting at the door Minho turned and made his way home again, walking slowly and completely lost in his thoughts. It made Minho laugh how when he was with Jinki, he said he loved Jonghyun, but now he couldn't get Jinki out of his thoughts. It made Minho feel like a bastard, maybe he just wanted what he couldn't have? Pursing his lips together, he stood at the traffic lights waiting, maybe he was a bastard but when he thought about Jinki it made him want to smile, and so did Jonghyun.

If Minho thought of the happiest times in his life, he couldn't help but think of both Jonghyun and Jinki. It was no longer just Jonghyun who popped into his thoughts, or just Jinki. Sighing Minho frowned and walked into a shop to buy something for breakfast so Jonghyun wouldn't suspect where he had been.

“Minho... are you glad I came back?”

Minho felt the knife he was holding slip from his fingers, he tensed in front of the sink. Was is that obvious that he missed Jinki? Minho felt guilty, he turned slowly as Jonghyun handed him the knife he dropped.

“You could've cut yourself,” Jonghyun frowned squeezing Minho's shoulder, “be careful baby.”

“Why would you even ask me that?” Minho finally spoke, “you know I missed you, of course I am glad you're back.” Why don't you admit that you miss Jinki too, huh? Don't you feel guilty for lying? Minho glanced down at the table, frowning slightly, as he tried to ignore his inner voice.

“And Jinki-hyung?” Minho stiffened as Jonghyun touched Minho's arm lightly, fingers down his arm, “You miss him right? I'm not stupid, and I know you're not a heartless bastard.” Jonghyun frowned slightly, as Minho stood there stiffly, not meeting his eyes. . Jonghyun realised it.

“Uh yeah,” Minho bit his lip lightly, “I do miss him, sorry Jonghyun,” Minho winced, not expecting Jonghyun to squeeze his arm. For a moment Minho wondered what Jonghyun meant by him not being a heartless bastard.

“Don't be sorry,” Jonghyun frowned and then shook his head, “I'm the one who is sorry. I left you. I told you to move on, so that is what you started to do. I can't blame you for that. Your the best, nicest person, wait no that's Jinki-hyung. Okay, you're the nicest person after Jinki-hyung, so I know this must be cutting you up inside, right?”

Minho squeezed his eyes shut, feeling sick when he thought about how good Jonghyun was being about this. It seemed almost unreal, but then Minho remembered that Jonghyun had always had this massive soft spot, and the nature to be caring and incredibly understanding, it was one of the things Minho had always loved about him.

“Jinki broke up with me, but but... I miss him, I can't stop thinking about him,” Minho admitted, biting his lip when he saw the expression on Jonghyun's face, the second of pain. “Don't get me wrong, I still love you too. I am just so messed up, . How can this be normal.” Minho groaned, turning back to face the sink, unable to face Jonghyun.

“I love you Minho, I just want you to be happy,” Jonghyun bit his lip softly, pressing the palm of his hand to Minho's back and rubbing gentle circles across it. “I love you, no matter what.” Jonghyun whispered, in a very faint voice. Minho felt like crying, for the way he felt like he was hurting both Jonghyun and Jinki at the same time. Was it so wrong to want them both to be happy, and to love them both?

After Minho had left for work, Jonghyun stood numbly in the kitchen wondering what he had done. He did love Minho, but he wouldn't be lying if he said it didn't hurt when Minho said that he missed Jinki too. However, Jonghyun couldn't blame Minho for his feelings, he had half expected Minho to tell him to off and never come back. Perhaps it hurt more because he knew Jinki, although Jonghyun didn't think it was just that, because at least he knew Jinki-hyung was a caring and loving person too.

The question was what would happen next, was Minho going to get back with Jinki? Or try to forget him? Jonghyun stood by the sink, resting his hands on the edge, gazing out the window carefully. It hurt to see Minho so cut up the way he was, it was obvious something was upsetting Minho. That thought made his insides ache, like someone was taking a blunt knife and trying to saw through muscle. Breathing in deeply, Jonghyun felt a little better when he remembered that it was obvious Minho still cared about him too, the way he had seen Minho's eyes light up when he looked at Jonghyun, gave him hope. All was not lost – Minho still cared about him deeply.

Jonghyun hadn't been lying earlier when he said he wanted Minho to be happy, it was the truth. With that thought in mind Jonghyun finished washing the dishes and decided to go out for a while. It was a pleasant morning, and after being in hospital it felt good to be finally free. Smiling Jonghyun walked down the street, grinning as he walked past the park. Jonghyun took his time, just letting each step take him further forward with no real destination in mind. It was a chance to get some fresh air and think, and that was all. Jonghyun blinked when he heard laughter, and shrill screaming. Pausing he glanced over the fence, tensing slightly as he recognised a preschool, and he scanned the yard where it was obviously playtime. The yard was full of little kids in matching navy blue shorts, white sailor shirts and peaked yellow caps, the kids reminded him of ducklings, the way they zoomed around on the grass.

Jonghyun finally glanced up higher scanning the area for a sign of Jinki. Letting out an exasperated sigh as he stood there, unable to believe his feet had led him right to where Jinki worked. However, Jonghyun figured it must be a sign, but he couldn't spot Jinki in the yard. He might be inside, maybe I should go in and talk to him since I ended up here.

Taking a deep breath Jonghyun pushed the fence open, marching into the school yard and walking across to the office. Jonghyun wished he knew what he was going to say to Jinki when he saw him, because his mouth was dry and his mind was blank. Wetting his lips, Jonghyun breathed in deeply and then smiled across at the receptionist before asking for Jinki.

“You still love me, don't you?” Jonghyun murmured as he slid his arms around Minho's waist, resting his head against his shoulder. Jonghyun smiled when he felt Minho nod his head and lean back in the embrace. Jonghyun breathed a gush of warm air out, relief as he held Minho tighter. The warmth of Jonghyun felt so good against Minho, biting his lip he slowly turned to face Jonghyun.

“Yeah of course,” Minho whispered as he traced his fingers down Jonghyun's jaw, fingers touching the little scar that was hidden under his chin. “Of course I love you,” his voice dropped a notch as he rubbed his fingers against the skin, watching the way Jonghyun opened his eyes slowly, such warmth and tenderness lay in the depths of his eyes. Minho could feel heat rising between their bodies, as if just the act of touching generated electricity between them.

Minho tried to focus on Jonghyun, and Jonghyun alone but at times he was reminded of the contrasts between Jonghyun and Jinki. It felt strange to compare them, and to realise that he didn't wish Jonghyun was Jinki, but rather a sense of equality, as if somehow his feelings and desires for both were equal. That said, Minho had missed being with Jonghyun. Minho had missed the way Jonghyun kissed him, the way his lips attacked Minho's body so passionately and the way he drew his hands down his body.

Being with Jonghyun was like being with no one else, Minho couldn't help but think. Even Jinki didn't compare, but that didn't stop Minho from missing Jinki too. It made Minho feel like a horrible person, when he woke in the morning thinking of Jinki and wondering what he was doing. Jinki broke up with him, Minho shouldn't think about him, but he couldn't help it even with Jonghyun lying next to him.

Biting his lip Minho realised it had been the same before, when he was with Jinki, he had thought of Jonghyun too. Lying there Minho realised this was completely unreasonable of him. It was wrong and horrible of him to want both Jonghyun and Jinki at the same time. Minho breathed in deeply, shutting his eyes as Jonghyun pressed his hands against his waist, Minho knew he was going to have to do something, but he had no idea what. Things couldn't stay the way they were, that much he knew.

“I think we should take a break from being together.”

“You want to, what?” Jonghyun stared incredulously at Minho, still trying to digest his words, “Why Minho, we just got back together again.” Jonghyun looked pained, biting his lip as he stood there trying to just breathe as he stared at Minho's serious expression, he didn't look like he was joking.

“Is this a joke?” Jonghyun mumbled, cocking his head to one side, “tell me its a ing joke? Please?” Jonghyun dropped his head down, chewing on his dry lips, he knew he deserved something like this, but it still hurt.

“I'm sorry,” Minho glanced down, and Jonghyun's jaw dropped open when he saw that Minho's eyes were watering, “I love you, but I just need some space, or something to sort out my feelings. I'm so sorry Jonghyun. I think it's better if we break up for now, so I can sort myself out.” Minho avoided Jonghyun's gaze, glancing behind him at the pale wall.

“Is this about Jinki-hyung?” Jonghyun finally asked, letting out a soft sigh when he saw how Minho tensed, “Can't you just invite him around here, honestly I don't mind.” Jonghyun pleaded, desperate for anyway to stay with Minho. It hurt the first he had left Minho, and this felt even worse because it was Minho breaking up with him. Although Jonghyun figured he deserved it, so a part of him thought he should just go along with it, because he deserved such treatment.

Minho felt so guilty after Jonghyun moved out, guilty for how badly he had treated him. Minho guessed he should've stopped him moving in, but he had let his feelings cloud his judgement. in a deep breath, Minho squeezed his eyes shut as he lay on his bed, thinking about how messed up he was, for wanting both Jonghyun and Jinki. Minho still couldn't get either of them out of his thoughts, it was messed up how he often dreamt of them both. Shaking his head, Minho lay there willing himself back to sleep, but the images of the dream still haunted him.

In the dream Minho was swimming in a strange lake, shrouded in mist and then out of the mist Jonghyun had appeared paddling through the water like a puppy. Jonghyun had swum over towards him, smiling softly as he approached Minho. Laughter had filled the air and when Minho turned Jinki was beside him, arms tracing patterns down his torso, and then Jonghyun had latched onto him too. Glumly Minho lay there, wondering how he could stop having dreams like that. It was both cruel and mean for him to lead both Jonghyun and Jinki on like that, he could only love one not both.

The problem wasn't getting any better, Minho hoped that after a few weeks that his feelings would calm down but instead the dreams seemed to be increasing. Minho however was determined to stick it out, he was going get over this and stop feeling this way about both of them. Maybe it was wrong to avoid them both, but Minho didn't know what else to do. Minho didn't think it was fair on either of them if he saw them both, not until he sorted out his feelings.

Minho hoped it wouldn't take too much longer because he was quite frankly sick to death of thinking nonstop about Jinki and Jonghyun. It felt so awkward when he realised that he was staring into space at work, and only Jonghyun and Jinki were in his thoughts. It was embarrassing and Minho didn't want a coworker or his boss to notice. Luckily he had avoided that so far, but Minho was sure it was only a matter of time before it happened.

Waiting outside of the hair salon made Minho feel nervous but he was determined to talk to Kibum. Minho breathed in when he finally spotted Kibum walking towards him, and he bounced to his feet when he saw Kibum stop dead and then turn to walk away. Minho had a funny feeling he might do something like that, so frowning he jogged after Kibum, touching his shoulder lightly.

“Hey Kibum, wait,” Minho breathed out deeply, tugging on Kibum's shoulder until he stopped walking. “Please can we talk?” Minho pleaded as Kibum turned, arms crossed in front of his chest, he glared across at Minho, tapping his foot against the pavement. Kibum glanced down at his watch, and then turned his frosty gaze on Minho.

“What do you want?”

“Jinki-hyung, where is he? I need to talk to him.” Minho stumbled over the words, letting them jam together in his haste to talk.

“Hm, I don't know about that,” Kibum shook his head, “you upset him pretty bad,” Minho frowned, he figured Jinki was hurt but he had dumped Minho, so it didn't make complete sense to him. Minho shook his head slowly, hoping that Kibum would let him explain it.

“But he broke up with me,” Minho frowned, “Jinki-hyung didn't even wait or let me explain anything, he just broke up with me.” Minho ignored the way Kibum raised his eyebrows at him, the way he stared coldly was starting to annoying Minho.

“Oh so you're the idiot leaving all the notes and for Jinki-hyung? I did wonder what moron was doing that,” Kibum shrugged, grinning slightly when he saw Minho's eyes widen, and his mouth set in a straight line. “Jinki-hyung isn't around at the moment, I think Taemin's been reading them and having a laugh over them.” Kibum's grin grew wider, as Minho stood stiffer, eyes narrowed down, lips pressed tightly together.

“Can you at least tell me how to get into contact with him? Where is he? Please, Kibum I need to talk to him.” Minho pleaded, still looking annoyed, but the way he tugged on Kibum's arm, like a little kid bugging a parent, made him seem desperate. “I'm not even with Jonghyun, I really want to talk to Jinki-hyung.” Minho glanced down at his watch, blinking when he saw the time, he was going to be late to work.

“He's not here, I told you. He's gone away, look I have to go now, but just stop hassling us okay?” Before Minho could get another word out, Kibum unlocked the shop door and stepped inside, he slammed the door shut before Minho had a chance to follow him in. Minho stood outside, pouting, Kibum's last words echoing through his head. Minho began to feel sick, maybe Jinki had left Seoul permanently, maybe he had moved somewhere else to escape from Minho.

Suddenly Minho didn't feel like going to work, not with the way a headache was starting to build. Minho knew he couldn't call in sick, he had to go to work. Frowning and still thinking about Jinki and where he could have gone, Minho slowly made his way to work. He didn't care anymore that he was going to be late, he didn't think about anything but the way he had made Jinki leave town. It made Minho feel like even more of an .

Jonghyun felt irritated that it had been nearly a month, and Minho still hadn't contacted him (or Jinki). When Jonghyun visited Minho's place (secretly) he found the house locked up and it seemed as if Minho came home from work and just then stayed in doors. It was so unbearable that Jonghyun decided to ask a mutual friend to visit Minho, and found out that Minho was basically just moping around the house.

It was incredibly frustrating to see Minho like this, and Jonghyun was determined to do something about this. Jonghyun just wanted to spend time with Minho, the last thing he wanted was to be pushed away while Minho went through acting like a hermit. If Minho had moved on, and was living with Jinki (or someone else) Jonghyun figured he would just have to move on, but seeing Minho like this was heart breaking. Jonghyun loved and missed Minho, he just wanted to be there with him, he just wanted to see him everyday.

Jonghyun rubbed his hands together as he paced around the kitchen of his friends place, a plan forming in the back of his mind. Jonghyun hummed softly to himself as he thought out the details in his head. It had to work, he had to get back with Minho, anyway he could. Jonghyun didn't care what it took, as long as he could be with Minho.

Minho bit his lip, it was time to stop liking Jinki, and concentrate on his feelings for Jonghyun. It wasn't that he had decided he loved Jonghyun more, but rather what Kibum had told him. The fact that Jinki had left Seoul, that was what made him realise it was too late. There was no way for him to undo the damage, the hurt he had caused Jinki. Rationally Minho knew he was right, he had to move on. Jinki was gone for good, there was no chance for him to make things right. Even if there was, Minho knew he was dreaming if he thought he could be with both Jonghyun and Jinki.

Problem was Minho's heart still longed for Jinki, Minho still dreamt of him and Jonghyun. Somehow Minho was going to have to get over this, move on and stop liking Jinki. Because Jinki had moved from Seoul, a part of Minho toyed with the idea of getting the address of Kibum and tracking him down. Minho however, didn't know what would happen next, he couldn't promise to only love Jinki because he loved Jonghyun too. Which is why it seemed pointless to track Jinki down, but his heart was stubborn and refused to give up.

Minho decided to go and talk to Jonghyun, if the older male would still talk to him. The thought of seeing Jonghyun again made his heart throb painfully, anguish flooding his chest. What if Jonghyun had had enough and moved on too? Minho felt so stupid to throw away Jonghyun's love, especially since he knew he loved Jonghyun. Groaning Minho berated himself for behaving so stupidly for his actions, but at the same time half of his body reminded him of Jinki. Sweet, lovely, caring Jinki, and it suddenly didn't seem so simple anymore.

It felt strange to be standing outside of Dongwoo's house, to be visiting Jonghyun but he knew that was where he was staying. Minho rang the doorbell, glancing up at the dark night sky, it wasn't too late he hoped. Jonghyun was always up late, but Minho would feel bad if he woke Dongwoo up. Tapping his foot against the floor Minho waited for what felt like forever, his heart pounding at the thought of seeing Jonghyun again. Minho blinked and wondered why he had taken so long to do this.

The door finally opened and Minho felt disappointed when he saw Dongwoo standing there. If only it was Jonghyun opening the door, not Dongwoo. Holding back a sigh, Minho smiled across at Dongwoo, standing up straight and breathing in deeply. Minho knew he could do this, he just hoped he wasn't too late.

“Hey Dongwoo, is Jonghyun here?” Minho's lips curved up as he saw Dongwoo motioning for him to go inside the house.

“Hey Minho, sorry actually Jonghyun isn't around,” Dongwoo frowned, “he didn't say anything to me so I'm not sure where he's gone or if he's coming back. His stuff seems to be gone.” Dongwoo scratched his head, leaning against the door frame. Minho felt his dinner rising up his throat, a sense of panic washing over his limbs so that he started to shiver. What had he done, not only had he hurt Jinki but now he'd driven Jonghyun away too.

“Oh,” Minho tried to smile, but the agony spreading through his limbs made it hard to keep smiling. Minho felt as if he was choking, choking on the guilt he felt. Minho ignored the way Dongwoo called out to him, just walking back home. Minho shivered, wondering if Jonghyun had gone down to Jejudo, which was where most of his family was now living. Minho didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive himself for driving both of the people he loved away. Clearly he really was an idiot, Minho swallowed as he walked home wondering what the hell he was going to do. Where had they both gone?

By the next morning Minho was determined that he would find Jonghyun and Jinki. While he ate breakfast, Minho figured he had nothing to lose. Damn it he wanted to at least talk to both of them and he was sure that Kibum or Taemin could help him find Jinki. There was no way in hell that Minho was just going to give up. There was no way he could just sick back and move on, it just wasn't how Minho was going to be. Plus Minho figured he moped enough the first time Jonghyun broke up with him, and it had achieved nothing but made him feel worse. This time he was going to find both of them, no question.

Minho decided to go back and visit Dongwoo after work, he'd take a case of beers around and have a few drinks with him. Kibum he figured it was better to tackle him first thing in the morning. So once Minho had finished eating his rice and soup, he locked the door behind him and headed back down towards the hair salon.

As Minho walked he thought about ridiculous it was how first he was going to get over Jinki, but the longer he thought about it, the more Minho realised his feelings were worth fighting for. Jinki was worth fighting for. Minho was smiling faintly as he strolled up to the door and pushed it open. Kibum sighed and glared at Minho when he saw who it was.

“You again,” Kibum rolled his eyes and flapped his hand as if shooing away a pesky insect, “what do you want this time Minho?” Minho bit his lip, it hurt to see Kibum like this, he had thought of him as a friend and now he glared at him, and treated him coldly. Then again Minho figured it was sweet how Kibum was protecting Jinki, and he would do the exact same thing.

“Kibum, I want to talk to Jinki,” Minho calmly stood in front of Kibum ignoring how Kibum sighed and rolled his eyes at him, “You know, you were the first person I talked to about Jinki. Do you remember all those months ago? Cutting my hair and me talking about Jinki?” Kibum frowned and then nodded, it was obvious that he wondered where this was going.

“Yeah what about it?” Kibum shrugged his shoulders elegantly, fingers smoothing down his shirt. “I don't see why you're bringing this up?”

“I just wanted to ask you, did it seem like I was using Jinki-hyung to you? Like I didn't really care about him?” Minho blinked his large eyes slowly, gazing intently across at Kibum curious to know what he would say. Minho had found that the more time he spent with Jinki, the more his feelings grew and deepened. Kibum finally shook his head, still frowning slightly across at Minho.

“I love him, Kibum, I really do love him,” Minho murmured, “it's driving me nuts not being able to talk to Jinki-hyung, not being able to see him.” Minho nodded his head, when he saw the way Kibum just stared, jaw slackening and opening as he stood there opposite Minho.

“What about... Jonghyun?” Kibum frowned, “You love him too?” Minho swallowed and then nodded his head, biting his lip. Jonghyun, how could he not love Jonghyun? That was the awkward part, but Minho still felt he had to talk to both of them, how else could anything happen, or Minho understand his stupid conflicted heart.

“See that's the problem Minho, how can you love both of them,” Kibum shook his head, and Minho felt all his hope sink as Kibum shook his head more firmly. “I don't even get what you want to tell Jinki, don't you realise it'd hurt him if you told him that you love him and Jonghyun?”

“I don't know, but I just feel like I need to talk to him. Please Kibum, I promise to do my best in not hurting him. Honestly.” Minho nodded his head, feeling sick as Kibum continued to look coldly at him. Minho had had such a good feeling that morning, he was sure Kibum would give him the info. Minho couldn't understand how it was turning out like this.

“Fine, fine,” Kibum finally sighed, “I won't give you his number but I'll talk to him in a few days and ask if he's willing to talk to you. If he says no, then no matter how much you bribe or beg, I won't tell you anything.” Kibum vowed, and Minho suddenly felt hope surging up wildly in him. Minho grinned across at Kibum and then nodded his head before he walked out. Minho hoped that the drinks with Dongwoo would go easier that night, that he would at least give Jonghyun's contact info to Minho.

Minho hummed softly to himself when he got home from work, he had a good feeling about tonight. Minho stood in his bedroom and changed his clothes carefully, smiling as he untied his tie. There was no need to be formal, instead he decided to dress casually. It wasn't long before Minho was dressed in a pair of tight jeans and a t-shirt, he stopped to get a drink when the doorbell rang. Minho frowned, wondering who was visiting him but he could feel his heart pounding in anticipation for going around to Dongwoo's house.

Minho opened the door slowly, and then just gaped as he saw both Jonghyun and Jinki standing on his doorstep. For ten seconds Minho just stood there, wondering if he was seeing things, maybe he was dreaming. Surely Jonghyun and Jinki weren't both standing there. Minho blinked, and then frowned when he saw that Jonghyun was holding Jinki's hand, and how close they were standing together. Minho gulped, and then swallowed, this had to be some kind of nightmare right? Why where they holding hands, had they come to tell Minho that they hated him?

“Minho?” Jonghyun spoke first shaking Minho out of his silence, “Are you going to let us in or not?” Jonghyun blinked, lifting his hand still attached to Jinki's, and he swung it back and forth. Minho frowned and then quickly nodded his head, his hands shaking as he struggled to unlock the door. Seeing them both there, Minho suddenly realised it didn't matter if they were together, at least he could talk to them. Plus it was just so good to see them again, it wasn't a nightmare at all more like a dream come true.

Minho smiled, watching as Jonghyun held Jinki up, as he slid his shoes off and the way he swayed as if he was about to fall. Minho gulped when Jinki glanced up and stared across at him, Minho couldn't read his expression and it scared him. He could feel his cheeks heating, and quickly Minho glanced down, watching Jonghyun's toes wriggle as he stood there calmly.

“Sorry, I uh,” Minho babbled, rubbing his hands together nervously, “wasn't expecting to see you here, but I am so glad to see you both, I wanted to see you both so badly.” Minho wrung his hands together as he stood there, smiling across at them both. It felt so good to see them, and Minho found himself unable to stop staring at them both.

“It's okay,” Jinki mumbled in a soft voice, offering Minho a shy smile that just made Minho's chest wrench. It was so good to see Jinki again, to see that sweet, tender smile across his face. Minho blinked when he realised that Jonghyun was scrutinising him carefully, before he flashed Minho a grin.

“We need to tell you something Minho,” Jonghyun nodded his head, grin replaced with a serious expression, “we should probably sit down because it's important. You need to hear our announcement,” Jonghyun paused, glancing at Jinki, who nodded his head slowly, lips pursed as he looked back at Jonghyun. Minho swallowed, wondering what kind of announcement this would be. Minho could feel his palms sweating as they walked into the living room. Minho found it hard to concentrate as he waited, eyes flicking back to where Jinki and Jonghyun were seated holding hands.

(I kind of hate this part but idk~ D:)