The stage felt unbearably empty.  

Despite the unusual number of backup dancers who now accompanied them during the majority of their few performances, any performance with only five Super Junior members felt wrong.  Individually, of course, there were many perks, especially for Jungsu and Heechul, who were now able to showcase their underestimated talents as vocalists. Others, mainly Jongwoon and himself, were able to prove that the two of them weren’t completely hopeless at following the group’s choreography (although freestyle, on the other hand, will forever remain a different story).  The line distribution, alongside the coveted center position, was also shared more equally, allowing for each of the remaining members to have more than a few seconds of spotlight.

Yet, despite how logical it was for almost any other group stick with this reasoning, Super Junior was never one to follow such rationality. Instead, it just felt wrong. Not only did the members themselves feel the awkwardness from the substantial vacancy while standing on such a colossal stage as group of four, the overall mood was beginning to feel downright depressing. Starting with Hangeng and Kibum’s departure from the group (as well as the fan’s rejection of Zhou Mi and Henry as official members), the stage dynamic had never felt quite right, only to later intensify with Youngwoon’s sudden military enlistment, which was then soon followed by Heechul, Jungsu, and Jongwoon.

Somehow, the group managed to survive without their leader, their residential diva, and even their main vocalist.  Despite the additional strain that affected the whole group as they toured more of the world, as well as the increasing frequency and intensity of their activities, they were able to slowly adapt as time passed.  Yet, just as the sense of familiarity began to find its place once more, they were met with Donghee and Sungmin’s departures, though Jongwoon’s return did bring back some sense of relief.  The dulling emptiness intensified later when Donghae, Hyukjae, and Siwon were all suddenly enlisting to serve their duty within a few months’ time.  Even now, with the addition of Youngwoon’s extended period of reflection and Ryeowook’s enlistment being the most recent, it was becoming dreadfully pitiful that the South Korean military now had more active members within their ranks in comparison to Super Junior itself.

With a quick glance across the brightly-lit stage, Kyuhyun felt himself internally grieving.  A Super Junior performance was never intended for four people, regardless of the number of backup dancers filling in for the enlisted members.  He knew it, all of the other members knew it, hell, even their beloved ELFs, who continued to support them despite the years of trouble, instability, and backlash, knew that a four member Super Junior was just plain wrong.

“It’s alright.” Jungsu’s voice rang from the opposite side of the stage, almost as if he were placating Kyuhyun’s distressed thoughts.

Before he knew it, Kyuhyun suddenly found himself surrounded by the other members, each of them taking turns to playfully poke and prod at him with the of their microphones.  However, despite the crooked smile he flashed towards the others, the youngest member found himself overwhelmed with a cascade of emotions.  The familiar rush of warm tears began to gather in the corner of his eyes, alongside an unexpected heaviness in his chest when, instead of the soft, yet silvery voice he yearned for, Jongwoon’s dark and husky voice began to sing lines that, in Kyuhyun’s opinion, didn’t belong to him.

~*~

“I hate it when you look used to me,”

Glancing down, Kyuhyun found himself losing the battle against his widening grin as Ryeowook beamed, almost flirtatiously, at him.

“I still get nervous when I see you,”

The original choreography designed for their fan meetings had the two on opposite sides of the stage, focusing the majority of their attention on the ELFs in the crowd. Yet, with both being the defiant members that they were, the two instead chose to deviate from the practiced moves. Instead, Kyuhyun idly swung his arm over the shorter man’s shoulder, while at the same time, Ryeowook molded himself against the taller man’s side, enveloping him into a tight embrace as they serenaded one another.

“Just like I imagined,”

“We fit together so well.”

Their reasons for such public displays of affection, especially on stage in front of thousands of people, were more selfish than expected.  Even if it did bring glee to the fans who swooned at even the simplest sight of fan service and even if it was encouraged by the higher-ups, the two simply used it as yet another excuse to embrace one another, despite how frequently they did the same outside the public eye.  

Yet, what initially started as a playful act of affection slowly transformed into an act of desperation.  With every month, along with each Super Camp fan meeting, passing by in the blink of the eye, each hug on and off camera began to instinctively grow tighter.  After all, the once slow trickle of time was now suddenly speeding past at an alarming rate and it wouldn’t be long until Kyuhyun would be forced to a life where he would return home each night to a desolate apartment.

~*~

Kyuhyun found himself rapidly blinking the tears away, absently shaking his head towards Jungsu, who glanced at him, his eyes flashing signs of concern for group’s youngest member.

“I’m okay” he mouthed reassuringly, just before following the others’ actions, turning his attention to the stage’s large screen.

The song came to its cheerful as Heechul began to cover Hyukjae’s rap.  Yet, when it came to their name in the rap, instead of a conglomeration of peace signs, winks, and other cute actions pointed in the direction of the sea of fans, the members all stood deathly still, each directing a proud salute towards the concert hall’s big screen.  One after another, photographs of the group’s missing members began to slowly fade onto the screen

Donghee was the first to fill the lit screen, closely followed by Sungmin.  Gradually, Hyukjae, Donghae, and Siwon’s images began to show up one by one.

And then finally, for the first time in weeks, he appeared before Kyuhyun’s eyes.

The unaccustomed sight of the shorter man was not only difficult to take in, but nearly heart wrenching for the younger man.  Instead of the captivating smile that never ceased to make his heart pound, Kyuhyun was forced to see an unfamiliar and dispassionate expression.  The lustrous and soft head of chestnut colored hair that his fingers longed to run through once more was also long gone, having been shaved off weeks ago and dyed back to its natural darker shade.  None of that seemed to matter though since what little length that remained was concealed beneath the oversized, protective headgear.  However, what tore Kyuhyun the most was the sight of the petite body that he yearned to hold in his arms, be nearly swallowed up by the melancholic green and gray shades of the South Korean military uniform.

~*~

“You know what? You could totally pass as Gollum now,” Kyuhyun remarked teasingly, playfully patting the prickly top of Ryeowook’s freshly shaven head.

“Shut it Mushroom,” a playful nudge came from Ryeowook, who lay with his back pressed against the younger man’s chest. “Like your mess of a hairstyle is any better. You’re lucky I won’t be here to make fun of you when it’s your turn to look like Gollum. Maybe I should add a couple insults to my letters before you enlist to make up for lost time.”

Kyuhyun huffed, “As if your one letter would be able make its way to me when it’s competing against the thousands that I get from fans all over the world.”

Masking his emotions had been hard at first, especially for a teenager who bore little to no experience in the real world.  It wasn’t until the following months after his official debut and slew of hate thrown towards him that Kyuhyun grew accustomed to the various techniques used to hide his true feelings. Even after nearly ten years as a well-known celebrity, one of the best approaches he constantly found himself resorting to when the need to numb his feelings arose was the use of snarky comments, dark humor, and even becoming emotionally detached.

The same technique had been useful as of late, especially within the most recent days. Ryeowook’s final good-bye to the remainder of his