Chicken.

 

 It was a symbol of Onew, a metaphor of him and in a way it was fitting. Onew didn’t mind, why shouldn’t he be associated with his favourite hobby? But still, it wasn’t fair for people to think that chicken was the only thing about him, Onew thought as he grabbed another piece of chicken from the take-out box. People tend to stop at first impressions, he grumbled inwardly, that’s the root of the problem. They never realise that people may have two things they love in their life.

 

 ‘Yah, hyung, save some for us too. You’re not the only one who’s hungry.’ Key’s voice cut into his thoughts as he plonked himself into the space next to Onew on the couch where they were having their dinner. Not a very healthy and nourishing dinner, Key thought disapprovingly as he picked up a chicken drumstick by its very tip. Eww…there is so much fat in it. How does Onew even stand having it so close to his mouth? He shrugged, making a mental note to not cook any chicken for a week. It’ll do Onew’s health lots of good.

 

 ‘Nah, let him have a larger share, you know how he’s like with chicken.’ Jonghyun grinned at Onew from the hall, obviously thinking that he has just done him a favour. ‘Anyway, I’m not too hungry.’

 

 ‘Where’s Minho and Taemin?’  Onew asked innocently, trying to pass off his curiosity of the maknae’s whereabouts as a casual comment on 2min. He wasn’t comfortable having the both of them out of his sight at the same time. It made him fidgety because his overactive imagination made him wonder if 2min was real, or worse, becoming real. There were plenty of ‘evidence’ on the internet in the form of fancams and blogs and Onew didn’t like it. At all. He has always had a soft spot for the maknae, whom he felt inclined to protect from potential erts because of his age and a certain feeling he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

 

 You like him. The treacherous tendril of thought s into his mind.

 

 No, I don’t. He argued back. Well, no, I do like him. But as a friend! He’s like a brother to me, that’s all!

 

 Sure you do. The voice sniggered and slid away.

 

 ‘Umm, I think Minho’s on his way back and Taemin is in the shower.’ Jonghyun replied absently to his earlier question.

 

 ‘How do you know what my baby is doing?’ Key asked sharply as he jerked his head up to glare at Jonghyun, chucking the piece of greasy chicken back into the box, making Onew whimper softly at the abuse of his favourite animal.

 

 Jonghyun rolled his eyes. ‘Seriously, chill out will you? He went into the shower right after I came out from it.’ He replied and gestured towards his hair, which Onew vaguely noted was still slightly wet. ‘Oh and FYI, he’s not exactly a baby anymore. Your son just turned eighteen a few months back. He’s an adult.’ Jonghyun drew the word out, exaggerating it.

 

 ‘I know perfectly well – ’ Key had just started to snap back when Taemin walked towards them, his hair in the same state as Jonghyun’s.

 

 ‘Oh there you are! I’ve saved you a share before Onew hyung polished them off.’ Key exclaimed when he caught sight of his beloved son, his tone changing abruptly to a bright and cheerful one.

 

 ‘Bipolar.’ Jonghyun muttered.

 

 ‘I heard that.’ Key muttered back from the corner of his mouth.

 

 Of course he would, they didn’t call him Almighty Key for nothing. ‘Hey, Taemin. How’s your day?’ Onew greeted the dancer of the group, trying to ignore the sudden speeding up of his heart which had been occurring more and more often lately. Taemin responded with a bright smile, oblivious to Onew’s racing heart.

 

The rest of the dinner passed uneventfully aside from the constant bickering coming from Jongkey and Onew’s light-hearted conversation with Taemin.

 

‘What do you want to have for your birthday, hyung?’ Taemin asked in reference to the upcoming occasion.

 

Onew chewed his lip, thinking of a response. Definitely not chicken, he can get those anytime he wanted. What he wanted was something special….

 

I want you.The thought came into his mind unbidden and unexpected. Onew jumped guiltily. Where did that come from?

 

From your innermost desires. The voice purred. Realising that Taemin was still waiting for an answer, Onew dragged himself back to reality.

 

‘Uh, I guess I want to spend some time with Luna?’ he voice stumbled, presenting the most reasonable answer he could think of while organising the chaos inside him.

 

‘Luna?’ Taemin’s voice came out oddly as he suddenly became very interested in his fingernails. ‘Yeah, I guess you would. She’s pretty and nice and fun to be with. Who wouldn’t want to spend time with her?’ he finished on a slightly bitter note. Onew flicked a glance at Taemin, alerted to the change in mood.

 

Taemin stood up suddenly and placed the half-eaten chicken back into the box. ‘I’ll see what I can do about your gift, hyung. I’m going to study for my test tomorrow. Goodnight.’ He said in one breath and strode away.

 

‘What about your dinner?’ Onew asked, bewildered by how the conversation turned out.

 

‘I’m not hungry anymore.’ He tossed over his shoulder without turning back.

 

What did I do? He thought confusedly just as Key stood up and stormed off in a huff. ‘And what did you do this time?’ he sighed, completing his thought aloud and turned towards dino boy.

 

He shrugged, ‘I opened my mouth. Who knows how his mind works? Like mother, like son.’ Jonghyun looked up to see Key slam the door of his room before resuming his dinner as though nothing had happened.

 

 

___________________________

 

 

 

 

‘Happy birthday!’  A chorus of cheers erupted as soon as Onew burst into the practice room out of breath and clutching an aching jaw on the day of his birthday. He had overslept because of his malfunctioning alarm clock and found that everyone had left for their schedules without waking him up from his afternoon nap. Realising that he was perilously close to being extremely late for an evening radio broadcast, he had made the van driver break several traffic laws along the way and dashed up the stairs to the room. Of course, Onew being Onew, somehow managed to oversee the corner of a wall and ran right into it.

 

‘What’s going on?’ he asked, taking in the crowd of people squeezed into the room and the long table at the back heaped with food and presents. ‘Are you helping me to celebrate my birthday?’

 

‘No, we’re celebrating someone else’s.’ Key rolled his eyes. ‘That’s why we waited for you to come in so that we can crush your hopes. Duh! We’re throwing a not-so-surprise birthday party for you.’

 

‘Yeobo, give him a break, it’s his birthday.’ Jonghyun rebuked gently, the bickering obviously forgotten.

 

‘Go start the party, everyone’s hungry.’ Minho added and nudged him towards the birthday cake situated at the centre of the table.

 

When almost an hour had passed and only crumbs of food were left on the plates, Key yelled, ‘Present time!’ Everyone moved forward to shower Onew with gifts and he sincerely thanked them for the party and the gift. When the last person, Leeteuk had presented his gift to Onew, he had a miniature mountain of presents on the table consisting of stuffed toys, chicken collectibles, books, an mp3 player and albums from various international artists.

 

‘Here’s your biggest present, hyung.’ Minho smirked and pushed a blushing Luna in front of him. ‘Enjoy.’ He laughed and disappeared into the chattering crowd.

 

Onew stared at her.

 

‘Umm…’ he trailed off uncertainly. He hadn’t expected Taemin to take him seriously and plan this ‘gift’ with the other hyungs. As far as he was concerned, what he had said that day was simply a decoy to fill up the silence. Taemin obviously didn’t know that so now….he glanced at the still-blushing Luna uneasily. What can he say anyway? Should he just tell the whole stupid truth? ‘Oh hey, Luna! It was all a misunderstanding between Taemin and I. Yeah, the truth is that I never wanted you in the first place so I guess I’ll get going now. Have a nice time!’

 

No, if he said that Key would probably whack him on the head for being so rude to a girl. There had to be a way to put this tactfully. Where was Jonghyun when Onew needed him?!

 

‘Listen,’ Onew started again but Luna cut him off.

 

‘This is very awkward for me and you but since it’s your birthday I think we should just get it done and over with.’ She said in a rush. ‘I mean, it’s not that I feel awkward but if you feel awkward about this I can just leave. Of course, I’m also hoping that you don’t feel awkward either because I missed talking to you and…’

 

‘No, no. It’s fine. We haven’t had a decent conversation in ages anyway.’ He smiled at her, prompting her to carry the conversation smoothly. He wasn’t lying, they haven’t talked for a long time but he hadn’t felt bothered by it. For now he’ll just put up with this charade, later on he had to make himself clear to the others. Meanwhile he had to be careful not to give off the wrong signals, both to her and any watching onlookers.

 

Luna broke into a smile, assured by his response. ‘Good! So how are you anyway? Enjoying your birthday party?’

 

‘Yeah, I guess I am.’ For the next thirty minutes he joked and talked as naturally as he can without being too intimate. Before he knew it he was enjoying the conversation and he even caught himself flirting with her. He hastily ended the conversation by making an excuse to see Minho and hurried away.

 

He tapped Minho on the shoulder, ignoring the small rush of resentment as the younger turned around. He was another year older but the froggy idiot was still taller than him. Did I really stop growing already? he thought, frustrated. ‘Oh, you’re here. I thought that you would be spending more time with her.’ he remarked.

 

Onew sighed. ‘Apparently we’re all caught in a state of misunderstanding because I didn’t ask for her. Well, I did but that was simply a distraction.’

 

‘Distraction from what?’ he prodded curiously.

 

‘Something….’ Onew answered vaguely while looking around. ‘Hey, where’s Taemin?’

 

‘He went to the rooftop.’ Jonghyun interrupted as he suddenly appeared at Minho’s side with Key. ‘For some reason he looked pretty pissed. Right, Key?’

 

‘Mmhm.’ Key mumbled while tapping away on his phone. ‘Maybe you should try cheering him up or something. His mood meter shoots up like a rocket if you so much as glanced at him.’ At this, a pang went through Onew’s heart. Not an unpleasant one, but one that made him want to grin like a maniac.

 

‘Yeah, he’s a little bipolar, like Key. I think they should spend some time apart.’ Minho said thoughtfully. As Key angrily told him where he can stuff his suggestion, Onew tuned them out and focused on his thoughts and the surge of delight.

 

Does he like me?

 

You like him, that’s for sure. The voice in his mind supplied.

 

Do I?

 

That’s a very unnecessary question. Now get your out of here and do what you have to do! The voice ordered, sounding very much like Key. Onew jerked and exited the room, turning towards the stairs to the rooftop. He had to spend some time away from Key before his subconscious mind took on Key’s diva personality. When that happened….Onew shuddered and emerged on the rooftop. God knows what will happen to his sanity if he kept hearing nagging in his head.

 

The rooftop was dark and quiet. Beyond the fence that outlined the edge of the roof, he could see the glittering lights of Seoul spreading as far as the eye could see like a giant kaleidoscope. The December wind was icy and it blew under his thin sweater, making him shiver at the chilly contact.

 

‘Taemin?’ he called out tentatively. ‘Are you up here?’ Silence greeted his words and he turned towards the stairs, disappointed. Perhaps Jonghyun was wrong, or perhaps he was right and Taemin was avoiding him. Maybe Taemin was angry at him because he flirted so much with Luna and ignored them or maybe….

 

 ‘Hyung?’ a silhouette emerged from around a corner. ‘What are you doing here?’ Onew turned back and squinted at the figure, trying to bring Taemin to focus under the darkness. He had already recognized the latter the second he heard the maknae’s light voice.

 

Onew smiled as Taemin approached him. The younger did look moody, he thought worriedly as his smile fell, a contrast to his sunny personality.

 

‘Key told me that you were upset so I came up here to check on you.’ he replied simply.

 

Taemin’s face closed up and he half-turned before answering curtly. ‘I’m fine, go and enjoy your birthday party. Don’t keep Luna waiting.’

 

Onew chuckled, guessing what had made Taemin upset and guided the latter by his elbow to the waist high wall that ran around the edge of the roof. ‘I don’t think that she’ll be waiting.’

 

‘Why not?’ Taemin asked indifferently. Onew rested his elbows on the wall and smirked inwardly. He could hear Taemin’s interest and the lift in his mood despite his attempts to conceal it. I know you too well, he thought wryly.

 

‘I remembered that I had to speak to Minho while we were talking.’ he said casually.

 

‘Regarding…?’ Taemin inquired and leaned alongside the leader.

 

‘Nothing in particular.’ he lifted one shoulder and let it fall. Taemin snorted and clapped his hand to his mouth. ‘I suppose I shouldn’t be laughing, she’s a nice girl you know.’ He added half-heartedly.

 

Onew stretched his arms lazily. ‘Whatever. So, what made you so mad just now?’ Although he already guessed the answer, he still wanted to hear it from Taemin’s lips.

 

‘Nothing in particular.’ came the innocent reply, copying Onew’s previous answer. Onew’s mouth twitched, this kid was getting too smart. ‘Tell me!’ he whined and nudged Taemin in the ribs.

 

Taemin tossed his head and ignored him, choosing to admire the view of the city lights. ‘Yah! Tell me, I’m your hyung!’ Onew continued to pester Taemin.

 

‘So?’

 

‘It means that you have to answer my question!’

 

‘No, it doesn’t.’

 

‘Yes it does! If you don’t answer my question I’ll go back down.’ he threatened, instantly regretting his words when Taemin turned around slowly to face him with narrowed eyes.

 

‘To Luna? Yeah, go ahead. I should have known that you were lying about ditching her.’ he said nastily.

 

‘You’re jealous, aren’t you?’ Onew finally said after a pause.

 

‘No, I’m not!’ he retorted, his voice was as good as a confession. Onew laughed and ruffled the younger’s hair, earning a pout from him as he hastily arranged his hair again. Minho and Jonghyun were right, he thought amusedly. Taemin was becoming a replica of Key. Another silence descended between the two as the gazed into the distance.

 

‘Happy birthday, hyung.’ Taemin finally broke the silence. ‘Sorry I didn’t say that earlier.’ Onew bobbed his head in acknowledgement and smiled again. ‘Do you want to play a game?’ Taemin asked. Onew raised his head and was momentarily startled to see how close his face was to Taemin. He quickly pulled back, his heart beating hard and his face blushing.

 

‘S-sure. What game?’ he stuttered.

 

Taemin tapped his chin and tilted his head to regard Onew thoughtfully. ‘It’s a game that I made up on my own.’ he answered. ‘It’s called ‘What if’. ’

 

‘How do you play it?’ Onew asked curiously.

 

He chuckled. ‘Just like what the title says. I’ll start a sentence with ‘what if’ and you have to give me a response. I’ll start.’ He took a deep breath. ‘What if I told you that you’re my favourite hyung?’ he asked carefully.

 

‘I’ll hug you and say thanks.’ he smiled, touched.

 

‘What if, when you hug me, I tilted my head up to look at you?’

 

‘I would ask you if I was handsome.’ Onew joked lightly.

 

Taemin elbowed Onew, grinning and continued. ‘What if I told you that you’re the handsomest man that I’ve ever seen?’

 

‘I’ll be flattered and say thank you.’

 

There was another pause, much longer this time and Taemin said, almost inaudibly, ‘What if, after saying that, I told you that I love you?’ Onew froze and swallowed before whispering, ‘I would say that I love you too.’ Onew’s thoughts were a mess and his heart was pounding in anticipation as he tried to figure out what the younger was trying to say.

 

Did he mean it romantically?

 

Is it meant as a joke?

 

Is this even part of the game anymore?

 

 Taemin was still for a few moments before saying shakily, ‘What if I kissed you and told you that I love you beyond the brotherly meaning?’ Onew’s heart soared and a fission of euphoria bubbled in him. He celebrated inwardly for a while before making his response. By that time, Taemin’s head was bowed down as though he regretted his words and was waiting for Onew’s rejection.

 

‘It’s my turn now.’ Onew said softly in Taemin’s ear and lifted his head to face him. Taemin wouldn’t meet his eyes, either out of embarrassment or the fear of seeing disgust in Onew’s face. ‘What if,’ Onew started as softly as before, forcing Taemin to meet his eyes. ‘I asked you to do all that you had said just now and find out the answer for yourself?’

 

‘I would happily oblige.’ Taemin whispered and before either of them knew it, their arms were around each other and their lips were moving in harmony with each other. This was what he had waited for, Onew thought with a fierce surge of passion as he planted butterfly kisses on Taemin’s lips over and over again, to hold Taemin in his arms not as a brother or as a friend, but a lover.

 

Taemin made a soft sound at the back of his throat, kissing Onew with more passion than before. Onew was pleasantly surprised at the maknae’s eagerness. Perhaps he wasn’t so innocent in the first place, he smiled as they finally pulled away from each other, breathing hard. Their arms remained around each other as Onew leaned his forehead on Taemin’s and murmured, ‘Is that enough of an answer for you?’

 

Taemin grinned naughtily, ‘Not yet. I want to hear some more.’ Onew laughed with sheer joy and leaned forward to Taemin’s ear to murmur, ‘I love you.’ They remained in each other’s arms for a while, revelling in the fulfilment of their secret wishes.

 

‘We should get back to your party,’ Taemin finally said. The couple released each other reluctantly, keeping only their hands intertwined and turned towards the stairs, only to freeze mind-step.

 

‘Finally.’ Key remarked snidely as he leaned against the stair railings. ‘We were just about to start making bets as to how long the both of you would be staying up here.’

 

‘What…? When…?’ Onew spluttered. ‘How long – ’

 

‘Long enough to hear the whole game.’ Jonghyun flipped his hair and grinned. ‘I have to say, Taemin.’ He said mock reproachfully. ‘I’m surprised at you. I never knew you were so, you know.’ he finished meaningfully.

 

Minho laughed loudly. ‘It took the both of you long enough.’ Key cleared his throat and straightened up gracefully, stalking towards them with that unpleasantly familiar air. Onew let go of Taemin’s hand and started backing away as fast as he can without tripping.

 

‘Lee Jinki.’ Key hissed menacingly. He raised a hand and Onew flinched. Key stared hard at Onew for a moment and broke into a smile. ‘Congratulations. Legally, I can’t do anything because Taemin is an adult already but if you hurt so much as a hair on him…’ he trailed off. There was no need to finish that sentence, the unspoken threat of Key’s wrath was more than enough to keep people in line.

 

‘Of course I won’t hurt him.’ he said indignantly at Key’s retreating back, ‘What kind of a person do you think I am?’

 

‘A person, who according to fanfictions and fancams, is very rough in bed.’ Key said without turning around. ‘Let’s go, people. Give them a bit more time alone.’ Minho gave a thumbs up and mouthed ‘Congrats’ and followed suit. Jonghyun winked, ‘Ask me any questions you want!’ he hollered. Onew flushed, knowing all too well what Jonghyun meant by it. Living in the SHINee dorm meant hearing a lot of noises coming from Jonghyun and Key’s shared room at night.

 

Taemin flitted over to Onew’s side to intertwine their hands again, smiling happily up at Onew and his face dropped a bit at the thought of something. ‘What is it?’ he asked.

 

Taemin hesitated. ‘Previously when you mentioned that you wanted to spend time with Luna…was that really your wish?’ he looked at Onew questioningly.

 

Onew shook his head decisively. ‘Nope. It was simply a random answer to your question because I was slowing down my heartbeat.’ Taemin beamed, satisfied with the answer. He burrowed his face into the crook of Onew’s neck and hugged him tightly. Onew wrapped his arms around him and inhaled the scent that was the essence of Taemin. Eau-de-Taemin. Delicious.

 

‘You received a lot of presents today, which one was your favourite?’ Taemin asked aloud. Onew tightened his arms around him. ‘This one.’ 

 

                                                               

 

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PS. I don't hate Luna, I just prefer Ontae over Lunew