He reached out with his hand, softly the silky hair of the boy next to him. He listened to the gentle breaths while the other slept. His eyes looked at the chest that went slightly up and down, the hand that reached for something and nothing in specific, not being able to reach that what he wanted to reach. He made no effort to stop him, to meet him or anything other than just looking at him. Slowly he stood up, enriching the clothes on the floor and started putting it on. His pants over his hips, his shirt over his shoulders and finally his socks and shoes on his feet. Once his watch clicked lock around his wrist he finally lifted his gaze to the sleeping boy. Some desolate look shined far away in his eyes, the last bit of light disappeared in his eyes when he felt the clenched hand of pain around his whole heart. This was the last time, this was his chance, the last chance. Perhaps it was not for him to feel love, to have compassion for someone. Everything hurt in his heart and soul, he had eventually destroyed all that loved him, especially this guy, during his whole life so far. If the boy had known the truth, he had loved him with all certainty. The problem was that he did not wish such a life for the boy. It would be unfair, selfish, and above all, it would destroy both their lives.

 

"HE JUST LEFT! WITHOUT A WORD!" Tao exlaimed, his head hitting the table as a lonely sob left the back of his throat. He still couldn't believe it, it had been two years, two amazing years. He had done everything he could to give the perfect life to Kris. He had quit his own school, causing him being unable to find work for quite the while. And when he finally found a job as a co-worker in a medical store, the family who runned the store grew attached to him, paying him more then he deserved, which he always granted by working even harder then he usually did and he loved the family just as much as they loved him. Untill some day he noticed that Kris didn't like the fact they barely saw each other since they both worked a lot, so he had quit the job he loved, just to stay at home and wait for Kris to return. He did the chores, washing, cleaning, cooking, at some day's he felt more like a maid then he felt like anything else, but it was worth it. He had done everything, to pleasure Kris in every single possible way he could do. Even if they had their fights, they always made up quickly, afraid to lose eachother, afraid to have to let go of the other. But now, in the end, he was left alone. He couldn't believe that the other simply left him behind, without a word, without a single note. They hadn't had a fight in weeks, they were happy, or that was what Tao had thought. Apparently he had been wrong, he had been wrong all along.
"Maybe..." Tao looked up when hearing the voice and allowed the tears to roll over his cheeks. "MAYBE I SHOULD FORGET HIM. MAYBE I SHOULD MOVE ON. MAYBE I SHOULD GET A LIFE I KNOW YOU TOLD ME A THOUSAND TIMES ALREADY" Tao yelled out, smashing his head against the table again, crying his heart out. His best friend, Oh Sehun, had told him so many times that he had to move on, that he had to forget Kris. After all, it already had been six months. Tao already gave up on the fact that maybe one day Kris would return, but he wasn't able to give up on Kris in general. He still couldn't let the other go. He didn't want to let the other go.

During one of his mood swings, he got pretty angry at his situation. Het got angry at Kris, he basically HATED Kris deep down in every vain he had in his body. He ended up throwing the ring Kris gave to him during his proposal into the Han River, he burned down all Kris his clothes and the belongings the other had left in the house, he sold the whole house and with the money he had earned and just the little bit of stuff which Kris hadn't bought for him, he booked a plain to China and ended up crying in front of his mother, who welcomed him with open arms and listened to his rant, his regret and most of all his pain. After spending day's in his room, hours staring into the emptiness, his heart aching, he finally found the day where he felt better. He managed to give everything a place, burried deep down inside, locked in a room and he had mentally thrown the key right after the ring into the Han River. He smiled as he greeted his mom with a kiss on her cheek and he stole a apple out of her hand, which she probably wanted to use in her famous apple pies, and made a run out of the house before she could lecture him. Happily biting in the apple he made his way over the streets. He had made his mind up, he would go find himself a job and during that job he would follow some training course in order to get some schooling and papers to be able to find a even better job, eventually, in the future. Softly he started to hum a Chinese lullaby, walking through the small town and looked at the different stores untill he finally ended up at a small supply store. The kind which sold everything you needed, 24-7, but nothing to much, yet more then enough to keep people happy if they needed something in emergency. He walked in, hearing the bell in the door ring as he pushed through and he walked to the desk, looking at the elderly man in front of him. "Hello, my name is Huang Zitao and I am looking for a job. I was wondering if you might have something for me?" He asked the man politely who smiled in return. "I am sorry... but I don't need any workers, seeing we have to many people." The man said and Tao nodded, feeling a little down by the man his answer. He liked working in a small place and he didn't feel like asking for a job in a bigger company, basically no one would hire him since he had no papers nor the proper working experience. The man noticed the sad look on the boy his face and gently smiled. "However... I am a old man, I could use a extra pair of hands."
Before Tao knew it, the man asked him to move some boxes, keeping an eye on the stock in the store and in the back of the store and eventually Tao found himself keeping the store open at night, once the other co-working suddenly didn't appear any longer. He had been reading a magazin when a man walked in. He seemed familair to Tao, but he couldn't place it. His eyes followed the man who took some packages with instant ramen and went to Tao at te desk. After paying for his groceries, Tao finally clicked everything together. It was Chanyeol, the right-hand from Kris. The giant who always had made sure to stay with Kris side by side when they were in Korea. Politely he smiled at the man in front of him, realizing that the man didn't recognize him and he watched him leave, wondering what a man like him would do in such a small place. Or more, wondering what the man was doing in China instead of Korea. But if he just faced Chanyeol... would that mean... that Kris would also be near? A soft sound, which he couldn't place himself escaped his throat and he ran out of the store, after Chanyeol and outside he looked around desperately, looking for any clue which would show him that Chanyeol or maybe Kris, would still be around. Once his eyes weren't able to catch anything but the empty streets and his heart stopped beating like a maniac, he turned around, slowly going back in the store. Maybe he was just being crazy, maybe he was wrong, it couldn't be possible that he just had seen Chanyeol. That couldn't be.

Summer changed into Autum, Autum into winter and a few years passed.

Tao wasn't able to catch a glimpse of Chanyeol ever again. And with every season, he felt his soul leaving his body. He continued to work at the elder man his store at night, in the meantime he followed school, graduating and working even more at the man his place and he grew attached to the man, once he found out the man was alone, his son and wife no longer around after a accident. Tao's mother also grew attached to the man who took such good care of her son and in return she did everything for the man. Eventually the man asked Tao's mother to work for him as well, which she thankfully accepted since she hadn't much else to do, aside from the work in the house since Tao brought in the money to take care for her.
On a cold, but sunny wintry morning Tao ended up sitting on the hood of his car. Parked on a cliff, far away from the edge of it, he watched the sunset, coloring the water red. He wasn't depressed, he was just gloomy. Nothing seemed to be able to fill in his emptiness any longer, nor was he able to neglect the feeling anymore. He wrapped his arms round himself, tired, cold. For the last time he allowed the tears to fall down on his cheeks, swallowing heavily. "Zàijiàn.." he whispered and stepped inside his car, going back home.

Winter changed into spring, the cherry blossoms growing in the trees around. Tao wore a thick coat, a wool hat pulled over his ears and a long scarf around his neck. He watched the cherry blossoms in their big garden, from the chair on which his mom had helped him. Lately he had been sitting on the chair, watching the flowers bloom, the grass grow and the birds fly around. He had been getting sick a lot, getting a cold, which brought him a infection, causing him to end up in the hospital in critical condition and that repeated a few times. After a while he got to sick to be able to go out for to long and it didn't take long after it or all of his muscles started to hurt. He had always had the pain, but when he started to fall without any reason and dropping things out of his hands more often while carrying him, his mother got him tested in the hospital and he got diagnosed with Becker muscular dystrophy. He wasn't able to walk anymore after a while and his mother started to ride him around in a wheelchair once he wasn't even able to move his arms anymore. He had given up long ago and all he wished was his heart to stop sooner, so he wouldn't have to suffer for so long, but his heart didn't want to give up and continued to beat. There was no chance for him to survive this disease since he started to face trouble while breathing, but nonetheless, he was happy. He enjoyed every little thing he saw, as long as his mind could progress it. Thankfully he would look at his mother, slowly losing his voice untill he was sat there. In the middle of spring, the cherry blossoms fully bloomed and he closed his eyes. Only opening them one final time to see a very familair person who made his heart skip it's final beat out of happiness. The only person he had hoped for to see one final time before his heart finally had given up, fighting it's own battle just long enough to capture that final moment.

Kris