Thinking back, I can remember where all these feelings came from. I couldn’t help it, it just happened over time. When you’re in such close proximity to someone so much, you tend to let yourself become attached to him or her. I guess at times I wished it didn’t happen though. That the group had never separated. I feel that way, but then I remember the great memories that we have together and realize how lucky I am to still have him. 

 

Shim Changmin closed his journal and tucked it away under his pillow. It was late, almost 3 am. He knew he had his busy schedule coming up. But he wasn’t tired; in fact he was wide-awake. All he could think about was his friend, Jung Yunho. Yunho was his closest friend, the only guy who we really cared for. After their breakup, DBSK was left with just the two. Changmin only had Yunho to support him, and he had grown fonder of the man over the years. He couldn’t bear thinking about the breakup without feeling a small ache in his heart. This was another reason he was so close to Yunho, because he had stayed too. He hadn’t left. But for Changmin, that bond meant something special. He didn’t want to believe it, but he could feel the growth inside of him. He knew how much he needed Yunho. But could that need be growing into something more? 

 

He tried closing his eyes, but the thoughts kept him awake. He kept thinking about the handsome man, and how lucky he was to have him. In reality though he knew that his friend saw his as just that. A friend. Sure, there were the close hugs and the looks that they gave each other, but those were mostly fan service. And even if Yunho felt that way about him, it would be too risky of a relationship. But Changmin kept faith in it. That maybe just maybe, he would love him back. 

 

Eventually sleep took over, but by the time it did, he would have to be awake in an hour. His alarm rang loudly, and waking him up in an instant. He pressed snooze and rubbed his eyes, slowly climbing out of bed. He exited his room and dragged his feet to Yunho’s to see if he was up yet. On his bed, all that lay were the crumpled up blankets, so he knew Yunho had already woken up. He moved towards the bathroom, opening the door to find a shirtless Yunho brushing his teeth. Alarmed, Changmin took a step back, but he noticed that his friend’s body, and the fact that he had nothing on except for pajama bottoms. Yunho looked up from his reflection to see his taller friend, and his face immediately lit up.

 

“Changmin you’re awake!” he said, with a mouth full of toothpaste.

Changmin swallowed. Even with his toothpaste everywhere, Yunho still managed to look hot.

“Ye-yep, I am. Hur-hurry up, I need to get ready too.” He tried his hardest not to stare at his chiseled abs, or his shaped back. 

“You okay Minnie? You’re stuttering, you usually only stutter when you’re around girls.” Yunho said as he spat out his toothpaste and rinsed his mouth. He giggled and turned toward Changmin, smiling goofily. 

“Ye-yeah. *Ahem* I am fine. Now hurry up!” he said as he stared at the floor and spoke. 

“Minnie. You know I hate it when you don’t make eye contact.” he whined. He lifted the taller mans chin so he could see his eyes. Changmin gulped at the touch but stared into Yunho’s eyes. They were dark and softened, staring at Changmin sweetly. He smiled and said, “I love your eyes, stop staring at the floor.” and brushed past Changmin as he walked back to his room to change. 

 

Changmin was frozen there for a second, and slowly lifted his arm to feel his chin where Yunnie had put his fingers, a smile forming at his lips. He started to move about, getting ready for his schedule but all he could think about was his friend’s touch. 

 

After an hour, they left their tall apartment building and got ready for their upcoming photo shoot. They had received news about a highly requested theme for their photo shoot, which they would find out today. 

 

They climbed out of the car and headed into the building, where they were directed to their managers room. 

 

“Annyeong.” he greeted them. “We’re gonna get right into it today guys.”

“Annyeonghaseyo hyung.” they said in unison. 

“So today, your theme for the photo shoot was sent in by the fans. It’s going to be about making you guys seem…ier. We’re going to do scenes outdoors and indoors, and these will be part of a magazine section dedicated to you guys. Because it was so highly requested, the y pictures will be the main part. Got it so far?” the manager had already began to lead the way to the make up and clothing area, as the two followed suite. 

 

“Wow, this should be fun!” Yunho says in a happy voice. He stood beside Changmin who was still being prepped. 

Minnie turns his head to look at Yunho who is sporting a big smile, as if he was excited to shoot the intimate photo shoot. Changmin gulped again. Yunho looked stunning in his black open vest and tight jeans. It was supposed to be a y photo shoot, and Yunho had met the needs for it. His smile changed from a happy one to a smirk as he saw Min staring at him with mouth slightly ajar. 

“I know, I do look pretty amazing, but you gotta stop staring like that.”

“What? No, no, I wasn’t.” he said looking down again. 

“Hah. Sure.” Yunho walked up to him and sat beside him, waiting for Changmin’s makeup to be finished. Changmin kept sneaking looks at the handsome man beside him. His eyes glowed even more and he looked just perfect. Man, what I would do to make him mine, he thought. He really loved him; there wasn’t any avoiding it. He knew Yunho loved him too… just not in that way. 

 

They had been standing and sitting, posing in all sorts of ways and flashing y smiles to the camera. Changmin could see Yunho smiling beside him. He looked amazing. 

“Okay, Yunho turn and look at Changmin and put your arm around him.” the cameraman instructed.

Yunho complied easily, put his arm around the man and leans in towards him, looking at him and smiling a little. He touched Changmin’s face with his fingers, and flicked a bit of hair of his face.

“Yunnie…” he gulped. “What are you doing?” He kept his pose but he tried to stop his eyes from widening and prayed that Yunho couldn’t hear his racing heart. 

“Okay now Changmin, turn and look at Yunho and smile.”

Oh crap, was all the younger man could think. He slowly turned his head and maintained his smile, realizing how close their faces were. How it would take just a few seconds for them to lean in and… 

“Changmin, you have to smile.”  Yunho said softly. He complied, but kept staring at Yunho’s lips. “Sorry.” he murmured. He realized how this was becoming less and less of a y photo shoot and more like a dangerous love photo shoot. Yunho turned and smiled at the camera and gave a critical sneer. 

Changmin slowly recovered and looked at the camera. He tried to breathe normally. 

Eventually, by the end he had calmed himself down and his heart had stopped racing.

 

They arrived home at 1 am after their busy day of recording. Yunho hadn’t seemed to be bothered by their closeness at the photo shoot but Changmin couldn’t maintain eye contact for too long. 

 

“Minnie, about earlier today… can you come here?” Yunho’s voice sounded from the kitchen. 

Changmin looked up and walked timidly towards the kitchen, to find his friend leaning against the counter waiting for Changmin. 

 

“I gotta ask you something. Come closer!” He moved from the counter and walked towards the man until they were close. Eyes focused on the other, he continued. “At the photo shoot. You were so uncomfortable with being close, and so lost in your thoughts.” He had leaned in closer till their noses were almost touching. 

“Is there something you want to tell me?” he breathed. 

Changmin’s heart was pounding, and his eyes were huge. He couldn’t help it, for some reason he felt like this was the only chance he would get. 

“Yeah. There is. Yunho, I love you. Not just as a friend, but I am in love with you. And that’s why I was distant. Well in my mind. I am sorry.” it came out in a jumble of words, he wasn’t even sure if Yunho would understand it. He saw Yunho’s face turn from one of suspicion to surprise. He realized what he had just done. He realized that he had just confessed. He felt a feeling of embarrassment rising up inside of him. He turned around to leave but before he could, something caught his arm and stopped him. 

 

Yunho pulled him in, and kissed his lips. Changmin was so shocked, and he stared at Yunho. He pulled away and looked at him, with total confusion on his face. 

“Minnie. I love you too. And I always will.” he said in a serious voice. He then pulled Minnie back into the kiss. 

What, what?! What’s going on?? Am I dreaming? 

He could feel Yunho’s tongue flicking his bottom lip, begging for entrance. After a few seconds he recovered from the shock and opened his mouth. Yunho’s tongue explored his mouth hungrily. They eventually pulled away to catch their breath.

“Wait, Yunho. Are you sure?” 

“Changmin, there is a reason I am okay with being so close to you. I’ve been waiting so long for this.”

 The younger smiled and pulled him into the kiss, while pushing him towards a wall. He slowly slipped his arm under the older mans shirt and ran it up and down. 

Yunho moaned in pleasure, and greedily pulled the younger into his room. He pushed him into the bed and climbed on.

 

“Yunho. I really do love you.”

“Changmin. I love you too.”