It's been 3 months since we broke up.

It's been over 2 months since we last spoke to each other.

It's been over 5 weeks since school started.

313 days left till it's over.

This has what it has become. With both of us avoiding each other. The fighting urge inside of me to jump into your arms and tell you how much I need you, miss you..love you. To see you around the premises and continuously fighting that urge to hold you and tell you to come back to me. It's hard. The struggles of a broken heart. I feel vulnerable, weak. 

"You're overreacting" "It's good you let him go, he was a jerk anyway"

I guess so. Is it wrong to think otherwise? All those precious memories of us, of me, being happy by his side. Was he the jerk, or was I? People don't understand what type of guy he was to me. He was never abusive, mean, annoying. People just underestimated him. 'Never judge a book by its cover' is the old saying.

He was a friend, a close friend, that came to me one summer. I didn't think much about it at first, it was just the start of our friendship. A friendship that is now nothing but a mere memory, a image in one's mind. If I was given the chance to go back to the time our friendship blossomed, I would take it with no regrets. I miss him, as a friend and as my other half.

"I really like you" is what he said. "Nothing on earth will not make me not love you' is what followed. Was it just a lie? I always wonder to myself. But it wasn't him, the manipulating words he spoke was words of grace through my ears. He loved me. I felt it, I believed it.

I took him into my life. I felt nothing but happiness and joy for the times we spent together. It wasn't just me and him anymore, but us. The long friendship that blossomed one summer has grew into the start of a relationship, a stronger bond between us.

Boyfriend. One word, one million meanings. I used it carelessly, throwing it around like the selfish person I was. I was naive. I wanted nothing more than to be me and him..us. I wanted to live in the moment forever. This was just a dream, a realistic dream. It felt so real to know that he was mine.

Everyone blessed us with their greetings of joy. "I knew it" would say one."You are both so cute together" says another. I took it for granted, with the blessing of our loved ones, I believed we could go a mile, an eternity together.

He saw a future, I didn't. He looked me in the eyes, I looked away. It wasn't because of lost feelings, but the mere fact that the love he gave me, it was taken for granted. I selfishly concluded that we would last. I gave him my feelings but he gave me his heart. I didn't know.

I was naive. He gave