Yonghwa sighed as he walked along the side of Han River. Earlier that day, he received a message from his eomma saying that his pet, Jjing, has passed away. His pet has been sick for a while now. He knew this would happen. He thought he prepared himself for this. But, no. He was feeling really bad. He can’t even come home to Busan due to his busy schedule. And it sort of reminded him of something else. Or someone, rather. To somehow cheer himself up, he decided to take a stroll at the river. Before he knew it, his feet dragged him to that secluded spot where no one really goes. He sat down on the dirt and immediately, he felt relaxed even for just a little bit. But that was probably because memories of her came rushing to him. After all, this used to be their spot. They were probably the only people who knew about this part of the river, which was perfect for them. They used to sit here for hours, drinking their Iced Americano from the coffee shop nearby. They would talk about anything and would laugh about everything. Other times, they would just sit side by side in a comfortable silence. Those were good memories. But there was one memory that stood out the most. It wasn’t a good one. This was also the spot where he let her go. At that time, he didn’t even know why he did what he did. But he sure knew it was a stupid decision.

Yonghwa closed his eyes as he vividly recalled what happened that night. It was a cold winter night. They haven’t seen each other for such a long time. She came a few minutes after him. As she sat down beside him, she smiled. She looked really happy. Her cheeks were flushed pink from running, and also probably because it was so cold. Her jet black hair was flowing from her shoulders to her back. Her sweet, fruity scent was wafting through the air. She looked really beautiful. He dreaded what he was about to do. She was talking to him animatedly about something that happened at her just-concluded-drama’s after party. The drama that he was supposed to star in. He gave his spot to Minhyuk instead. Because if he would be cast in another drama with her again, people would surely talk. He did that to protect her. Everything he did was to protect her. Even what he was about to do. He didn’t know how to break it to her. He was quiet, just politely nodding and smiling as she talked. She noticed why he, the ever so talkative Yonghwa, wasn’t talking. She asked what was bothering him. That’s when Yonghwa told her it was getting hard. That the time they were spending apart was getting longer than the time they were spending together. That maybe, he was holding her back and that they needed to let each other go. The look in her eyes pained him so much. She said she was sorry for whatever it was that she probably did. She did nothing. It was all him and his stupid decision-making skills. She grew quiet for a while. Then she looked at him. She smiled but her eyes were saying otherwise. She agreed with him and his decision. She stood up and walked away. As he watched her figure slowly disappeared, he wanted to run after her. He wanted to tell her that he didn’t mean those words he said. But he didn’t. He just sat there in the cold alone with a broken heart.

He opened his eyes as he heard a dog barking, bringing him back to the present time. At first, he thought it was his Jjing who was his face all over. But it wasn’t.

“Bongji-ah! Hey!”

Yonghwa laughed as he let the dog smother his face with dog kisses. He noticed that the dog’s chain was still attached to her collar, which meant she ran away.

“And who did you run away from, you little cutie?” He asked while scratching the dog’s head.

But he knew the answer to his own question. He looked up. A few feet away from him, there she was, standing awkwardly while watching him and her dog. He smiled at her. She smiled back. His heart started beating a million times a minute as she slowly and unsurely made her way to him.

“Annyeong, Yonghwa-yah.”

Shin Hye greeted him in her adorable voice with an awkward wave. How long has it been since he last heard her say his name? Good god, how good it felt to hear her saying his name.

“Annyeong, Shin Hye-ah.” Yonghwa greeted back. He also waved in a very awkward manner.

Shin Hye slowly nodded her head, still smiling. “Wow. You’re here.” She laughed nervously.

“Yup. I am here.” Yonghwa answered. He sounded so lame. Why was he so lame around her? Like, all the time.

He didn’t know how else to answer her. Last time they talked to each other was when she made a surprise visit to him on his reality show. And that was more or less a year ago. They didn’t even actually talk. There were other celebrities then and cameras, lots of cameras. He was so awkward back then as well. He didn’t know that she was going to be there. So he just like she was an old friend. They really were old friends, and something more. They had seen each other countless of times after that, at award shows and parties. But none of them made a move to talk to one another.

“I didn’t know you’re going to be here. Maybe I should just..” Shin Hye was trying to take her dog from him.

“You’re welcome to sit here with me.” Yonghwa blurted out. He didn’t even know why he said that. “If only, you like.” He added.

Shin Hye just looked at him, her eyes confused and blinking. But she slowly nodded her head.

“Okay.”

She took a sit beside him on the dirt. There was a good amount of space between them. Enough for another person to sit between them. They were quiet. It was an awkward kind of silence. Not like the ones they used to have. Yonghwa wanted to say something, but he didn’t know how to start or what to say.

Shin Hye cleared . “I’m sorry about Jjing.”

Yonghwa looked at her. She wasn’t looking at him. “Oh, well..” He patted the dog while still looking at her. “You know about it?” Was she checking his SNS accounts?

Shin Hye turned her head to look at him. But seeing Yonghwa’s intense gaze at her, she immediately looked away. She stared at the river in front of her, instead. Yonghwa fought the urge to touch her chin and tilt her head to face him. Just like how he used to do before.

“Yeah. I heard from Minhyuk. He called me earlier.”

“I see..” Yonghwa murmured. Of course she heard it from Minhyuk. Why would she even take a look on his SNS accounts? He bet she didn't even know that he has an Instagram account.

They were quiet again. Yonghwa didn’t like this kind of silence. He racked his brain to think of things to say and to talk about. But nothing comes up. There was something that he wanted to ask but it was too inappropriate.

“Where’s Nori?” He just asked instead. He removed his gaze away from her and looked at Bongji instead. Maybe if he stopped staring at her, she would feel more comfortable and she would look at him while they talk.

“With Shin Won oppa. He takes her home with him sometimes.”

Yonghwa looked at her again. He was right. She was now looking at him. They held each other’s gaze. No one dared look at a different direction. This time, it was Yonghwa who had to look away first. Shin Hye’s eyes were too dark and deep. They were beautiful. He got scared that maybe if he stared long enough, he might get hpnotized and say things that shouldn't be said.

“That’s good to hear.” Yonghwa said. Then there was more silence.

“Do you always come here?” Shin Hye asked, breaking the silence.

“Yes. Whenever I feel sad. Or when I need an inspiration to write a song.” He answered.

What he didn’t tell her was that he comes to that spot for her. Because this place reminded him of her. That whenever he was here, it felt like they were still together.

“Funny how I never bumped into you here. I mean, I always go here, too.” Shin Hye said a little too enthusiastically.

“Alone, I hope.” Yonghwa joked. But inside him, he wasn’t joking. It would kill him to know if she has brought that guy to their spot for a date. He felt mad just thinking about it.

“No.”

And Yonghwa just died inside. Does this place not matter to her anymore? Just how much does she like that guy?

“Whenever I come here, it was either with Bongji or with Nori. Or both of them, most of the time.” Shin Hye added.

“Oh.” Yonghwa muttered in a sad voice. But his mind clicked. “Oh! With the dogs! Okay! I just.. I thought.. You know.. That maybe..”

Shin Hye raised an eyebrow at him. “You thought maybe what?”

Yonghwa shrugged his shoulders. “Well.. That maybe you have been going on dates here. With him.” He said in a quiet voice.

Shin Hye just scoffed. “Are you kidding? I would never do that.” There was a long pause. “This was our spot. I would never do that to you.”

Yonghwa sighed in relief. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Shin Hye shook her head. “No. I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“That you had to find out that way.”

He knew what she was talking about even if she didn’t say it. She was talking about that dating scandal she had with her drama leading man. The one that they both denied but turned out to be eventually true, as what Hongki told him.

“Don’t. That doesn’t even matter.” Yonghwa smiled at her.

He lied. Because it mattered to him. So much. That day, he didn’t know why but, Yonghwa felt betrayed. Shin Hye was going to find someone else, eventually. When that time comes, he thought he’d be cool with it. He wasn’t. He felt really hurt. And he only had himself to blame.

“Oh. Okay..” Shin Hye said, hugging her knees. Was it just him, or did she sounded disappointed with his answer. “Did you, uhm, see the photos?” She asked.

“No. Not really. But I think I saw one in passing while I was surfing the internet. But no, I didn’t. Really.. I didn’t have time.. I was actually really busy during that time.. So.. No.. But.. Yeah.. Nope.” Yonghwa said, trying to sound cool and non-chalant.

The truth was, he didn’t just saw the photos. He knows it. He memorized every detail of the photos. He was always looking at those dating photos. He had his interest at one particular photo. The one where Shin Hye and the guy seemed to be sitting inside a coffee shop. With that photo, he made himself believe that that dating scandal wasn’t true since it was the only photo of them together. It doesn’t even prove anything. They were just sitting side by side. Nothing compared to his and Shin Hye’s dating photos were they were holding hands. They both paid a huge sum of money so that the reporters won’t release it to the public.

“I was planning to tell you about it. Like to get your permission or something. But then, those reporters released the photos.” Shin Hye said.

“Really? Why?” Yonghwa asked, shocked.

“I don’t know.” Shin Hye shrugged her