"Jinki's back."

The room stilled, and several of the gang members glanced at each other in surprise, without seeing the looks on the four most powerful members of the gang. 

"How can you be sure?" Key asks, a young man in his early twenties with colorful short hair and feline contact lenses in his eyes. Key's usually in one of the upper floors, it doesn't matter which one, but he works there as a fashion designer, and is often who designs their gear for raids and other gang related business.

He glances at the person who brought them the information, a young lad named Jongin who honestly did nothing but follow their orders. Of course, his orders weren't to find out if Jinki had come back, but to keep an eye on the citizens and check if anyone suspicious were looming about. Jongin had returned to their base, underground and hidden by several stories of a concrete building, and had only the information of one person he found to be suspicious.

"I was with Jongin." Another voice calls, and everyone silently lets the tall male Chanyeol's words sink in. If more than one person saw Jinki, then there's no way it was a mistake, right?

"There are people who look like him, Song Joongki for starters." Minho is also one of the four most powerful members. He's usually not spending time at the base and offers to go undercover in gang operations because he's such a great actor, but Jongin had demanded that all four members were present.

Jongin pulls something out of his pocket, and the remaining gang members watch tensely as he holds out a photograph. Taemin is the one who receives it, Taemin who is also the manager of training sessions and a weapons specialist.

"According to the people I interviewed, he goes by Onew now." Jongin says, although no one had given the clearance to continue speaking. 

Taemin just glances at the picture for a moment before his face pales and his eyes widen. He's even trembling as he hands it over to Key. Key's not as pale as Taemin, but the surprise is evident on his face and he trades it off to Minho. Minho is the most calm out of the three and merely clears his throat before holding it out to Jonghyun. Jonghyun holds his hand out, and Minho quickly retracts his own.

"What was he doing?" Minho asks, and even Jongin is shifting on his feet now.

If Jonghyun refused to even look at the picture, it meant he was pissed, and no one wanted to be around when Jonghyun was pissed. Jonghyun is the one who calls the shots, because he has such a strong personality and a clear voice.

"According one of the interviewees Jongin mentioned earlier, he was working in a café that's under MBLAQ's territory."

The silence that followed was so tense that it could be cut with a knife. MBLAQ is a rivaling gang that had just a few months ago, interferred in one of their biggest drug transactions and taken the money that should have been there.

"Do you think he has something to do with it?" Taemin asks aloud, and both Key and Minho glance between each other. This is the kind of thing the four of them should discuss together, but Jonghyun doesn't seem to be interested in the topic at all.

"What should we do, Jong?" Key asks, and it's just to test the waters. Depending on how Jonghyun reacts to all of this, they can go out and confront Jinki himself or go straight to MBLAQ themselves.

"I say we go kick that traitor's !" Someone out in the crowd calls, and a couple of the others cheer. Taemin looks like he's about to join along, and Minho is beside him holding his arm back as if he can sense it.

Jonghyun looks like he's going to open his mouth and say something, but the doors to their secret base open and the silence returns much more brutally than it had before. The object of their conversation, now known as Onew, walks in and he's a sight to behold for anyone who hadn't seen him in years.

There's confidence in his gaze unlike the usual cower, his lips are set into a firm line, his hair is a soft pink shade, and it's obvious he's lost several pounds. Some of the gang members are reaching for their pistols and other weapons, but as soon as Onew steps foot into the room, he digs a pistol out of his pocket and puts it right on the ground.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Minho asks, and his glare towards the elder is something that should have had him wince.

Onew, however, isn't fazed at all and his eyes are roaming around the room until he finds Jongin. Back when he was still part of the gang, Jinki was the brains and the reason why anyone had even chosen to follow along. Of course he would know if someone was spying on him.

"I'm not here to pick a fight and I'm not here for pleasure." Onew's voice was clear as day and it felt like he was their leader again. This new Jinki, or Onew as he preferred it, was completely different from how he was years ago.

"Then what are you here for, Jinki? You're not exactly welcome any longer." Key says firmly, and Onew flinches for a fraction of a moment as his name is called, but he plays it off and so does everyone else.

Jonghyun's gaze is locked onto Onew's, however, and when the pink haired male looks over to him, Jonghyun can see a spark of longing in his eyes. It's quickly pushed away, though, and Jonghyun focuses instead of the anger that builds inside him seeing Onew before them.

"State your business and get lost you traitor." Taemin hissed, and Minho didn't even bother holding him back this time. It's not like anyone feels any differently toward Onew by this point.

Onew just looks at him, and Taemin finds his anger return to shame, for reasons unknown to himself. This person might be different, but it's Jinki, and Jinki has a reason for everything.

Finally, when Onew spoke, it was to the crowd of gang members, rather than the four that sat there and stared at him tensely, "Get out, I need to speak to them alone."

"What the hell do you think you're saying?" Key demands, and he's walking forward in moments, taking the collar of Onew's shirt in his hand. The crowd of gang members, however, slip right out of the room.

"Do you think you have the right to be here and order our gang around?"

"Let him go." Jonghyun's voice causes for everyone to still, because it's calm, almost at a forced calm that has Minho and Taemin stepping away from him.

Key does as he's told, and then Jonghyun's up out of his chair and he's walking over to Onew and he throws a fist immediately. He knows Onew can see it coming. He knows Onew can dodge it, and he knows he's punched hard enough to break the guy's nose, but Onew takes it.

"You left us five years ago, Jinki." Jonghyun growls, and he pulls Onew back to him just to punch him again. It's weird, because he doesn't react to being punched, but he reacts to being called Jinki.

"I'm not here to make up for what I did." Onew says, and even though there's blood trickling down his face and onto the ground, he's calm and his gaze is confident. Jonghyun hates that it sparks so many memories in him.

"Then why the hell are you here?" Jonghyun mutters, and he's holding Onew by the collar of his shirt much like Key had done. He leans in close, to be sure that he can catch anything in Onew's eyes and sees nothing but pain in them.

"Is there a chance someone outside of this room can hear us?" Onew asks quietly, and he groans a little as Jonghyun jostles him.

There are footsteps, and Minho and Taemin are standing in front of the door to check and make sure no one's eavesdropping. Key is behind Jonghyun, and their combined glares seem to finally affect Onew. They could be wrong, though, and he could just be a little sick from losing blood.

"Now spit it out and get lost." Taemin shouts, and Jonghyun wants to make Onew look at the betrayed, wounded expression on Taemin's face, but Onew's looking pitiful enough.

"I've been working with Joon of MBLAQ lately." Onew starts out, and the other four start to sneer. Not only had he left them, but now he's messing around with an enemy.

"So what?" Minho asks, and Onew weakly pulls Jonghyun's hands off of his collar and takes a step back.

"We've been investigating recent drug trades and what's been going on." Onew explains, and he wipes a trail of blood of his chin before continuing,

"According to Joon, all of the transactions that either gangs have been trying to complete were intercepted by an outside source."

"What does this have to do with us?" Key asks, and Onew looks over to Jonghyun like the answer is obvious.

"The only people who know your drug trade transactions are in your gang. It's not my place to say it, I know, but I needed to tell you before it was too late." Onew continues, and he crosses his arms over his chest. He'd look a lot more intimidating if his face weren't bleeding, though.

"You think we have a traitor in our gang." Jonghyun concludes, and the silence that ensues answers his question.

 

---

 

Moments, later, there was knocking on the door, and Taemin opened the door just slightly to show one of the gang members standing there and shuffling awkwardly. There's something akin to fear dancing in his eyes and he's shifting his gaze from the bloodied Onew to the fuming four. Onew himself doesn't seem to notice him, for his gaze is still on Jonghyun, and Jonghyun's returning gaze is cold.

"Joon is outside the building." The gang member says, and Taemin glances back to Onew.

"You brought him here?" Taemin demanded, and he crossed the space to push Onew from behind. Onew stumbles, but remains upright as he turns his gaze to Taemin.

"He must have followed me." Onew says, and then he sighs and turns back to Jonghyun. Jonghyun's not looking at him anymore, and it shows that he's done listening to whatever it is Onew has to say.

"There's a drug transaction happening on Friday with MBLAQ, I'll be joining them to see who it is from this gang that's not loyal to it." 

"This isn't your gang anymore, Jinki, you have no right to interfere." Minho states calmly, and Onew flinches again as his head turns to Minho.

"I don't have a right to interfere as a gang member, but I have the right as a hyung." Onew retorts, and he passes them to the door. There's no point in him staying any longer and the others need to discuss things without him in the way.

"Your gun, take it with you." Jonghyun says, and Onew stills for a moment by the door, glancing over to where his pistol lay abandoned on the ground.

"Keep it, and when this is over, kill me with it." Onew tells them, and they're left tensing as Onew leaves them. 

Jonghyun stares at his back until it disappears from view and there's a frown on his face. Jinki was never so careless when it came to his life and sounded eager to have them kill him. With how angry Jinki had made tem by leaving, they should have been more pleased with the idea of killing him, but Jinki did so much for them as a gang and as a hyung.

"Are you going to be alright, Jong?" Key asks quietly, and he's reaching forward to gently rub Jonghyun's shoulders.

The male in question, Jonghyun just walks forward and picks up the gun Jin-- Onew, has left behind. It wasn't even Jinki's gun to begin with, but his own. It was the weapons they had gotten ahold of when the gang was first formed and Jonghyun had given it to Jinki to keep him safe. Jinki never fired the gun, but when he checks the chamber, several bullets have gone missing. 

"What are we going to do about the bugs?" Minho asks, and Jonghyun realizes that Onew had mentioned the possibility of having a spy or two inside the gang itself.

Jonghyun feels a little stupid because Onew had caught on to the possibility of a spy when he wasn't even part of the gang anymore. Jinki had suddenly withdrew from their gang five years prior and disappeared, and when he's back in public, he's back with news that can potentially destroy the entire gang.

"Do you really believe him?" Taemin asks, and his voice is quivering. Jonghyun can't tell if he's upset or if he's angry, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that he also doesn't know if he should trust Onew at all. He did leave, and with no good reason, too.

"But what if he's right?" Key asks, his arms crossed over his chest. The other three look to him in surprise, because Key looks calm now and almost as if he's longing for something.

"We lost thousands of dollars already because our deals were intercepted."

He has a good point, and Key knows he does. That's why they stop talking about Onew, and look at each other to decide on a course of action. They eventually decide to give everyone the upcoming Friday off for two reasons. The first is because there might be a possibility of having their own gang members be a part of the transactions that are taking place without anyone's knowledge. The second is because they want to go and watch MBLAQ's transactions and see if they're really trustworthy.

"What do we do about him?" Minho asks, and the three of them turn to Jonghyun, because it's Jonghyun's orders that they follow now, rather than Onew's.

"Trail him." Jonghyun says with his eyes narrowed, and Minho knows it's his job since Taemin would just cause a ruckus and Key hasn't gone out into the field in fivee years.

"I want to know where he sleeps, what he eats, and I want to know what he's doing with MBLAQ."

"You can follow me upstairs for disguises." Key says, but Minho just shakes his head and headed for the doors.

"There's no point. Jinki's too smart for disguises." And they watched Minho go off silently, hoping that he'd be able to keep up with Onew and that Joon character. 

That night, the gang members are called into the room and told to take Friday off, and all of them cheer at the prospect of having a day to themselves. Jonghyun is the only one remaining in their secret base. Everyone else has gone home, and he's glad to have silence as his companion. He remembers meeting Lee Jinki for the first time, remembers exactly why he was drawn to the guy, remembers the feeling of wanting to protect him with his last breath.

Jonghyun's turning seven today, but he has no family to celebrate his birthday with. He's tired and dirty, and he's roaming the streets looking for some shelter. It was raining earlier, so his clothes are even soaking a bit, and his skin is dripping from where the holes in his shirt are obvious. He's asked a few adults for money, as well as other kids his age. The kids sneered, the adults ignored him.

He thought it was it, and that it was his last day to live. It wasn't his fault he had no parents, and it wasn't his fault he didn't have clothes, so why did everyone treat him like it was? What could a seven year old possibly do to deserve this kind of fate? Jonghyun should be in school, not roaming the streets for food.

And then he sees him. He's obviously a rich kid, because his clothes are prim and proper, and Jonghyun's a little envious that he doesn't have the same clothes or hair, even if the boy's bowl cut wasn't very attractive. He's with an older woman, holding tightly onto her hand as he skips beside her, and Jonghyun's jealous of that as well. His stomach is grumbling loudly, and the boy turns to him. Jonghyun's just sitting out on the sidewalk by this point, and he has no interest in asking for money anymore, but he watches the boy tug on the woman's hand, and they both turn to him.

The woman has a kind smile on her face and is quick to walk over to him, with the boy grinning beside her. Jonghyun doesn't know why they're looking at him when everyone else ignores him, but the lady crouches down and runs a hand through his natted and disgusting hair.

"What's your name?" She asks, and Jonghyun is a little nervous to answer.

"J-Jonghyun." He does anyway, and only because she looks like a nice kind of person. She offers him a meal and a place to stay and Jonghyun quickly accepts at the thought of food, and he gets up to follow them from a distance.

Until the boy hurries and graps his hand, and Jonghyun stares up at him in bewilderment, surprised that he would even be willing to touch such dirty hands. Jonghyun doesn't understand it, but he's just glad to be able to eat and sleep on a bed.

"I'm Jinki," the boy says eagerly, and he pulls Jonghyun so that they're walking together, the three of them,

"You can be my brother from now on!"

That Jinki was bright and innocent, and had the tendency to find strays. Their mansion was full of puppies and kittens and the several housekeepers seemed to be exasperated by the addition of a new mouth to feed, but Jonghyun was welcomed into their home.

Jonghyun thinks of that Jinki, and then replaces him in his mind with the one that calls himself Onew. It's not Jinki, it's not Jinki at all. But he wouldn't know what Jinki had become, since he left years ago without telling Jonghyun why.

Without letting Jonghyun stopping him.

 

---

 

On Friday, Jonghyun and the other three more powerful members of the gang went down to the docks. That's where most drug transactions take place during the night, in an isolated section of the docks where cargo storage tanks sit and wait with no one guarding them. They are the last to arrive, because they were left unaware of the time and the place this transaction were to be completed exactly, and also because they were waiting for Minho to return.

It was Friday morning when Minho entered the secret base. Jonghyun was waiting there for him and so were Key and Taemin, and they shifted in place as they awaited Minho's news.

"He found me out immediately." Minho tells them, and says that Onew and Joon were even waiting outside of the building for him to join them before they walked off and let him trail after them,

"He doesn't have a place to live. He lives in the homeless park under a tent."

Jonghyun feels himself get sick, because Jinki had more money than all of them put together and was sleeping out like a homeless person? Jinki was always pampered and protected, but he was suddenly tossing himself around like his life doesn't matter.

"How did he catch you?" Taemin asks quietly, and Minho shrugs as he explained that Onew hadd just ignored his presence for most of the days that he'd been trailing the elder.

"I think he figured someone would follow him. I fell asleep while I was watching him and I woke up and found a bowl of ramyun next to me." Minho explains, and then he goes off to say he lost sight of Onew after that. He waited all day, but when he was back, Onew was with Joon.

"They're close, a little too close." Key says with a grumble, and his eyes are watching Jonghyun as he speaks. There should be some sort of reaction, but Jonghyun is silent and just watches 

"Did they do anything together?" Taemin asked, and then Minho's face dropped and there was a spark of pain in his eyes.

Minho shook his head a couple of times before his lips parted, and his voice trembled as he spoke, "Hyung was crying about something, and Joon just watched him. I couldn't hear anything but he was definitely crying."

Jinki never cries, at least he never cries when someone's around to see it. It's caused a few arguments between himself and Jonghyun in the past, but Jinki's always been strong enough to keep his tears in. This Onew was something completely different. Jonghyun just listened and absorbed and remembered all the things that made Jinki his best friend and so much more.

They were all silent as they absorbed the information, because to every one of them, Jinki was too strong to cry before them. They had gone straight to the docks after that, although Jonghyun didn't want to go anywhere.

The sight that greeted them was a car. It was parked in a little clearing away from all of the storage units, but it was a space that their gang had discovered first. It meant that MBLAQ was already there. They parked and stepped out, and when they stepped closer to the other car, the doors opened and out stepped the five main members of MBLAQ.

"We're glad you're joining us." Seungho says, and he reaches a hand out to Jonghyun. Seungho's a decent guy, he supposes, but the gangs usually keep away from one another and he's surprised that they're being civil.

"Only because we want to know who has the balls to betray us." Jonghyun answers, and he stiffly takes Seunho's hand and shakes it. The leader of MBLAQ smiles in amusement and steps back so he can stand between his other members.

"We have the perimeter secured with cameras," G.O states, and there's a series of screens that they can see inside of the car for surveillance.

"Wait, no one's going to confront them?" Taemin asks, and his voice is full of disbelief because to him it's stupid that no one's going to be out there and catch the guys in the act.

"That's where you guys come in." Mir states calmly, and there's a grin on his face as he nods over to Thunder.

"Joon and I are going in disguise as drug traders, we'll need backup." Thunder explains, and his eyes glance over to Joon.

Joon is looking directly at Jonghyun, and it looks like there's a glare on his face. Jonghyun's glaring right back and he's tempted to turn and walk away from the deal right then and there, but Seungho cuts between them and pushes Joon in the direction of the storage units.

"Come on, we have a guy waiting inside one of the units for when the unit is opened."

The plan is simple enough, and Jonghyun glances down at his pistol with anger boiling within him. They follow Seungho in the direction of the storage units and Jonghyun is with Key as the other two go off in another direction, and they're waiting in the shadows with their focus on the one storage unit in the center.

"We know where all of them are, but what about hyung?" Key asks gently, but Jonghyun doesn't know how to answer. He was keeping an eye open for a head of pink hair, but he couldn't see the elder and there was no way he'd bring it up to MBLAQ.

There's no answer, because there is no time for an answer. They're well hidden in the shadows, but they can hear, and they can see figures approaching the storage unit. Joon and Thunder are among them, and Jonghyun can see two bodies that are also very obvious.

"Aren't those--" Jonghyun quickly covers Key's mouth because Chanyeol's looking around, and the two of them wait a moment before looking out again.

No one seems to have noticed them, and Jonghyun grits his teeth as the group of twelve boys nod towards one another and one of them is walking forward to open the storage unit. When he does, a body lunges forward and then there's Onew with an arm around the neck of the gang member and a gun pointed straight at the male.

Except, well, seeing that Onew had a gun had the other gang members quickly pull out their own weapons. Jonghyun figured it was their cue to head out, so he nodded over to Key and the two of them crept over to the group.

"H-hyung?" Jongin asked, and his eyes traveled back and forth between the four of his former superiors.

"Shoot me," Onew says, and the smirk on his face is one that has Jonghyun feeling uncomfortable as he watches one of the other gang members aim his gun straight at Onew,

"I have bombs strapped to me. The second I go down, you go down with me."

Time stills then, and Jonghyun's absolutely furious. He'd gone as far as to strapping bombs onto himself for this? For what reason, when they didn't even want his help? What did he think he was doing, throwing his life away so quickly?

Slowly, the group of gang members give up and toss their guns away from them. There are twelve of them so they'd have a better shot, but not when Onew has bombs covering his chest. The MBLAQ members run out from the shadows at that moment and start cuffing the gang members together. They look like police, but Jonghyun can tell that the twelve aren't going to last long.

"Can you handle this?" Jonghyun asks his own gang members, and Taemin glances at him for a moment before nodding. He's starting to smirk that sadistic smirk of his, and Jonghyun knows it's okay to leave.

So, he grabs Onew by the sleeve and pulls. The others stare at him, and Joon stops from cuffing the person he's behind, but Jonghyun pays no heed. Instead, he's focused on the person that's not even fighting his grip. They get to the far back of the lot, and Jonghyun practically throws Onew against the storage unit. His hands search, then, running over Onew's chest, and indeed, there are explosives covering his chest.

He goes to Onew's shirt, but Onew takes his hands and forces them away. Jonghyun looks up at him, and Onew's face is twisted into a deep despair, but Onew says nothing.

"Don't you dare do something so dangerous again, Lee Jinki." He promptly ignored the way Onew flinched, because even if he was uncomfortable with his name, he was still Jinki.

"I left our gang, I betrayed you. Isn't it best that I die?" Onew asks, and his eyes are dead, in a way.

Jonghyun growls and gets past Onew's hands, ing the shirt so he can pull the wires from the bombs and keep him from exploding, "Until the day I kill you, you're not allowed to die."

And Onew goes silent.

 

---

 

The next few days are uneventful. The gang members that were taking their business, now known as EXO, were dealt with according to their crimes against the other two gangs, and they had no reason to even bother with MBLAQ anymore. So they didn't, and things were good.

But they weren't at the same time, and that was because of Onew.

Onew was still in the city, according to Minho who kept a close eye on him. He should have already left or have been dealt with, but their gang SHINee isn't one that goes around killing someone who wants to change his life.

It didn't make it easy for Jonghyun, though, knowing that Onew was in the city yet not part of them. Onew was the reason they formed in the first place and had silently led them as one of the strongest gangs in the city. Why had he come back? Why was he living in a stupid tent? Why did he have to cause those feelings in Jonghyun's heart to stir again after so long?

It's because of these questions that Jonghyun finds himself at the homeless park at night. He doesn't know what he's going to do if he spots Onew and he's a little disturbed as he watches Onew go into his tent wearing a ripped old tee shirt and baggy pants. Was he disguised as a homeless person? Why were his clothes like this? Could MBLAQ have been giving him clothes?

As he sits there, watching Onew from afar, he thinks of back when he and Jinki had been children. He remembers how easy it was to be accepted into the Lee family, and how Jinki had even helped him bathe for the first time in years. How Jinki and his mother had fed him and the two of them told Jonghyun so many stories that Jonghyun had started crying remembering that he had to leave.

They never let him go, and it was the best birthday present he had gotten in all of his life.

When Jonghyun turned eight, Jinki's mother surprised him with a cake. Jonghyun hadn't seen a cake in years, and when he saw it that morning, he was excited to cut right into it and eat it first thing in the morning.

But he didn't, because Jinki had already gone off to school. Jonghyun didn't want to eat the cake without him, because Jinki was his best friend, and Jinki's mom only laughed and sent him off. 

Jinki surprises Jonghyun by appearing outside of his classroom during the lunch period demanding that they eat together. Over the year that they spent together, Jinki has spoiled Jonghyun countlessly. Sure, they fight over dinner and Jonghyun teases Jinki whenever he gets in trouble, but they're best friends.

This is the first time Jinki has come to visit him, though, and Jonghyun is delighted at the sight of the elder. Jonghyun doesn't have any friends because the majority of students don't think he fits in, but Jinki loves having him around and they eat lunch together. The smile only grows wider when he learns Jinki waited for him outside the school gates and the two of them walk home together.

"I got you something." Jinki says suddenly, and Jonghyun gapes at him. The family of two has been spoiling him ever since he joined them, but Jonghyun always finds himself surprised when they decide to give him more.

"What is it?" Jonghyun asks eagerly, and he's practically hopping in his spot. Jinki laughs at his expression and digs something out of his pocket. He drops a chain into Jonghyun's palm, and there's a ring hanging off of it. It's far too big for him, and he gapes at Jinki in surprise.

"What is it?"

Jinki doesn't seem to mind that he's asked the same question twice, and his foot is dragging across the cement with a grin stretching across his face, "Mom says that when I meet someone whose the most special to me, that I should give them this!"

"That sounds so girly!" Jonghyun teases, but his face is bright red and so is Jinki's. Then, Jinki does something completely unexpected, and leans forward to pull him into a tight hug.

"I'm so glad you're here." Jinki mutters and Jonghyun's sure his face is going to fall off. Jinki grew up as a single child and often expressed his loneliness, but Jonghyun didn't know he'd be so happy to have a nobody like Jonghyun around.

He'd definitely deny it if asked, but Jonghyun still has the ring and the necklace Jinki had all those years ago. Jinki would probably never notice, because it's Jinki, but it's sitting on his finger and when Jinki had gone missing, Jonghyun fell asleep staring at it every night.

He's fidgeting with it now, because Jinki is now Onew and Onew is living so poorly. Part of him feels guilty, even though he doesn't know why considering Jinki had left on his free will. There's movement out of the corner of his eye, but Jonghyun brushes it away thinking it's just a homeless person. It is, but it's the homeless person Jonghyun was still thinking of.

"You can just come in, if you're so suspicious of me." Onew says, and Jonghyun looks up at him immediately. When had he realized Jonghyun was out there? Jonghyun doesn't like the feeling of the two of them being there together, because it brings back so many memories.

Jonghyun stands and turns to face Onew, but the elder is already looking at him. He's never looked away. Jonghyun hates the look he's getting, because that look hides emotions that Jonghyun wishes to know about. It's this very look that Jonghyun's fallen for over and over again.

"Why are you living out here?" Jonghyun asks, and Onew is silent as his head drops. Jonghyun can't see his eyes anymore, and that's a good thing, because Onew just brushes his question off.

"What are you doing here, Jong?" Jonghyun freezes for a moment as he hears what Onew calls him. It's a name that he hasn't heard in five years and he hates how warm it makes him feel even to this day.

Jonghyun has the urge to punch him now, because he can't just call him that after disappearing! He can't just come back into Jonghyun's life like he never left it in the first place!

"Answer my goddamn question, Jinki."

And Onew flinches, and Jonghyun pushes the guilt that floods his heart as he sees it. He'd better flinch, because Jonghyun's come all this way to get answer and he's not leaving empty handed.

"Where else am I going to go?" Onew asks, and he tilts his head back up. Jonghyun sees the tears that are forming in the back of his eyes and there's a haunted look following them.

"To the base, where your room has been untouched for five years!" Jonghyun shouts, and some homeless people are peeking out of the tents to watch them. Jonghyun is heaving, and Onew just silently takes in his words.

"I don't have a place there, and you know it." Onew snaps back, but he's more tired than angry and he even turns away like he's going to leave. 

Jonghyun grabs onto his arm before he can and drags him away by force. He drags the person who used to be his best friend all the way to his former bedroom, and locks the doors from outside in case he attempts to leave.

"Please, let me go." Onew calls weakly from within the room, and Jonghyun fixes the door a glare.

"You're not going back there, Jinki." Jonghyun says, and he leans his head against the door, fighting his tears. He hates all of this, and how complicated the elder made something that was so simple,

"You're not leaving me again."

And he can hear the elder sob. It's a distinct sound that Jonghyun memorized the first time he ever heard it. He doesn't bother lingering any longer, and returns to the main room of their base, where he tells the other three of their group to take care of him without letting him go.

"But why, hyung?" Taemin demands, and Jonghyun watches with a thud in his chest as Taemin's own eyes fill with tears,

"After he left us, why do we want him back?"

"Because it's Jinki."

 

---

 

A few days later, Jonghyun receives a letter. It's more of a hate note than a letter, but it's collected by one of the lower members of the gang and Jonghyun had been surprised by the letter.

"Who wrote this?" Jonghyun asked, looking around at the others in hopes that someone knew who could have sent such a letter to him.

"I know you lied to me. Be prepared to pay the consequence." It sat there in someone's messy handwriting, but Jonghyun didn't know who and the others glanced at each other in worry.

"President Jung." Key finally said, and Jonghyun felt himself freeze at the mention of the name.

"President Jung as in the father of the girl you used to mess around with." Key added, after seeing the expression on Jonghyun's face.

Jung, Jessica Jung. Born and raised in the States under a very influential man. Jonghyun happened to win her heart when they met by chance six years back. He didn't know what harm it could do, since it was just a fling and not even one that would last. The father, President Jung never did like Jonghyun, as Jonghyun was unwealthy and barely educated. He dated Jessica just to spite the old fart. And spite him Jonghyun did. President Jung did everything to get in between the two of them, and because of that, things only progressed between him and Jessica.

Until they had . Oh President Jung was furious, and so furious he had sent some guys after their gang. It had been a bloody brawl, and most of them were injured, but without a warning, the President's people pulled out and they were left alone. They still don't know what happened to this day, and Jessica's been long gone to who knows where.

"I remember that." Taemin says gently, and Jonghyun's eyes shift over to Taemin for a moment. Taemin had gotten his nose broken so badly because of that fight that he had to get plastic surgery to cover it.

"How could we forget? Jinki left three months later." Minho adds on, and Jonghyun's hands clench at the mention of Onew's previous name.

Not only does he have threats hanging over his head, there was also the fact that Onew was still living in their base. Of course, he was confined to his room and was only allowed out to go to the bathroom, but he was constantly being monitored. Onew never argued or even attempted to disagree with their demands, just bowed his head when he was out of his room and trailed after the gang members that ordered him about. He didn't eat, though. He would drink water, but he wouldn't eat. Jonghyun's disgusted by his lack of self concern.

They had tried getting him to eat, but the tray of food would always come back untouched and neither of the four more powerful members wanted to talk to Onew, so they refused to show concern to him while he was aware. Jonghyun's a little guilty, since Onew doesn't have much to do in his room, but Onew's never raised his head and Jonghyun's never attempted to ask if he was happy.

"What can we do about President Jung?" Jonghyun asks, his eyes looking over the note and flipping it over in his hand.

"The only person who knew anything about him was..." Key trails off, and then he clears his throat. Jonghyun knows who he's talking about, he'd be stupid not to know.

"Do we have any other options?" Jonghyun questions, though he's holding back a sigh. He really doesn't want to ask Onew about it, considering everything that's happened, but Onew does know the most about President Jung.

The silence looms for a few minutes, and then a pair of gang members go to Jinki's room and partially drag a sleepy Onew behind them. Jonghyun feels a little fond of Onew, before he remembers exactly why he cut off contact with the elder.

"What's going on?" Onew mumbles, and his eyes are half open. Onew's probably able to tell that the situation is serious from the silence, because his eyes clear within moments and his arms are at his sides.

"What do you know about President Jung?" Minho asks, and Onew's face pales drastically. It's obvious he knows something that they don't, but he's shifting on his feet and he glances between them anxiously.

"You're all dismissed." Taemin calls, and the remaining gang members clear out of their base instantly. They can tell that so long as Onew is with them, the conversation is one they don't want to be a part of.

Onew is starting to take a step back, like he's going to sprint off after the other gang members to escape, but Minho is quicker and has a hand on the collar of Onew's shirt to keep him still.

"Why does it look like you have something you're hiding from us, Jinki?" Key asks, and the smirk that grows on his face causes Jonghyun to believe that he was hoping to make Onew flinch.

"What do you know about President Jung, Jinki?" Taemin asks this time, and even he's smirking when he sees Onew flinch. Jonghyun's not stupid, he knows that they enjoy causing him pain since it's easier to get information from someone in pain.

"You should probably start talking, Jinki." Minho joins in, but his face doesn't sport a smirk. He's even frowning as Onew flinches, though it might have something to do with the way Onew is now drawing into itself.

"W-why do you want to know about him all of a sudden?" Onew asks, and Jonghyun finds himself looking at Jinki instead. Not the confident, fearless Onew, but the Jinki that was afraid of anything that could hurt him or any of the others.

"I got a hate note, something about me lying to him." Jonghyun informs him, and if it's possible, Onew's gone even more pale. 

They were right, he's hiding something from them and there's the question of why he's hiding something. What does he have to hide when it was Jonghyun who was involved with Jessica and not himself?

"Start speaking, Jinki." Minho says as he shakes the elder, and Onew's crying now. There are actual tears streaming down his face and he's shuddering and biting on his lip to keep the sounds of his sobs to himself.

"What's so bad about this that you're so scared to tell us, Jinki?" Jonghyun asks, and he gets off his chair to step closer. Onew takes a step back as he gets closer, though he only ends up colliding against Minho and is pushed away roughly when Jonghyun is close enough to have both hands on his shoulders to keep him there.

"President Jung has only one daughter, Jessica Jung." Onew says in his sniffles, and the other four glance at one another before turning back to him.

"We already know that, Jinki." Taemin reminds him coldly, and there's a snort that escapes his lips when Onew flinches once more.

Onew glances over to him and nods slowly, and his eyes return to Jonghyun and they almost look dead. Jonghyun wonders why he seems so drained of energy. Onew's hands slowly reach up for Jonghyun's hands, and without realizing what he was being made to do, Jonghyun's hands fell to his sides.

"Jessica Jung got herself pregnant out of wedlock." Onew says firmly, and it takes Jonghyun a moment before he realizes what Onew means.

"No, you don't mean--" Minho begins, but he cuts himself off and runs a hand through his hair as a broken sigh escapes his lips.

"But what does this have to do with the note?" Key asks, and Onew glances down at the note he's waving around for a moment before his eyes return to Jonghyun.

"He would have killed all of you that day when he found out Jonghyun and Jessica slept together, so Jessica and I met up and we talked to him." Onew says slowly, and his head is bowed now as he speaks. He's still trembling, but his voice remains strong.

"We lied that Jonghyun and Jessica dating were a cover up for myself dating Jessica, since I have the wealth and influence that President Jung accepts over Jonghyun's humble birth." 

"Is that... is that why you left?" Taemin asks gently, and he's even taking a step closer to Onew, like it's the first time he'd seen him in years.

"The President promised to let you off if Jessica and I left the country, so other aristocrats didn't know of Jessica's pregnancy." Onew continues like he hasn't even been interrupted by Taemin, and now Key has a hand over his mouth as he absorbs the information.

"Why didn't you tell me, Jinki?" Jonghyun's pissed again, and he reaches out to pull Onew closer by the collar. His voice is shaking in rage and Onew does nothing to fight his grip.

"You would have gone and told him as soon as you knew. If he knew those children were yours, Jonghyun, he would have killed you instantly. I didn't want you to die." Onew explains, and though his words are full of pain and there are tears dropping onto the ground, Jonghyun freezes at his choice of words.

"Children? As in more than one?" Jonghyun asks, and Onew lets out a sob this time, a sound that has his heart crack many times over.

"A pair of twin girls. They looked a lot like Jessica, but they had you in them. We named them Jungah and Sora, and I watched them grow for five years..."

 

---

 

Onew's appearance is becoming less mysterious, but a lot more confusing. Jonghyun's been unable to even look at him since Onew told him about Jessica and their children. He had children and he didn't even know about it. Jonghyun hates him for hiding the truth, but he also hates that Onew went out of his way to protect Jonghyun from something Jonghyun did to himself.

He's the only one avoiding Onew, though. The younger three, after learning the elder's reasons for leaving were able to approach him again like he never left in the first place. Of course, Onew was a different story himself. He remained silent about Jessica and the twins, and only left his room when he wanted to use the bathroom. He actually ate a little now, so that's something positive that happened since the day President Jung's note came, but nothing's changed between Jonghyun and Onew.

Jonghyun refuses to let anything change, because he's the reason Onew left in the first place. If it weren't for his plan to spite President Jung, he wouldn't have had with Jessica. If it weren't for him, Jessica wouldn't have gotten pregnant and Onew wouldn't have decided to leave so Jonghyun would be spared. If it weren't for him, who just wanted to mess around with Jessica because her dad seemed to hate him so much, Jinki wouldn't have left to become Onew.

He mulls it over every night. He wonders how Jessica is doing, and how she felt when she figured she was pregnant. He wonders why she called Jinki rather than himself. He wonders what Jinki felt when she told him it was Jonghyun who would be the father. He wonders what his daughters thought of him, or even if they knew about him. He wonders why Jinki came back as Onew so suddenly without any explanation as to why he was there. More than those, he wonders if maybe Onew feels betrayed because of what Jonghyun did with Jessica.

Tempted to ask, Jonghyun waits until midnight when everyone else is gone and then appears before Onew's bedroom door, knocking lightly against it. There was the chance that Onew had already fallen asleep, but his knocking was answered within moments. Onew's hair was ruffled like he was tossing around in his bed, and his lips were widened in surprise, but Jonghyun's heart starts thumping faster as they're together.

"Jong? Are you okay?" Onew asks, and Jonghyun hates that it makes his heart beat even louder. It should be illegal, the things Onew does to him.

"Hyung, why didn't you tell me?" Jonghyun asks, and he watches Onew at his lips, his eyes softening so much it looks like he's going to start crying again.

"Come in, I'll show you a picture of them." It's all he says instead, and he even widens the door so Jonghyun can follow him in. Jonghyun trails in after him without so much as a complaint.

Jinki's room hadn't been touched since he left, and Jonghyun's hit with the scent that is unbearably Jinki, as well as the memories that come with it. The light is and Jonghyun watches as Onew heads over to the desk that Jinki spent day after day studying on, and lifts a small photograph. Jonghyun thinks of getting closer, but his feet are rooted where they are and he just watches Onew.

"You can sit, if you'd like." Onew weakly gestures to his bed and Jonghyun complies slowly, and only because Onew himself is moving to sit down on the bed.

When they sit together, on the edge of the bed with just a small amount of space between them, Onew holds out a small picture, and Jonghyun takes it in his hands. Indeed, the children in the picture are his and Jessica's, for they look exactly like the young woman that's also in the picture. Onew's not in the frame, but Jonghyun can tell he's the one that took it. There's an adorable smile on both young girls' faces, and they mirror the smile that's found on Jessica's. His fingers trace over their expressions slowly, and a tear escapes his eye.

Onew raises a hand and wipes his tear away. Jonghyun's absolutely startled by this and raises his head immediately, but Onew's already inching away like what he did was the most shameful thing he ever experienced.

"Why did you keep this from me, hyung? It wasn't even your fault." Jonghyun mutters, and his eyes are locked on the elder's. Onew never looks away, but there are tears forming in his eyes and it's almost as if he doesn't know what to say.

"It was your children, Jong. President Jung would have made her give up her children, and I couldn't let that happen." Onew sighs, and Jonghyun realizes that Onew raised his children, which meant that he'd probably grown attached to them.

"Why did you leave them and come back?" Jonghyun asks, because he knows the elder has a soft spot for people younger than him. It wouldn't be easy to leave them behind, not for him.

"I had no choice, President Jung found out about the lies and I had to make sure you were okay." Onew says, and he finally drops his head like Jonghyun knows he's been wanting to.

"So you left and came back, all for me?" Jonghyun asked, and he could see the slight nod that Onew gave him in return. He doesn't exactly register what he's doing, but moments later, he has his arms full of the elder and Onew's sitting there frozen, like he doesn't know what to do.

"I'm so sorry you suffered because of me, Jin-- Onew." Jonghyun could feel the way Onew immediately loosened in his grasp, like just the calling of his new name was all he was waiting for all along.

Onew's arms wrap around him tightly, and he's sobbing again. Jonghyun doesn't mind, he's waited years to be able to hold the elder as he cried. Onew's arms are holding him like he's made of glass, and Jonghyun finds himself melting at the thought of being so precious to him.

"I'm sorry I left, Jong." Onew whispers into his ear, and Jonghyun only squeezes him a little, because now that he thinks it over, why does it matter? He's back, and that's all that should matter.

Jonghyun pulls back eventually, since it's late and he should be off to bed, but Onew's already fallen asleep in his arms like the giant kid he was, and with a light chuckle, Jonghyun tucks him into bed. He looks at the door for a moment, but after a moment of hesitation, he just turns the lights off and crawls into bed with Onew.

It's weird, he's a father yet he doesn't feel like one. He'd love to meet his children, that's for sure, but to Jonghyun, no one's more like family to him than Onew himself, and now that Onew was with him, he wouldn't go anywhere. But he knows that to Onew, it's different, and that he's raised a pair of children that could possibly mean even more than Jonghyun himself.

Why would Onew have left if those girls meant so much to him? Onew had said he left because he wanted to protect Jonghyun again, but wouldn't he have brought the girls with him, or perhaps just stayed there to protect them? In comparison to Jonghyun, those girls had absolutely no way to remain safe. The situation is still not making much sense to him and he knows there are things Onew is hiding from him, but Jonghyun's a little worried.

In all the years he'd been close to Jinki, he'd known that the elder will always hide something if it meant protecting Jonghyun or someone else. Did keeping whatever he was keeping to himself supposed to protect someone. If so, Jonghyun kind of doesn't want to know what's being hidden from him.

 

---

 

It's almost as if Onew never left. Taemin drags him by the arm starting the moment he gets into their headquarters, and Jonghyun almost feels bad when he watches a sleepy Onew being dragged about to some kind of weapons training that Taemin's made up sometime that morning. Key still doesn't go out on the field, but whenever he needs help with designing equipment, he goes and locks himself in Onew's room, despite the fact that Onew should be exhausted after Taemin's training. If that's not bad enough, there's Minho, who actually does pull the elder onto the field when he goes undercover, and Onew just lets himself be dragged along because well, this is better than being ignored by them.

But for Jonghyun, it's not that easy. He can't pretend that Jinki never left. He can't pretend that his best friend didn't leave and brought someone named Onew back instead of him. He's not that good at moving on. Neither is Onew, apparently, because he still doesn't talk about Jessica or Jonghyun's two children. He doesn't say a thing about the night he and Jonghyun shared his room. Jonghyun can't blame him. Jonghyun's the reason his life was turned upside down. He just wishes that he could look Onew in the eye.

The elder tries, whenever they're in the same room. He tries anything just to have a word with Jonghyun, even if it's not about what happened when he left, but Jonghyun can't do it. Not when he knows he's the reason all of this has happened. Not when he can hear Onew cry himself to sleep every night and think that he shouldn't have even been involved in any of it. Jonghyun grows to hate himself more than he had started out, and because of this hatred, he doesn't want to feel Onew's loving gaze. He stopped being deserving of it a long time ago.

Except, well, living in the same building makes it a lot harder to avoid Onew than he originally expects. Especially one night when Jonghyun's wrenched out of his sleep due to loud, terrified screams coming from next door. It takes him a moment to pull himself together, pressing a hand against his drowsy head to keep himself up; but when he registers the screams and the fact that they're coming from Onew, he bolts out of his room and into the elder's.

He doesn't pay mind to the fact that he's only in boxers, just throws the door open to Onew's room and slams it shut. Onew continues to sleep because his screams are louder than the slam of the door and he wouldn't be able to hear it anyway, Jonghyun's sure, with how much he's thrashing. He wastes no further time, climbing onto the bed and pinning Onew down with his own weight, his hand reaching up to press itself to the side of the elder's face as he brushes away the blasted tears that were marring the beautiful skin.

"Onew- Onew- Jinki!" He calls out, and he's relieved when the elder responds to being called by his birth name. At least he still knows who he is. He stops trying to throw Jonghyun off of him, whimpering as he wraps his arms tightly around the younger male's waist and buries his face into Jonghyun's bare chest.

"It was just a nightmare, Jinki. I'm here." Jonghyun sooths, and the shaken male in his arms doesn't do anything but squeeze him in return.

Jonghyun can feel his heart break. When they were younger, Jinki had been plagued with nightmares about his abusive father and well, Jonghyun was there to hold him whenever he did. He wasn't sure if the elder was screaming about that now, for it's been years since his last nightmare, but he can't ask.

"Jong-... Jong-" The elder cuts himself off as his tears stop, but he doesn't let go of Jonghyun and Jonghyun doesn't let go of him. Never mind that he's laying on top of the elder, at least he can give Onew some sort of comfort.

"We don't have to talk about it, Jin- Onew." Jonghyun corrects himself, but the elder doesn't react at all to being called Jinki, only reacts when Jonghyun loosens his arms like he's going to pull away, and he's pulled right back against Onew.

"I need to. I need to tell you, Jong. It kills me to keep this from you. I see them, every night. Every time I close my eyes. I see them, I see them. Jong it's terrifying. I shouldn't have left them. It's because of me that-"

Jonghyun silences him by pulling back just enough to cup the elder's face in his hands, and Onew's eyes are full of despair as they lock gazes. His lips tremble like he wants to continue spilling his nightmare, but Jonghyun doesn't let him, using his fingers to Onew's cheeks.

"Then tell me, Jinki. But calm down first." He says softly, and though he can see the lump that the elder swallows, Onew nods and closes his eyes for a few moments.

"President Jung. He found out about you and Jessica,"

Jonghyun wants to state that he knows this already, but then Onew's eyes are open again and Jonghyun bites his words back because there's so much pain in the eyes that used to be flooded with light,

"I - I was working nearby at a bookstore. I had gone for just the day, even though I had a feeling I shouldn't have. There was a feeling, Jong, like the feeling I had when I knew I wanted to take you home and make you part of my family. I should have listened. If I listened, I-"

"Jinki, what are you trying to say?" Jonghyun asks his eyes narrowing down at the elder because he's not sure of what the elder is saying anymore, what with all of the cut offs and rambles.

"They were killed, Jong!" Onew finally cries out, and time freezes for Jonghyun as Onew falls apart in his arms once more.

"President Jung had sent hitmen after the girls and I, but they had somehow gotten Jessica instead of me. I went home to find them lifeless, and I- I just had to come back and make sure you were okay. If I stayed with them I could have protected them."

Jonghyun pulls himself off of the elder in a daze, sitting at the edge of the bed with his shoulders drawn in and shaky breaths leaving his lips. Dead. The girls he just found out he had were dead. And Onew, he was the one living with the guilt and weeping after losing them, not their own birth father.

"Do you know... how?" Jonghyun asks quietly, and Onew sniffles as he slowly pulls himself to a sitting position, and Jonghyun turns back to see that the space between them is something he dreads having created.

"The gun you gave me when we first started." Onew answers, his eyes on the hands that lay limp on his lap. With the moonlight peeking through the window, Jonghyun takes in the swollen eyes and the ever beautiful elder male, and without even realizing it, he scoots over and takes both of Onew's hands in his own.

"I'm going to find him, Jinki. I'm going to find him and I'm going to kill him." Onew tenses for a moment as he hears what Jonghyun is saying, but when he looks up, Jonghyun takes in the unfamiliar hardness in his gaze.

"I'll help however you want me to."

Jonghyun's smile is a little forced as he stands up, turning to leave the room. As much as he loves that the elder came back with confidence, a hard expression like that didn't suit him. Onew was always the gentle leader of their gang, he wasn't supposed to want to kill anyone.

"I'll call Taemin and the others in the morning. Sleep well."

But Onew doesn't let him leave. He just leans forward and wraps a hand around Jonghyun's wrist, and the younger of the two glance back at him in a mix of confusion and longing. The pain that was dancing in the elder's eyes is gone now, replaced with a gentle expression of peace and love, and Jonghyun wishes more than anything that the expression Onew wears now would stay forever.

"Stay with me." He says quietly, and it sounds like he's begging, but Jonghyun doesn't want to stay and be weak, not when he knows the power Onew has over him. Not when he knows he's the reason behind Onew's nightmares.

"I can't. Not tonight, at least."

But Onew doesn't let go. He simply stares, and his expression morphs into a heartbroken one. Why does he still look at Jonghyun that way? Jonghyun, who turned his entire life upside down.

"Please. Please don't leave me alone." Onew begs outright this time, and Jonghyun just notices that the elder is also in his boxers.

"... Fine." Jonghyun sighs after a long pause, and he climbs into the elder's bed. It's a little awkward at first, with neither of them knowing what position would make their sleeping more comfortable. Moments later, however Onew turnss on his side and wraps his arms tightly around Jonghyun's waist, his face resting against the younger male's neck. Jonghyun can feel Onew's heartbeat accelerating as they lay together and he drapes his own arm over Onew's.

They're both broken, but they're broken together.

 

---

 

When Onew wakes up the next morning, Jonghyun's not there, and a pang of disappointment fills his chest as he runs a hand through his messed up hair. He's slow to get ready, partially because he's mad at Jonghyun and partially because he has nowhere else to be at the moment.

Well, apparently he's wrong about that, because when he gets to the main room where everyone usually gathers to hear the day's plans, it's empty. Confused, Onew starts going into other rooms, including Jonghyun's. They remain empty, as if no one had ever been there to begin with and Onew feels betrayal pooling in his stomach.

Did everyone just leave him behind? Was it his treatment after leaving them all those years back? Intent on grabbing his things and leaving the place for good in case someone were to go looking for him, Onew enters his room once more and on the desk, finds a piece of paper.

Onew's a neat freak, so that's obviously not his paper. With his lips curled into a grimace, he walks forward and picks the paper into his hands, and he notices instantly that it's in Jonghyun's writing.

Jinki,
I still don't understand why you chose to come back for me. Not after all the I put you through with this. You know it already, don't you? That this had nothing to do with you? Yet, you chose to carry this burden and you were the only one to be crushed by it. I can't let that happen anymore. Not for me. I can't let you continue to be Onew. Maybe you created him when you lost those girls, but hyung, don't hold onto that anymore. They wouldn't want you to. I don't want you to. Go and be free, Jinki. I don't know if I'll make it back today, but either way, don't come looking for me. Please.

And his world shatters around him in that moment. He's quick to leave the building, grabbing the keys to Jonghyun's motorcycle. Jonghyun would kill him if he knew Onew decided to take his baby out for a spin of any sort. His mind is racing as he swerves through traffic, heartbeat louder than the sound of the motorcycle's engine. He doesn't get why Jonghyun's so stupid, sometimes. Doesn't he get it? That Onew just wants him alive? That Onew just wants to hold him because he couldn't even hold those girls at the end of the day.

He finds them instantly. He knows where they are. President Jung's mansion. He wishes they aren't there, but the gang life gets to be pretty predictable after a while. Everyone knows how dangerous President Jung is and chose to follow Jonghyun into battle knowing that. They paid the price, too, according to the many young men scattered along President Jung's lawn, bleeding out and crying for help. Onew calls for MBLAQ to rescue them. He knows no one else trusts them, but none of them know MBLAQ the way Onew's come to know them.

"Jinki!" He hears Taemin shout, and he's just in front of the mansion's doors, hiding behind a pillar as he leans over and shoots President Jung's men like they mean nothing to him,

"You shouldn't be here!"

"Neither should you, but here you are." Onew retorts, and he pulls his own pistol out of his pocket as he shoots after Taemin, though his shot is a lot less accurate.

"Jjong's going to kill you." Taemin clicks his tongue, and Onew abandons the shootout in order to grab Taemin by the collar and pull him down to face level.

"Tell me where he is. I can't lose him, too."

So, after a moment of hesitation, Taemin rolls his eyes and points Onew in a direction that the elder goes in without a complaint. He assumes it's the right way because he's inside the mansion now and he comes across Key pressing the button on an elevator. Now it looks pretty dangerous, but Key's almost just as good a shot as Taemin and Onew barely makes it onto the elevator with him.

"Jinki, you can't be here." Key hisses out, but though his voice is hard, his eyes take on a grateful spark because he's sure Onew's the only one that can stop Jonghyun from doing something stupid, if need be.

"But I am." Onew responds easily and the two start shooting the second the elevator doors part.

That's where they meet up with Minho, and when they hear footsteps behind them, the three raise their weapons and turn around to see Taemin had followed them using the stairs.

"There's no going back if you go in there. Are you sure you want to?" Minho warns him, a hand on his shoulder and his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Is Jonghyun in there?" When all he gets in return is Minho's stiff nod, Onew pushes past him and throws open the door to President Jung's study.

And they're both there. Jonghyun's bleeding out of his shoulder from a bullet wound and President Jung is holding his stomach as if he were also nursing a wound, but both stop and turn to stare at Onew with their pistols drawn and pointed at one another.

"Do you love him so much that you're willing to even die with him?" President Jung asks, and Onew's about to retort and ask him what he means since he's clearly outnumbered, but then three limp bodies are tossed into the room and Onew barely registers the blood coming out of Taemin's nose.

"Jinki, run!" Jonghyun shouts, but within moments, shots are fired and the guards that tossed the three of their members are on the ground, and so are both Jonghyun and Onew. Onew had been shot in the chest, Jonghyun once more on the other shoulder. President Jung was shot right through the head, and the MBLAQ members quickly piled into the room to make sure that yes, everyone who needs to be alive is alive.

But Onew doesn't care about anyone else. Not as much as he cares about Jonghyun, at least. He wants desperately to crawl over to Jonghyun but the blood makes it hard for him to move. But that's okay, because a moment later, Jonghyun's on his knees beside him and cradling his face gently. They're both crying, Onew out of relief that at least he got to save Jonghyun, and Jonghyun because dammit Jinki, why do you never listen to me?

"I told you not to come looking for me you bastard." Jonghyun sobs, and one hand lets go of Onew's face in order to put pressure on his chest and stops the bleeding. They're both not sure that the elder can be saved but even so, Onew wants to be with Jonghyun for at least the last moments of his life.

"I'm not going to lose you again, Jong." And then, unexpectedly, Onew reaches for the hand that holds the ring he had once given Jonghyun and he presses a kiss right onto Jonghyun's bloodied knuckle.

"Idiot. You're the one whose dying!" Jonghyun blubbers, and then he's the one that's rambling. Onew's used to being the one that rambles, but seeing Jonghyun cry in front of him now reminds him of when they were children and had no one to protect them but each other.

So, Onew cuts him off by closing the space between them and capturing Jonghyun's lips in a kiss that waited far too long to be realized. He can barely breathe but when he feels Jonghyun's smooth and chapped lips moving against his own, he couldn't care less about the air he needed. Jonghyun was much more important than air, to him.

And then he starts coughing, and Jonghyun quickly lets him go and calls out to Joon frantically because Joon has a medical kit in his hands. He's told to move aside in case there's something Joon can do for Onew, but Onew refuses to let go of Jonghyun's hand and though Jonghyun can't exactly feel it due to his own wounds, he allows Onew's grip to tighten.

"He'll be alive." Joon assures him after what seems to be hours of working on the wound that is sure to leave a scar on Onew's body. Jonghyun releases a sigh of relief and slowly pulls his hand away from Onew, knowing that he was properly sedated and treated.

"But now for you."

Jonghyun refuses the treatment, however, and it's not because it's Joon. He's received many bullet wounds before to know how to treat himself, no matter how painful they were. Instead, he goes over to the younger three members of his gang and he helps treat them, despite Key's medicate ramble of "when I wake up, I'm going to kill your ."

And his eyes are constantly glancing over in Onew's direction to see if the elder was still there.

 

---

 

The funeral was a long and drawn out ordeal that Jonghyun didn't want to sit through. Not only did he have a lot of pent up energy he wanted to release, Jinki was sobbing and shaking beside him and Jonghyun didn't want him to sit through it anymore. Telling a twelve year old that his mother was shot dead by the man she thought she was safe from? Yeah, it's bound to scar a child for life. With the death of his mother, Jinki was alone in a cold world that didn't seem to care for much other than his wealthy inheritance.

Jonghyun was used to being alone, used to being taken advantage of and overlooked since he had been abandoned before, but Jinki was the kind that welcomed everyone with outstretched, loving arms. This isn't the kind of thing that should happen to someone like Jinki. Relatives asked him to move in with them, most of them being cold hearted and refusing to let Jonghyun live with them simply because he's an outsider, Jinki dear.

Jinki refuses to live with any of them, and with a key to the safety deposit box Jinki's mother bestowed upon him, the pair went out to live in the streets of Seoul. They travel from house to house, making money however they could and occasionally stealing food when they didn't have a way of getting the food they needed.

When Jinki was sixteen, he went into the bank, got some money, and rented a small room in a big, abandoned building for him and Jonghyun to live in. No one used it anymore because back in the day, a gang had used the basement as their headquarters.

From there, things got interesting. Because Jinki was inexplainably rich, it brought bad attention to the pair of them, and in order to survive, they started stealing weapons and started picking up followers named Key, Minho and Taemin. Jinki took care of them all because they were all poor and had no family to turn to.

Minho was the first to join them. Like Jinki, he was the son of a wealthy family. He had run away because his parents were abusing him. Jonghyun had tried getting him to go back, but when Minho tensed at the mention of his parents, Jinki smiled fondly and just said Minho could stay with them for as long as he'd like.

Taemin was second. Unlike the others, Taemin was born on the streets, taught by his mother to steal and to beg and to do anything that he could so the two of them could survive. His mother died when he was nine, and by the time he was fifteen and found by Jinki, he was very unhealthy and drawn heavily into himself.

Key had been sent to Seoul because his parents didn't like his homouality. They said that if he couldn't learn to be like everyone else, they'd much rather he be whatever he wanted far, far away from them. Of course they were also once of the mafia scene and had someone sent after Key, but that was when Jinki had found and swore to protect him.

The five of them built up the Shawol empire. It took years and tears and pools of blood wherever they went, but they did it together, under Jinki's kind leadership. They became one of the most feared names in the underground, and that's where President Jung came in.

He did a lot of business in the underground, and when learning that the leader of the Shawol empire was rich, had sent Jessica Jung as an offering. Jinki had no interest in her because while he was too busy leading a gang, he also had someone in his heart.

But Jonghyun wanted to mess around, despite everyone's warnings. Jessica didn't mind, so long as it meant messing with a controling dad and putting him in his place, and well, you know the rest.

When Onew opens his eyes for the first time in four days, Jonghyun's sitting on the ground with his face pressed against the mattress. He's not exactly asleep, but he's also not exactly awake. He's tried to stay awake, and there's plenty of discarded cups of coffee around him to prove it, but with Onew's eyes remaining shut, it's hard to keep his own eyes closed for a moment.

"Jinki, can you hear me?" Jonghyun asks softly, reaching out to gently the elder's cheek.

Onew doesn't bother to move, only stares up at Jonghyun for a moment as if to remind himself of what happened. When he remembers, tears form in his eyes and Jonghyun chuckles when Onew leans over the side of the bed and pulls him into a tight embrace. He's sobbing and Jonghyun can only press kisses into his hair in an attempt to stop the tears that should not have fallen in the first place.

"You're alive!" Onew breathes out and Jonghyun squeezes him because yes, they're both alive and why would he complain if Onew's in his arms like he's always dreamed.

"I found out why he shot her." Jonghyun says in a whisper, and Onew stills in his arms as the younger pulls back,

"It was a mistake. Apparently the hitmen were supposed to kill you and the girls but they saw three and shot thinking it was you."

"They sound stupid." Onew mutters, and then they're both smiling a little bit.

"Jong?"

And Jonghyun looks up into the eyes that are once again flooded with light.

"I was thinking. Will you go with me to visit their graves?"

"Onew, I-" Jonghyun's nervous, and rightly so. It's his fault three beautiful women are dead, after all. He doesn't think he has the right to see them after being the reason that the world can't see their smiles anymore.

"Jinki. When I lost those girls, I thought that by becoming Onew, becoming more like the boss I was supposed to be, I could stop anyone from hurting you. But I was wrong, because I hurt you the most."

And Jonghyun guiltily runs his fingers through the elder's hair, because does he hear himself? He sounds absolutely crazy. Why is he blaming himself when he did nothing wrong?

"Whether you're Jinki or Onew, you're still the man I grew up with. The one that took me in and became my family. The man I fell in love with."

The elder takes in a sharp breath and before Jonghyun realizes what's happening, Jinki's hands are on his face and Jinki's lips are moving against his with a desperate pace that Jonghyun is quick to reciprocate. Living through decades while holding back the feelings he had wasn't going to work anymore. Not now with Jinki in his arms.

"Will you?" Jinki asks when he pulls away, his fingers laced with Jonghyun's and his eyes searching Jonghyun's eyes for some sort of answer.

"For you, Jinki, I'll do anything."