People said ‘breakups’ was the last thing someone could ever wished for. But, well not all people thought the same. To this person, he was satisfied and not even least regretted his decision to break the bond he had with. He hoped, the person who broke his heart would suffer just like how he made him went through hell during their days. Knowing the relationship not going to last, he knew it was bounding to say that “thanks for nothing and please leave” and watched someone that used to be his man of his life walked out of his life without looking back. Sometimes, he thought of how cowardly he was for staying even though he realized and he could see with his own eyes the state of their relationship at the moment. He felt like an idiot for not ready to let go, he loved him with all his heart but everything that happened made him realized how stupid of him to think that the love was still there. He did not know what else he could do, what else he could say, what else he could think of to save the relationship because everything was already so clear. He had had no other but the person he thought loved him truthfully, the person who once said that he was the only man he could ever wished for in his life was messing behind his back with other lover. The feelings he had to go through when he saw how he hugged his other lover closed, the way he used to caress him before but then he was caressing other person tenderly with those large hands. If a breaking heart had it sounds, imagined how loud his heart might sounded when it fell down on the floor, shattering like a broken glass. But, he knew the sun still shining at day, the stars still twinkling at night when he was not around. He knew he could live without seeing him because he no longer treasured the love he had for him. He loved him once but he would not dare to love him twice. He’d rather him left and never came back.

Yet, it was easy being said than done. Memories no matter how hard he tried to shove them away, they were always came running back. Even if the back of his mind was all out cursing him for giving nothing back to him except the bad memories but at night, when the lights out he still, like a fool was smiling in the dark recalling the puzzles of the memories as if they never haunted him the day before. And he got nothing, no magic words that could end the painful memories because he got nothing he could think of to feel better. He would beg, on his knees clutching to the bedsheets for dear life, mumbling words, ‘please, please, please stop making me feel like this’ when he felt like dying with too much emotions. But then he never cried, the last dignity he had left for was his tears. He swore to god he would never let his tears out and got it wasted for someone who just betrayed his trust. Love? Pointless. In real life, no one would love someone till the end of time. If there was one, then it was not mutuals. Someone could love the other one more but of course the love invested was not measured by the amount. But the togetherness that kept the relationship going, not loved. Because we were used for someone we claimed to love and be loved, always being there for us. In real life, there would be less relationships and more breakups. At least that was what he had made him to believe. For him, he had risked everything; family, career and life. But what he got in returns were just more and more heart breaks. There was time when the thunderstorms splitting half through the dark sky letting out its rage at a moody day, wrapping his body with a thick blanket and curling like a baby in a mother’s womb on the bed. He tried, to distract himself from thinking of the bad memories. But it came gushing back and scenes started to replay in his mind like a movie.

It was Friday, the day he had supposed to share with him cuddling in the couch to watch movies instead he was reeling on the hateful thoughts that could not seems to disappear. Great memories but then it was great till it lasted. The movie he was having every Friday night no longer romantic, sappy love story but closed to heart wrenching, saddest love story ever existed. He remembered clearly the day he had his heart broken. His class finished early than it supposed to be so he decided to go to the place they had promised to meet, well he would not mind to order a cup of coffee and waited for him for the time being. Skipping his way out of the lecture hall, smiles never left his cute face as he thought of how memorable the date could be after a week of not seeing each other because of their busy university schedule. But he was there, sitting a table away from the scene, eyes glued on someone he called “my boyfriend” in a proud face all these time. His boyfriend had his arm wrapped around the shoulders of a stranger, who had a heart shaped lips that looked hundred more beautiful than he ever could be. They were chatting so happily, sometimes the smaller laughed to the joke the taller made. It was a fitting image, a warm feeling for both of them. And he never thought of his boyfriend with a new lover, flirting in front of him without realizing he was there because they were so into their world that they could care any less of their surrounding. It felt like his heart was crying instead of his eyes, there were no tears shed at all. Shocked? Might be, but he knew this day would come eventually. He should has seen the cracks of their relationship, but he was too positive that it was nothing. Lovers fought all the time even over petty things; lovers sometimes had bad days when they were not in speaking terms for almost a week and after that they went back to normal; but did not mean that they had stop loving each other. Those thoughts he had in his mind before to dodge the wavering feelings in his heart. Lying if he said that he did not notice, because he noticed, he felt it and he knew that someday it would come. The day where someone else crept into their life and cut him out like a knife. They looked so perfect together that he felt like his self esteem fell on the floor and his insecurities were booming so high. He did not know how to react to the situation so he just stayed there, watching them unresponsively. Until his boyfriend looked up for the first time in a while since he had his eyes on his cute, little lover and their gazes met. And the taller was so flustered that he had to stand up at the same time, pushing the chair harshly and claimed his hands back from his new lover. Had he being so evil, he would explode at both of them but he had not because he would rather deal with it alone. So instead of facing them, he ran out of the cafe to the rains outside that just started pouring down as if it knew how his life was shattering into nothingness.

It was closed to midnight when he heard steps came from behind him. He was leaning against the frame of the veranda’s sliding door watching the dark, pitch black sky. For certain reasons, there was no presence of stars at all and all he could see just the full moon hiding behind the clouds. The foot steps stopped for a second, as if hesitating to come closer to him. So he broke the silence, because bloody hell he did know why he felt so ing hurts just because of the hesitation or actually, all his feeling had being bottled up until he could not stand it anymore. “I guess it is over between us,” his voices cracked, sounding so wrecked eventhough he wanted to look strong. “No! Baekhyun, please let me explain!”, he came rushing over ,tumbling on his feet trying to reach for him. “Am i supposed to listen to you when i already saw everything with my own eyes?”, he turned around, eyes fiercely staring at the taller. The taller stopped at his spot abruptly, not daring to move even more closer than he already was. “Let me fix this, Baekhyun.” , deep voices that used to melt him before sounded so desperate. He laughed huskily, voices tauted from the nonstop screaming he lets out just now, going crazy with the words the taller said. He was tired of being ridiculed, enough with once. He did not bear to go for twice. His heart was bleeding he wanted to feel love but instead all he felt was hatred. He felt the betrayal more than anything. “No, Chanyeol. You can’t fix this like how you fix things. This, you and me. We were over the moment i saw you with him!”, he punched the glass sliding door causing it to crack, and his fist to bleed. His weak body had it became this stronger or his feelings had just overpowered his mind and body, causing him to be this violent to himself. “Baek, listen to me.” , the taller’s face was wearing the saddest expression he had ever seen. “I know this hurts you so much but i love him, baby i need him. But that does not mean i don’t love you as much.” ,his giant body slumped down beside the armrest of the couch, looking like a husband who had a dying wife. Because yes he was going to lose one, his precious boyfriend who had gone through everything with him, ups and down the only person who had always being there for him. But for Baekhyun, he had heard the most nonsensical words ever. How someone could love more than one person? It would never worked because in real life, love could never be shared. Two persons could not share a person, it was unfair. He’d rather being casted away from sharing his love with someone else. “What did you said? How could you be so selfish?! I have had enough Chanyeol. Stop lying to my face, stop making me feel like s, stop fooling me and stop saying that you love me when you just betrayed my trust on you. I’m breaking up with you and i want you to leave this house. Don’t let me see your face around. Just off from my life.” ,he inhaled and exhaled, trying to catch his breath for yelling. The taller was flustered, “B-but, Baekhyun i still love--”, he did not let the taller finished when he cuts in. “Thanks for nothing and please leave.” he had said, final. And he did not give a as the taller dragged his body to leave the house. He did not give a of what the taller felt because the one who had being betrayed was him. He was supposed to be the one who cried his eyes out not Chanyeol. Not him, but he still not deaf so his ears caught the sobbing outside his apartment at 4 am the first week of their breakups, every day. But he could care any less.

҉

It had been two years ever since, but yeah those were the times when he remembered the most. He was trying so hard to move on. Even if he needless to say that he was traumatized to be in a relationship. He swore to himself that he would never loved and be loved anymore. But because his heart felt empty, it had no life. So sometimes he stayed in bed all day and reminisced the day they were still together. When everything was still beautiful, the days he felt everything was out of love when it was not. He did not believe in love. Marriage? Soulmate? Forever? These were only tricks in your life so you would feel the blessing. But when it started to wreck you and your life, you would curse them. Human was not satisfied with only a person. There this one word called greed and it had in every human whether we realized or not. People were just the same, you expected loyalty from them but all you got were always s when you had just gave them everything of your life. People believed what they wanted to believe and Baekhyun, he trusted who he wanted to trust. But, fate was toying with him no scratch that because hell, Chanyeol the one that was toying with him. He was done with the things that just got broken between both of them. Perfect as it seemed but imperfect as it ended.

FIN.