Junhwe knows that he’s tall, knows that he’s pretty well-built for boys his age, which is not a fact that he’s ashamed to acknowledge. He takes pride in it actually, loves the fact that after the holiday for his sixteenth birthday; Junhwe has hit his growth’s spurt to the point where he can almost tower everyone in the room.

He does have trouble getting used to his newly found long legs, it is not scarce for him to trip on his own feet, and even the slightest slop on the street feels like an enormous bump. But at the same time, it gives him a little drop of confidence that he’s always longed for. Knowing the fact that his height corporates well with his strength makes Junhwe feels another different level of exhilaration.

Knowing that no matter how scary or uptight Hanbin is, or how much Bobby’s attempts to work out, Junhwe is still able to physically intimidate them makes everything so much thrilling than it should be. Sometimes Junhwe feels guilty or even stupid for taking such pleasure for something so incomprehensible, but the feeling is still there nonetheless.

He never endure the satisfaction of other people being shorter though, it’s not like he judges others based on their height, because that’s just plain stupid. Hanbin and Bobby are not short by any means, so it is not the fact they’re less tall than him that makes Junhwe thinks he can overpower these two hyungs, it’s the fact that with his height; his strength becomes more prominent and it causes Junhwe to feel slightly superior to them.

Maybe if others were to hear what he’s thinking, they would deem him as the one who brings weird to another higher level of bizarreness, but they don’t understand, they won’t understand that beneath all the facades he’s put, Junhwe has this huge desire to be better than Hanbin and Bobby.

He’s told himself plenty of time this is purely for the fact that he genuinely thinks his talents shouldn’t be looked over by just one eye, that he wants to prove the world he deserves to be known as one of the most talented members in the band like Bobby and Hanbin had. Yet the irritating voice in his head always laughs at him every time Junhwe tries to convince himself that; telling him that he is not a vain person who has too much confidence, but a mere insecure boy whose confidence keeps lacking and lacking each time Jinhwan touches or laughs at Bobby and Hanbin’s jokes.

If one year ago, fifteen year old Junhwe was told that you can’t choose the person you’re attracted to he would’ve went ballistic at the idiot who was stupid enough to commit such act. He would’ve burst out laughing like a mad person who just got out of an asylum, would’ve brush them off with a laugh and a shake of his head while saying that they’ve watched too much dramas.

But now, this sixteen year old Goo Junhwe will nod eagerly in understatement and sympathy because dear god never in his wildest dream Junhwe would’ve thought that he would go this crazy over Kim Jinhwan. 

Junhwe doesn’t know how or when is the precise time when he starts to secretly wishing that he could be in Hanbin or Bobby’s shoes, he doesn’t even realize that this huge crush he owns has been blooming like a flowery tumor inside his heart until that moment when Chanwoo- giggling like a schoolgirl- was sprinting around the room yelling out Bobby had Jinhwan trapped inside the bathroom and that they were showering together. Junhwe was practically burning in uncontrollable jealously he clenched the glass he’s been holding in his grip so hard it had broken.

Up until now, Bobby still can’t find out who had managed to turn all his underwear pink that day.

Maybe it’s because Jinhwan is so kind or maybe because Junhwe never encounters anyone who’s still in their teenage age with couple years ahead of him being this nice but Junhwe’s heart just decides to act against his will and dignity and choose Jinhwan-hyung of all people in this world.

He could’ve fallen in love with Sandara-noona honestly, and that would be a hundred times better than this. At least they’re not required to always interact with each other 24/7, they’re not staying in the same dorm for months and months; that would’ve seem like a walk in the park rather than this prowl into the peak of a hot burning and bubbling volcano. The age difference would be damned, really.

But no, that’s not what happen, because in the midst of concerned words and happy giggles, Jinhwan has to be so ing perfect Junhwe’s heart must latches itself into him and refuse to ever let go even if the bloody Kim Jong Un were in the border of DMZ and threatening to give South Korea nuclear shower party just to show Junhwe’s heart some sense, that no, it is ing wrong to fall in love with your hyung, no matter how cute and attractive he is.

Junhwe’s gayness makes it all harder, to be honest.

It all comes to a point where every time he’s about to go to bed, Junhwe would go on his knees and pray that he could be kissed by Jinhwan-hyung so that he could die happily and peaceful-

“What?”  Chanwoo’s annoying surprised voice pulls him back from his dreamland.

“What?” Junhwe glares at him. “What do you want?”

Chanwoo holds his gaze at him longer than what can be considered normal before asks, “Did you just say that you want Jinhwan-hyung to die happily and peacefully?”

Dear god, Junhwe wants to jump from the Seoul Tower right now and kill this kid after. “You’re deaf, don’t be ridiculous” He gets up, padding away from the maknae to the door.

“You’re being stupid” Chanwoo laughs and stops in front of Junhwe, blocking him from getting out.

“I’m your hyung” Junhwe defenses himself pathetically, eyes still glaring at Chanwoo, he feels this sudden urge to slap Chanwoo’s head but with deep embarrassment and disappointment; Junhwe realizes if there’s anyone who can beat him in a fight is this devil spawn.

“By less than a year” Chanwoo retorts, “But seriously, why did you wish that for Jinhwan-hyung?”

“Why did I wish what?” Junhwe challenges, his eyebrow raised and giving the iest look he can pull off.

Chanwoo rolls his eyes, hands are now clutching onto the sides of the door firmly as if he can read Junhwe’s consideration to sneak past him. “This dumb look doesn’t look good for you, hyung. And besides, I can hear perfectly well you muttering; which I quote ‘Jinhwan-hyung so that he could die happily’. Why do you even want him to die happily?”

Junhwe rolls eyes again, chuckling nervously while he flicks his hand at Chanwoo, dismissing him. “It’s because I love him, duh, you know like normal dongsaengs would. As our hyung, he deserves a happy death like what you would’ve wished for Hanbin-hyung because you lo-“

“I don’t love Hanbin-hyung” Chanwoo denies easily, “But I don’t want him to die yet, be it a happy death or not.” He’s frowning right now, looking at Junhwe suspiciously, “Wait” Chanwoo stops himself, looking like he’s just realized something. “You love Jinhwan-hyung? But you want him dead? Are you okay? Did you just drink Bobby-hyung’s alc-“

“Of course I don’t love him!” Junhwe says quickly, his voice getting a bit higher to his liking. “I was talking about, you know.., a hypothetical condition in whi-“

“Hypothetical?” Chanwoo asks amusedly, “Why would it even be hypo-“

“Well because I want him to be happy when he die-“

“So you’re planning to kill him?” Chanwoo preys deeper, mocking fake horror on his soon-to-be-squared-face-by-Goo-Junhwe.

“No!” The older of the two exclaims nervously, “I’m just saying that as a good junior we all should care for our seniors and pray that if the unfortunate happened, they would part this world is happiness and peace surrounding them.”

“So you still want him dead?”

“No” Junhwe hisses, “I don’t want Jinhwan-hyung to die, stop twisting my words around”

Chanwoo shrugs apathetically, face flat without any expression but Junhwe can see the intense judgment in his eyes. “I’m not twisting your words around, I am simply asking-“

“Why does Junhwe want me to die?” Jinhwan’s dulcet voice makes both him and Chanwoo jumps as if they just heard a bomb being dropped.

“N-Nothing” Junhwe says quickly, taking the golden opportunity to get out of the room when Chanwoo loosens his grip from the door. “Chanwoo’s stupid, nothing new right there, isn’t it, Hyung?” He smiles frantically at the older boy in front him, taking Jinhwan’s thin wrist by his left hand before fleeing them both away from devil spawn number 2.

“Are you taking me to the rooftop so that you can finish your mission, Junhwe-ah?” Jinhwan teases him, eyes crinkled as smile forms on his (beautiful) face.

“No” Junwhe growls, still deep in his thoughts planning hundred different ways to kill Chanwoo in his sleep. He can hear Jinhwan chuckles in response, great, now he thinks Junhwe is stupid.

“Where are you taking me then?” Jinhwan asks, more curious this time. His voice is a bit puffed as if he’s been running- wait, he is, Junhwe stops his pace. Jinhwan is shorter than average, in fact, he’s shorter than average-short. And taking the fact that he’s walking with someone whose height is above standard must makes it hard for him to balance Junwhe’s steps.

The younger of the two turns his body around to look at his hyung, suddenly the room is singing Hawaiian music quietly to him. As Junhwe stares at Jinhwan whose hair is now disheveled, and eyes wide gazing up at him in confusion; Junhwe feels peculiar pride filling his chest.

He grins stupidly at Jinhwan, his unfathomable umbrage towards Chanwoo is now forgotten, thanks to his crush (love) being cute and short. “Do you want to get an ice cream, Hyung?”

“Huh?”

Junhwe nods earnestly, still grinning like a fool and looking like a lost puppy. Junhwe knows if someone was seeing him right now they would jump in fright because this look doesn’t suit his face well. But Junhwe doesn’t care, he’s so happy with his height and Jinhwan is too nice to judge him based on his appearance so it’s all good. “Yeah, perfect for this kind of weather, don’t you think?”

“I guess” Jinhwan mutters, sounding suspicious but he doesn’t pull his hand away from Junhwe’s grip, so the younger tightens his hold.

“Great” Junhwe says happily, they continue their walk. The ice cream vendor is actually right underneath the YG building, so Junhwe is not too worried of getting caught holding hands with Jinhwan because everyone kinda knows each other in here, they would not take it as a surprise if the artists like to get a little bit too affectionate with each other, regardless of gender.

Turns out the usual old man who’s been serving the ice cream is now ill and is being replaced by his wife, Jinhwan hastily lets go of their intertwined hands at that;  Junhwe is not disappointed because he knows it is a rational thing to do. Ahjummas are more talkative and blunt that their counterparts, if this lady accidentally told her friends that two YG male artists are holding each other hands in a manner that’s totally not platonic (especially on Junhwe’s side); Mr. Yang would have both of their heads chopped off the scaffold (though Junhwe is willing to throw all away his dignity and beg on his knees for Mr.Yang to at least spare Jinhwan’s life).

Both of them get two scoops of pistachio and raisins flavored ice cream each. Usually when the old man is here, Jinhwan would spend at least five minutes to make polite small talk with him, but since none of the boys know the man’s wife very well, Junhwe just pays for their cups in an awkward silence.

“You two are cute together, you know” The lady suddenly tells them when he’s bowing to thank her.

From the corner of Junhwe’s eyes, he can see Jinhwan blushing, indescribable joy pulls his mouth into a smile instead of a frown. He’s about to deny her statement happily (something that does not occur often) when his world crumbles back down.

“Your hyung is very thoughtful and sweet, isn’t he?” The lady asks Jinhwan fondly, she’s pointing at Junhwe. “It’s not often for me to see older brothers acting so caring towards their younger siblings”

What, Junwhe gapes. Just what?

Jinhwan’s blush gets a bit deeper before his head is thrown back; laughing. If it’s not for the fact that Jinhwan is too cute for his own good, Junwhe would hate him.

“He’s not my brother” Jinhwan says in between giggles, “Nor is he older than me”

Now it’s the lady turns to gape in disbelief, she keeps looking back and forth from Jinhwan to him yet Junhwe feels too annoyed and betrayed to smile at her and to dismiss her (wild) assumption. “I