The next day Changkyun opens the shop. He keeps quiet and to himself, his hands hovering over the pocketing in his bag that holds the study abroad flyers in place. Hyungwon is in his office, a light mist of water holds up between the plants coating them like perfume, telling Changkyun that the older was here. Changkyun smiles as he makes his way to the counter, putting away his bags and unwrapping his apron. He ties it around himself, his fingers deft and nimble, as they used to the action happening many times.

While he adjusts the apron to his level of comfort, he eyes the marbles which catch his attention. He notes that Hyungwon has changed them again. Even the ribbons have been rearranged, and a frown graces Changkyun’s lips. The argument yesterday must have bothered Hyungwon a lot, as he only changed things whenever he was upset. The arrangement, the colors, and types of marbles and ribbons were all new and unfamiliar. Hyungwon would call it a change of pace, but Changkyun knew better than that. He knew that the shop was a reflection of Hyungwon, and so whenever Hyungwon was unsatisfied with himself, he would take it out on the materials here. What happened was the question however.

Changkyun turned and faced the wall of decorative materials. Hyungwon was always a mystery to him, yet he always felt as if Hyungwon and him understood each other. They’ve had this type of relationship for three years, every day they’d spend hours together, and they’re had more than their fair share of fights, so it would only be assumed that they understood each other from this. It felt different though, as if Hyungwon knew how to push him and he knew how to help. Which is why Changkyun could never comprehend how he could help hyungwon. Hyungwon could smell distress off of him if Changkyun wasn't careful and he would somehow find a way to force the other to tell him how and what he felt. Changkyun didn’t have that power though, or he didn’t see how he had that power. All he knew was that over time he was able to understand the habits of Hyungwon, whereas Hyungwon was able to read his habits before he was even sure they were noticeable.

When the time came to help Hyungwon, Changkyun just didn’t know how to approach him. It was if he was lost, and all Changkyun did was follow his instincts based on Hyungwon’s behavior. Somehow what his gut told him to do was the right thing, and while he was thankful for it he couldn’t help but wonder why in the first place. Changkyun sighed; it just didn’t make sense.

“Why the long face?”

“Hyungwon!” Changkyun exclaimed and then scowled, “I know you always do this but still, can’t you say hello from a distance rather than pop up right next to my ear?”

“Can’t help it, you always space out.” Hyungwon pouted.

“I know you have more self control in you.”

Hyungwon tilted his head and looked up at the younger, “Yeah but-”

“But what?” Changkyun cut him a look.

It’s hard to control myself when you’re around, is what he wanted to say, but after his talk with Minhyuk he was sure that saying such a thing was not how you avoid falling in love with your subordinate so Hyungwon played it safe and answered bluntly, “It’s fun.”

Changkyun avoided the twinkle in the other’s eyes. He frowned again.

“You’re frowning again.”

“What do you mean,” Changkyun stepped back, taken by surprise. He had slipped right after he promised that he wouldn’t.

“Don’t look that offended. It’s just that you haven’t been smiling as much. I’ve noticed it for a while.”

Changkyun tried to stay composed, he didn’t want to tell the truth, or else Hyungwon would take it badly, and after the other day he wasn’t sure if Hyungwon was ready for another drop.

“It’s nothing,” he slowly spoke, “Just a little school stress is all.”

Hyungwon eyed him over, his face unimpressed. He didn’t buy the lie Changkyun thought.

“Are you sure it’s just school stress? This isn’t anything larger than that is it?”

“No it’s all good I’m okay.”

“Changkyun. Don’t lie to me. If it was just school stuff you would have told me about it. You know that we can work it out.”

“Not this,” Changkyun muttered.

“What?” Hyungwon turned his head, “What do you mean?”

“It’s nothing Hyungwon, I’ve got it.”

“No you don’t. It’s been eating at you I can see that. Just tell me what it is Changkyun I can help.”

Changkyun hesitated, telling Hyungwon would make the weight lighter, but it would also hurt the other deeply. The fact that he was seriously considering leaving Hyungwon’s side would hurt him. Changkyun knew that Hyungwon really only had the shop, the flowers, and him. If Hyungwon lost such a thing, would he be the same?

Hyungwon raised his voice and threw his fist down, “ I can see it, you’re struggling. Just tell me what it is? Do you need more money? Are you over stressed? Did something happen to a friend? Do you need to leave for a week? We can talk about it.”

“We can’t-I don’t want to-Hyungwon it’s not what you think. You can’t understand,” Changkyun dragged on his words, the pain in them stung. He was practically begging Hyungwon to stop. This wasn’t good for both of them.

Hyungwon softened his voice when he saw the look on Changkyun’s face. Changkyun was so distressed, so pathetic, that it made Hyungwon stop in his tracks. He grabbed onto Changkyun’s hands, making the younger’s eyes widen at the sudden contact. Screw Minhyuk’s warnings, he thought, I can’t leave him like this. He began to whisper, “I want to know what it is then! We don’t have to talk about it but can’t you just tell me what’s wrong. Just tell me, we don’t need to talk about it. Not now.”

“No...Hyungwon you won’t understand it’s not…” Changkyun’s voice broke and he wanted to cry in desperation. The secret needed to come out, but not like this. Not with Hyungwon this close and this angry and just as desperate as him. Changkyun tried to wrestle his arms free, but Hyungwon’s grip only grew tighter.

“I can try. Please, Changkyun, let me help,” Hyungwon pleaded, the rawness in his voice overbearing and Changkyun could hardly stand it. He couldn’t leave things like this, but how much more would he break the other if he came clean.

Changyun nodded his head slightly, he felt Hyungwon lace their fingers together, but he couldn’t move any further. He didn’t wrap his fingers around Hyungwon’s instead they stayed by his side, limp and straight. If he dared to move any further it would be too late; he can’t cry in front of Hyungwon, he can’t lay his head on the other’s shoulders, he can’t hold him and he can’t hold his hand. If changkyun did then it would break the both of them. I want to go to Boston would break their relationship even though it never really progressed anywhere. It was too risky to say I love you, to even acknowledge it.

So Changkyun stood there unresponsive with Hyungwon in front of him. He was hoping that the older would move away, but he didn’t. They stood for a minute, two minutes, and the room was smaller than ever, the feelings more so ardent than ever, yet they were ignored. After what seemed like hours Hyungwon let go, Changkyun kept his eyes glued to the floor as he watched Hyungwon’s feet step back. They stood apart for another moment, their shallow breaths were all that were heard until Hyungwon spoke up quietly, “Fine then. You can tell me later.”

...

Hyungwon sat in his office chair, fiddling with his thumbs. Regret caked onto his face. It had been a few hours since his earlier confrontation with Changkyun and he really was upset with himself.

“Ahhh!” He exclaimed, his voice quiet, he turned his head and rubbed his neck vehemently, “Why did I do that!”

He replied the scene over and over again in his head and he swore that what he was doing was in fact mental torture. He held Changkyun’s hands and he almost kissed the younger when he was in a state near tears. He curse under his breathe, “There goes the entire do not feed on it plan.”

Hyungwon walked around his office, usually he could keep his body still and to himself, but today the problem was bigger than he initially thought. He looked around. Anywhere to keep his mind off of Changkyun and Minhyuk and love and how much he felt like he had messed up. Work, he thought, I need to work. He felt like grimacing, but held it in.

The petunias needed watering. The christmas cactus in the corner of the office needed to be pruned, as did the magnolia bush. Hyungwon’s eyes darted across the room, searching for any excuse of work just to temporarily distract himself from the situation at hand.

After a good few minutes he had decided to begin repotting the vegetable sprouts, as they were starting to outgrow their old containers. Hyungwon was in the middle of his work when he felt someone enter his office. This walk was different from Changkyun’s so Hyungwon knew it was a customer. He began to stand up when the man spoke.

“Hello, Is this a bad time? Should I come back later?”

Hyungwon began to take off his gloves, in a distressed voice he squealed, “No you’re fine. Go sit down I’ll be there in a moment.”

The man smiled, his dimples displaying a proud glory on his face, “Good.”

Hyungwon cud hear a chair scraping against the floor as he finished resulting the  last sprout. He got slowly and walked over to where the stranger was sitting. He collapsed into his chair resisted the urge to fall forward and sleep while the man was there. Hyungwon began to shuffle around some papers when the man coughed dryly to capture his attention.

“I’m Jooeheon,” he said in a rough sounding voice, “I heard that you can help me?”

“Hello Jooheon. I’m Hyungwon. What would you need help with?” Hyungwon plastered on a smile, but thankfully Jooheon noticed it.

Jooheon did not waver, in fact the smile seemed to give him more energy than before, “Ah yeah, I have something to talk about.”

“What would it be?”

“Okay Hyungwon, you have magical powers right? I’ve heard from a few friends that you do have something going on that can help me. I’m not a fool alright?”

Hyungwon stared at Jooheon blankly, waiting for him to finish. Giving him silent confrontation.

“I know this sounds weird but I’m fighting someone. It’s my best friend. We’re not fighting each other so it’s more like we’re fighting with each other. I signed up for this contest and he did as well, and all our lives we’ve been equal but now…” Jooheon slowed down a bit towards the end.

“Go on.” Hyungwon nudged.

“Now he’s being left behind. There are some people ganging up on him during this contest, and in order to praise me, they tear him apart. I know that it’s killing him but what can I do? He’s not the same anymore. He doesn’t treat me the same anymore. It’s really small but before when I’d get praised, he’d act diffeently than he does now. Tomorrow’s the last day too, and I think that he’ll be cut and it just worries me.”

"The last day before what?”

“Before the results come out. Who got the internship and then what.”

“Is it just him you’re worried for?”

“No there have been others. This one guy, I really liked him you know. He was the kind of guy I could settle with, and now he’s gone. They ruined him though and he left of his own accord but I don’t understand why.”

Hyungwon thought a minute before he replied, “Is it unfair?”

“What to me? Idon't know. To them? I guess it is.” Jooehon stared at the other in confusion, he couldn’t understand what Hyungwon wanted to know.

“Well you say that your success is or has changed them right?”

“No it’s not like that,” Jooheon slowed down, lowering his voice.

“Then what is it?”

“I didn’t like it, they way they’re treated, the way I’m treated, the way they handle us.”

“Then,” Hyungwon drew his breath, “why not just leave?”

“Huh?”

“Leave the company. You don’t like they way they handle stuff right?”

“But I…”

“You don’t want to because you have the chance to do what you want.”

“See the thing is that I dragged them into this. Maybe not with Minkyun but for Gunhee… Because I was selfish I said let’s do this together. I guess I was scared but I didn’t mean for this to hurt them. I didn’t want Minkyun to leave so that they could better attribute to me. I didn’t want the fossil to leave because he can’t show the same results I do in just two days. I didn’t want Gunhee to be ridiculed and humiliated so that way they can prove how good of a worker I am, to prove how much better I am. I didn’t want any of this I just wanted to be with them. I wanted to be with them.” Jooehon stared at the wall just beyond Hyungwon, his hands rubbing his face vigorously.

Hyungwon opened his mouth, “ Calm down.”

“I can’t it’s too much. If Gunhee doesn’t make it then whats the point? Why did I allow him to go through that when I know he can’t? Every time he joked around saying Maybe I should just eave, i’d slap him and yell at You’re better than them! and he’d just smile and take it. I should have realized sooner. Only after we heard today’s review did I realize that I forced him to do something so stupid. He’s no longer Gunhee but a tool to them and it makes me sick because I know that he’s a tool to help build…me and it’s disgusting.”

Hyungwon sat in his chair, numb. He’s gotten some wild confessions before, but Jooheon’s story has pinned him into a place of insecurity. Usually the flowers helped to give him a sort of answer that he could play off of, but today was not the case. There was only one flower that spoke to him and it was the flower that would probably break Jooheon the most.

“Are you even going to say anything? What should I do? Quit and drop the golden opportunity? The thing I’ve waited years for, the ultimate dream just because the people there are s? Should I go to Gunhee? Should I apologize to them? I don’t know anymore. All night long it’s been driving me crazy, I’m so glad that I had the day off but… I don’t know.”

Hyungwon his lips, his mouth dry. He had no ida what to say but he had to do something,” In all honesty I don’t know.”

“What?”

Hyungwon winced at the infliction of pain Jooheon’s voice left on him. He whispered, “Can you give me a moment?”

Then Hyungwon got up from his chair and walked around into the greenhouse, leaving Jooheon alone in his office, swimming in his thoughts. He ran into the sunflower bed and hastily cut a few of the flower’s cousins. It’s color ruby red with multiple layers of petals. Its face open and black and laced with yellow. A beautiful flower with big personality and appearance, yet it was also what Hyungwon thought was the most lonely flower.

Hyungwon gathered five stems of the flower in his arms and walked back to Jooheon. Their faces were crying softly in his and Hyungwon trembled. He never really dealt with problems like these before, with flowers like these before. Jooheon’s explosive emotions made it hard for him to pinpoint what he needed to do. The flowers reacting to Jooheon seemed to coil away and shrink, meaning that his emotions were just that strong. This was the first time in his life that Hyungwon felt like a sham. Like what he was doing is immoral and wrong. And he wasn’t sure what to do. It was as if someone had blindfolded him and made him spin in circles before telling him to walk straight. He just didn’t know how to get from one point to another and that made it all the harder to know what to do.

He made it to his office door, and the ivy around was slithering about it, displaying how Jooheon, and even Hyungwon, felt. Hyungwon wanted to run away, everything was too much. How Minhyuk felt, how Jooheon felt, how Changkyun felt. It was simply overstimulating. But he needed to confront him and at least acknowledge Jooheon’s problems.

The doorknob turned and Hyungwon walked in, clutching the flowers close to his chest. They wept at the sight of Jooheon; Hyungwon himself felt the urge to weep as well. Jooheon cradled his head in his hands, but upon their arrival he faced them. Confusion was apparent on his face and Hyungwon stopped right in front of him. He gingerly placed the flowers into Jooheon’s arms while the other looked at him.

Hyungwon his lips as he took two steps back, readying himself for Jooheon’s reaction. He spoke softly, almost as if he was talking to himself, and while looking Jooheon right in the eyes he spoke the truth, “These are Zinnias.”

Jooheon looked at him expectantly, “Okay.”

“They’re really pretty aren’t they?” Hyungwon said sheepishly, “They’re some of my most respected flowers. I don’t really like them though.”

“Why?” Jooheon questioned. He slightly nodded his head.

“Zinnias make me sad. All flowers have a meaning but Zinnias. It’s not like they don’t but…Zinnias mean thoughts of absent friends. It’s a lonely flower if you think about it. It’s like you’re always one when you have it.” Hyungwon began to ramble, he wrunge his hands together.

“Wait.”

“Jooheon I really don’t know what to say it’s just-“

“Does this mean I’ll be alone?”

“No it’s just-“

“That everyone is gone and that I’ll be left here to think about them? That I can only think bout them in the past.” Jooheon seemed angry now, he put the flowers down onto the table.

“No it’s that you keep on thinking about them and-“

“And what I can’t do anything to help them?”

Hyungwon wanted to sigh, but he did.’t want to show that side of himself to the customer, “No you can you just have to act now before they leave.”

Jooheon stared at him with a wild look on his face, “Yeah and what am I supposed to do?! What can I do now huh? What can I do!”

“I’m not sure I don’t have an answer for you I don’t know,” Hyungwon almost shouted. Instead was able to manage keeping his voice low.

“You’re supposed to! You’re the prince you’re able to solve everyone’s problems. Why not mine?” Jooheon looked at him and Hyungwon’s heart broke.

“I’m sorry I have no answers,” Hyungwon spoke lowly, his voice almost gone.

Jooheon sighed and rubbed his face with his hands again. He was cooling down, yet still Hyungwon could feel the anger radiating off of him, “Fine. Thanks for the talk I appreciate it.”

“I’m sorry,” Hyungwon bowed his head and looked to the floor. He heard Jooheon pace about before the other stormed out. Hyungwon kept his head down when he heard the door slam. He kept his head down when he heard the faint chime of the bell. He kept his head down for a long time, fighting the urge to do anything but break down. There was too much going on. Too much.

After a while he raised his head back up and circled around the room. Scratching at his head and tugging at his hair, trying to calm himself down. The zinnias sat at his desk, waiting and singing a silent song, the color them almost fading from sight.

It was late at night when Hyungwon walked out of the office. He left when he knew that Changkyun would be gone, when he would be alone. This way he could work in silence, and gone home in silence. Even though all he wanted was to have Changkyun there, with him as they sat in silence. His presence a comforting signal that he wasn’t alone.

Hyungwon watered the plants and mad his way around the shop. He faced the front counter and looked at hit. Changkyun left the light on for him. Hyungwon wanted to smile but he was too tired to do so. Instead he went around the counter. Slowly he took off his apron and folded it. He made sure everything in the back was stored away and locked up. Hyungwon made his way to leave when he saw the edge of a letter on the counter. Changkyun left him a note again, he almost didn’t want to reddit, knowing their previous encounter. Still he picked up the letter and walked over to the lamplight in order to better read the words.

Once he did the letter slipped onto the ground, and Hyungwon stood there, his head down towards the ground like earlier that day, his heart breaking, and his thoughts swimming. He had never been so overwhelmed in his life. Today just wasn’t a good day.

Note:

Hey Hyungwon. I just thought you should know. The reason why I was like that earlier today was because I was thinking about leaving. Not for two weeks but more like two years, or maybe for forever. I don’t know I just wanted to tell you earlier once you left the office but… I’ll see you later okay.

a/n:

I'm sorry for the long absence! I'm in the Phillippines right now(Ayeee) and it was hard to find time to wite and other things.That and preparations took me forever. That said I'm sorry for this chapter's quality, I still need to proofread it and such but I wanted to post it now so that way you guys to have something to read! I've been doing everything from memory so...

Also angsty Jooheon! Haha he has a big personality so I thought why not make his problems super big as well! Also everything and everyone is o.o.c but I don't care. This started out as a present and then it turned out to be a self indulgence. Hahahaha haa It's not my favorite thing but I'm trying.

And thank you for all the subscribers I really appreciate all the love and such so please comment below if you have anything to say or if anything is bothering you! Like I said i will clean this up later it' just that I have one computer and I'm on vacation so I'm trying my best! The next chapter will show up out of no where as well. Have a good day and thank you for reading, I love you!