Nobody sees him crying all night every time he finishes stalking Luhan's Instagram and Weibo account, and hence recalling all the good times with the latter- good times that are supposed to be forgotten for his own good.

Nobody knows what he truly feels about Luhan's goodbye or what comes on his mind every time  he catches Yixing talking with Luhan on Skype.

Nobody sees him watching Luhan's movies nor listening to Luhan's solo album.

Nobody knows how he still longs for Luhan's return, Luhan's voice, Luhan's smile, and Luhan's touch every single day.

Nobody sees him saving a human-sized space beside his own bed, and nobody knows how many times he dreamed of Luhan's company at night; with Luhan lying on his bed next to him, sleeping soundly like a newborn baby.

Nobody...

Nobody knows how much Sehun still loves Luhan.

They weren't lovers.

They weren't even star-crossed lovers.

They were close friends, yes, and thus they were told to make the fans go crazy over their ship by being sweeter towards each other. Sehun thought it was funny. Carressing Luhan's face was a normal gesture before, until their manager asked them to do it more often did it make the two idols feel awkward about their skinship. During those days,  his feelings for Luhan grew drastically.

They were also roommates.

Bandmates in the Kpop group called 'EXO'.

Luhan is like Sehun's older brother.

Sehun is like Luhan's younger brother.

But to Sehun, Luhan was - is something more.

To him, Luhan is an angel, a gift, a dream, and perhaps a King or a Princess, the reason why his heart flutters musically like a lovebug disease even despite the distance, and also, the reason of his heartbreak.

Sure, it's been two years, and he should've moved on, but how can he when he can't even stay away from his phone with the tempting wifi?

Sometimes he'd forget him, however, the feelings tend to return on its own. It's because love is like a chronic disease, and Sehun caught it.

Nobody knows that he wants to see Luhan everyday - every second, every minute - like they used to. Nobody knows that Sehun had those kind of days - days he hallucinates of Luhan's presence nearby - walking with the crowd in the city that he's passed by or cheering with the fans during an EXO concert, watching the other members rehearse or drinking bubble tea like they used to everywhere, cooking ramen with eggs at the dorm or waiting for him at the bathroom door so they could take a bath together - which is probably what Sehun missed the most. Sometimes he'd see Luhan's fantasy figure in his room, borrowing his clothes and shoes and then putting them on or vice versa.

Nobody knows how much he wants to spend Valentine's Day every year with Luhan. Nobody knows the confession letters he kept in case he meets Luhan on Valentine's Day.

Well, last year they didn't, but that doesn't mean that Sehun is just going to give up his Valentine's Day dream. Even if it take years before he sees him again, Sehun is willing to wait for the destiny that he still utterly believes in, just so he can finally confess what he's been keeping in his heart for years.

February 14, 2016

It's Valentine's Day. A day of romance and the day of EXO's concert in LA, United States. Sehun should be thinking about the concert but he's thinking about something --- someone else instead. It's Luhan again, breaking into his brain and Sehun welcomes him again without second thought. 

It's Valentine's Day and all the EXO members are watching a drama movie together in a hotel somewhere in Los Angeles. And Sehun remembers how Luhan used to sit beside him when they watched movies. But now, alas he realizes, that Luhan is no longer there. Kai sits beside him instead. Kyungsoo sits on the empty spot next to his other side. Kyungsoo is the one crying and Kai is the one teasing Sehun for being cold-hearted, for not crying over such a dramatic scene in the movie.

It's Valentine's Day and the letter is in his coat's pocket again, waiting to be reached and received by the recepient. It's Valentine's Day in 2016, and Sehun can feel it - that Luhan is just nearby, lingering somewhere out there.

It's Valentine's Day, and Sehun wants nothing but to see him again, so he goes out in the afternoon, wearing only a cap and sunglasses, then he wanders outside, slightly camouflaging with the American people passing by. 

It's Valentine's Day, and he knows that Luhan is coming on this very special day, because he dreamed of it last night. Sehun is like a child who believes in dreams just like how children believe in fairytales. Sehun is like a child who thinks everything is just children's play, thus he lies to himself that he's not still in love with Luhan, when apparently he still is. And no matter what he does, his feelings for the latter doesn't seem to decrease. He's roving outside because he's still in love, he's still yearning and he's still hopelessly believing for a second chance...

And guess what? All along, Luhan has been following him around. Luhan has been dying to call his name, to show his face, to envelope the latter with his arms that missed Sehun's warmth and the odd feeling of protection. Just like Sehun, Luhan likes to lie - not only to his friends, his manager or his fans, but to himself. He lies that Sehun means nothing more but a friend, because honestly, Sehun already took the special spot in his heart, and Sehun's name has already been carved in there, right before they debuted as a group which is during their trainee days.

And since it's been two years and a few months, Luhan thinks maybe it's the right time. The time to stop lying, time to take the risk and time to say something... other than another bittersweet goodbye.

Then just a like a dream, Sehun turns around, finds him and immediately recognizes him despite his disguise. Just like a dream, they hear each other's heart pounding against their chests, with a ghost of smiles hidden behind their lips.

It's Valentine's Day and they finally meet after two years of separation. Ignoring the eyes on them and the people bypassing them, they amble towards each other, their hands tuck inside their pockets. Sehun isn't sure if this is just another dream, or if it's for real. The only thing he knows is that he's not gon