"Hyung, I..." i started,

           feeling my hands get clammy when he looked up to me from his seat with all his innocent kitten like smile and kind eyes. I suddenly want to back out, prick my finger on a needle of some sort and sleep for a thousand years and only to be awaken by mr prince charming whatsoever's kiss, but i guess this'll be the only chance that i'll be able to build up my courage and confess to him, because i don't think i can handle another 2 years (yes i've been pining on him for two years) just to collect every courage that i can gather all throughout my nerves just to confess to him. So..

         it's now or never

        "Yes?" he smiled then encouraged me to continue

          looking at anything but him, i bit my lower lip and i felt like a boiling kettle that can only be relieved when i say what i wanted to say, so here goes nothing

          "Hyung, I... Please go out with me.." i stuttered out, but relieved that i've finally said it, 

          "Oh, ok"  i immediately snapped my head up (i swear i heard my bone crack) but that's not the point, he said ok?? Really?

           "Really hyung??" i blurted out, feeling the spring coming through my stomach despite the whirlwind of happiness that's smothering me right now

            "Of course !" he enthusiastically replied, eyes crinkling from smiling so much. Jisoos, please tell me this is not a dream, coz' this is just to good to be true...not until

            "Wait, just let me just arrange my things. Where did you say we’re going again?"

            yes, it was just too good to be true

            It was as if i suddenly got poured by a bucket full of ice. No, i think being poured by an ice bucket was better than this.

           and i did not even say where we're going somewhere...

----

          So that was my first attempt on confessing to my American born hyung. That day, i just wanted to get locked up in a tower and borrow Jeonghan hyung's hair to let down if ever the day comes that he suddenly realized that i confessed that day and he's either too dumb, too dense or both, to actually realized that.

          But don't misunderstand me okay? I still like him, all flaws and such. It's just that, for a person like me, who's always inside my shell, and growing up with a slight introvertism, even the slightest Hi and Hello from my classmates are hard enough for me.

          Mingyu, my bestfriend, says it was hilarious, and also say that if that was him, he would prolly say the same or even suggest to eat chinese food for lunch. He received a kick on the shin after saying that. But that's not the point, 'cause Jeonghan hyung, Joshua hyung's bestfriend, aka the guy who dumped me (unintentionally), says that he would understand it if that was him, he said with a few comforting on my back and a punch in the gut for Mingyu (for laughing like a madman)

          My point is, if he did not understand that, then it only means that he does not see me the same way i did. Right?

          But with a few soothing encouragement from Jeonghan hyung and sarcasms from mingyu, i finally gave in and tried my second attempt, just so i can slap it on migyu's face that i'm not that witless. And also because thing feeling, if i don't get it across him properly, it might swallow me whole and cause an aggravation through myself.

          That's why i've tried my second attempt when we were alone inside my room, using the "hyung can you please tutor me for my english subject" with a few stutter here and there as an excuse just so i can confess to him, believing that if i'm in my comfort zone, then i might feel less tense and anxious. 

          But i'm wrong, since the moment he entered my room, i felt like the rush of cinderella when she heard the clock's bell when it's already 12midnight. And i think i'm watching too much disney with Jeonghan hyung.

          As we were both focused on the lessons in front of us, I suddenly felt the urge that this is the right time to finally confess my feelings for him. 

           I held his hand, and let out a few on it using my thumb, just to release my ever growing tension. I let out a few more inhales and exhales before calling out to him

          "Hyung.." i called, and just like the first time, he answered

          "Yes?" his pillowy lips lifting at both ends, showcasing his encouraging smile. And that's where all i got my courage for the second time. I squeezed his hand affectionately and bit my lip, a habit a found myself doing whenever i'm nervous

          "Hyung, I like you.." I said as sincerely as i can, then again biting my lower lip for some kind of a support for myself.

          His smile grew wider and his eyes turned to those cute little crescents as he did so. Pinching myself a little in the arm just to make sure i'm still in the world of living and not in heaven, i reciprocated his smile and thought that finally, I properly said it to him.

           Covering his mouth with his fist, he lets out a gentle chuckle and squeezed my hand back.

          "You're funny wonwoo.."  he chortle, then cupped my hand with both of his palms..

          "Of course i like you too.."