Splendor

Genre: non-AU, Romance
Rating: PG
Pairing: YUNJAE
NOTE: an OTP5 fan’s POV

For someone who truly believed, the happiness of those you support with all your heart is the greatest marvel of all.

Soft footsteps echoed in the night. The door creaked open and a soft glow illuminated the narrow and damp passage way towards more darkness. A silhouette fumbled amongst the shadows as rustling noises sounded until a switch clicked and the place filled with a yellowish light. 

A pair of weathered eyes – my eyes looked up at the narrow stairs leading to the attic and a faint smile touched my lips. I haven’t been to this place in more than a quarter of a century. Lifting my weary legs, with my old bones screaming their protests, I ignored their ache and willed myself to tread the tapered steps heading towards my special place.

Each and every footfall, in every breath I took as I trudged upwards, my heart filled with emotions I haven’t felt in a long, long time. Anticipation. It was as if I was a young woman of twenty-five again, standing outside the studio, rain or shine, anxious to get a glimpse of the stars so bright they irradiated my entire youth.

Reaching the small, dusty room, I walked towards the solidary stool in the middle of boxes and boxes which contained my treasures. Looking at them, those chests full of memories brought tears into my eyes – happy ones and I smiled as I stepped in further into the room and opened one.

Seeing its contents, nostalgia kicked in and a low chuckle escaped my lips as I picked up an old handmade fan with my own pretty handwriting which I was very proud of when I was young and read it with eyes softening in fondness. “OTP5…”

The words brought a sweet taste in my mouth and I found myself sitting down. It had been decades since I last spoken these letters out loud. Back then, these were like a mantra I kept praying for, hoping for, and all those feelings I kept within my heart came rushing into the surface as I remembered the brightest constellation in the sky of my life. Cassiopeia  

Decades ago, I was a young high school girl. Everything was easy back then. I didn’t have to worry about anything aside from my studies. I had time to do almost everything I wanted. I had time for friends, time for hobbies, and time to gallivant around the country supporting my special boys – the ones who had captured my youthful heart the moment I heard them sing: Changmin, Junsu, Yoochun, Yunho and Jaejoong – the Gods of the East, they called themselves.

But for me, someone who belonged to the red ocean, they were just that: Gods.

I remembered myself going crazy, squealing, and screaming my lungs out whenever I saw them on TV. They were just too great for me to contain my excitement whenever they had a performance.

Albums? Singles? Merchandise? You name it and I had them all. I lined up patiently and bought everything as soon as they hit the stalls. That was how much I loved them – and I love them still. Nobody had ever replaced them in my heart. Nobody

The smile on my face dimmed as I remembered more events that happened years back. I opened more boxes and found what I had been looking for: boxes with labels, HOMIN and JYJ. I reached out and took out several old CDs and checked each one and a bittersweet taste filled my mouth as I recalled those dark years when my beloved Tohoshinki broke apart – torn by greed.

I remembered crying my heart out and my heart breaking each time albums, merchandise and singles came out from each group. Though in spite being dejected, I still bought them all, supporting my precious constellation with all my might, in every way I could – loving them unconditionally even when sometimes their actions and words hurt.

“Oh well,” I whispered as I returned the CDs carefully back to their boxes. Reaching out for another container, the smile I had earlier returned. It’s been ages since I last saw my favorite box. Taking it carefully and putting it on my lap, I opened my most cherished collection. YUNJAE.

Yunjae was the combination of Yunho’s and Jaejoong’s names, my favorite members. I knew for thousands – or even millions of other people it was weird for two male idols to be a couple, but for me, I didn’t mind it. In fact, I fell in love with them as soon as I saw them.

It wasn’t because of their cute fan service. It wasn’t because of their eldest-leader closeness. It was because, observing them, listening to them, I knew that behind those tender gazes, those simple touches, those secret smiles, there was true love.

Yes, I never once doubted it. YUNJAE was real. Korea might be a homophobe country, and same relationship was definitely frowned upon – but who said that in love, a boundary such as gender existed?

I didn’t mind – and I knew thousands of people like me didn’t either. We loved them, I thought, and I smiled remembering my other hobbies back then. Going through the contents, my smile turned into giggles as I glanced at the pictures where Yunho and Jaejoong were sweet with each other.

I remembered these photographs so well as I painstakingly compiled each and every one they had when they were still together as a group and the ‘evidences’ of Yunjae my fellow shippers and I found during their years apart. I remembered myself clearly as one of those vigilant Yunjae shippers, screaming silly in glee whenever ‘proofs’ that the pairing was real came out.

My old eyes shone with amusement as I recalled those days I would log in on a popular social network and spazzed about them every day with my friends from the fandom. It made me happy in spite all the issues and controversies surrounding their lawsuit then separation and it certainly made my student life more bearable.

For the young me, they were my world.

No, I didn’t use them to escape reality but I used them as inspiration – and no it wasn’t baseless either. I for one was blessed to know more than anyone.

Years after their separation, I graduated as a nurse and worked at a hospital. That was when I had witnessed something that I would never forget – something that I would always treasure for the rest of my days.

Twenty Years Ago

“What’s going on?” I asked as I rushed down the hallway.

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