Welcome back to my very exciting life! Yippee! Woohoo! 

If you didn't catch the sarcastic tone there then I don't get you. 

Well, how should I describe my fourth year? A year full of surprises? Sound too cliché. What about "the ed up year"? Sounds more like it. 

Without further ado, I will now present yet again another scene that stars the miserable me and the other cast.

Because let’s face it, you came here for me.

It was my fourth year and somehow I got tangled with an ever so famous love chase with the most popular guy in school. 

"Hey In Ha!" 

I ignored.

"In Ha!!" 

Total silence.

"Babe~" He slurred flirtatiously. 

I turned around to face this boy and glared at him as if it could pierce right through his body. He grinned at my response and stuck his tongue out playfully. 

"You responded back at babe." He snickered. I rolled my eyes out at his childishness. 

"Stop it. I don't want people to get the wrong idea." I hissed. 

"But I want them to think that we're dating." He replied, with a pout. that pout. 

"I don't want to know what's in your messed up mind but please don't put me into it." 

"Why? I don't want anyone to look at you the same way as I do." This flirtatious boy. 

What a beautiful way to start eh? Hi there! It seems that you have survived the previous chapters and is now finally at the last part. Woohoo! Get me a cake or something. Not chocolate please. Why? Just don't. 

Anyways, as you have read from above, there's this boy who has been chasing me around ever since fourth year started. Even though I think that I'm the most sarcastic in the whole world, can I just ask, what the hell do you see in me? 

I don't have a low self-esteem or something. 

Maybe I do. 

But, I know damn well that this body or face of mine does not look like the type that a guy should be chasing of. 
Curious who the guy is? What about I describe his physical appearance first? 

He's tall like hot damn. He has skin that will make members of Girl's Generation members envious of. His hair length was not too long, not too short either and it wasn't styled too fancy. His lips were full and plump, making Angelina Jolie look like she stole the look from him. 

Are you all following this? Can you sense that this guy is basically what you would call eye candy? Oh I should mention that he's in a gang, the popular guy in school, and his name? Kim Seokjin. 

"We," I motioned to the both of us, "are not a thing, okay? I have someone already." That is a lie but a girl got to do what she got to do. 

"What you have a boyfriend? How come I didn't know that? In Ha, whoever the guy is, he will never love you the way I do." He said, which made me cringe so hard I wanted to slam my head against the wall. 

"Oh would you look at the time. I better get going now! Bye! See you not any time soon!" I said in rush, pretending that I was actually in a rush. The pretty boy stared at me in confusion but was too late to say anything because I was already dashing away from him. 

How did I even get into this? Like seriously? The heavens are testing me. 

Though I did not have a particular destination to go to (or maybe I do), I somehow got into the stairs leading up to the school's rooftop. Out of boredom and also want to get away from people(and maybe do what I like to do best), I proceeded to make my upstairs. 

Once I made to the top of the staircase, I opened the door with force. It made me struggle a little bit because of my lack of physical strength. 

"Damn, doors were built to be opened too. Why the was it so damn hard to push?" I muttered bitterly. 

When I overcame the small conflict between the door and I, I am immediately greeted by the sweet summer breeze that brushed my skin softly. How nice the weather is today. 

It would be too bad if someone ruined it.

I walked up to the railings and rested my arms there. I observe the buildings that can be seen in this side of the rooftop. Though the school was nearby the city, it was in the part that you can still see some small houses placed at random places. 

I sighed.

After four years, is it finally the time that I used this method? Yes you heard it right folks! You can probably already picture what I was about to do. If you can't, then read more fanfictions. There are a lot out there. 

Okay, I shouldn't get off tracked. I am finally going to do it. It was a good thing that there are not a lot of students right now. I don't want that horrible screaming from a girl when I decide to jump. That's probably the last thing I want to hear. 

I carefully got myself over the other side of the railings. I was making sure that I don’t slip out and fall. I want to at least savour the last few moments of my life even though I dread it.

I took a deep breathe in. I prepared my heart and soul for this moment. This is my moment. Organs spread across the clean untainted ground. What a sight to see. I leaned my body forward, still gripping on the railings. I slowly loosen the grip of my hands. I knew I was going to taste freedom soon.

“Yah Baek In Ha! Are you trying to kill yourself again?” A high pitched voice interrupted my moment once again.

“Oh come on!” I said in exasperation. I slightly turn my head to see a furious Jimin walking towards me.

“What do you mean ‘come on’? You better not jump off those!” Our distance became a little smaller. I felt like there was two opposites In Ha’s arguing on opposites sides of my shoulder. It was like the scene you see in cartoons except these two were no angel or devil. I am debating whether or not to suffer the consequences of Jimin’s wrath as he warned me for oh so long or I could just jump and end my life right now.

Both are painful, but which?

“I gotcha!” Jimin said, triumphantly when he gripped on my wrists. It was either I was so slow at thinking or time moved way too fast.

“Park Jimin, can you like just let me for once?” I said, annoyed but he shook his head.

“Why should I? If I let you go then I won’t have anyone to stop.” He replied.

“There are plenty of other people who want to die out there. There are probably people here at this school too that you can help. Why don’t you soul searched there?” He suddenly wrapped his around my waist making me yelp in surprise. He then heaved me up to moved me back to the safer side of the railings again. He forcefully grabbed my shoulder to make me look at him.

“There are other people who want to die here in this school too?” He said, naively. I rolled my eyes.

“Well, duh. It’s not like I’m not the only student here.”

“Then it would be no fun if it’s not you.”

“and why is that?”

“Because…” He hesitated a little bit and scratched the back of his head. “You are the peanut butter to my jam?”

I had to register what he said for a few seconds there. Did he actually said that?

“You know what I’m not going to do these suicide attempts anymore.” I said, and he smiled so brightly that the sun was outshined.

“Really?” He said with sparkling eyes.

“Yeah because I’m going to kill you instead.” He held his hand over to his chest in surprise. He then burst out into laughter and took my words into a joke. He patted my head like a dog and smiled.

“Like you are going to kill me.”

“You don’t think I’m not capable of killing you? Who do you think you are Park Jimin?” I asked. From a happy atmosphere, I suddenly felt chills run down my spine. He suddenly smirked at my remark. He leaned in closer to my face and he leaned so close that I could feel his breathing. His breath is so hot that it felt like flames were coming out of it. I closed my eyes, afraid of what is going to happen next.

“You think you can kill me, huh?” He smirked. I tried my best to reply back as confidently as possible.

“Y-yeah.” I whimpered. Well, being confident didn’t work. He then went closer to my ear. I felt a slight tingle when I felt his breathe to mine.

“There is spinach stuck between your teeth. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.” He whispered and then chuckled at his remark. Frustration and anger suddenly builds up in my system.

“Yah! Park Jimin!” I yelled to him. He then stood up and ran away from me.

And that concludes the end of my fourth year. I know, it’s boring and that’s why I called it my “ed up year”. But, now I feel like I need some unexplained explanation to you guys. This is now coming from the present me who is strolling her way to a field filled with grass.

To think that these four years has gone by like the wind and not a single attempt was a success. How sad for me. 

There was a reason why I wanted to die. The reason is-

I'm not going to get cut off again right?

No? 

Okay good. 

The whole reason is all out of curiosity. Curious of what? Curious if anyone would care if I die today or tomorrow. Curious whether someone will grieve for me. Curious, what a nice word, if anyone would actually care about me. 

I know you will view this as me being selfish but that is the truth. Right now, I'm saying the truth and only the truth. This was the sole reason why I did all those attempts. 

Huh, what a weird character right? Well, I thought I was going to get the last laugh but I didn't. 

Seriously, why is the world so cruel? 

To think that this person. This ing human being. The one who pestered me all these years is now in front of me, silent. 

Park Jimin, how that name can mean so much to me. How can this human being be such a nuisance to me? Why is that he had to be the one always has to ruin my plans? Why is he so damn cute when he smiles? Why is it so irritating that he did not follow you around as much as before? Why did he make my heart beat faster than Usain Bolt? 

Why is he the one that got away?

Park Jimin. The person that taught me the value of life. The person that I was looking for when I wanted to know if someone cared for me. He was the guy that pops right to my head when I least expect it. He was the person that made me realized when it was too late that I actually care for. 

Park Jimin, now in front of me, buried several metres below the ground, was the guy I fell in love with. 

A stream of liquid rolls down my face as I look at the stone. I place down the flowers in front of the cold stone, engraved with his name. I produce a small chuckle but got stopped by the overflowing sullen emotion. 

"Park Jimin is an idiot. Didn’t even tell me that he is going to go to that place before me." I murmured and sniffled the snot that was ready to come out. Like expected, he didn't replied back with a sarcastic nor a flirtatious tone. It was just silent. 

I nodded my head before turning my body away from grave and walked away from it. Slowly, taking my time, I walk with heavy steps away from it. I looked back one last time and sighed. 

"Thank you." I said. The cold autumn air then blew the moment I said that and I shook my head in amazement. 

" you Jimin, you know damn well I hate the cold." I chuckled lightly and wiped away the tears. Then I walked off, not turning back because I know this was what he wanted to see. He wanted to see me strong. He wanted me to live but I didn't get the memo that he was the one that isn't going to. 

Someday, I'll meet with you again. I just hope that Hell has a big room for another boss . 



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------The End---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's note:

Ha. Jimin died. Ha.

Thanks for the 30 of you who actually subscribed to this messed up fic. I am known to be not good with writing fluff and this fic yet again proves that I still am. 

Debating whether or not I want to post Chimchim's perspective.

But anyways, this is the end and thank you who read this till the very end.