here we go ! 

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I was 17 and Baekhyun was 24 when we first met.

Baekhyun and I belonged to the same synagogue. We were both involved in local musical theater productions, but had never crossed paths. Instead of randomly meeting at High Holy Day services like many Jewish men and women might, we were divinely united to sing "You Gotta Have Heart" for a temple fundraiser variety show.

Baekhyun had red hair with accompanying adorable freckles. He had a sparkle in his smile, eyes that beamed with each playful thought, and a uniquely infectious laugh that made me melt from the inside out. For many weeks we rehearsed and kibitzed getting to know each other while sharing our love for creating and performing. We harmonized so beautifully that it didn't take long before we had a "heart on" for each other and he asked me out.

As love stories go, ours would be right up there with the best them — I just didn't know it at the time.

Baekhyun and I were two peas in a pod, sharing not only our love for theater, but for stand-up comedy, food (from knishes to Thai to his incredible lemon chicken), movies, music, witty conversation — and ultimately for each other. Our age difference was not an issue ... until it was.

They say timing is everything, and it seemed our time had to come to an end when the college bell rang from 400 miles away, and I needed to explore that stage of my life without him.

Years went by, and while I had my share of experiences away at college, I was very homesick for Baekhyun. Somehow we found ourselves talking on the phone again, eventually every night, usually late at night as he was working a graveyard shift for a computer company at the time.

His voice and his wonderful laugh were so comforting. He gave me a sense of calm and a feeling that everything was right with the world. He missed me as well, so we decided to try a long-distance relationship. Not surprisingly, even as strong as our feelings were for each other, it didn't work. Contrary to the long-running commercial, long distance is not the next best thing to being there.

Baekhyun and I attempted reconnecting again a couple of years later when I moved back home from college. But again, we were unsuccessful.

After much inner conflict, I realized that our relationship wasn't working, ironically, because of the fact that we were both artistic people.

Let's just say my vision of a financially secure and comfortable future didn't mesh with the soulmate I fell in love with. I needed someone who balanced my creative side, providing me with a sense of security. As much as I loved Baek, I felt unstable about a future together, and that hurt and insulted him. After a terrible fight he stormed away, slamming the book shut on what I assumed was the last chapter in our story.

Loving someone and realizing you don't belong together is not an easy dilemma.

Five years had passed and I still missed him. Even though I had gotten married to someone else (three years after that blowout fight), each year at High Holy Day Services I wondered if I would run into him. I would visually scan the entire congregation to see if Baek was there,