“You're kidding me, right?”
"Why would I kid you, stupid? Do I look like I'm kidding?"
"Are you sure that's what he said?"
“Aside from do I look like I'm kidding, do I look deaf to you?”

A shocked and bewildered Kim Jongin scooped up a bite of his cereal and grudgingly placed it in his mouth as he let his mind wrap around the fact his friend and former roommate, Baekhyun, had just stated. It was hard believing that his best friend, Do Kyungsoo- sweet, dorky, adorable Soo- was saying yes to a senior who, in Jongin's humble opinion, was just waiting for Jongin to go so he could make the move. And, Jongin sullenly thought as he chewed up his cereal, what a greater time to break the news than when he's taking his breakfast.

Pushing aside his bowl, he barraged Baekhyun with questions that made the other threaten to disconnect if he had another question pass by his lips, which were now pursed into a straight line. It wasn't because Jongin knew who the senior guy was, it was because it was his Kyungsoo- the person he never thought would be taken away from him. He never thought that everything would end up as it were, and suddenly the regrets came crashing to him: he shouldn't have left, he shouldn't have taken the job in the first place; heck, he shouldn't have applied at all.

The only thing that was keeping him from thrashing his room and throwing the nearest object out the window was that first, Baekhyun was watching and second, he can't afford to clean up after his own mess. It was out of sheer self control and effort that he merely ran his hands through his hair and fisted them tightly, feeling his scalp complain with the force of the pull. “Dammit, Baekhyun!” he practically shouted, and that sure made the person on the other line jump in surprise. “It was supposed to be easy; I was supposed to go back after some more weeks, ask Kyungsoo out, maybe finish my studies, make Kyungsoo my boyfriend, and, I don't know, live happily ever after? Was that too much to ask?”

Baekhyun tutted at the frustrated man on the other side of the planet. “Well it wasn't, until you decided to go to California and leave us- and more importantly, him- behind. Then it became too much to ask.”

Heavy silence permeated through the line. Jongin cannot believe that the price he had to pay for following his dreams was the loss of that one person who mattered to him, the person who held his heart back in Korea when he was in America, trying to make it in the modeling business. He grunted as he fisted his hair again, biting his lower lip in sheer frustration.

“Do you guys even talk? How come you don't know about these things?” That was the one question Jongin dreaded to answer, let alone hear. The truth was, no, they were never in speaking terms again.

Realizing that Baekhyun was waiting for an answer, he looked at the screen and saw that Baekhyun was surreptitiously looking at his hands. Without thinking, he chuckled at the sight. Baekhyun looked at him, straight in the eyes, imploring him to shake his head as an answer to the question.

It just wasn't easy, keeping up with the lives of his friends back in Korea when his morning was the time they were still asleep and the time he goes home is the time they are all online, when he's dead tired he can't even open his laptop or peek at his phone without falling asleep minutes later. He's hell bent on keeping up the first weeks, sure, but when the time came and his schedules were all but hell too, he didn't even try and just gave up completely. Starting a message proved to be hard when he does not even know what was going on with their lives and so he just closed the message window and focused on the days ahead and on the things he was supposed to do. Same went for him and Kyungsoo. The last thing Jongin heard directly from the other guy was when they were chatting and it went to the topic of Kyungsoo being accepted as a research assistant by a renowned professor in their department. Of course he was happy for him, but that was it. Their conversation slowly dwindled to small talk, then to simple hi's and hello's when they happen to be online at the same time, then nothing at all. The only person that was updating him on what was happening around campus was Baekhyun, who he coerced with a little blackmail about his secret crush and a jar of chocolate-covered almonds.

“You know,” Baekhyun said with a barely stifled yawn, “I'm getting pretty sleepy and you have some schedules, I think, so why don't we just call this a day?”
“Yeah, sure, goodnight, Baekhyun. Sleep tight.” With a sigh, he closed the window on his screen and slouched back, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he closed his eyes a bit, trying to take in what was happening while he was away. There was no use mulling over the past, but Jongin could not help but go back in time as he got ready for another day ahead.

There was a time when there was JonginANDKyungsoo, one not without the other, no spaces in between. They were always seen either together, or not at all. It wasn't unusual that Kyungsoo was walking with a shadow on his back, clinging to him as they walked back to their respective dorms, or Jongin on his dance practice while the other was busy trying to finish his-their- homework. Even when they got more people to be in their company, they always had their own world, their own jokes, their own togetherness. And their other friends, like Baekhyun and Chanyeol and Junmyeon, respected that.

Then there was the time that Jongin realized how important Kyungsoo was to him, how he wasn't just a mere friend. It was then that the dancer realized that his steps always led back to this owl-eyed, squishy, lips-shaped-like-a-heart boy. From there, it was no turning back. Kyungsoo was his sole pillar in the mean world of collegiate dance troupes, and he was also the one who knew what to do exactly when Jongin got a tad sick because of practice. It was Kyungsoo who was always there, doing both of their assignments when he comes home from dance practice without the energy to even open his books. It was in Kyungsoo's lap he slept this one time when he was so exhausted from everything he practically plopped down the sofa and his head neatly placed itself in the smaller's lap. It was Kyungsoo who would cook breakfast for him and Baekhyun the next day, not complaining that Jongin's head was too heavy or that it was still so early in the morning and he slept not 2 hours ago, and that he wasn't in his own dorm almost everyday, save for the days he actually had to because he had to get something. It was also Kyungsoo who urged him to take the job, and Kyungsoo who helped him through the whole ordeal, and when the time came for Jongin to say goodbye at the airport it was Kyungsoo who hugged him the longest, saying stuff like ‘take care of yourself’ and ‘we'll miss you so much’.

When it came down to it, it had always been Kyungsoo, and for Jongin, it will always be Kyungsoo.

His schedule that day permitted him to temporarily forget about what he and Baekhyun talked about. It was full of shoots, of flashing lights and cameras clicking away, but when it was all said and done, he knew he needed to act and he needed to act fast.

Pleading and successfully asking for a break with a promise he'll be back next week, Jongin packed a few of his belongings, purchased a ticket for the next flight to Korea, and willed and hoped with all his heart that the person who holds it would be his.

After the flight landed in Incheon, Jongin stood with shaky legs as he stepped foot- after 10 months and a few weeks- in his motherland. After this day, he knew it just wouldn't be the same. Gathering his belongings and courage, he hailed a taxi and went straight to where Baekhyun was.

He was greeted with shock and glee after Baekhyun opened the door with a sassy “Who you?”. After greeting him with a bone crushing bear hug and some laughs, they collapsed on the sofa, chuckling. Before Jongin could ask, however, what happened to Kyungsoo, there was a rap on the door and Baekhyun stood up, forehead creased as he said “Another surprise visitor for the night?”. Jongin sat up straight but did not stand up, so his view was partially blocked as Baekhyun opened the door, but he saw who was outside, alright.

It was Kyungsoo, his eyes slightly puffy and his hands clasped tightly in front of him. But it was the smile that made Jongin's heart constrict. It was a genuine smile, going from ear to ear, his lips shaping like a heart and exactly what Jongin imagined and knew it to be. Since the door was partially opened and only he could see what whas happening outside and not vice versa, Kyungsoo did not realize how crippling his words could be when he said:

“I did it, Baekhyun. I told him what I told you earlier.”

Without realizing it, Baekhyun threw open the door and hugged Kyungsoo tightly, his action revealing a stony faced Jongin staring at a shocked Kyungsoo. Before anyone could say anything, though, the taller guy stood up and regarded Kyungsoo with a nod, trying his best not to cup the smaller's cheek and and passed by Baekhyun to go down and walk to the nearest bar. Out of sheer surprise, no one dared to say anything until Jongin was a few blocks away.

The bar was some more streets away and it helped Jongin clear his mind and focus on the fact that today, all of his efforts were wasted and everything he had hoped for on the floor, broken to tiny little pieces, being stepped on and swept by the storm that is Kyungsoo. As he got nearer the bar, he knew that sooner or later he'd had to face the fact that they were not meant for each other but good God, why now of all days?

Pitchers and pitchers of beer later, he was positively buzzed and tipsy, and as he swaggered to the bar to ask for one last beer for him, a hand shot out from behind and grabbed on his shoulders to turn him around. He could just make out the features that were Kyungsoo's, and pretty soon he was putting on his weight to this person who had the same build as Kyungsoo. They stumbled to the nearest empty booth and there, like a cat, Jongin slided up to Kyungsoo's side and tried to get as close as he can. Kyungsoo, in a last ditch effort, threw the other's hand around his shoulders and tried to hoist him up, to no avail. They ended up with Jongin on the lap of the smaller guy while the latter, sensing his loss, preferred to thread his fingers over the hair that he once loved to touch.

Leaning down, amisdt the bustle of the crowd, Kyungsoo whispered to Jongin: “I really, really missed you.”

Jongin, on the other hand, patted his head until a warm hand slided over his. Intertwining their hands together, and because there was no mistaking that it was Kyungsoo he was with, he started saying the words, enunciating each word slowly, as he knew he should have said these earlier, when he still had the chance.

“I really, really, really liked you, Kyungsoo-no scratch that, I love you. You're so cute, and squishy and did you know you look absolutely angelic when you smile? I love you because it's not what I feel for you, it's what I don't feel for anyone else but you. I love you simply because I do, Soo. And I know this is null now because you have a boyfriend but-”

He heard a chuckle from behind him, then a whisper on his ear: “Who said anything about me having a boyfriend?”

And Jongin didn't exactly care whether he hit his head on the table when he suddenly sat up or that his face was mere inches away from Kyungsoo's, or that his feet were awkwardly dangling; he just needed confirmation. “What did you say again?”

It turns out that Kyungsoo realized how he really liked Jongin, and how even in the silence of them not speaking his heart was still with the other guy, and so he rejected the senior guy. It wasn't because he was busy with his studies or he just wasn't interested; but

“I told him I liked someone else.”

And Jongin did what he always wanted to do. He leaned in then kissed him gently, their lips molding together like a puzzle that has finally found its missing piece. Jongin reverently reveled in the sensation of Kyungsoo's soft lips against his. They took their time memorizing each other, their hands still intertwined. After a while it was Jongin who slowed down the kiss until they were murmuring on each other's mouth words of appreciation and love.

“Wait for me, Kyungsoo. Please wait for me.” Jongin pleaded with all his heart and soul.

Kyungsoo kissed him again, a promise of forever waiting once Jongin got back from his stint, sealed with two hearts that now beat as one.

-fin-

 

p.s. again, comments and subs are loved!