Chapter 1

The heat was blistering. Seoul in summer felt like living in a furnace and with so many people packed in one place, like sardines in can, it was almost unbearable. The shoes didn’t help, granted I was smaller than the other girls but still why the shoes? They felt like daggers piercing my heels with every step and I was supposed to dance in these? As I raced around the corner to meet with the others I felt a roar of panic. If I was late there would be a long line of people wanting me dead. Rushing forward everything was blur. The lights, the sounds and the colours all merged into one glorious moment and before I knew it, it was over.

Stumbling back into the darkness I heard cheers of excitement “I almost thought you wouldn’t make it dongsaeng. Don’t freak me out like that again!” an authoritative but sincere voice commanded I turned to follow the voice and it lead me to Gyeong. Gyeong is the group leader, main vocalist and one of the visuals. As well as this she is mother of two and a personal role model of mine. Wiping a bead of sweat from my forehead I responded while trying catch my breath “unnie someone has to keep things exciting!” I joked

“Just because you’re the maknae doesn’t mean you can act like a child and be so irresponsible!” Lashed Mi-Sook with a bitter tone. Honestly I feel she’s jealous. She didn’t make main dancer or main rapper because, me the youngest in the group, was better. It must have hurt her pride and honestly I loved it. “Just because you look like a dog doesn’t mean you can act like one but hey that clearly hasn’t stopped you.” I responded coldly, glaring in her direction while flipping my ashen locks over one shoulder. Before she had an opportunity to respond our manager approached. Kim Chul although dim-witted is a good man and genuinely cares for the group. He’s grinning from ear to ear and hugs each of us before speaking.

“You girls killed it tonight, keep it up and you’ll be unstoppable.” He paused “and it appears I am not the only one who thinks so, S.M. Entertainment called and they feel like we’ve been doing great together and so they want to step it up! Get ready we have a meeting in the morning!” I turned to my other four bandmates Gyeong, Mi-Sook, Nana and Eun. We all had disbelieving expressions but also a glimmer of excitement in our eyes.

The next day at 7:45 we were picked up from our dorm and taken over to a large office building with shimmering glass windows that stretched so far up it seemed as if they would never stop. Kim Chul ushered us into the building and from there we were escorted up into large conference room. The window in the far side of the room showed the beauty of Seoul as if looking into a photograph, the large ovoid table in the centre had many chairs orbiting it, the floral decorations added necessary colour to the otherwise bland room but the most noticeable feature was the 12 men sat before us. Except these weren’t just guys; they we’re stunning, charismatic and most importantly they were EXO one of the biggest boy bands around and extremely successful. I quickly analysed their faces, did I mention stunning? Damn.

We got our initial greeting out of the way and took our seats, I would have darted for a seat in the corner but Nana grabbed my hand and asked if I would like to sit with her. Nana is the face of the group and lead vocalist as well as this she is honestly the sweetest person I have ever met and knows I struggle in large groups so I wouldn’t even dream of saying no to her. As we all settled into our seats I noticed it was EXO on one side and us on the other. Truthfully having them sitting there was very intimidating but I couldn’t let anyone see that. No one spoke a word and the room was eerily silent besides the regular ticking of the wall mounted clock. The silence seemed heavy almost, it was an uncomfortable feeling. As a safety net I began to reach for my phone to distract myself but before I could Xiumin broke the silence “Why are we all here?” A question that had been on everyone’s minds it seems yet none of us had the answer it was only the two bands in the conference room currently and apparently none of us knew why. “I was hoping one of you would know honestly” Gyeong responded.

“Wait you’re that girl group with the all-kill comeback right?” Baekhyun added

“Yes.” Mi-Sook responded sharply. The awkward silence returned lingering over all 17 of us like a thick veil. I pondered why it was referred to as a comeback as our debut was less than a year ago, where did we go? I wondered but before I could look any further into it I was alarmed by the mention of my name, snapping out of my reverie all I caught was Mi-Sook finishing her sentence with “…She’s a really big fan” I looked up from the table to see all 12 boys looking directly at me. I could feel as my face became flushed and my cheeks began to burn, was it with anger at Mi-Sook or embarrassment? Most likely both but as I sat there looking like a deer in the headlights I was astounded to hear Kai’s voice “Thank you, clearly you have good taste!” He chuckled before sending a disapproving look in Mi-Sooks direction. It was comforting to know that Mi-Sook looked like the idiot and not me.

Finally the door swung open and in unison we all let out a sigh of relief. Into the room came Kim Chul, who I can only assume is EXOs manager and Kim Young-min CEO of S.M. Entertainment. With all three of them here this must be important. Kim Young-min cleared his throat before beginning “We here at S.M. Entertainment want our idols to stand out from the rest and we feel that a key part of that is not only their relationship with their fans but also with each other. I selected you as the idols I will trial this idea with. You will being moving into new shared dorms with each other as well as this I expect you to be seen together, preform together and expect you to sell the narrative as friends so that you will share and gain new fans!” that was all he said and quickly he his heels and exited the conference room leaving two sheepish looking managers and 17 bewildered idols.

The managers continued by telling us how great an opportunity this is as we would receive far more scheduled events and more resources from the company but regardless we didn’t really have choice either way. We were told to return to our current dorms and pack our things as we would be moving tomorrow morning. The idol system is so confusing to me, I couldn’t help but think that sometimes we’re like glamorised slaves forced to look, act and behave a certain way or risk what we’ve worked for our whole lives and furthermore…- my train of thought was cut off by the loud thump of me falling over something. Hitting the floor the contents of bag spread across the hallway and as I attempted to collect it all a hand touched mine while I had reached for my purse I slowly look up and make eye contact with the owner of the hand. My eyes lock with Kyungsoo’s before he shyly looks at the floor and lets out an embarrassed “sorry, sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it roomie”  I say blushing as I regain my composure and stand up Kyungsoo follows and hands me my purse before letting out a fair giggle and running after his bandmates. I can’t help but find him endearing. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.