A thousand more times.

Just let me toss the ball a thousand more times with you by my side, Hinata.

“Kageyama!” Hinata shrieked as the volleyball aimed straight for the back of Kageyama’s head. Kageyama turned at just the right time for ball to hit him squarely in the face. Hinata’s face turned a ghostly shade of white as blood spurted out of Kageyama’s nose. Kageyama stared at his blood-stained fingers in shock before storming towards Hinata with that menacing expression Hinata has seen too many times. Hinata flinched and threw his hands up in defence when Kageyama raised his arm and grabbed onto his hair tightly.

“Idiot. Do you try to hurt me on purpose?” Kageyama’s voice cracked slightly, and he prayed to God that Hinata’s ears did not hear it. Hinata stared up at him, his eyes wide. He stopped trembling, and that’s when Kageyama knew. He knew that Hinata had learnt to see through him, like he was a pane of glass. It was only a matter of time before he shatters completely into a million pieces on the court, leaving Hinata to walk on broken shards.

Kageyama’s mind was firm, but his heart was fragile. He wasn’t invincible.

Hinata seemed to think so.

Darkness had been Kageyama’s only friend. It surrounded him, consumed him, welcomed him into its arms. It embraced him as he slept, hid him from the world when he cried. He wondered why everyone was so afraid it. He found out why when it decided to join him on the court. His eyes saw nothing but the darkness around him. He could no longer see his teammates, the net, or even the ball, for they all had faded to black. No one was by his side anymore. His tosses were to thin air, with no receiver on the other end of the arc. The echo of the ball hitting the ground still rang through his ears.

Thud.

He had pushed everyone away. He was a king with no knights. A king like that should be in no position to rule.

There was still a glimmer of hope. He saw it in Hinata’s eyes when they first met. Hope for a change that could lead them to victory. Kageyama was instantly drawn to him like a moth to a flame. He wouldn’t have described it as love, for the feeling went deeper than that. He would never dream of touching the boy’s lips with his own. Yet he had a strong desire to completely devote himself and his time to him.

Time waits for no one. Kageyama’s hourglass was already half empty.

Practice the next day went as usual. Kageyama throwing perfect tosses for Hinata to slam down over the net. Hinata crying out triumph each time they did it. Kageyama would have too, if it weren’t for the dull ache creeping into his chest. Hinata’s heart sank. Victory wasn’t the same if only one of them were celebrating. 

“Kage-“

“Don’t.” Kageyama avoided Hinata’s gaze, his arms folded across his chest and his nails digging into the skin at his elbows. “Don’t speak. If you do, I may fall apart.”

Hinata closed the gap between them and rested his head on Kageyama’s chest. He could feel his heart pounding wildly against his cheek. He understood why. It was their last year together at Karasuno High. Whether or not they’d see each other again after that was unknown. A distant thought.

“I’m still here,” Hinata spoke so softly that Kageyama didn’t know if the words coming out of his mouth were the same words that made it to his ears. Standing here with Hinata in his arms didn’t feel real.

This was a scene that only came to Kageyama in his dreams.

“Let’s stay like this for a while. In the present. Together.” Hinata felt Kageyama’s chin press against his head and closed his eyes to the sound of Kageyama’s breaths.

“A thousand more times, Hinata. Let me toss the ball to you a thousand more times.”

Hinata glanced up to see him staring into the distance, his mind probably racing with a million thoughts. Hinata nodded, eager to get the king back onto the court.

Make that a thousand and one.

Kageyama didn’t know how he did it, but Hinata managed to knock the air out of his lungs once more without even hitting him with the ball. This was a different kind of breathlessness. It was as if Hinata had pressed his lips against his, kissing him with such force that it left his mouth raw and gasping for oxygen. It was bittersweet. Kageyama didn’t want it to end. The way Hinata spread his invisible wings and soared through the air with his hand reaching out in front of him, longing to feel the familiar surface of the object directly in front of him against his calloused skin – it was certainly a sight you wouldn’t want to miss. A blink of an eye and Hinata would be back on his feet again before you even got to witness what miraculous event had unfolded.  This wasn’t the fast attack they had practiced over and over until they could do it in their sleep. It was something much more. As Hinata rose, his eyes met Kageyama’s and he held his gaze for the entirety of the attack.

What do you think you’re doing? We are one point behind and you decide to pull this now? Kageyama wanted to yell. The words caught in his throat.

This was Hinata’s way of saying ‘I trust you, and I want to see the look in your eyes at the exact moment you hear the ball hit the floor on the other side of the net, all thanks to you. You gave me wings. Now I can fly’.

The ball did make it to the other side of the net. The scoreboard showed that they were now in a tie with Aoba Johsai. That single toss was worth more than a thousand other tosses. That was his best toss, all because of how it was received by him.

Hinata Shouyou.

Kageyama clung onto the memory of that moment as tightly as he clung onto Hinata’s small body, his arms wrapping around him and pulling him into a hug.

I’m not afraid of losing you anymore.

Because of you, because of me…

We can continue to fly together.